leslieanne

Does it really matter if he does or doesn't cum from oral? My SO really enjoys oral, but has never cum from it. As he says it feels great, but there just isn't enough "firm" stimulation/friction (and I suck really hard at times) so I don't worry about it. Even with a hand job I can keep him going for an extremely long time if the amount of pressure/friction is moderate rather then strong. So when I start oral I know at some point I'll switch to using my hands........works everytime!! From my perspective as long as he's loving it - regardless of the what or how - that's all that matters.

From a physiological/medical perspective all the symptoms mentioned could be related to a number of things 1)short term elevation in blood pressure and/or heart rate 2)subsequent short term drop in blood pressure 3)elevated adrenaline levels (can affect muscle contractions, heart rate, blood pressure) activation/stimulation of the pleasure areas of the brain with release of varying amounts of seratonin, dopamine (or which ever neuro hormone is involved - sorry don't remember which one......) - this can override other neurological impluses in the brain 4)the length of foreplay - the longer the foreplay and teasing the longer you are at apt to be at a higher plateau of excitment even if not at the point of orgasming 5)number of orgasms 6)your excitment or fatigue level going into the session There are some women who are known to momentarily lose consciousness when having an orgasm - just their physiologic response. since we are all wired differently how our body responds is also unique. All this is a long way of saying........it's just how you respond - and as long as it's good that's all that really matters. The only thing I would worry about is chest pain - at or in a short time frame (30 minutes or so) after having an orgasm - that may be an indication of narrowing of the vessels in the heart. All I know is that I love it when my partner and/or I are babbling for a bit afterwards I can't hear or see quite normally right away or my body just goes limp

Regarding the prenatal vits - another option would be kids chewable vitamins - 2 of them gives you pretty close to what is in one prenatal. Typically much easier on one's stomach, no after taste, etc. I often recommend it for those with significant N/V or other GI issues during pregnancy. Maybe something you want to talk with your OB about.

Sounds as if you are getting good advise. Since you are early in your pregnancy it would be reasonable to anticipate doing the C-section, while at the same time keeping your options open based on how you do during the pregnancy. A final decision doesn't need to be made until 36-37 weeks (unless of course there are complications during the pregnancy which would require that you deliver sooner then 37 weeks) The fact that you are on meds to keep the Crohn's under control is definately a reflection of the severity of the disease.

Angelkisses - over the past 16 years I've cared for 5 OB patients with Crohn's dz. All of them had different experiences during pregnancy and delivery. Only one opted for an elective C-section - mainly because her Crohn's had been particularly problematic during the pregnancy. The others opted for a vaginal delivery and one of them ended up with a C-section due to fetal distress (unrelated to the fact that she had Crohn's). All five had no significant change in their Crohn's after delivery. Needless to say this is a very small sample size. While the labor process can increase GI motility and inflammation - it doesn't always. In addition proceeding with a C-section is not without it's own set of risk. Patients with Crohn's dz can have adhesions (when things that are not normally stuck together are stuck together) without any prior surgeries or infections due to the recurrent inflammation of the bowels from Crohns. Adhesions can increase the surgical risk. While I understand the desire to hear what others have experienced, it is important to remember those experiences provide information about what might occur, they in no way indicated what your experience will be. I would strongly encourage you to discuss this in detail with your OB and if at all possible with a perinatologist (specialist in high risk pregnancies) - the appropriate course of action would depend on your personal history - how long you've had Crohns, the severity of your disease state, whether or not you are taking medications - if you are taking medications daily or intermittantly based on symptoms, what triggers flares for you, if you have had any surgeries due to the Crohns, what your prenatal pregnancy course is with respect to the Crohns, etc.

Couple of comments about Kegels - it's a good idea for all women to do them - particularly if they have delivered a baby vaginally. Kegals not only strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor they also decrease the possibility of of urinary incontinence. In addition when your pelvic floor muscles are in good shape you can contract and relax them during intercourse which often provides increased sensation for your partner and for some women increases the vaginal sensations they have during intercourse. If you are in your 30's issues related to urinary incontinence are probable uncommon - however the number of women who experience problems with urinary incontinence increases with age - have your pelvic muscles in good shape works to your advantage as you move into your 40's and into your menopausal years. As is often the case a bit of prevention goes a long way. Kegals are simple to do - can be done at any time - whilie you're sitting and watching TV, driving in the car, sitting at your desk at work or while you are on the computer.

