Credit Score Dating

[sass]

I am not sure why, but I found this very interesting when it was reported on the morning news. Thoughts? Did you consider their financial situation when you started dating your SO? If you are single, do you consider these things now?

A recent survey shows more than 80% of singles are being more selective because they don't want to get involved with someone who needs their own bailout.

In addition to their own tight finances, many worry about a potential date's money troubles. For many, one's credit score is a touchy subject. But it's all legitimate at Credit Score Dating, where singles can weed out low-credit score holders from their prospective dating list. 84% of singles admitted in a Match.com survey they are at least more selective about who they date in a down economy.

And online dating web sites are reporting a surge in business, because many singles say it's cheaper to find a date online then heading out to the bar and restaurant scene.

[ladylove]

I do understand the practicality of it but hmmmmm.......

I guess marriage is turning into more of a business like everything else.

[ladylove]

Yup. Money is like sex; it's only really important when there is not enough of it. Taking on someone's (unreasonable) debt is a relationship killer.

When my husband and i were first married we both had debt from school. Do you think This is only for a more mature dater. Sound like it to me.

[pappyld04]

If the person has no self control I wouldn't date them. But looking at their income or credit is straight up gold-digger bullshit!

[Guest eminatic]

well student loans today are VERY different from the way they were a few years ago...and can lead to serious trouble. the problem is...if you are carrying bad credit you cannot marry, or it will transfer to your spouse as well. its kind of sad but those who are in really bad debt can never marry.

if you're interested you could try reading some of the horror stories on www.studentloanjustice.org

[sun_flower969]

It makes me think about the freecreditreport.com jingle

Well I married my dream girl,

married my dream girl,

but she didn't tell me that her credit was bad...

so now instead of living in a pleasant suburb

we're living in the basement with her mom and dad..."

haha

[square]

. . . Thoughts? Did you consider their financial situation when you started dating your SO? If you are single, do you consider these things now? . . .

I did not consider these things. My wife-to-be was 10 years younger, not long out of High School, min wage job, living with her brother and mother in an appartment. I had a steady job, made what I thought was OK dough, always had money for what I wanted (though I didn't go squandering it away like a knucklehead). When we were nearing getting married and wifey's boss was being a jerk, I told her to just quit; felt like my paycheck was more than enough.

A few years later, married, 3 kids, mortgage, live-in mother-in-law, wife not always as thrifty as she coulda been, I felt a bit like a pauper.

Wouldn't necessarily do things much differently if I had to do it over again, other than maybe try to plan ahead better and try to do better at getting on the same page with wife as far as priorities. But if I were to become single again now for whatever reason, I would be reluctant to get re-married, in part cuz I don't want to get sucked into some other person's financial black hole. But I would not do any credit rating checks on a girl friend.

(In reality, I don't think divorce is too likely, so the wife would have to croak for me to become single again, and if that happened, I'd be too busy and broke raising the kids to have any time or money left for dating.)

[mystofpric]

well student loans today are VERY different from the way they were a few years ago...and can lead to serious trouble. the problem is...if you are carrying bad credit you cannot marry, or it will transfer to your spouse as well. its kind of sad but those who are in really bad debt can never marry.

if you're interested you could try reading some of the horror stories on www.studentloanjustice.org

Ya can't say they can NEVER marry. Because it's one thing to have been irresponible and are working to fix your credit (like myself) and be honest about your money history (I wouldn't bringit up on a first date but before the wedding day definitely) and to just ignore the bills and let them pile up, that always comes back to haunt you. No for any one to say that there in love with some one and find out their credit sucks and call off a wedding over it is just wrong and clearly not in love. Any one can marry, good, bad, or no credit.

Student loans are also NOT an bad thing, in fact a very good thing. And they have EVERY right to go after you the way they do. Often times after 4 years of college people have racked up close to a 100 grand in debt so yeah I think they are right to go after people the way they do. Plus, i'm willing to bet if you have a degree your not likely to be working minimum wage. With student loans it is always wise to pay something towards it while in school, that way your paying the principal down and not worrying about interest. This I learned the hard way.

[Guest eminatic]

the problem is, they start harassing you for money BEFORE you graduate. and expect you to start making payments THE DAY AFTER YOU GRADUATE. also they figure your payments based on what you SHOULD statistically be making for the degree you have and many times do not take cost of living expenses into consideration. most people dont make the maximum income bracket for their field fresh out of college (or can even find employment at all for that matter). this is where so many people begin to slip. on top of that once you start to slip the loan companies will then suspend all your licenses so you cannot be employed in your profession.

its not always because the students were lazy/irresponsible and let their bills stack up.

and i think that substantial debt is a pretty good reason to call off a wedding and has nothing to do with love. not being able to buy a house, having BOTH spouses getting their tax refunds withheld/wage garnishment etc. student loan debt is no joke, you cannot declare bankruptcy on it, and you cannot walk away from it, EVER. dragging someone else down for the ride in the name of "love" seems like a pretty poor excuse.

i'm not saying that having some debt is not normal or that its a death sentence, but those that have uncontrollable debt will probably never marry unless they can get it under control (or find someone wealthy who is willing to pay for them)

[Shariana]

My SO made it VERY clear that he had good credit when we started dating.... in the same way I made it crystal that I have $40k in student loans and that figure is still growing.

His reaction: "well, you win some you lose some."

