Punishment Ideas

[VadersVixen]

Hello! I am new to the mb and just recently started a D/s relationship with my husband. We don't want to be a 24/7 everyday couple, just sexually he wants to dominate me. Part of our agreement is that he can touch me/tease me anytime he wants and anywhere (this is 24/7). Well, I'm having a hard time complying with this as I keep forgetting and reject his advances. He wants to start punishing me for not letting him. I am NOT a slave but a submissive and only sexually. In my "real life" I am actually a HUGE control freak.

Anyway, he wanted to spank me but I love erotic pain, so that is out of the question. He would be rewarding my bad behavior if he was to do anything physical/sexual. Does anyone else have any NON-SEXUAL/NON-PAIN ideas? I have looked online and the suggestions don't really fit the "crime" so to speak.

Thanks so much!

~VadersVixen

[Mikayla1]

It does take a while to get into the habit of sexual submission in a 24/7 environment - and - if you are a control freak, even harder. It is fun, though, to sometimes 'break the rules' and get a punishment. I will throw out a few of my favorites (and yes, some may be slightly sexual, but if you look at them in the right way, they are fun)

I know you say that you are not a 'slave' but sometimes it is fun to poke around with the mentality of sexual servitude, especially when it comes to punishment:

(1) One HUGE punishment that we had in our DOM/sub situation when I did live 24/7 as a sexual slave was orgasm denial. In this situation I was denied orgasm (which takes a whole lot of time to master) for one, two or more orgasms or stim sessions when I denied my Master his satisfaction. In this manner, the punishment fits the crime perfectly.

(2) I like Brandy's idea of being denied things. I know it sounds odd, but being denied dessert after dinner, having to sit in the corner while he watches your favorite TV shows or movies.

(3) Personal service: having to give him a footrub or a backrub. Relaxing him all over in a non-sexual, but flirtateous way.

(4) Having to feed him - such as pieces of popcorn or fruit or even dinner.

(5) Being his personal 'plate' - you lie on the table, food is placed upon you. This was a HUGE one for my former Master when I disobeyed his advances. He would always say, 'If you are going to think you can avoid me, I will place you at the center of my attention." Just to point out that I was usually naked AND there was sometimes dinner guests.

(6) Cleaning naked. If you will not sumit to his advances, then at least you can look like eye candy while doing the things you have to do around the house.

(7) Having to shower him and wash him all over.

These are just a few that come to my head, but I may think of some more later. Hope that helped!

[shdowulf39]

I have been in the bdsm lifestyle for some time now.I would think it almost impossible to only have part of a 24/7 relationship.Where do you draw the line?Where does punishment fit in?With a full 24/7 relationship everything is quite clear.You know if you make a mistake there is some form of punishmemt involved.With a part time 24/7 I just don't see it working.For either of you.

Maybe the best thing would be to sit down and draw up a contract.Both of you list all the things you want.Also list what certain punishments should be.

Wow!You picked a toughy.Especially if neither of you have had any real time experience in bdsm.

Good luck.

[ginshreve]

To my mind, it is okay to "enjoy" the punishment a little... I don't see a problem with you earning a spanking, which would then be enjoyable to you.... that might be fun in a different way! But I also really like Mikayla's ideas.

My suggestions were similar: having to do housework clad only in an apron, being chained/handcuffed to him for a period of time, or even doing house chores for him. I think it's hard to get away from any sexuality in the punishments at all... because the whole scene is sexual, really.

[hyokahey]

All great suggestions, but all moot if kids are around! I think that temporary role play sounds like fun; as long as couple understandings of what is going on and what the limits are have been made very clear. Like all role play, participants need to be able to play, a characteristic that many are not comfortable with.

[Dopey]

Hello! I am new to the mb and just recently started a D/s relationship with my husband. We don't want to be a 24/7 everyday couple, just sexually he wants to dominate me. Part of our agreement is that he can touch me/tease me anytime he wants and anywhere (this is 24/7). Well, I'm having a hard time complying with this as I keep forgetting and reject his advances. He wants to start punishing me for not letting him. I am NOT a slave but a submissive and only sexually. In my "real life" I am actually a HUGE control freak.

Anyway, he wanted to spank me but I love erotic pain, so that is out of the question. He would be rewarding my bad behavior if he was to do anything physical/sexual. Does anyone else have any NON-SEXUAL/NON-PAIN ideas? I have looked online and the suggestions don't really fit the "crime" so to speak.

Thanks so much!

~VadersVixen

Well this is just my opinion anytime you start a D/s relationship where it is only part time and have some anytime activities as you have stated. He has the right to touch or make advances at anytime this proves to be difficult. If it is just a sexual D/s then would it be easier if things only took place in the bedroom? I mean it has to be confusing to you. Have you even given this much thought? What if you are in a public place would you feel humiliated if he touched you sexually? You stated above he has the right to make sexual advances 24/7. A lot of the D/s couples talk about different disciplines and punishments. What they would feel appropriate not too mention rules or guidelines most subs or slaves must follow. It is actually really hard to break down D/s outside a 24/7 relationship I know many do it successfully. I think it would all depend what you and your husband are expecting out of this D/s relationship. What is his wants needs and desires from the D/s part time relationship and what are yours? Just questions to ask yourself and him. Are either of you taking the D/s seriously or is it all in fun? I mean honestly people who live the 24/7 D/s lifestyle normally because it is part of who they are. It is part of their attitude, part of their life. I don't know do not want to be harsh just makes me wonder if it is just a sexual kink/fantasy some kind of role play or if you are serious about a part time D/s relationship. Just wanted to give ya some things to think about and if he has the right to punish you or correct your behavior 24/7 and the right to touch you or make advances toward you 24/7 then how does it classify as part time? I mean when does it become part time? I am just confused because you state he has the right to do things 24/7 and then say it is not a 24/7 D/s relationship.