Haven't got a clue ........ will check with one of my urology associates to see if he knows. And at the risk of sounding a bit unfeeling - why does it matter how far it shoots.......at least it shots and I'm assuming feels real good when it does

withdrawel as a form of BC maybe ok for a couple in a longer term relationship who have discussed the possible risk of pregnancy - otherwise it's playing with fire. I have a couple of issues with the article - it quotes a 2% failure rate for condoms - that failure rate is if and only if condoms are used each and every time. Statistically, for couples who state that condoms their choice for BC, the failure rate is 10-15% (20% in some studies), because they forget to use condoms. Also, it states that the failure rate with withdrawal is 4% - that's double the quoted failure rate for condoms. And although there is no studies that I'm aware of, based on 15 yrs of experience as an OB/Gyn, I'm sure the failure rate is higher then 4% - simple because the plan maybe to withdraw, but it doesn't happen.

all examples provided reinforce the need to get your butt into the doc to be examined.

Beautiful - may have to discuss ordering some from you.......

You need to have it examined in order to know why - there are any number of reasons - including, but not limited to infection torsion trauma developing hernia blood clot in the vessels of the testicle tumor

Craftylady - first of all I admire you for what you have gone through and what you are continuing to experience. It is wonderful that you are being proactive about your ongoing quality of life!! It's so easy to "throw in the towel". I also have to say that since I've never seen you, never examined you it is difficult for me to give specific advice. The information I'm providing is general in nature. If you continue to have pain or difficulty using the dilators you need to see your OBGyn doc again - and take the dilators with you. If one tries to progress through the dilator sizes to quickly pain and potential injury can occur. Compare it to having your leg in a cast - once the cast comes off you don't immediately start doing tons of exercises or start running. You have to slowly work your way up - it's the same with the dilators. So this is the recommendations I've given the few patients I've cared for who have needed to use vaginal dilators 1. Always, always, always use lube with them 2. Use them daily, twice a day if you can tolerate it, but it's ok to start out just once a day 3. Start with the largest dilator that DOES NOT CAUSE YOU ANY PAIN, become comfortable sliding the dilator in and out of your vagina. Do not use any force to push it in. You can do this while lying down, sitting on the toilet, or squatting - which ever is most comfortable for you. If you do it while lying down you can slide the dilator in and leave in in place for 5-10 minutes. 4. After 5-7 days move to the next size dilator - again be very gentle. You do not need to push the dilator all the way in. Continue using the same size dilator until it is no longer painful - this could be a few days to a few weeks. 5. When moving to a larger dilator you may not be able to advance the dilator to it's fullest point - thats ok, go at it slowly. Also you may be able to only tolerate it going in and out, you may not be able to tolerate leaving in place initially. For patients who are using dilators after receiving pelvic, vaginal or anal radiation versus those with a vagina that is very narrow due to their genetic makeup - the dilation process is typically slower due to the loss of elasticity in the skin/tissue. Remember - slow and steady - while it will most likely take time (months most likely) if you don't do it your vagina could become as narrow as your index finger. You have much to be proud of, don't get discouraged - you're through the worst of it. And please if you continue to have pain when using the dilators - go see your doctor.

There were some small studies done shortly after Viagra was approved by the FDA. The studies did not include placebos, women were asked if their response improved, was the same or was worse with Viagra. The results did not indicate any improvement. Since there is more $'s for the drug companies marketing to men no additional studies were done until recently. The study referred to specifically looked at women on antidepressants, it's difficult to generalize it to the population as a whole. What was good about the study is that it did include placebo's - which makess the results much more believable. As for MD's not responding to women and their concerns about sexual function - there are a number of reasons this happens 1. The MD's are uncomfortable discussing sexual function with patients 2. There is little to no education for MD's regarding sexual function while in medical school or residency - sadly this includes OB/Gyn's and Urologists. 3. MD's are just as uncomfortable as the general population when it comes to issues related to sex, sexual functions, alternative life styles, etc. 4. The amount of information with regard to medications and how they affect sexual function is limited - if there are adverse effects that information is often buried at the end of all the drug info. Women do need to be willing to bring their issues up with the doctor as most/many doctors won't take the initiative to ask about it. If your doctor is unwilling to discuss the issue with you, if they blow you off, or have little to no information you have to be willing to change physicians. I work in a large group practice with 28 OB/GYN's, of those 28 there are 7-8 of us who will proactively ask about sexual function, anther 4-5 that are willing to work with women to address issues they have with sexual function. Thus there's less then 50% of us that don't shy away from the issues - this is true in private practice as well.