I should be making enough in my first year after college to pay it off completely, if I live at home with family and no expenses or am living off my SO's paycheck (at that point, probably my husband's) entirely.

[sass]

the problem is, they start harassing you for money BEFORE you graduate. and expect you to start making payments THE DAY AFTER YOU GRADUATE. also they figure your payments based on what you SHOULD be making for the degree you have and many times do not take cost of living expenses into consideration. ...

Wow, Em, sounds like you and whoever else this happened to got some bum loans. I have student loans and I never heard a word from the lenders until months after I was out of school. My first payment was not due until I had been out for 6 months and they allowed me to chose the payment plan that worked best for me (same amounts for the duration of the loan or less at the beginning and higher later.) I assumed all were this way.

I don't think student loans should count when looking at "credit score dating" - that is just wrong to me. Think about doctors and lawyers - how much they could have in loans - yet you are not going to date a doctor because he/she is just out of school and had some debt? Me thinks not.

I do think it is a good idea to at least know what kind of debt the other person has before you get into a relationship. My SO and I had this talk. Due to medical problems and some other issues, I have more debt right now than I would like. I also have a great job and had good enough credit to buy my house two years ago with no money down, no closing costs, no mortgage insurance and got a great interest rate.

So, I think it is important to be open and honest about these things but also realistic and look at the whole picture.

[Guest eminatic]

Wow, Em, sounds like you and whoever else this happened to got some bum loans. I have student loans and I never heard a word from the lenders until months after I was out of school. My first payment was not due until I had been out for 6 months and they allowed me to chose the payment plan that worked best for me (same amounts for the duration of the loan or less at the beginning and higher later.) I assumed all were this way.

yes they were this way, however they are no longer this way. i think federal loans might still operate this way, but private loans do not. the problem is that there is a cap on the amount you can get through a federal loan which has not been changed for over a decade, while the cost of education has gone up almost exponentially. thus most people are forced to seek private loans.

[sass]

yes they were this way, however they are no longer this way. i think federal loans might still operate this way, but private loans do not. the problem is that there is a cap on the amount you can get through a federal loan which has not been changed for over a decade, while the cost of education has gone up almost exponentially. thus most people are forced to seek private loans.

Wow. That stinks! I admit my student loans are not very high but they were recent, at least the ones I am paying on now. I just started paying on them last year but they are under $10,000 so I guess maybe that is the difference.

I don't know why it seems the system tries to make it harder and harder on people who are trying to get an education. There was a story on the news last week that the state university system here may not raise tuition this year. If they don't, they said, it would be the first year in over a decade that they didn't.

[Guest eminatic]

things took a drastic turn around 1998. to make matters even more confusing, private loans are offered through the same companies that provide the federal loans, so alot of students THINK they are getting a federally backed loan when they really arent. private loans do not have a fixed interest rate the way federal loans do. to make matters even more confusing, student loans are not legally required to provide the full terms or the total cost up front before you sign for it.

also loan companies will often bribe colleges to be included on their list of "preferred lenders" and even try to make themselves appear to be part of the school's financial aid offices.

i thought that this issue would surface when everyone started freaking out about predatory lending on homes but it still remains fairly obscure. o_O

[Tyger]

I think that this idea is a double-edged sword.

Where it's great that you think ahead about your SO having debt, at the same time, there are sometimes things that either really couldn't be helped (like loosing a job, getting a divorce and getting stuck with bills). There are some things that companies put on your credit reports that have been taken care of, paid off, and it's sheer HELL getting them off!

I had to go thru that. I lost my job (it was a GREAT paying job too), due to company restructuring. Bills piled up. I had a bill paid off thru a credit collection agency, and I paid it off in full, and still, the original bill from the original company had it on my report. After 6 mos of calling, verifying, coordinating with the collection agency (they were very willing to help me out, shockingly enough), the orignal bill was changed to PAID. I don't think something like that should be held against me as a person.

Now, if you see a bunch of credit cards that haven't been paid off, or attempted to be, then that should be a red flag. But, if you insist on seeing someone's credit report, you should also be willing to hear any explinations as to WHY their reports are so bad too.

[mystofpric]

yes they were this way, however they are no longer this way. i think federal loans might still operate this way, but private loans do not. the problem is that there is a cap on the amount you can get through a federal loan which has not been changed for over a decade, while the cost of education has gone up almost exponentially. thus most people are forced to seek private loans.

This is actually not true unless this changed in the past 6 months as I have friends who are in school and are getting loans and I did check. Fedreal and state loans give you 6 months grace time after graduate. They also have graduated payment plans (pay less now and more later as your likely to make more money after having been out in the workforce longer) or a flat rate plan. Private loans have varying repayment plans and are bank specific.

[Guest eminatic]

well yes, i also have several family members and friends that have student loans. a few of those family members have not even graduated yet and receive calls almost on a daily basis from the collectors asking did you get a job yet? when are you going to start paying? you should hurry up and find a job etc.

yes, when you first sign for the loan they say you will have a grace period etc. but since they are not obligated to actually disclose the full terms of the loan to you and the terms are subject to change, when you actually get to graduation/near graduation its a different story...

[EDIT] let me just clarify that the problem is strictly with private loans, and when i say "loans" i am referring to private loans only. as far as i'm concerned, the only problem with federal loans is the fact that the cap they are set at usually isn't enough to get through school