loliiita

Haha we tried role play once did not go too well. He got a bit too involved in his character. We try to play college student/teacher and he sgot upset I did not do my homework lol. We laughed about it but not sure it is the best course to let him take the lead. I do read stories but have not have shared ot with him. I think that could be cool to try.

We do talk about it quite a bit. I think he is a bit tired of it to be honest. How about certain actions I could take to show him I want him to lead?

Hi everyone, I have been married for several years and have vaginismus (involuntary contracting of the vaginal muscles). This is something that I have had since the beginning of my sex life. It has very much improved but there is still ways to go. I have been thinking about it a lot lately as my libido has been WAY up (uncomfortably up...). My husband and I do have intercourse but no orgasms for me yet, so it really does help take the edge off. We are on a weird place in our marriage and I am trying to find ways to improve our relationship and our sex life. Because of my condition I had to take the lead about everything: when we do it, how we do it, what we do, etc... Over the years, I feel like I involuntarily "tamed" my husband. He does not take any more initiatives. He used to be very passionate and very much into giving me the most pleasure possible. Now that sex is back on the table (we couldn't for a while because the vaginismus made it impossible during my depression) I would like to start having him take the lead. Anyways, how would a woman start to be a bit more submissive ? I do think that if I learn to let him take the lead it will help with the vaginismus and would result in more pleasure for me. But I have no clue how to do that. Any ideas?

I would not think of it as an addiction but it gets me wild to see my cum all over my partners beard. I like smelling myself on him. I particularly like when he enjoys it. On the other side, if a man ever tried to "wipe" if off it would completely turn me off... I guess there is a cavewoman in me lol.

@BrendenB we are going to start couples therapy soon. I am hoping that we will be able to discuss this topic more openly. What is FWB? Sorry english is not my first language so I do not know all abbreviations.

@all the time this is something we actually used to do. I will see if is up for it again

I always thought it did not matter but I am more and more convinced that it is easier to be with someone that has a similar bodycount as you. It is a matter of understanding each other. For example, my husband have a bodycount of about 30 and me just one ! Lol When I tell him I need to feel connected in order to have sex he does not seem to understand what I mean. For him sex is just sex.

So here is my first post... I am not sure I am in the right section as I just discovered this site. I have been married for 6 years. My husband and I have a pretty good relationship in general. When we moved in together I got very depressed for about 2 years and he was very supportive. He did everything I asked him to do and more. I love him very much and I want our marriage to succeed. Now because of my depression, sex has been impossible for a couple of years. I had vaginismus (penetration was impossible). I went to physical therapy and now we can have sex. I have a long history with vaginismus. I couod not have sex for 9 years and then I met my husband and he was able to give me my first time. I have never been able to be fingered though. Now that we are able to have sex, and we seem to have reconnected I cannot stop thinking about it. I fell like I am sex crazed lol. Compare to before, I am not able to really have an orgasm. I think my husband is a bit tired of this situation and whenever I am trying to get anything but the bare minimum I get push back. Examples: 1. Try to start sexting (so we keep my libido alive) and he straight give me a critique of last time we were intimate. When i tell him this is not what I was looking for. That I was trying to get us good to go for when he came home and he said "I do not need this I am always good to go". I have been tryin g to tell him I need it for the future so my libido does not go down but did not seem to hear it. 2. When talking about going down on me. He keeps saying that I do not like it. Even though I do. His point: I do not like having is tongue penetrate me. Well big surprise, yes I do not enjoy it but I do like the licking. I tried to talked about it but he is not pleased with the fact I just like it my way not the way he likes to do it. 3. When we have intercourse, i feel like it is more about his pleasure than mine. I feel like he accepted that it was going to be painful for me so he does let me have the lead until I am ok but after that I guess it is just too much work to make me cum. It did not used to be like this. We had a lot of fun together. The most fun I ever had. But now it is just so much work for me. My libido is high but the "reward" is low. I have been thinking that maybe I could find some kind of sex coach (I am thinking someone that would show me physically - I have done sex therapy for years and I need something that helps physically) to help me be comfortable and reach an orgasm quicker that way my husband and I could re-connect better and finally have both of us get pleasure. Is this crazy??? We are a monogamous couple but I do not know how to reach him anymore and I am very aware that we are in this predicament because of me. Thank you if you manage to read all of it :)