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Hubby Too Small?


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This is something that's been bothering me for quite some time now. I've been married to my husband for 6 years now. We've been together for 12. We rarely had sex before marriage and I always thought it was best to wait until we were married. I always anticipated an active sex life when we were married. The problem is, after six years of marriage, we still rarely have sex. I feel like I can never get "into the mood" for it. I have come to attribute this to the fact that I feel very little sensation from it. When erect, he's only about 3.5 inches (and that may be a stretch). Therefore, I'm wondering if he's not penetrating me deep enough. I've had to ask him before while having sex if he is sure he is in. To make matters worse, he will often climax after less than a minute.

I'm so perplexed as to what to do. Is 3.5 inches really below average in terms of erect size? He's the only man I've ever been with. After looking on several boards such as this and reading different things, I'm beginning to wonder if I should just try sex with someone on a "normal" size. Any suggestions on how to best hand and approach this situation? I have had orgasms before, but unfortunately, it's only when he's fingering me. He's never lasted long enough during sex for me to get to one. Please help.

Frustrated :/

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Ok honey, I will tell you the truth....3.5 inches erect is lower than average. The average erect penis, according to major studies (I actually quoted the research on this forum about a month ago) is 5.5 inches.

Now, does that mean that your sex life is doomed? NO! There are options you can take, and I will tell you what some of them are!

First, FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY, FOREPLAY! Many women, including myself, enjoy foreplay IMMENSELY! Oral sex can be a wonderful addition to - and replacement for (if your hubby has erectile dysfunction for example) standard intercourse! Oral sex, when done correctly, can deliver more intense orgasms than standard, vaginal intercourse! In fact, many women will only orgasm during oral, and not during vaginal sex.

You can incorporate sex toys into your foreplay, although this might not be the best way to begin this. Your hubby is undoubtedl aware of his shortcomings in the penis department - men KNOW these things about themselves - and he probably wouldn't immediately be open to a sex toy - but you can definitely try.

Now, 2 of the best ideas I can give you besides stepping up the foreplay are these:

Penis pumps: Penis pumps (the high end ones like Dr. Joel Kaplans) are proven to add some length and girth to a penis with continued use. I wouldn't have believed it, but I have known now 2 men who have used pumps and gotten results of more than an inch. So, if your hubby is willing, a good penis pump might be an excellent way to boost his self esteem, and get him to a "larger size" that will benefit both of you.

Penis extenders: My hubby and I tested one of these penis extenders just for kicks, and I must say it was a lot of fun. My hubby is over average in size, but the extender added 3 more inches! They "hug" the penis and are pleasurable for the man, and they feel natural for the woman. I think extenders definitely have their purpose.

It must sound to you like I think obtaining more length is the only way to go here...it isn't. Howard is right, the most sensive part of a woman's vagina is the first 2 inches - HOWEVER, the G-Spot is further up, and if he is not getting there, then you are missing some of the best sensations. Also, your man is more affected by his size than you are. You have nothing to compare it to, and if you love your hubby then you don't need to find out what another penis feels like. You can get a toy to have that experience.

My sugggestion, similiar to Howard, is to talk about this in a nuetral space. Try to get your hubby to open up. Find a solution to your situation that offers both of you pleasurable sex. You have a hubby with a smaller penis - you can work with it - many, many women do it every day and are very happy, but if his self esteem is preventing him from wanting sex, and thereby you are not wanting sex, that is the bigger problem than the size of his penis!

Talk to him, then go from there!

Mikayla ;)

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You may have misunderstood me. He isn't hesitant about having sex with me. He'd have sex everyday if I wanted to. It's me who seems to have the problem. I just can't get in the mood to have it with him all that often. He's complained to me about it many times in the past and I just don't know what to say. I feel that I just don't get much sensation from it. I also am not to fond of having someone perform oral on me (just seems gross). Please help. Should I try someone else?

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OK, so this is the second time you have mentioned "trying someone else." Which indicates to me that you must not love your hubby! If you did, you would try to find ways to make sex with him enjoyable and fullfilling! Listen hon, the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence! Having a larger penis might be more satisfying, but the guy attached to it might be more of a dick than his cock is worth!

First, why are you not interested in oral sex? Oral sex is natural, healthy - not gross or dirty! It is definitely a must do for you! Give it a try, it should be extremely satisfying for both of you.

