Members kburkhal66 Posted January 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 Okay, I've heard of this fetish before and actually saw it in a movie (Rising Sun - Wesley Snipes/Sean Connery). I have never met a woman, until now, that likes it. She says that choking her during sex makes her orgasms very intense. We've been together for a while and she says that she trusts me completely. She wants me to do it her.I will try most anything at least once. This, however, is a little scary. Is there a safe way to do this? Is it better to use a scarf than my hands? I imagine we need to set up some magic word that stops it immediately. Choking her during sex is not something you can mess up, laugh about it, and try again....Does anyone have any experience with this? I'm not going to try this until I have some idea what to expect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Neuroticax Posted January 17, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 17, 2009 You really need to pay attention to your partners body language when doing this. You'll eventually know when things can go too far and possibly even loose the safety word. Speaking of that, I would say use a gesture, rather than a word. Depending on how much force you are using, you could mistake it for a groan. Snapping of the fingers is one that's worked for me in the past. If you want to "practice", you can always have a sit down with her and try and get a feel of how close to get before it would be too much.Personally, I enjoy hands more than scarfs or belts or what have you. This all depends on you and your lovers comfortable zone. Scarfs and such could irritate the skin or leave marks, (again, depending on the force) which is why I prefer hands.. and the fact I love feeling his hands on me. Using scarfs can be erotic and sensual, belts can be dominant and exciting. It's all in preference really. Try whatever until you're comfortable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted January 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 I am not one to judge what people find erotic or stimulating. I am, however, going to warn you about this play. There have been documented deaths by people engaging in this type of play. The danger is that you may take it to far without knowing or she may coax you into choking her harder or longer and soon she becomes unconscious and looses oxygen, which can kill or cause brain damage.While I would definitely stay clear of this play, I am aware that you may still do it to satisfy your partner. If you do engage, I would BEG you to be careful and NEVER press your fingers against her windpipe, always have a safe signal, don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable, don't enage in rope choking (way too easy to slip up), or belts or any of that. I know many people do - but personally, I think it is way too dangerous. Just try to educate yourself on this, always be in communication and understanding with your partner, and always be as safe as you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted January 18, 2009 Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 Where I am all for experimentation, the whole choking thing is a HUGE no-no, IMO. People get seriously hurt, can have permanent damage done, and sometimes will die due to this particular fetish. During the heat of the moment, you may not even realize that you're squeezing too hard, and the "squeezee" can't signal you at all due to lack of oxygen.That said, if you HAVE to do this, then start off small, and gently, until you learn how to regulate your pressure in the heat of the moment, and how much is her preference.Again, I would recommend staying away from it. And, IF you do try it, and find you don't like it, let her know that that's not something you're into, and would rather not participate in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kburkhal66 Posted January 18, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 Thank you for two very important points. First - affirming my concerns that this fetish is a bit over the edge. Second - your sound advice on how to approach the discussion. For the record and every one else reading this, I am not comfortable with this kind of thing - especially now. Like I said earlier, I'm game to try most anything once. However, the risks seem to far outweigh the benefits in this case. Is there a less dangerous option that may approach the same/similar sensation without getting anywhere near her windpipe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted January 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 Thank you for two very important points. First - affirming my concerns that this fetish is a bit over the edge. Second - your sound advice on how to approach the discussion. For the record and every one else reading this, I am not comfortable with this kind of thing - especially now. Like I said earlier, I'm game to try most anything once. However, the risks seem to far outweigh the benefits in this case. Is there a less dangerous option that may approach the same/similar sensation without getting anywhere near her windpipe?I say you find out how much experience your partner has with it. She may have only done it once and so only light (little more than a hand on the throat) pressure might do the trick, if she's been hard core into it maybe she knows how to be safe about it. As for avoiding the windpipe, I wouldn't have the slightest clue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DADT Posted January 20, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2009 I agree with everyone else here. There are other ways to get people off that don't risk potentially killing them. Is this method really an erotic turn on or is there some "power trip" thing going on where she gets turned on by making you do something dangerous & outside your comfort zone. And what will you do when this method gets old? And if you are significantly physically bigger & stronger than her just say no now. Eventually, she may urge you to use your full strength. And what if you actually did? Shuddering thought right.You should ask her if she really wants to feel a sense of strangulation, or does she just like the idea of being helpless and at your mercy. Sex is supposed be relaxing and fulfilling. Not frightening for either partner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted January 21, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 No amount of caution and carefulness will make this safe. YES it is a fetishYES people do itNO - IT DOES NOT SHOW GOOD JUDGEMENT!THINK FIRST! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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