Smile4Me

Hello everyone! For everyone that remembers me you know it's been a while since I posted! I apologize for my lack in loyalty to the boards! I miss you all! My curiosity gets the best of me. I'm a people watcher by nature, and I'm constantly trying to pick people's brains...especially at work! My first question is mostly for the guys, but gals feel free to add your two sense too: How often have you fantasized about having a romp with a coworker, and how often has/does the fantasy actually take place on the job? Secondly: Is the urge to be as professional as possible stronger than the urge to act? This should be good!

Holy crap Suzy! I never would have guessed! You sneaky little thing, you! hahaha! You know, I've actually thought about that before; about how liberating and fun it would be to try it out. Kind of like being a stripper, I think that would be so empowering, if I had the body for it. It's good you shared that with everyone! I think most TooTimid people refrain from unnecessary judgments, just because everyone has different desires, and different things they want out of life. I would be the last person to judge anyone on anything, because let's face it, I'm no angel, and I'm sure some people would be shocked at what I've done before Go girl! Oh, and btw, I thought we were getting married? You don't love me anymore?! LOL Have a good one girl, you know where to find me! Sam

Hey there! My husband and I used to be part of the "swinging" community, I guess you could say (Blush-blush!) It all started with a 3-some with a close friend of mine, a particularly adventurous friend! After that we had a few more 3-somes with women, 1 or 2 with men, and then started attended lifestyle clubs. We had some good (actually GREAT!) times, but found the drama of it all was not worth it. Sex is complicated enough without having to worry about 1 or 2 extra people's feelings, and a lot of the time, the people you're messing around with aren't completely sure what they're comfortable with - SO, inevitably, when something is out of their comfort zone, they're going to come at you, guns-a-blazing. My whole theory on it is that it can definitely spice up yourself life, but at what cost? On the other hand, some people just seem to have the RIGHT relationship for it, which I feel is very few. I know one thing, men tend to get spoiled to it (it's true, 100%!). A few months or years of messing around with different women and the thought of being with just your wife (OH NO, complete monogomy???!) again doesn't seem too thrilling anymore, and you can see where that would cause issues! I think if it's something purely supplementary to an already great sex life, SURE! The more the merrier! HOWEVER, if you're trying to recouperate your 'married-sex' and revamp your sexual chemistry, or fill in the gaps of where your partner is lacking...consider it a ONE-WAY to signing divorce papers (after all, no marriage will survive one person taking the other for granted). Close friends of mine have fallen to the fate of the open marriage, swinging lifestyle, even blatant polymory, really whatever you decide to call it. It's not pretty or glamorous whatsoever. Some though, seem to have made it a successful and integral part of their life. Good luck to you! And have fun!!

Wow, what a scumbag. I'm going to be perfectly honest with you, so please don't get offended. First of all...a little about me so you know how deeply I understand: I spent all of my high school years with the same idiot, a waste of 4 years, where he totally had me dooped. When we split for the umpteenth and last time Senior year, I started digging a little to find out if my long-abetted fears could be justified with some 'hard evidence'. Well, I had learned that the whole time he had secretly been having sex with young women....YOUNG women.....13, 14 year old girls (I was 18 at the time and him 21). I even found out that he had several other lady friends that he was seeing, all the while he spoke of our fate and how much he couldn't wait to be my husband (gag). I was pretty blindsighted by it all, that the person I had loved and cared for, for so long, had been such a deceiving moron, not to mention an unconvicted sex offender (technically), what a waste of oxygen he was. Looking back I noticed all of the signs that should have thrown flares in every which direction...his sudden lack of communication (wouldn't call), his apprehension to meet with me at certain times, not to mention the slew of rumors that swirled around school and work about him being with this girl and that girl, I should have listened. I guess my point to this whole spill is that some men were born slimeballs...they will never truly sew their wild oats, no matter what! You can't fix them, you can't make them 'a 1 woman man', it just doesn't work like that. You could be perfect, you could be Jessica Alba reincarnated, he'll still be looking for the next quick lay, regardless of his love for you. Sometimes it's just better to cut your losses. Today I'm married to the most amazing man I've ever met, my best friend - and to think I may have ended up so hurt and lost, it makes me sick. Take it from me, put yourself first, and don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. Don't depend on no one but yourself. Good luck.