Like Mikayla I always orgasm - it's not always during intercourse, but it always happens. Lucky for me my SO loves to see me orgasm and he'll do whatever to make sure it happens (toys, oral, fingers, intercourse) and almost always multiple times. With such a giving partner I'd be very remiss to not provide the same for him - that said there has probably been 1/2 dozen times in the 3 yrs we've been together when he hasn't orgasmed - always related to him being extremely stressed and fatigued - and boy do we have a good time trying!! Not a bad track record given our ages (54 and 57).

Bacterial vaginitis/vaginosis can also cause a "fishy" oder to the vaginal secretions. Same is true when you have a trichamonias infection. Both can be easily diagnosed by an OB/Gyn or Family Medicine doctor by doing what's called a "wet mount". This is done in the office at the time of the visit so - need for a lab test. So if the oder persists I'd recommend that you get it checked.

No sex talk at all - just what to do when my periods started. On my own I discovered the book "Everything you wanted to know about sex, but were afraid to ask" - at least I had some idea what it was all about - that said it obviously wasn't enough since I ended up pregnant at age 17 (just before my 12th grade yr - all parties involved agreed that termination was the best options). Fast forward 35 yrs - as an OB/GYN it's been an ongoing, open, factual conversation with both my sons since they were in the 5th grade. The conversation expanded to their friends on an as needed basis. So at this point I'm the go to person whenever there are questions or concerns. While starting the "conversation" can be uncomfortable for many parents - IMHO it's a parental responsibility.

Swimma - there can be a multitude of reasons why she has backed off from having sex. As indicated the changing hormones cause some womens sex drive to decrease, whereas for others it increases in the second and third trimester. Many times women have been told that it's bad to have sex during pregancy as it can "hurt the baby", for others the whole reason to have sex is to get pregnant and once they are there is no longer to have sex from their perspective. As suggested talk with her about it outside the bedroom. I would suggest not approaching it from the "I need this so what's up" or "What's wrong, why don't you want sex"......I can almost guarantee that both will irritate her. Asking her how she's feeling about being pregnant, about the prospect of being a mom, if there's anything she needs from you that she's not getting will put the conversation in the "I love you, want to understand what you are experiencing, want to be there for you". Also do you go to her doctor appointments with her? If not I would suggest you do. Questions regarding sex during pregancy are commonly asked and any OB/GYN should be able and willing to discuss the issue. Again rather then asking "is sex ok" a question such as "Can anything happen to the baby if we have intercourse - what about oral sex or masterbation?" This way you are asking about the various ways to have sex, not focusing only on one and directing the focus not her willingness or unwillingness, but directing the focus on how the pregnancy may or may not be affected. If she has had anyone close (family member, friend) that has recently miscarried or had preterm labor or delivery she will most likely have a fair amount of anxiety that sex might cause the same problem for her. Again - asking her if she is concerned about anything with respect to the pregnancy is a good way to get at this type of information. If she has experienced a miscarriage this can often create a high level of anxiety about the potential that sex will cause it to occur again. Whatever you do, please don't get angry with her - the prospect of becoming a mom is for many women overwhelming and it takes a fair amount of time to adjust. Also she will start feeling movement soon if she hasn't already and the ability to feel the baby move often decreases a woman's anxiety since she has an easy way of reassuring herself that the baby is ok. hope this helps you talk with her about it.

so have him masterbate with you watching what he does and see what you can learn from that. He may have a particular "spot" or motion that works better for him. Also there maybe some "anxiety" on his part that's causing some "interference"....just a thought

I would strongly (can't emphasis strongly enough) encourage you to use both condoms and another form of BC. As mentioned condoms for the STD factor and another form of BC to prevent pregnancy. Without using condoms you are at significant risk for STD's. If you have more then one partner, regardless of how "safe" you think they are and how clean they say they are, your risk is higher. Remember most people don't know they have an STD as most STD's don't have significant symptoms - that's the reason they get passed along so readily. I'm assuming you've tried BCP and DepoProvera when you say that hormonal methods don't work for you. As for IUD's - there is another option besides Mirena - it's called Paragard and has no hormones associated with it. If the IUD aspect (not having to think about) has worked for you and it's just the hormonal aspect of Mirena that's the issue it would be reasonable to switch to the Paragard. If you are 100% sure you do not want any more children, you should consider a tubal ligation. This can be done by either "cutting" the tubes (done laproscopically - band aid surgery) or there is a new process called Essure. With the Essure procedure tiny plugs are inserted into the tubes. The tubes are accessed by going through the cervix, into the uterus and placing the plugs where the tubes come into the uterus. The procedure can typically be done as an outpatient office procedure. It has the same effectiveness as a tubal ligation (1% failure rate same as for IUD's and BCP) and is considered permanent just like a tubal ligation. It does not have any affect on your ovulation and there are no hormones associated with it. Natural family planning is a viable option provided you are very diligent about tracking your cycle. Most women do have very regular cycles, however as you hit your 30's cycle changes are more common and you must remember that stress, illness, medications, and misc. other things can throw your cycle off.

