Members Mikayla1 Posted November 3, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 You are WAYYYYY to young to be having these problems! Dump this guy! I see a few problems here: First, you are having to force him to have sex this early in the relationship, something is up. Second, if he asks YOU to pleasure HIM but doesn't want to pleasure you....uh, NO! That doesn't fly at ALL! Third, if he has to watch a porn and THEN asks you to pleasure him - no, this is too weird - get OUT and RUN!Good luck honey!Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chickenmom Posted November 3, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 I agree with everyone. Something is definitely not right. You have nothing holding you together, so find someone you are compatible with. When the right person comes along, you'll know. In the meantime, get out of this relationship. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted November 3, 2006 Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 OK, gotta agree with everyone, you are way too young to have to deal with that kinda crap. I'm assuming y'all live together now?When I was young, I too, found out that things will drastically change when you move in together. The daily grind can get to people, and make the "magic" go away rather quickly in a lot of cases. You really LEARN how a person is when you move in with them. That's why I agree with moving in together. Cuz if you can't get along when you move in together, how would marriage be any different? That's just me though.If that guy is only wanting you to pleasure him, and he doesn't care whether or not you're sexually satisfied, then he needs to hit the curb! If he NEEDS porn to get him excited enough to do anything for you, he's role playing, and that's sad. Porn is a great enhancement, but if one NEEDS it to get off with their partner, chances are they have lost interest. Or he could be addicted to porn. I guess it depends on how much he watches it, alone or with you.To ease into a conversation, I would ask him AWAY from the bedroom, and when you're not horny or mad at him neglecting you. As as non-confrontationally as you can. Try not to use words like "You never", "how come you don't". More like "I've noticed that you seem to" and so on. Talking is the key, as easy as it sounds, it's true. Communication in any sort of relationship, friendship, lovers, parental, whatever, communication as to how actions make you feel need to be told. Otherwise, they won't change, or help you find out why these things hurt you.Breaking up is hard, and not usually pretty, but, think of it this way, if you do decide to break up, then you've set each other free to pursue happiness on both ends. Because, right now, if you're staying together to avoid confrontation, or being single, then you're holding each other back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie glenns_girl Posted November 3, 2006 Author Newbie Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 OK me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now. But in the last 6 months thing have changed in bed. first off we will have sex but he will not cum, he waits till im pleased and then he wants me to give him a handjob or blowjob to finish him off... or he does not want to have sex at all but wants me to pleasure him...second of all.. I feel like I almost have to force him to have sex with me. I have tryed every thing to get him turned on from lingerie,porn,talking sexy every thing. To me it seams like he has lost intrest in me but wants me to please him and usaly when I do he wants a porn in.. Please help is there something wrong with me or is it him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members aussie guy Posted November 3, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 3, 2006 i'd say drop this guy, sounds like to me he has lost interst and only wants you too please him, i think very selfish! i'd find some1 that wanted me if i was you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members riv Posted November 4, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 How is your relationship outside the bedroom? With me that is the whole problem in my marriage..... OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM. Sex is to a relationship what a pool is to a house....an addition to an already nice place to be, something to be enjoyed.... If the house is a mess, I ain't goin in the pool cause I won't enjoy it. if my relationship is a mess Sex is the last thing I want. I can't use sex to clean up the mess. I can however, enjoy sex once the mess is cleaned up it is a by-product of a clean healthy relationship. All too often I see woman to woman advice that goes like this.....Shave your pussy....stick a dildo up your ass and wiggle.... masturbate with a vib that looks like a horse in front of him and if this don't turn him on then leave the no good S O B...he don't love you. That is the advice I see. Men.... ARE....NOT.....WALKING.....DICKS. PUSSY.....IS.....NOT......ALL .....WE ......NEED. WE.....NEED.....LOVE.....AND.....SUPPORT....... OUTSIDE.........THE.........SEXUAL......INVIROMENT.....JUST.....LIKE.......YOU....WOMEN.....DO.....BELIEVE......IT......OR .....NOT.And when that does not happen we shut down. AGAIN.....FUCKING.....IS....A BY-PRODUCT.....OF......A GOOD......AND.......LOVING......RELATIONSHIP. I have had the pleasure of great relationships before so I know what they are. If a man had written your post women from all over the world would have said .....TALK TO HER.....LOVE HER MORE.....ECT. ECT. ECT.Double standard every time... I say this look at the relationship over all....do you want it? Does he want it? If so then Try to talk it out if not then split up its that simple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted November 4, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Uh, Kinky guy, you need to RELAX! You are obviously VERY angry! First, this couple is NOT married - and if they are having this much trouble already, why should