Review Team sass Posted January 11, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 If you had to choose between someone you love, but who would probably never love you in return, and someone who truly cares about you and you were not yet sure if you could love, which would you choose? And why? This isn’t exactly my scenario, but close. I am leaning toward the latter, just because there is the unknown – that I don’t know if something more can/will develop, whereas with the former, as much as I care, if he can’t return it … what am I really getting out of it, KWIM? I know, the perfect life we have some we love AND who loves us back, but let's talk hypothetically, if we must. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted January 11, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2009 I lean twards the second, also. The first you know will never be quite what you want,but with the second, there is always the possibility.A person who cares about you will be carful with your feelings, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted January 12, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 If you had to choose between someone you love, but who would probably never love you in return, and someone who truly cares about you and you were not yet sure if you could love, which would you choose? And why? This isn’t exactly my scenario, but close. I am leaning toward the latter, just because there is the unknown – that I don’t know if something more can/will develop, whereas with the former, as much as I care, if he can’t return it … what am I really getting out of it, KWIM? I know, the perfect life we have some we love AND who loves us back, but let's talk hypothetically, if we must. Hmmm I would choose neither! It has to be mutual to work, seriously! If you aren't sure you should just wait! Unrequited love SUCKS! But so does trying to convince yourself there is love when there isn't! Like I said before, play the field until you are sure! It's YOUR life! No need to "choose" until you are sure! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted January 12, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 I agree with SunFlower. Keep looking.Number 1 guy is a lost cause; get over him (yeah, easier said than done, but get over him).. . . It is not fair for you to love and not be loved in return!! . . .The knife cuts both ways. It is not fair to number 2 guy to settle for him when you don't love him. Cut him free. You'd be doing him a favor, as well as yourself. Otherwise I don't believe you would ever be happy, and I think if (or maybe WHEN) some temptation comes along down the road, it would be too easy to slip up, and that would not at all be fair to poor bastard number 2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted January 12, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 I believe everyone deserves to be loved, so I would never settle for someone who didn't love me. It's not fair to yourself, and you may end up being resentful. I've seem it happen to many friends who didn't marry or commit for the right reasons. However I would see where the second situations leads to. If you love him, and are loved by him fabulous. If not, love yourself enough to know being alone is ok too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted January 12, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 poor bastard number 2.Hahahaha that made me laugh. Sorry. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whitefang2002 Posted January 12, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 12, 2009 I would go with the second one. I was in a situation similar to guy number one...and I realized that it wasn't fair to him. I loved him...and thought he loved me...but he wasn't exactly 100% happy. I know he had feelings for me. But I just (even as hard as it was) had to get over him and not keep bugging him to get back together. It just wasn't fair to him. I love him so much and want him to be happy...so I had to force myself to move on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted January 13, 2009 Author Review Team Report Share Posted January 13, 2009 I would go with the second one. I was in a situation similar to guy number one...and I realized that it wasn't fair to him. I loved him...and thought he loved me...but he wasn't exactly 100% happy. I know he had feelings for me. But I just (even as hard as it was) had to get over him and not keep bugging him to get back together. It just wasn't fair to him. I love him so much and want him to be happy...so I had to force myself to move on.You totally nailed it with this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members synirr Posted January 15, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2009 Neither. I've been in both situations and neither can end well... you might see where it goes with #2, but don't lead him on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members raniedaize Posted July 15, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2009 If there was no way around having to choose between the two, I would most certainly pick the first one: me loving the guy who would likely never love me back. I personally would feel happier that way instead of being stuck with some high-maintainence guy I'm just not into. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members admiraltolokus Posted July 16, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 If you had to choose between someone you love, but who would probably never love you in return, and someone who truly cares about you and you were not yet sure if you could love, which would you choose? And why? This isn’t exactly my scenario, but close. I am leaning toward the latter, just because there is the unknown – that I don’t know if something more can/will develop, whereas with the former, as much as I care, if he can’t return it … what am I really getting out of it, KWIM? I know, the perfect life we have some we love AND who loves us back, but let's talk hypothetically, if we must. I am going through that right now with two girls. There is Katherine who I have been with before and might get back together with and I know had more interest in hearing me say "I love you" than the actual feelings that are supposed to be behind it whenever I tried to get her to express any sort of love. And Cassie who does seem to really care but I really do not... well I don't know if I can return her feelings. I am leaning towards the former oddly enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted July 16, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 I am going through that right now with two girls. There is Katherine who I have been with before and might get back together with and I know had more interest in hearing me say "I love you" than the actual feelings that are supposed to be behind it whenever I tried to get her to express any sort of love. And Cassie who does seem to really care but I really do not... well I don't know if I can return her feelings. I am leaning towards the former oddly enough.I say start fresh.... love yourself first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members admiraltolokus Posted July 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I say start fresh.... love yourself first.I know I can do that too but with her I have to get through and past this thing I see many girls doing where they want you to wait for them if you catch my drift, or rather them wanting me to not be the one who initiaties cell phone texting or a date, well I don't want to wait forever and I do not have forever to wait on them so someone better get her little butt into gear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members TheBadger Posted July 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I'd pick someone who loves you because you have a less chance of that person hurting you and they will genuinely want to make you happy... Just my opinion though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 12GAUGE Posted July 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 17, 2009 I lean twards the second, also. The first you know will never be quite what you want,but with the second, there is always the possibility.A person who cares about you will be carful with your feelings, too. I would go with #2 also.I had that kind of relationship w/#2. She loved me but she never said she was 'in love with me'. Maybe its just me but I think there is a very big difference there. On the other hand I was scared to death to tell her I loved her. Partly cuz I wasn't absolutely sure and didn't want to open a can of worms I couldn't close back up.She was my first admitted 'drama queen', her words. I never got so much makeup sex till I met her. She always thot I was mad at her bout sumthin. Most the time I had no idea what she was talking about. I wanted to love her. I did care for her more than any woman I've ever been with. She was good to me and made me feel good to be a man. She was a good cook too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bluelotusparties Posted May 1, 2012 Members Report Share Posted May 1, 2012 i don't think you should choose..if he's not in loved with you, he's not.don't push yourself to someone who can't make you happy..the ryt person will come in the ryt time..hope everything will be alright Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.