Junebaby - you didn't indicate the type of cancer or the location of the radiation therapy - both these things in addition to the hysterectomy (were her ovaries removed at the same time?) could have a significant affect on her libido/sex drive as well as the level of comfort/discomfort/pain she may experience with sex. If you are comfortable sharing a bit more info I may be able to provide you with some suggestions or at least provide you with some questions to ask her doctor. The other thing to remember is that the diagnosis of cancer (what ever type) has a significant emotional and mental impact. Initially the focus is on "getting through it" and dealing with the ever present fear of spead and/or death. Even once the cancer has been "cured" the emotional and mental strain can persist, sometimes for a number of years, and much of their energy and focus can go towards just getting through each day while keeping the fear at bay. It is also important to remember that being physically intimate does not necessarily mean having to have intercourse. And even if she isn't interested in being played with, stimulated or having an orgasm, she may be willing to give you a hand job or blow job if she understands that it is the physical intimacy of that act as much as the orgasm itself that is important to you - that for you the intimacy of the act reinforces the connection between both of you.

Written in a slightly different way ........ please feel free to use your imagination about what more could be happening each step of the way....... Friday afternoon 4pm – email To: Anna From: Joshua I would like you to think about what you want and/or need this weekend. You’ve been putting in some long hours recently and I know you’ve got a number of projects needing your attention. So I’d like you to think about the following as you drive home. Do you want to focus on the work you feel you need to get done? Do you want a little rest and relaxation in addition to getting work done? Do you want an even split between work and play? Do you want more rest, relax and play time? Do you want me to take control so you don’t have to decide? How the weekend evolves will depend on you and what your answers are to these questions. If you need to focus on work that’s ok – if you want to abandon work all together that’s what will happen or it can be anything in between. When you get home the same 5 questions will be posted on the door and once you step inside you will begin making decisions that will set the tone and tenor for the whole weekend………. Intrigued?? Hope so Curious?? Hope so Ready to head home and get started?? Certainly hope so!! Can’t wait to see what you decide ……… Josh When Anna gets home she is greeted by Note on the door from the garage to the laundry room Just in case you don’t remember the questions………. Do you want to focus on the work you need to get done? Do you want a little rest and relaxation in addition to getting work done? Do you want an even split between work and play? Do you want more rest, relax and play time? Do you want me to take control so you don’t have to decide? When you step through this door you have to make your first decision – what will it be all work, all play or something in between? I’ll be watching, listening and responding to whatever you decide……. As Anna enters she finds: Note on the door from the laundry room into the house Before you do anything else – kick your shoes off and feel the cool tile on your feet…..doesn’t that feel good, are you ready to feel good in other ways? Do you want to focus on the work you need to get done? If yes take your lap top into the office, sit down and start working There is a glass of wine waiting in case you’re willing to take a brief pause If no – read on Do you want a little rest and relaxation in addition to getting work done? If yes take your lap top into the office, leave it there Pick up the glass of wine and go relax on the couch If no – read on Do you want an even split between work and play? If yes strip down to your undies, take your lap top into the office, and leave it there Pick up the glass of wine and go relax on the couch If you want more – read on Do you want more rest, relax and play time? If yes, strip down to your undies, leave your lap top on the dryer Head to the bathroom If you want more – read on Do you want me to take control so you don’t have to decide? If yes – you will do whatever I ask, whenever I ask for the next 2 days Strip down to your undies, leave you lap top on the dryer and head to the bathroom Initially Anna’s plan was to focus on work, however she’s now heading to the bathroom…… Note on the bathroom counter – Open only one envelope Envelope #1 – Rest, relax and play time Envelope #2 – Josh is in complete control Now’s the real dilemma – rest and relax or just let Josh take control…..hmmm would be delightful to just it all go so she opens…… Envelope #2 OH YEAH…….this is going to be so much fun!!!! Take off your bra, leave your panties on Go into the kitchen and pour yourself a glass of wine and read the note on the counter As she walks to the kitche she’s already starting to feel wet, wondering what he has planned….. Note on the kitchen counter Merlot, Chardonnay or Riesling? …..which will it be…….. Pour a full glass, take a sip, go to living room and get comfortable on the couch What might you do with the wine besides drink it?? Read the note on the coffee table to find out Anna can’t help but wonder “What is he going to have me do with the wine?” Note on the coffee table Relax back on the couch, start sipping your wine, close your eyes, take some slow deep breaths, let the day float away When you hear the clock chime the quarter hour, dip your finger into the wine and rub it on your nipples - round and round as your nipples start to pucker up - do it again and again and again until the clock chimes the next quarter hour. Close your eyes and wait quietly – maybe, just maybe I’ll come and suck the wine off your tits…..won’t the sucking feel good………… when I whisper in your ear it’ll be time to read the note that’s waiting for you on the fireplace mantel…….. It’s a good thing Josh reminded her where the next note was as her brain is foggy since he did just a bit more than suck her tits..…… Note on the fireplace mantel in the den Oh so slowly take off your panties, stand with your legs apart and gently rub your pussy – not your clit, but your whole pussy. Think of all the wonderful things I can do to your pussy. Think of what you can do to your own pussy. Pick up the rabbit vibrator and lube, or are you already so wet that you don’t need any lube – do I know my Anna or what? Lie down on the rug and close your eyes. I know you want to slide rabbit right on it, but you have to wait – wait until the clock chimes the next quarter hour, then turn rabbit on and start playing. No orgasms allowed – or I’ll have to punish you – just play and pleasure. Keep playing until the clock chimes 2 more quarter hours then stop and flip yourself over and read the note on the rug. Oh how I love to watch you play with yourself…… maybe I’ll take a few pictures……… Anna’s aching for an orgasm as she flips over and reads the Note on the rug Put on the blind fold, get on your knees with your ass in the air and wait ……………. Just think of all the things I can do to you with your cute little ass stuck up in air…… anal play……some spanking……. fisting……. double penetration………plunge an ice cold glass dildo into your welcoming vagina ………. lick your throbbing cunt and suck your needy clit……….how many ways can I make you cum………we may be at this for hours…….

