Review Team sass Posted January 25, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 A lot of you know that I do not have a real good track record with relationships. I have had plenty of them, just not ones that have been very healthy or long-lasting. I pretty much got to the point of giving up on love.Then, when I least expected it, it happened. I am head over heels for someone now! YAY, right? Well … hang on. As should be expected with me, there are some challenges. I am happier than I have been in a very long time, maybe ever. He is a great guy, the best IMO, and I don’t want to go into details about the challenges, but I would like to ask what you all think about this:Can love truly conquer all? Can it over-come all obstacles if it is real and true? I am a love-newbie, so I really do not know the answer. What do you all think?<Raise your hand if you are as surprised as I am that I am asking a LOVE question. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted January 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 They don't make things we can't do, only things we haven't tried yet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted January 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 If Pappy said it, it must be true. I do think love can overcome anything, if both people ae comitted to making it work.I am so happy for you, you deserve this.Good thoughts going your way.Yes~ I raised my hand!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted January 25, 2009 Report Share Posted January 25, 2009 I don't want to sound pessimistic, however, IMHO, love can't conquer all, unless BOTH people are deeply in love, not just lust, and are also willing to put forth some serious effort. In most relationships, I've given 200%, and well, they don't work out because the other one in the relationship thinks that I am making all the effort, so why should they? Even though they claimed to love me with all their soul.There are somethings that can come between couples, that, even with all the love in the world, can't help. BTDT, have the t-shirt AND the mug! BOTH people have to be committed to the relationship and willing to give as well as take. For the person bringing IN the issues into the relationship, sometimes it's minimized, they don't want to confront it, or take care of it, and it can, and usually does, fester into the new relationship. Sometimes the issues are the same ones that killed the last relationship.The key to a good relationship, besides communication, is TRUST. Many times, us women try TOO hard to please our men, and loose ourselves in the relationship. Minimizing the issues in the relationship, and then, when we finally realize that our trust really has been, well, um, shit on, we are emotionally too deep to not be devestated.This is a downer, and I am sorry. However, real solid relationships take time, effort, and trust. It also takes compromises that you are truly COMFORTABLE making. If there is something that truly bugs you, and you don't see a way to get over that, be honest with him, so that he can try and help fix the issue. Many men will tell you that if you don't come right out and tell it like it is to them, they will remain oblivious. Even if you have a problem with something that he's bringing into the relationship, if he knows that it IS an issue, hopefully, he can help heal it better.This doesn't mean that a relationship can't be had. But, realistically, EVERY relationship has it's issues. Harlequin Romance Novels don't do true relationships justice, and are not a realistic view of what it is to be with someone day in & day out.It all depends on the severity of the issue, the honesty between the couple, and if you both are willing to fully address it. Best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted January 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 I agree with tyger..... Both parties have to be completely committed to making the relationship work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted January 26, 2009 Author Review Team Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 I agree with tyger..... Both parties have to be completely committed to making the relationship work.So, if we have been completely open and honest about our challenges (which we have) and we are both committed to making it work one way or another (which we are) then with time and patience love will over-power the challenges?I have never met a man like this before and I can't believe how lucky I am to have him in my life. I just don't want to mess it up, which I am historically very good at doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted January 26, 2009 Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 So, if we have been completely open and honest about our challenges (which we have) and we are both committed to making it work one way or another (which we are) then with time and patience love will over-power the challenges?I have never met a man like this before and I can't believe how lucky I am to have him in my life. I just don't want to mess it up, which I am historically very good at doing.Darlin', it sounds like you're trying to get someone to say that, YES, this will definitely work out, no matter what. Well, honey, nobody can guarantee that a relationship will work out. Time & effort will be the only way to prove if this will work out.One guy I dated, only for a month though, that I fell for completely hard. I even admitted to him that my attraction to him scared the shit outta me. And that, although I had deep, strong feelings for, he had the power to really hurt me. And, for those that know me, know that's a HUGE confession for me. I did everything he wanted, when he wanted, and where. The sex wasn't spectacular for me, but, I knew, that, with time and training, he could do it. Then, he went back to his ex. I had NO clue that he was even speaking with her. I took the risk, and got my heart broken. I even lost 15 lbs in 7 days (depression and lack of eating will do that). But, now, looking back, I'm glad it happened. It made me stronger.So long as you have learned from your past mistakes, and try not to repeat them, that's really all you can do. Plus, each relationship is different. What irritated you about one man, may make a new man that much more endearing, and vice versa.There are no guarantees in life. You gotta take the risk to see if it's worth it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted January 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Aww my baby all done did grow'd up!!!Well love, as long as teh complications are he's "happily" married or in a relationship then your on a good start. That being said though my hopeless romantic heart is screaming "YES! Love can and will conquer all! <insert sappy love song here>" but my experience tells me other wise. It takes love "it's not always rainbows and butterflies/It's compromise that moves us along" (damn that Adam Levine from Maroon 5 is so gorgeous!) So as long as you work at your love (both of you) then yeah, you should be good to go! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members crossroads123 Posted January 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Sorry, I hate to be the stick in the mud, but love can't conquer all. I was in a relationship not long ago that proves that. Good luck to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted January 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Both of you being completely committed is huge. On the other hand, relationships should not be so hard right from the start. There shouldn't be so many obstacle to over come in the beginning. To me if this is the way it's starting, what is to come??? If there are all these road blocks to go through, think hard and long about what your getting into. Do you want your life to be an uphill battle everyday, that can be exhausting. Granted there are a lot more things in life to deal with as we get older but, in the beginnings of a relationship, things should be all roses and sweet. Does love conquer all? You tell us. You're the only one who can truly answer that question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted January 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 So, if we have been completely open and honest about our challenges (which we have) and we are both committed to making it work one way or another (which we are) then with time and patience love will over-power the challenges?I have never met a man like this before and I can't believe how lucky I am to have him in my life. I just don't want to mess it up, which I am historically very good at doing.I have to say, I agree w/ her too. I mean it all sounds good, "Love conquers all" but in reality sometimes there are circumstances that put up walls. (or highways...) In all honesty it depends on how much you both want to be together and if you are (both) willing to make compromises and sacrifices to do it. Where there's a will there's a way! ...but it has to be a strong determined will!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted January 26, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 26, 2009 Not trying to be the Mary Poppins here, but I think love can overcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted January 27, 2009 Members Report Share Posted January 27, 2009 If you both REALLY want to make it work you can....That doesn't mean it will all be perfect, happy ever after, with no ups and downs....that's totally unrealistic, but as long as the love and commitment is equally strong on both sides your chances are good. Just what obstacles are you facing? Children or a wife? Hope this works out for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted February 8, 2009 Author Review Team Report Share Posted February 8, 2009 Keeping fingers crossed - but it ain't looking so good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted February 8, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 8, 2009 Keeping fingers crossed - but it ain't looking so good. :unsFingers Crossed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted February 9, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 9, 2009 Keeping fingers crossed - but it ain't looking so good. :wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted February 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 Keeping fingers crossed - but it ain't looking so good. I hope that this works out for you---my fingers are crossed too. You asked about Love and whether it could conquer all.......I guess "Love" and "being in love" are different. Being "in love" always sounds like the beginning of a relationship to me. You know---- the head in the clouds, butterflies and heart pounding feeling. That "spark"that's there at first (and for VERY few---forever) But then, when the initial spark is gone what you're left withis what's really real. That's love. It's when you are so comfortable being with someone that you can reallybe yourself and they accept you just like that, the way you are. I guess the important thing is not to think you have to change who you are to please someone else. I don't know if the real statement should read "you conquer all" You have to love yourself first. You are a beautiful and special person and you deserve someone who can see that.Don't ever settle for second best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members raniedaize Posted February 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 I personally feel that love is the inevitable growth from the fertile soil of respect, and where there's respect, the endings are always good. If the exclusive relationship were to end between you two, if you truly respect each other, it wouldn't be tragic. You could even quite possibly still be great friends! Don't get me wrong though--my fingers are definitely crossed for you! Just be sure that what you consider love is not just lust and infatuation with a prettier name (people too often get them confused). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 How are thing going over there MsLayD? Do you have your answer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted February 10, 2009 Author Review Team Report Share Posted February 10, 2009 How are thing going over there MsLayD? Do you have your answer?Things are ... as I expected them to be, I guess.I think I do have my answer, but I am still hoping. He is the best man in the world, truly, but I have to put his needs above my wants. Sadly the two are not meshing right now and it is not looking like they will.But no worries! I do love him and I know he loves me, we just can't get over the obstacles ... at least not right now. But I am still very glad we had what we did, he showed me things I had never seen before and I am eternally grateful for that. So please, no condolences. I really am OK, but thanks for asking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 11, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 11, 2009 Things are ... as I expected them to be, I guess.I think I do have my answer, but I am still hoping. He is the best man in the world, truly, but I have to put his needs above my wants. Sadly the two are not meshing right now and it is not looking like they will.But no worries! I do love him and I know he loves me, we just can't get over the obstacles ... at least not right now. But I am still very glad we had what we did, he showed me things I had never seen before and I am eternally grateful for that. So please, no condolences. I really am OK, but thanks for asking. Good for you for knowing what will and will not work for you. Your ahead of the game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bluelotusparties Posted May 3, 2012 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2012 defiintely yes..“The course of true love never did run smooth.”- William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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