I think sex is just one of those things that, for women, seems to reinforce self image - sex makes us all feel beautiful, sexy, and desired, not to mention NEEDED. I think we're hard-wired to believe that sex is one of the few things that we as women have the most control over in life; so when the hubby isn't "delivering" or we don't have someone special to be intimate with, we feel like we've lost that control, breeding even deeper issues for us. No woman likes feeling unwanted, rejected, or not good enough, so when we lose that control over something like sex, casual sex can be used as a means to feel in control again and ultimately feel like a desirable woman. If you look at it like that, it's easy to see why promiscuity could set in. Not to say that ALL women who have 'sex to feel needed' are promiscuous, but the two concepts definitely go hand in hand.

LMAO! This is awesomely hilarious! Talk about story of my life! LOL! I love this joke, I will definitely pass it on!

Thanks Ladylove! I'm glad you found it entertaining! LOL I put quotations around the "skinny bitches" for a reason! hahahaha It's an ongoing joke with me and some of my girlfriends who've lost a significant amount of weight. My good friend Alli lost about 85lbs last year and I still to this day give her hell, stuff like "Are you off to the skinny bitches of orange county convention?" LOL It's definitely meant in a teasing, totally non-insulting way, at least on my end! And of course, it wouldn't be nearly as funny if there wasn't a little envy on behalf of the name-caller! hehehehe

Hmmmmmm.....I'll have to dig into my box of secrets to tell you! LOL I like watching a little bit of it all. Despite the fact that GUY/GUY does nothing for me, the tranny videos are oddly interesting sometimes when I'm not looking to get anywhere LOL! I really like watching girl/girl and females masturbating...there's nothing hotter than self-love! I really like the kinky stuff, watersports (NO SCAT..GAG!! There's a fine line there people! ), squirting, cum shots, 3somes, 4somes, 5somes...I sense a pattern here..hehehe And none of that boring, unethusiastic stuff, where it's painfully obvious the girl is doing it just to pay the bills. YUCK. My fave site is TUBE8...they have everything you could imagine!

Now that I got a chance to read all the posts, I wanted to add my two sense in here regarding this battle! Eminatic, I actually agreed with article myself. While I don't think she should have knocked any other diet programs, I don't think she was all that negative. I did sense some fierce motivation in her tone...or "Tough Love" which I've always favored when it comes to dealing with life's issues. As for the whole skinny vs. fat debate: First of all, let me say, men REALLY don't know what they want, at least half the time. I think they want what they don't have or what they are NOT "USED TO". I think we all know it's pretty obvious when a girl is unhealthy skinny...to name a few..have you seen the women on a high-class runway? THAT is the sick-unhealthy I think everyone refers to, and why are they like that? Because everyone else has told them that sickeningly skinny is the only way to be. Skinny girls don't get HALF the negative attention that big girls do, and that's why there's a double standard. People associate being "fat" with unhealthy a helluva lot faster than skinny. Why? My theory is that "fat", thanks to Hollywood and Media-retards, is synonymous with extremely negative concepts: ****LAZINESS ****UNHEALTHY ****PSYCHOLOGICAL ISSUES ****DIRTY, SMELLY, POOR HYGIENE ****LACK OF SELF RESPECT ****POOR SELF IMAGE/LOW CONFIDENCE ****LACK OF SELF CONTROL The list goes on and on. Now look at the very FEW negative connotations surrounding skinny women (mind you, women at average weights--not underweight, not overweight-- are NOT included, because everyone loves them, REMEMBER?) *****EATING DISORDER *****DRUG ADDICTION Yeah, let me tell you. You "skinny bitches" have it REAL HARD when it comes to negativity from the outside world There's a reason why it's okay to say "Wow you're so freakin' skinny" and it's NOT ok to say "Wow you're a fuckin' fat ass"...I think I've proven my point at least.

This post kicked major ass. I know everyone thinks..oh it's negative and she seems so bitchy. Which she is BUT that's what I call tough love baby, and it's the most motivating thing you could ever hear. I want to shake this girls hand, she just added a good 30 mins to my workout tomorrow. Hell to the yes!!