I need to print this and hang it in my exam rooms ......... I can hear the new mom's (and dad's)chuckling already.

Any and all BCP can be used continously for 3 - 6 months at a time. By continously I mean that the non hormone pills in a pack are not taken and you just keep taking the hormone pills for 3 to 6 months. Truth be told OB/GYN docs doing it for many many years. - in fact I did from the time I was 35 until I was 39 (when I decided to have another child) and again from age 41 - 45 (I'm now 53). Seasonale (or Seasonique) is the first pill that drug company packaged and got approval from the FDA to sell in this manner. Because you are taking the hormone pill daily for 3 months there is slightly increased risk of break through bleeding - light, spotting bleeding that can occur at any time. This is rarely a symptom of any thing bad. If the break through bleeding is frequent or persistant that's when you need to get rechecked. All BCP (including Seasonale) decrease your risk of anemia (due to less bleeding), decrease your risk of ovarian cysts (because you are not ovulating), decrease your life time risk of ovarian cancer (again related to not ovulating), decrease your risk of uterine cancer while taking them (this risk is highest for obese women who do not have regular menses when not on BCP), decrease the risk of endometriosis, decrease the frequency of dysmenorrhea (painful periods). The risk for blood clots in your legs (1% of women), or a delay in the return of your fertility (1% of women) is the same with Seasonale/Seasonique) as it is with all other BCP. The possible side effects of nausea, weight gain, increase acne, darkening of your skin in certain areas of your body are the same as with all other BCP. The long and short of it is that the side effects and potential risks as well as the advantages of Seasonale/Seasonique are no different then all other BCP. Drug companies are constantly coming up with "new" formulations of BCP - which in reality don't offer anything significantly new. When the patents end on meds then other companies can start producing generics at a lower cost and the drug companies come up with something "new" so they can get a new patent and sell the meds at a higher cost. Using a generic BCP in the way described above will give you the same 3 months of coverage and will probably cost less. Something to consider when you have the conversation with OB/Gyn doctor about what BC you want to use.

very new to it - with toys only at this point as my SO is not all that interested - but I enjoy it each and every time - haven't done DP yet, but plan to in the very near future.