Tyger Posted February 25, 2009 Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her babyin the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted thelady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticedthat there were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one. Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio , TX 2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderlyand slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big breaths,'I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient. Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA 3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife thather husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more thanfive minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family thathe had died of a 'massive internal fart.' Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with hiscardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having troublewith one of his medications. 'Which one?' I asked. 'The patch, thenurse told me to put on a new one every six hours, and now I'm runningout of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress, and discovered whatI hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!Now, the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying anew one. Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA.5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'Howlong have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion, sheanswered...'Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband wasalive.' Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis , OR 6. I was caring for a woman and asked, 'So, how's your breakfast thismorning?' 'It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seemto get used to the taste,' the patient replied. I then asked to see thejelly, and the woman produced a foil packet labelled 'KY Jelly.' Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI 7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman withpurple hair styled into a punk rocker mohawk, sporting a variety oftattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quicklydetermined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduledfor immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operatingtable, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, andabove it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the grass.' Once thesurgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient'sdressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.' Submitted by RN, no nameAND FINALLY!!!...8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quiteembarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover myembarrassment, I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burstout laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work andsheepishly said, 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?' She replied, 'Nodoctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I was an OscarMeyer Wiener.' Doctor wouldn't submit his name (Can't blame him!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lil_librarian Posted February 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 I burst out laughing and laughed until I was crying on Number 8!! lmfao! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted February 25, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 OMG those are too funny! Thanks for sharing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted February 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 1-7 ha me ROFLMAO but I may have peed a little on #8! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Shariana Posted February 25, 2009 Members Report Share Posted February 25, 2009 LOLI had a calendar of medical bloopers a few years ago! I love these! ^.^Number 8 is by far the best! =D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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