for me it was a fringer slip,being wet and all for him going down his finger got in wrong hole he said sorry and i said why it dofferent , the next time we had sex that week he said u whant the finger in u ass againe and i say yea it was different .later that day i ask what was that all about and he said we men talk at work so i tryed it on u.........it was ok i still like it but for some reason i'd rather have it up the ass pecker up my ass more than his finger.........so what i am saying try finger first get use to it then try his pecker or u might try useing a toy see what u would do with it a nd how far that way u can tell him ok that is good there ......good luck and injoy