WOOHOO BABY, You ready to get hitched? LOL Vermont here we come In all seriousness though, I'm glad to see people starting to let individuals live how they want to live. Should have never been illegal to begin with, if you ask me. The south better catch up! LOL (yeah right)

Wow Samma Bear, I'm sorry you had to go thru all that!! First of all, I don't see where YOU did anything wrong. They were the ones who decided they were "up for it"...if you ask me it's pretty shady and immature for them to do that TO YOU, considering they should have seriously talked about something like that and been very sure. Some people are just selfish like that. 3-way relationships are not the most successful. I had some close friends a while back that have since moved and dropped off the face of the planet, but it was a married couple and their shared girlfriend of 6 years. They all 3 lived together too. There was ALWAYS drama in the household. If the guy was in the doghouse, lookout, cuz he didn't have 1 angry woman to deal with, he had 2!! They would pair up in teams against each other, whoever had done something wrong was in for it! And of course they always came to us to gripe about one or the other or the other LOL. It just seemed terribly dysfunctional to me. Anyway, it's probably a good thing it happened relatively quick before things got too deep. Just take it as a learning experience I guess, since that's all you really can do. They'll either come around, or they won't. Try not to take it too personally. I wish you the best. By the way, Sun-Flower the Swinging lifestyle is NOT the same as a 3-way relationship...that's a totally different can of worms! That's more like polygamy than swinging, as swingers are just in it for the sexual relationship, no strings attached type thing. Just thought I'd clear that up, LOL!

Awwww, gorgeous Synirr! I've been trying to get my hubby to let me get a chihuahua for the longest, this one is just adorable! And the cats are beautiful too, such pretty markings! By the way, Petri is a GREAT name for a parrot! LOL Tyger, great Blue Heeler, he's just gorgeous!LOL And so are the little babies! The cat in the trashcan is just priceless! Looks like something mine would do! Here are some more photos of my babies Hank when we "studded" him out, he was puppysitting! LOL Like father like son Still puppysitting, he was actually a great dad! LOL Hank, laying in his favorite spot, the chase lounge! LOL You would think he was spoiled or something Maybe A LITTLE (hehehe)

AWWW!! Casper is positively adorable!! Thanks for sharing! And what a little pimp in his sweater! LOL

Hopefully I'm not the only animal lover around!! Here's a place to post your favorite NOT-HUMAN family members! Have fun My kids: By far the most "laid back" cat you'll ever meet LOL! Hank: The Handsome Husky Yes, they're adorable...I know! LOL

AWWWW (tears up) I feel the LUV!!!! Hugs for everyone! LOL!! Girl, you crack me up!! Hahahaha It's so on like donkey-kong! You may have to bring the flowers though, because I can't seem to do anything but kill mine lately! LOL Maybe my green weenie wasn't as big as I thought it was (sigh) Oh, and just to show you your competition, meet my handsome boy!! High 5 to "canine perfection"!!

Good questions!! I think you may already know my answers, at least a portion! But hey, here goes anyway! I found TT when I was looking for sex toys! LOL Imagine that. Clicked a link that brought me there, loved that great selection, clicked on the "Community Message Boards" out of curiosity, and haven't looked back since!! I was awed by the collection of people here, how caring and considerate everyone was with each other. Then I posted a very deep-seeded question, and got some very excellent responses from everyone, to include Dadt..TT's own Marriage Counselor LOL (WINKS) Needless to say, what keeps me here is simple..the people! Smart, outspoken, and compassionate people. What the world should be like in it's entirety.

Totally and Completely Agree!! That is some of the worst mental abuse you can get (or give).

Easy Guys (err Gals)!! This was meant to be fun and enlightening, I didn't mean for it to turn into battle of beliefs. Goooosfrabba! LOL Suzy, some people are just disagreeable, and you just can't do anything about it. Don't get yourself all worked up over some negativity. I want all SMILES damnit...HENCE THE NAME----SMILE 4 ME...Now do it, right now!! LOL People go through shit, bad shit. Stuff that stops them in their tracks and turns their world inside out. It makes their overall view on life very cynical and pessimistic; the best thing anyone can do is try to understand their perspective (no matter how irrational or backwards you feel it is) and move on with the day. I know, I've been that cynical person before. and watched every good friendship I had walk out the door because of it. Sometimes, it's hard to find the optimism, but we're only here for short time, why waste that time feeling sorry for ourselves. The people who are pissed off at the world and hang from a metaphoric black cloud all day will SOMEDAY "find their silver lining." All you can do is wish them well on their journey, and try not to let them bring you down. FUN-SUCKER they may so choose to be. Don't let someone else rain on your sunny day, life's too short for that. And Eminatic, I hope you find a time in life where you feel good about who you are and find a way to trust the people around you. I do feel you are overly negative in the way you communicate, but then again, opinions are like assholes (finish cliche here.....) I never said life was daffodills and pretty pink rose bushes, but there's a way to get thru the bad, and it most certainly does not include dwelling on the past. Wish you luck, and SMILE damnit. No frowns are allowed, not in this forum. AND...that conclude's this episode of Keeping the Peace for the day, tune in tomorrow!

