Members swimma Posted July 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 Hey everyone!Kinda new to this site but it seems to have a lot of knowledge people on it so hopefully I can get some advice...My wife is about 18 weeks pregnant and hasn't been in the mood since she got pregnant, I was wondering if this is normal and if there is a time when she is likely to be in the mood because I've heard that pregnant sex can be awesome for some women...I was also wondering if there is a way to approach this without seeming insensitive or pushy, or if I should just let her come to me when the mood strikes? Any advice would be great!Thanks!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted July 10, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 10, 2009 First of all welcome on congrats!! Pregnancy hormones are CRAZY!! They are all over the place right now, plus add that to the morning sickness, tiredness, her body is changing she is not sure what to think. She will come around. Talk to her about how you are feeling and your concerns outside of the bed room. Take things slow. She could also be afraid of harming the baby as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie butterfly_coy Posted July 11, 2009 Newbie Report Share Posted July 11, 2009 Well again congrats. When i was pregnant with my first, i was a bit scared of fooling around. When we got over that 3rd month hump and my morning sickness went away. I was all over my hubby. So maybe there is somethin for you to look forward to. And not only did my sex drive come back, but it came back with a vengence after i delivered my son. We are told to wait 6 weeks to give your body a chance to heal. Well my son was exactly 6 weeks old when i found out we were expecting again. So! heres hoping that your wifes drive comes back full force during this pregnancy!! and be careful after delivery!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members leslieanne Posted July 12, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2009 Swimma - there can be a multitude of reasons why she has backed off from having sex. As indicated the changing hormones cause some womens sex drive to decrease, whereas for others it increases in the second and third trimester. Many times women have been told that it's bad to have sex during pregancy as it can "hurt the baby", for others the whole reason to have sex is to get pregnant and once they are there is no longer to have sex from their perspective.As suggested talk with her about it outside the bedroom. I would suggest not approaching it from the "I need this so what's up" or "What's wrong, why don't you want sex"......I can almost guarantee that both will irritate her. Asking her how she's feeling about being pregnant, about the prospect of being a mom, if there's anything she needs from you that she's not getting will put the conversation in the "I love you, want to understand what you are experiencing, want to be there for you".Also do you go to her doctor appointments with her? If not I would suggest you do. Questions regarding sex during pregancy are commonly asked and any OB/GYN should be able and willing to discuss the issue. Again rather then asking "is sex ok" a question such as "Can anything happen to the baby if we have intercourse - what about oral sex or masterbation?" This way you are asking about the various ways to have sex, not focusing only on one and directing the focus not her willingness or unwillingness, but directing the focus on how the pregnancy may or may not be affected. If she has had anyone close (family member, friend) that has recently miscarried or had preterm labor or delivery she will most likely have a fair amount of anxiety that sex might cause the same problem for her. Again - asking her if she is concerned about anything with respect to the pregnancy is a good way to get at this type of information. If she has experienced a miscarriage this can often create a high level of anxiety about the potential that sex will cause it to occur again. Whatever you do, please don't get angry with her - the prospect of becoming a mom is for many women overwhelming and it takes a fair amount of time to adjust. Also she will start feeling movement soon if she hasn't already and the ability to feel the baby move often decreases a woman's anxiety since she has an easy way of reassuring herself that the baby is ok.hope this helps you talk with her about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted July 12, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 12, 2009 Hey there! I wrote an article on this (find in Sex Ed articles and tips section) and explained hormonal issues, emotional changes, etc. Also are some tips on how to make her more relaxed about it, how to approach it, etc. Congratulations!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members swimma Posted July 13, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted July 13, 2009 Thanks for all the good advice, I would never pressure her into anything...I've never been a pushy person and I hope it didn't come off that way in my original post...I was just curious about this and you all have been very helpful. I certainly don't want to put any pressure on her, that is why I hadn't brought it up at all, I want her to feel totally comfortable and I want what is best for our baby, I could care less about my needs!!! I thank you all for the helpful information and as soon as we find out the sex of the baby, I will let you know! Thanks again and any other tips on how to keep her happy and make things easier would be greatly appercaited! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted July 14, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2009 HI Swimma welcome to TT. On a personal note: I have had been pregnant 3 times and have had 3 children. What I can tell you is there are definite times of insatiability and others not. The first time I was pregnant and started showing, it was hard emotionally. As a thin women who all of a sudden wasn't thin anymore, I felt unsexy an unappealing and just plain fat and ugly. I couldn't understand how my husband could even want to be with me. What I found out is he thought I was more beautiful and even sexier than ever. For the most part, I just needed to know he thought I was still sexy etc....FYI - her hormones are in an uproar, so she may be completely unpredictable sexually and otherwise... enjoy the ride, it's a wonderful time in life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members kjellis Posted July 20, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 20, 2009 As a father of 2, the thing that I would stress is patience for the first little whileIf your wife has morning sickness that isn't going to put her in the mood. As well, my wife said she was WAY more tired all the time during the first trimester. Then as she adjusted to hormone levels it got better and her sex drive increased.Pregnant sex is awsome! No worries over birth control! As well my wife said her orgasims were a little more intense. Some women that aren't that large in the bust rather enjoy their larger breasts.Another good thing about pregnant sex is as the baby bump gets bigger, it forces the 2 of you to be a little more creative in finding new positions which is always fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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