Members littlemissnonamegirl Posted January 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 Hey everyone hope you all had a great holiday and new year! 2009? ha! who woulda thought it is finally here.The new year is a time of reflection and opportunity to make changes in one's life. There have been some serious struggles in my own life, as with many others. We all have our times. The toughest has been the complete split with my family. No one will talk to me, because I brought up my abuse as a youngster. Everyone thinks I made up the entire situation including the person who inflicted such actions. They keep calling me a liar and I'm delirious about all which occurred...why would I EVER make such a thing up? In consequence of speaking of the incident, I can no longer speak or see some of our friends under orders that I'm a liar and an embarrassment to the family. So pretty much this has been a miserable few weeks, I've even thought of just picking up my things and sleeping in my car. I'm just at the breaking point. I've even wanted to go and stay at a friend's place, but running away isn't the answer. but being here is hell, I get sworn at [cursed, verbally abused, ignored] I haven't stop crying. Some people aren't criers, that's me. but lately the tears just won't go away. I just can't do anything right and I'm positive my relationship with important people are damaged...just for speaking the truth. It kills...but shit happens right? we just got to pick up and move on.If that wasn't enough, my own physical appearance has suffered. my weight continues to fluctuate and I'm just not happy. with myself. I used to love how I looked, and now I hide away from mirrors. I can't even look at myself naked as I step into the shower. Instead, I'll overanalyze and pick at all the flaws. It's hell. So between this and having been excommunicated from my family I have no idea what to do. I feel like my presence is just not needed anymore.thanks for letting me get this out. I've been bottling it in [bad idea i know], not sure where to put it. But I know you guys are accepting and won't judge me. so what better place than now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted January 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 As one person with a psyhcoitic family to another, get out ASAP. The abuse they are inflicting upon you won't get any better. And even if it did, it would be very short lived. You are not the problem, not by any means. But it would be in your best interest to put space between you and this. It isn't running by any means. You wouldn't be teaching them a lesson or anything like that either, you'd be taking yourself out of a harmful situtation.Normally I love happy pills, but I don't think this depression is a chemical imbalence so much as people are treating you like crap and you feel it. I do say though that talking to a professional would help WONDERS, I know your mom is a shrink so maybe someone who doesn't know her would be best. Just getting a 3rd party to tell you that your not crazy that you deserve to be treated better than your family and friends have treated you and that speaking out is healthy and the right thing to do!Are you back in school yet? If not go and apply for a dorm if you don't have one, its better than nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted January 18, 2009 Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 Darlin', vent away! I'm usually online, and if you ever feel the need, PM me, and I will send you my 3 SNs/chat services I use. We're here for you, and I am sorry you're going thru it all. *HUGS* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted January 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 I am so sorry you are being treated this way. When I started talking to my family about my abuse, I was (still am) treated much the same way.My parents still act like nothing ever happened, and I have siblings who won't talk to me because of 'what I did to the family.' I have two sisters who can see the truth and support me emotionally. I don't attend family functions for my own emotional protection.I didn't 'do' anything. I told the truth. They do not want to hear or see the truth. Now I know it is their problem. I am feeling much better.It isn't you, sweetie, it is them. Please move away from them any way you can.Don't put yourself in that position. Your self esteem and well being are to important.You, and your dreams are important. YOU NEED TO COME FIRST RIGHT NOW.You need to get away and heal, honey. Please, go!Also, find someone qualified that you can talk to, it makes a huge difference.Vent away, sweetie, we will listen anytime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whitefang2002 Posted January 18, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 18, 2009 I will possibly add my story later. But I too was abused in every way growing up, by my step dad. My mom witnesses first had things he did, but yet she wouldn't say or do anything to stop him. and then after...she still stayed with him. I however know that the best thing for me is to walk away from my family cuz the shit they put me through. It will be the hardest thing in my life that I will have to do. The timing just isn't right for me. I admire your courage to step out and confront them about the things that have happened. That takes guts. And no one in their right mind would make something like that up! And thats just like my family's reaction. They pretend like nothing has ever happened. To this day I swear I will never be alone in a room with my step dad cuz he makes sick comments and wants me to do stuff to him. I hope you are able to get out of there cuz things probably won't look up until you do. I know the hell you are going through. Also for me, it did help to see a therapist. I still see one! And im not embarassed about it one bit because its helping me. And seeing one doens't make me crazy. Well, I hope you are able to get out some time soon and that you are able to move on in life. I once again have to say that I admire you for confronting your family about it. Hope things get better hun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members littlemissnonamegirl Posted January 19, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 Thank you to each one of you for your replies.I would love to elaborate more about this situation to further explain what exactly happened, but I must refrain right now from doing so for many personal reasons.What kills me the most is my family consists of several therapists... and they refuse to admit they need the help. I WANT to see a therapist/counselor, I just have to find one. As much as I am an adult and on my own in a sense, I still am on their insurance [full time student] so it's hard to find a place without them finding out. Esp. when I'm constantly told I don't need help I'm fine I just have issues like every other young adult. Sheesh.Suzy, my school doesn't have dorms. but it doesn't matter, I'm having a major crisis otherwise. I'm contemplating some huge life decisions that might just pick me up and move me anyway. Bah, but