Did Anyone See?

[angelkisses98]

I was watching Oprah last week, and she had on Laura Bergman on, doing a segment on talking to your kids about sex. She basically said we should have the basic talk with your kids around 9 and then another major talk at 12 and another at 14. They had a segment where Dr. Bergman did a group session with a bunch of girls grades 6-8th, and even I was shocked at some of the things that came out of their mouth.

She also freaked out the entire audience when she said mothers should introduce their daughters to a bullet as young as 16!! Yes, thats right, a bullet. She basically said to teach your daughters to embrace their sexuality and how to take control of it. That instead of being with a boy, and having those feelings, and letting a boy satisfy those needs, that she can come home, and satisfy her own needs. It made perfect sense to me...but most of the women in the audience were like oh no, not my daughter...

So I was just wondering about your reactions to this??

[Guest eminatic]

16 does not seem at all young to be introduced to a bullet. far too many girls start having sex way before that so i don't really think theres anything wrong with being taught to learn about their own bodies and not to be ashamed of it...in fact that seems a little old to start the process...

[triedntru]

Hmmm, never thought about that aspect. Guess I had my rose colored glasses on that "not my daughter" yeah right, I know, not realistic. What would a realistic age be and how in the world would you start that conversation? Ummm, honey, we need to talk.....

[angelkisses98]

In today's world? Sadly the sooner the better. My son came home about a year ago, and asked what a blow job was!? I was floored. Opened the door right up to start the convo. He had just turned 11 at the time

[Mikayla1]

I think Dr. Berman is SPOT ON! I mean, I wish I had those options as a young, horny girl instead of the vacuum cleaner, the toothbrush and hairbrush handles!

I think that she was right on when she said that INFORMATION is NOT PERMISSION! Kids these days can get information from the internet, friends, TV - it is alllll out there, and much of it is wrong, and what is right on is shocking.

I am not sure about you, but as a parent, I want and need my children to feel comfortable enough to come to me with questions (and who better, his Mom the sex educator!) and feel that he can ask me for help, but still have privacy. I would want my little girl to be prepared about what her body is going through, and what she can do to help herself out.

As for my sons, I have already had the masturbation talk with my 7 year old (yes, I had it) and explained about erections and why it feels good to touch it. We had the talk about doing it in private and such. That is enough for now, he knows it is 'normal' and that it is OK. He gets his private time, and that is good for him.

I think that parents who don't feel comfortable talking to their young children about sex will end up regretting it later in life. I think that it is most important to have open communication and not make it seem like sex is wrong, dirty or that it is wrong to have 'good' feelings about their bodies and the touch/sensations.

I am totally in agreement, and think it is a great show for parents to watch!

[angelkisses98]

I wish my mother was as open about sex as i hope to be with my son. He has to learn about it somewhere, I would rather him hear it from us, where he gets the RIGHT information. My son has already gone to my husband and asked him a few questions..which my husband did not let me in on..said it was between "us" guys , but I am glad my son feels comfortable enough with my husband to ask questions.

My sex talk was "if I find out your having sex i'm gonna kick your ass" gee great, thanks mom. I don't remember how old I was...but I remember finding my first hair "down there" and I was WOHOOO FINALLY!! So, I was checking it out and my mom walked in and fah-reaked!! Went on this whole tangent about how touching yourself and playing with your self was dirty and gross and blah blah blah...So guess what? I found myself pregnant at 18 because I felt I could not go to my mom with any questions at all. I wanted to go on birth control, but was to afraid to ask my mom, because I knew she would freak.

[sass]

I agree that it is important to not act like sex or sexual organs are wrong or dirty. The other night we were having bad storms in the area. SO's daughter was scared to the point of having tears. The TV weather guy put up a 3D display of wind sheer or something, and it looked like a penis was growing out of a nearby county. So, yup, I said it - that there was a storm penis in whatever county. SO gasped. The kids laughed. He looked at me and told me to stop, that the last thing he needed was the ex hearing that I was talking about penises. I told him, in front of the kids, that a penis is a penis and there is nothing wrong or dirty about it and if the ex didn't know that, she could call me and I would gladly explain that to her. I know, I know, respect the ex, but I was not going to suddenly act like I had said something wrong, because I hadn't.

How young is too young to have sex talks? I don't know, but I remember years ago, decades ago, when I was in fifth grade, us kids were talking about sex and listening to those who "knew" more than the rest of us. I seriously doubt that has changed much, unless it happens earlier now.