Hi Eminatic, I think this is a great idea for you, personally. Just from what I've read on TT, you are very open with your thoughts and opinions (and that's a good thing in my book). This would work to your advantage when doing an essay. It is very well worth a shot, so strutt your stuff and do your thang! How rewarding would that be to make some $$$ for school, both personally and academically?! As for random thoughts for me: I wonder what the next 5 years of life will hold.

OMG...this kinda of behavior pisses me off to no end--pardon my french. Any time any man tells you you need to do something to change your body, a frikin' flair should go off spelling out "LOSER". Love is not skin-deep. What a superficial asshole to manipulate you like this. I flat out DO NOT BELIEVE in a woman changing herself to make someone else happy. If changes are to be made, it should be for nothing more than to feel better about YOU, or help support the well-being of your children. If a man pulls the "I'm not attracted to you because of this" he is not in LOVE, don't be fooled! Real love is unconditional in the sense that "you're beautiful because he loves you", and not "he loves you because you're beautiful." Any man that tries to manipulate a woman into changing her body has a serious problem and is very superficial. Your friend just sounds rather naive to me; chemistry you may have, but he doesn't have what it takes to be a successful long-term companion. Why do so many good women act so impervious to these kinds of actions? Don't let anyone treat you like this. Screw that!! That is such BS! Whew, I apologize, but I really had to get that off my chest. I hope I didn't offend, that was not my intention, just something I feel strongly about. I've met so many women who fall into this ridiculous trap, and it hurts me to watch them cry and hurt because of it. I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

I apologize Sunday, as I thought about how harsh that came across after the fact. I don't know, I think at first glance it just seemed very cruel; that's why I asked if this point of view came later in the marriage. I still wonder why you wouldn't try and help her or something; ok yeah, she put on some weight, but I don't think you're superficial enough to deny the woman you loved over some extra weight, and if so that just bothers me. There must have been something else going on that made her develop these habits, and that makes me think life wasn't all that happy for her. Anyway, I'm glad you're at least happy now, and I hope she figured things out. I really didn't mean to sound like a presumptuous bitch, I just sensed some deep-seeded anger and resentment in your words; that being said, if there's anything I feel that people need more of, it's compassion for the living.

I'm sorry, this just cracked me the hell up

Suzy, as much as I really don't want to throw in my two sense into this battle, I must admit, I couldn't have said it better myself. I don't think the harsh views surrounding prostitution and "exotic dancing" have anything to do with the woman's decision to express her sexuality and whether it's wrong or right, but more to do with the negative stereotypes surrounding those forms of "employment." The main stereotype I see with prostitution is the self-negation of dignity it entails. Supposidely women who do not respect themselves enough to find a dignified job will turn to these types of jobs to earn quick money, at least that is what society has taught everyone to think. Whether this is correct or not, it really doesn't matter, because the fact is, MOST woman are never FORCED into selling her body for money. We contribute to our own well-being, and regardless of whether someone tries to take that right away, no one is ever completely helpless...they just decide to be subserviant, and in allowing yourself to be subservient, you are merely contributing to a stereotype that has enabled America to consider women THE WEAKER SEX. I digress.

Wow Sunday, this is really disturbing. Why would you marry someone that you "just aren't into"??? Or did this come later in the marriage? I have to wonder what kind of person admits to having sex with a spouse (regardless of former or current) and describes it as an obligation. Then to openly admit you feel sorry for her? How pathetic. I don't mean to be judgmental, but wow, the word "slimeball" definitely comes to mind after reading your post.