Members makasha1 Posted February 2, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 I was talking to someone and the question came up..."Is it better to be unhappy/unsatisfied alone or unhappy/unsatisfied within a relationship."Hope that makes sense.Your opinions? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted February 3, 2009 Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 You question does make sense.I think that this is a double-edged sword here.Being alone & unhappy/unsatisfied is one thing. You can do something to get out there and socialize. It's not a complicated situation. You get the excitement and thrill of a new relationship, which can be a lot of fun. But, you gotta put yourself out there to experience it.IN a relationship, if you are unsatisfied and unhappy, it can be JUST as lonely as NOT being in one. You have the benefit of being with someone you know, and hopefully trust. You have the regularity and comfort that comes with being with someone for a while. And, with open communication, things can get better, but only if you BOTH are trying to make it better.Either way, efforts have to be made, and the issues addressed.If you were to ask me whether or not I'd rather be alone and unhappy, or with someone and unhappy, I'd have to say alone. I can always fix/make my life better. After all, life's too short to stay with someone that doesn't help make you happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members synirr Posted February 3, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 How can either one be better? You're still unhappy either way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted February 3, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 How can either one be better? You're still unhappy either way.I agree with Syn, I'd rather be happy one way or teh other! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eminatic Posted February 3, 2009 Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 i believe it'd be easier to correct the situation if you were alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted February 3, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 i believe it'd be easier to correct the situation if you were alone.I am in agreement with you, Em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted February 3, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 i believe it'd be easier to correct the situation if you were alone.But would it be as worthwhile? I mean assume that when you were single you were content, but then you got in a relationship and everything was great but the started to come undone, wouldn't it be more worth while to fix a bad relationship? I know that as a generally depressed single person, I'd like to givea relationship a chance, ya know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members leslieanne Posted February 3, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 Having been in both situations (as I'm sure many of us have) - working to make it better is definately easier when there is only you to deal with. If a relationship starts to go bad I do think that in most cases (except when abuse is occuring) it's worth trying to work things out - get the relationship back on track. That said both people have to be willing to put forth the effort - it can not be one sided. If only one person is willing to work on making the relationship work it will ultimately fail in one way or the other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted February 3, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 I think, given only these two options, I would go with the being alone option for one basic reason: It would not be fair to the other person if in a relationship. I would feel even worse about bringing that person down. If I was truly unhappy, it would be obvious and that other person may or may not be the reason, but I just don't think it would be fair to them.I also agree it would be easier to work on whatever was causing the unhappiness if alone. I am the type of person to naturally put others ahead of myself and it would be hard for me to do what I needed to do for me while putting the other person first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members DADT Posted February 3, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 You question does make sense.I think that this is a double-edged sword here.Being alone & unhappy/unsatisfied is one thing. You can do something to get out there and socialize. It's not a complicated situation. You get the excitement and thrill of a new relationship, which can be a lot of fun. But, you gotta put yourself out there to experience it.IN a relationship, if you are unsatisfied and unhappy, it can be JUST as lonely as NOT being in one. You have the benefit of being with someone you know, and hopefully trust. You have the regularity and comfort that comes with being with someone for a while. And, with open communication, things can get better, but only if you BOTH are trying to make it better.Either way, efforts have to be made, and the issues addressed.If you were to ask me whether or not I'd rather be alone and unhappy, or with someone and unhappy, I'd have to say alone. I can always fix/make my life better. After all, life's too short to stay with someone that doesn't help make you happy.Absolutely. You get today's Nobel Prize. Hit the nail square on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ManofHerdreams Posted February 3, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 I am the type of person to naturally put others ahead of myself and it would be hard for me to do what I needed to do for me while putting the other person first.You've been peeking in my diary again haven't you???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted February 3, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 You've been peeking in my diary again haven't you????Not your diary ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted February 3, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 Being alone makes it easier to see who is at fault for the problem(s). I think people in unhappy relationships tend to use it like an excuse! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ohshelly Posted February 4, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 4, 2009 Being alone makes it easier to see who is at fault for the problem(s). I think people in unhappy relationships tend to use it like an excuse!So true Pappy, so true.My SO's Ex claimed he was the reason she was unhappy. She has been single for over a year, has everything she claimed she needed to be happy, and she is still a bitter, angry old harpy.The source of her unhappiness is inside of her. It was easier to blame him then look into herself.He and I are happy, and his children are happy.I finally have him convinced it was not him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members triedntru Posted February 6, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 Congrats on being able to convince him that it wasn't him. That is a long road to try and convince someone of. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted February 6, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 6, 2009 I would rather be alone then in an unhappy relationship, but thats just me. I mean, I was in a very unhappy relationship with my ex, and in the years we were together I completely lost who I was. I had changed over the years, and not for the better. Why pretend to appear to be happy with someone when your not? Why stay with someone just for the sake of not being alone? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 13, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 13, 2009 Shoot for the stars, you can have it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted February 13, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 13, 2009 I think we all find our happiness in different ways. Some define happiness by their own means, some by relationship fulfillment. Some relationships are toxic, and once the relationship is over, the person finds happiness. Some never do. It all starts with yourself. If you are not happy with yourself you need to find out why and work at changing it. I think it is better to be alone and unhappy and unsatisfied. If it's happening in a relationship without any work on changing what is making you feel that way, is a very sad thing. You will never be happy or fulfilled because it takes two to change a bad relationship. Alone you can work on what it is you want and actively work toward that goal and hopefully find someone that is a match for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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