[angelkisses98]

I agree that it is important to not act like sex or sexual organs are wrong or dirty. The other night we were having bad storms in the area. SO's daughter was scared to the point of having tears. The TV weather guy put up a 3D display of wind sheer or something, and it looked like a penis was growing out of a nearby county. So, yup, I said it - that there was a storm penis in whatever county. SO gasped. The kids laughed. He looked at me and told me to stop, that the last thing he needed was the ex hearing that I was talking about penises. I told him, in front of the kids, that a penis is a penis and there is nothing wrong or dirty about it and if the ex didn't know that, she could call me and I would gladly explain that to her. I know, I know, respect the ex, but I was not going to suddenly act like I had said something wrong, because I hadn't.

How young is too young to have sex talks? I don't know, but I remember years ago, decades ago, when I was in fifth grade, us kids were talking about sex and listening to those who "knew" more than the rest of us. I seriously doubt that has changed much, unless it happens earlier now.

OH, unfortunately things have gotten a lot worse. My son is in 6th grade, and told me that some girl was giving a boy a blow job in the bathroom the other day! He knows what sexting is(dirty text messages, and sending pics of there body parts to each other ect). and yes, there are kids in his school that does it...So, unfortunately as parents these days, we need to start way early with talking about sex..and respecting your bodies and others. It's damn scary.

[ladylove]

I think Dr. Berman is SPOT ON! I mean, I wish I had those options as a young, horny girl instead of the vacuum cleaner, the toothbrush and hairbrush handles!

I think that she was right on when she said that INFORMATION is NOT PERMISSION! Kids these days can get information from the internet, friends, TV - it is alllll out there, and much of it is wrong, and what is right on is shocking.

I am not sure about you, but as a parent, I want and need my children to feel comfortable enough to come to me with questions (and who better, his Mom the sex educator!) and feel that he can ask me for help, but still have privacy. I would want my little girl to be prepared about what her body is going through, and what she can do to help herself out.

As for my sons, I have already had the masturbation talk with my 7 year old (yes, I had it) and explained about erections and why it feels good to touch it. We had the talk about doing it in private and such. That is enough for now, he knows it is 'normal' and that it is OK. He gets his private time, and that is good for him.

I think that parents who don't feel comfortable talking to their young children about sex will end up regretting it later in life. I think that it is most important to have open communication and not make it seem like sex is wrong, dirty or that it is wrong to have 'good' feelings about their bodies and the touch/sensations.

I am totally in agreement, and think it is a great show for parents to watch!

I think I'm very open about sexuality with all my children. However, I disagree with Dr. Berman this time. I think it is important for young adults (that includes 16-17 yr olds) to explore there bodies without the aid of a toy. I think it's important for them to know themselves and what is manually pleasurable so they can be more self-proactive in a relationship. I don't think a sex-toy is going to make any difference in whether a kid has sex or not. However I think feeling free to please yourself or not may.

[littlemissnonamegirl]

My sex talk was "if I find out your having sex i'm gonna kick your ass" gee great, thanks mom. I don't remember how old I was...but I remember finding my first hair "down there" and I was WOHOOO FINALLY!! So, I was checking it out and my mom walked in and fah-reaked!! Went on this whole tangent about how touching yourself and playing with your self was dirty and gross and blah blah blah...So guess what?

Angel, that was my mother too.

I haven't had sex yet, and I feel like even though thanks to this site and other educational classes I found,

I would HAVE NEVER known it was okay if I didn't search the info out myself. My parents taught me nothing, I mean zip.

I never knew it was okay to masturbate and explore my body till a year or so ago. it was always don't ask and don't tell or else. It's sad that it had to be like that, if I ever have kids at all I want them to be able to have open discussions without any negativity and let them know it's okay to ask questions. better than not at all or getting it from elsewhere.

I know I will never forgive my parents for that, there's no excuse for no sex talk.

[blueberry]

If at 16 I knew that masturbating and exploring my own body was okay - it would spare me a lot of guilty feelings. My mother never had any kind of "sex talk" with me and I never felt free to ask anything cause I thought I would sound dirty and perverse. I think a candid and positive talk about sexuality is something all parents need to go through with their kids - and looks like nowdays it should be a lot sooner than the kid's 16th birthday...

[Shariana]

I never really had a sex talk with my parents. When I was very little, I would rub on my pillows and stuffed animals. Mom knew about that and said as long as I kept my undies on and kept things out of it (for sanitary reasons), it was ok.

I like that doctor's ideas though. I just told my SO about it and he said "I'll let you take care of any girls we have, hun. I won't be the one to hand her a vibrator and tell her to go to town!" LOL

However, he agreed that it was a good idea. He also said that if he found his kids looking at porn he wouldn't be too concerned, depending on the age and if it was something a little too grotesque for their age, of course.... But if he did find something in their room or on their computer, he would take the time to talk to them explaining that not all women (or even men) look that way and not to hold people they date to that standard.

Great find!

[Guest eminatic]

i never even knew there was a such thing as female masturbation until i was 18. i remember trying it once or twice but i had no idea what i was looking for and got bored because i wasn't feeling anything.