let's not allow me to bitch some more lol.On a more serious note, to you ladies/gents who mentioned above about your own similar experiences with abuse, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has dealt with such an emotional experience. It's almost saddening to know so many of us [not just tt, people I know] have suffered abuse. It kills me to know it still happens, and just as extreme if not worse.Iha, you're a wonderful example of what a therapist SHOULD BE. working to alleviate a child's pain and guide them down a road of happiness. I unfortunately like many, still look to my past and find myself reliving the pain all over again. even if it happened this one time, it hurt badly enough to feel 80 times worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted January 19, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 Well, ya know! If your looking for a place to pick up and move to we have a GREAT college right here! We also have lots of AMAZING dance schools up here, that have connections to dance companies in NYC www.plattsburgh.edu is the school http://www.balletplattsburgh.org/ is the dance schoolAnd if you'd rather stay away from the fam during the summer, I got a spare room.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted January 19, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 Yes, it is sad that there are so many of us, but look at it this way:Many of us have been able to deal with our abuse and have a happy life.More then anything, I want that for you, too.It takes time, but it is possible.I agree, Iha is a wonderful person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jesso Posted January 19, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 Lil miss its sooo good to see you back on here!! I have to say how sorry to hear your family isn't being supportive. Unfortunately my only advice is to just be patient with them and hope that after the initial shock it will soak in and eventually some will start coming around. Abuse is a hard thing for people to swallow. And when its close to home, even harder. I'm sorry they weren't there for you right now. But I am glad you have an outlet and chose to come say hello here and get some sort of support. As far as your body image, well honey, its all related. You've got to take some time to concentrate on you and learn how to deal with this situation in your own way. And through that you'll start to feel good again and in turn your body will too. Thinking of you and sending over good thoughts - Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted January 19, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 19, 2009 Hey sweetie! I was wondering about you! You can call me anytime! Lets get together again soon! Getting away might just be the answer! Go and find yourself without this shadow hanging over you... We are here for you OK:)You know I <3 ya! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members raniedaize Posted January 21, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 Dear Little Miss,Greetings! Just so you know, you are the first entry on the forum I am replying to. As such, consider yourself loved and cherished! I don't really know you quite yet, but your message rang with a truth that I know too well: Sometimes those who are supposed to love us the most fail at it the most. But chin up; that's when we encounter some of the least expected things. We find uber-comfy shoulders to cry on, open ears to hear us, and the realization that the people who we decide to matter most in our lives ought to be those who accept us unconditionally and not those who stipulate conditional terms for receiving their affection. I moved out of my parents' home at the age of twenty due to similar family issues. I too was a full time student with only two hundred bucks to my name at the time. I can honestly tell you that suddenly abandoning the home and people with whom you grew up is NOT an easy task! The first year was extremely difficult--monetarily, EMOTIONALLY, and physically. After a while, though, I discovered that by standing up and respecting myself first and foremost, they too learned to follow suit and respect me in turn. Now, two and a half years later, my family and I are able to get along well--not because "time covers a multitude of sins" but because I was adament that they must accept and acknowledge responsibility until they eventually did. Just be yourself, love yourself, and never allow others to be the priority in your life when they consider you merely an option in theirs. YOU are precious.Oh, and don't be too upset about your body fluctuations. You never know what a person may find attractive or irrelevant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members littlemissnonamegirl Posted January 21, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 Thanks you guys, I'm working on making some big changes.I just have some research to do.It's tough deciding what to do where to go or be not neccessarily because of this situation even. In general.It's a scary world out there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted January 21, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 21, 2009 Tiny D, when you doubt yourself just go through your older pic posts and I think you will find that others appreciate you as you are! It's a damned shame that two people who should know better have taken an opposing position in this. I would bet a month of paychecks that it's because they don't want to admit their failure to recognize and/or deal with it. Whatever you choose to do, you have many of us behind you, though we would rather be beside you through this whole mess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members froggystyle1977 Posted January 22, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2009 Hi sweetie you know how to reach me if you want to talk. As many others have posted you are not alone in this I am sorry to say it is very common.... Denial is an easy way to aviod ones own faults!! If you want I will come kick all thier asses!!!!!!!! Anyway sweetie you know we are all here and if you need a little support from someone who knows what your going through just PM or myspace me!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members littlemissnonamegirl Posted January 24, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Thanks again to ALL of you folks here at tt for being so supportive!even though you aren't my blood fam, you sure give me way more support [tt fam]you guys rock. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted January 24, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2009 Froggy the sig pix are great! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members vanilla_bean Posted January 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 Thanks again to ALL of you folks here at tt for being so supportive!even though you aren't my blood fam, you sure give me way more support [tt fam]you guys rock.Family isn't always blood.How are you doing? Any improvements? Keep us informed. I've been thinking about you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.