As far as the sex, I have given you ideas, suggestions...if you don't want your hb anymore, then you don't. Be honest with yourself, be honest with him, and think about moving on. That is about all you can do with that. IF you are not willing to at least try to make it work, then why are you asking us for help? We gave you suggestions, now you can either try to fix your sex life, try to rev it up again. If you are looking for someone to tell you it is OK to go to someone else for a "try" you are not going to get it from me.

My suggestion is to try and revive your sex life. Try new foreplay, try the suggestions I gave you (extenders and penis pump) try sex toys, more oral sex. Get out of the mindset that you are unfullfilled and try doing things that make you fullfilled. That is the best advice I can offer yoU!


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Hon, I feeeeel for you!!! My ex husband was littler than I was use to (6 inches erect), but he really didn't do anything for me. He didn't know HOW to use the "Snail with the helmet"!! LOL

To agree with Mikala, your hubby is lower than average in size, but like the old saying goes: "it's not he size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean"!!

And I am sure that he is VERY aware that he is smaller than average. But, if you discuss other options, slowly, gently (a male's ego is a fragile thing). There are options out there for both of you to try. Penis extenders, clit stimulators, vibrators for solo or used together are very helpful and FUN!! And this site's SHOPPING area can give you some great ideas!! Look at the reviews and check it out.

I'm not sure how old you are, but oral sex is NOT gross. Even animals do it!! It's a very pleasurable way to enjoy sex with your partner. It's natural, and most men (all that I have found in fact) LIKE the taste of a woman. :) Every female has a certian "odor" down there, that is natural. Unless you have some sort of infection, this odor is normal. If you feel very self conscious, shower first before intercourse, use some feminine cleansers. Maybe that will help your "genital self-esteem".

If you're thinking of going elsewhere for sex, maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship. If your husband doesn't turn you on for some reason, then you need to figure out why. Is it him? Does HE disgust you? Do you not care for him anymore (as in IN LOVE with him?). Some people outgrow each other.

If he doesn't disgust you, and you KNOW you're still in love with him, maybe a counselor (marriage) would be a good thing for you.

Or, if you and your husband can "handle" it, trying an open-marriage. This can only be achieved by a VERY secure couple, and should not be entered into lightly. Self-esteem, trust, and most importantly, SAFE SEX needs to be addressed in situations such as that. And BOTH partners need to be agreeable to it.

Have you EVER had an orgasm? If not, then you need to teach yourself how to do so. With a woman, we have our wires too complicated at times. We need to be aroused in the mind, not just the body. And that comes with relaxing, and learning what turns you on.

I hope that this has been helpful in any way for you.

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12 years together, wow, thats quite an acomplishment, congratulations.

You say you have never been with anyone else except him, yet you have to ask if he is in, for some reason your PC musles are stretched,

have you had children with him?

If the answer is yes, think long and hard about this, what are you going to tell your child(ren)? that daddys dick wasnt big enough for you so you left to find a better piece of ass?

are you fully prepared for the ramifications, 1 yr, 5 yrs even 30 yrs down the road?

Since this is a major issue for you, regardless of what your advised to do here, your gonna do what you want to do anyways.

I will tell you, start packing your bags, cause the minute you are caught in someone elses bed, your going to need to find a place to stay because you will lose your home.

Some of your mutual friends will no longer speak to you, and will instead whiper amongst each other and call you dirty nasty names that are "gross" names like "whore" and "Slut" and "Bitch" and a few other colorful names you will feel you dont deserve.

make sure your new lover isnt married or have kids, no reason to destroy 2 relationships now is there?

if he has kids, be prepared to take on a second job, cause most states will garnish your wages as well as his to pay child support.

besides, youll need the second job to pay the lawyer for your divorce and or custody/child support case as well.

While your reading up on penis sizes, also read up on STDs and testing and treatments, youll want this info, cause ya never know how many women the new guy has been with or how many guys for that matter.

Am I harsh or bitter?


This is simply a reality check

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  • 12 years later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...
On 10/20/2018 at 8:11 PM, iluvladybutt said:

Sad reality of life, Little tits suck, little dicks suck! Thats just how a lot of people feel.

It's sad, and true, unfortunately.

Women and men can't help the size of their assets, however, some can surgically enhance what they have......

I always loved the saying "It's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean".

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  • 3 years later...
  • Members

Honeybee honest with him and tell him to start wearing your dirty panties every day after work and to please your pussy with fingers and young and toys and when you cum you can rub his lil peepee and make him cuminhis new dirty panties 

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