they stick together? Second, all we have to go on here is HER side of the story, ergo, we offer advice based on that. If what she says is true, the man is a JERK - NOT ALL MEN - this man - so chill out. Everything said her by me or any other woman is not a walking condemnation of the male species! Third, there is a lot of advice here that does NOT involve shaving, masturbation, dildos or the like - but from personal experience I know, and so do some of the other posters, that this stuff can work if you are in a stagnant relationship with a man who is not taking interest in you.You are correct, that many sexual problems are a bi-product of an unhealthy life in general - but this is a sex site, people basically come here to improve their sex lives - and while this can include fixig the relationship in general, most of the time the question is, "how do I spice up my SEX life" not, "we aren't talking or being civil to each other anymore." If that was the question, the answers would be different! While I can appreciate YOUR situation, not everyone who comes here for advice has the same problems as you. I do not see you offering advice to people, just sticking up for men after what you conceive as an attack! I hope you find the solution to your problems, but based on what you have written here, and the "tone" in which you have presented it, I would wager that if you are the same way in your marriage, that it most assuredly is NOT all your wife's fault. She may be reacting to YOUR anger! Think about that.Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members riv Posted November 4, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Uh, Kinky guy, you need to RELAX! You are obviously VERY angry! First, this couple is NOT married - and if they are having this much trouble already, why should they stick together? Second, all we have to go on here is HER side of the story, ergo, we offer advice based on that. If what she says is true, the man is a JERK - NOT ALL MEN - this man - so chill out. Everything said her by me or any other woman is not a walking condemnation of the male species! Third, there is a lot of advice here that does NOT involve shaving, masturbation, dildos or the like - but from personal experience I know, and so do some of the other posters, that this stuff can work if you are in a stagnant relationship with a man who is not taking interest in you.You are correct, that many sexual problems are a bi-product of an unhealthy life in general - but this is a sex site, people basically come here to improve their sex lives - and while this can include fixig the relationship in general, most of the time the question is, "how do I spice up my SEX life" not, "we aren't talking or being civil to each other anymore." If that was the question, the answers would be different! While I can appreciate YOUR situation, not everyone who comes here for advice has the same problems as you. I do not see you offering advice to people, just sticking up for men after what you conceive as an attack! I hope you find the solution to your problems, but based on what you have written here, and the "tone" in which you have presented it, I would wager that if you are the same way in your marriage, that it most assuredly is NOT all your wife's fault. She may be reacting to YOUR anger! Think about that.MikaylaLIKE I SAID, I'M GONE BUT IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS WORTH A SHIT OUTSIDE THE BEDROOM THEN YOU DON'T NEED ADVICE OR AT LEAST I NEVER HAVE... AGAIN SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU PEOPLE I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN YOU ARE A CLICK. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted November 4, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 4, 2006 Contrary to what you may think, many couples have FANTASTIC lives outside of the bedroom and still have sexual issues. While it is most certainly true that if you are having a HORRIBLE life outside the bedroom, your sex may be not good - I have seen examples (and lived examples) of the reverse.Some couples are best friends, really connect, have that soulmate type of life - but the sex sucks. Either one person is too scared to try things, they get in a rut, or perhaps they don't have it enough. This does not mean that their life outsdide the BR is horrible, just in the BR>Conversely, when a couple fights like cats and dogs, degrade each other, disrespect each other, and sometimes are just not a good fit, they can still have ROCKIN' sex - I know, I had such a relationship. It is not always one sided either - sex can be sex to some people. Or, they might be using good sex as a reason to stay together.There is no one answer to this question or dillemma - I thank you for the idea that it might be something outside of the BR for this, or other, couples - but it is not always the case. I think we offer our life experiences here - and that is what you are doing. Thank you for that.However, do not condemn those who have had other experiences that you have not. Sometimes we have to search a little deeper for the real issue.Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members AndreaPurple Posted November 5, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 5, 2006 Contrary to what you may think, many couples have FANTASTIC lives outside of the bedroom and still have sexual issues. Yup, that'd be my situation right now. My husband and I have the best relationship possible, outside the bedroom. He's the greatest man, husband and father that I know and I know he thinks the world of me and would do absolutely anything to see me happy! But we have issues in the bedroom, we are working on them, but still they are there and it has nothing at all do with our relationship in general. Kinkyguy, I guess you would say our "pool" needs some repairs, you can still swim in it but it's just as much fun as it should be! How's that for an analogy!? LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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