I Am New

[theshyone]

This is a much needed website. I wish I knew about it 5 years ago. My husband told me about and I have been reading the articles. I read the ones on blowjobs,deep throating,anal sex and sexual positioning. I won't say explicit details but we went from our usual 30 minute session to over 2 hours of making love. It was phenominal.

I do have one question- when performing oral sex any tips when your neck gets kinked. I tried doing it on my knees and then laying on my stomach but after about 10 minutes my neck felt kinked.

[theshyone]

Thank you for the advise. It is good to know that 10 min is long, I was trying for a half hour. Well, I am obviously not use to doing this. When I was young sex was a dirty word and something polite young women didn't ask about. When I got married the advise my grandmother gave me was "just lie there and do your wifely duty it will be over with in about a half hour." That worked for about the first month of marriage and then my husband started showing me that sex is more enjoyable with two particapating. I was pretty shy about the whole thing. Eventually I started to loosen up becuase I have a patient husband. There is still much I don't know but it is embarising to talk and even read about it. But I am getting over it slowly.

[calvin]

Hi The Shy One,

welcome to the forum. I am new here too, and it is weird talking about sex so plainly after not doing so for most of my life. I didnt get any bad advice like from your grandmother, but I have always been shy about sex. This forum, and the helpful people like Howard who give advice on it, is really opening up my eyes to, well, to how sex should honest and frank and fun.

I still have some work to do on this, but I'm going to keep coming back, so I hope you do to.

Calvin

[theshyone]

Thank you for the welcome Calvin and I do plan on coming back.

Thank you for the advise Howard. I tried a small pillow last night under my neck and it worked much better. In fact we had a 45 min session with me using my hands and mouth together. I exhausted my poor hubby. It was the first time that he told me that he was too tired. It's hard to explain how that makes me feel but it was good. I have told him plenty of times that I was too tired but I last night I felt like I had power.

I have always felt like I was lacking in the sex department becuase he has more drive than I do but last night I was the instigator and I felt like pleasing my husband even though it wasn't recipocated. In fact I had a hard time going to sleep. Normally I just think about what I going to fix for dinner the next day and I calm down quickly but last night it took me about two hours. I also understood a little the need for toys. Because if I had one then I wouldn't have been left hanging. Although I don't know if I am brave enough to pleasure myself, I always figured that's what you have a husband for. I do want to make it clear that very seldom am I left hanging usually it's the other way around although those times are few.

It is amazing how having the right information is revolutionizing our love life. We have been intimate more times in the last week and a half then we have in the last month. In fact my husband told me this morning that he was tired and needed a break tonight, those are words I have never heard him say. I am not sure if I will give him a break. It's funny it's like I have suddenly become aware that I can be very sexual, I still feel pretty shy about alot of things but it's like I suddenly am not afraid to try. I am feeling different it's hard to explain but I like it.

the shy one

[theshyone]

I also wanted to mention that I read the article on phone sex and in it mentioned talking dirty. I don't comfortable about talking dirty at all especially on the phone. However, I have started talkng more about my desire to my husband when we are alone and that has worked very well. We also have talked about past love making sessions and I have been sure to tell him how great I thought it was and it's amazing how that has lead to other things, until we are too busy to talk.

the shy one

[whittibo]

last night I was the instigator and I felt like pleasing my husband even though it wasn't recipocated. In fact I had a hard time going to sleep. Normally I just think about what I going to fix for dinner the next day and I calm down quickly but last night it took me about two hours. I also understood a little the need for toys. Because if I had one then I wouldn't have been left hanging. Although I don't know if I am brave enough to pleasure myself, I always figured that's what you have a husband for. I do want to make it clear that very seldom am I left hanging

UGH.. that was ME last night too. I was none too happy about it though. I try to tell myself it's great that I pleased him, but when he just rolls over and goes to sleep, oh, wait, he rolled over and took sleeping PILLS. (he's been having a hard time sleeping for the last few weeks) Anyway, he did wake up about midnight and cuddle and told me sorry for falling sleep. But I just hope that isn't a common occurrence for myself OR you.

[theshyone]

[quote name='whittibo'

UGH.. that was ME last night too. I was none too happy about it though. I try to tell myself it's great that I pleased him, but when he just rolls over and goes to sleep, oh, wait, he rolled over and took sleeping PILLS. (he's been having a hard time sleeping for the last few weeks) Anyway, he did wake up about midnight and cuddle and told me sorry for falling sleep. But I just hope that isn't a common occurrence for myself OR you.

If it becomes common talk to him about it. Women may not like to admit it but we need to make love as much as men although, it is only now that I am starting to admit that and feel like I can talk to my husband about my needs. You might try waking him up early in the morning. When my son (who is now 2 1/2) was a baby my husband and I never went to bed at the same time. But I was sure to be there in the morning when I could, even if it was just for a cuddle. For awhile I was feeling like everytime we got naked together it would be for sex,and I felt alot of pressure becuase his sex drive is alot higher than my. Things started changing after a friend suggested that I cuddle naked with my husband. Cuddling only and that took the pressure off. After awhile we would start with the naked cuddle and then it would lead to something else sometimes and sometimes is wouldn't. But it felt good to have him enfolded in my arms our bodies pressed together and he said the same thing. It was like we melted into each other. You might try that.

For my husband and I, it was important to have physcial contact and couple time. I noticed that things became tense and strained between us when I let things come in the way of our couple time. Which in this busy life is very easy to do and it takes a concious effort that can be very fun and rewarding to keep time for your spouse.

Good luck,

The shy one

[whittibo]

Well I have been working him too hard. We have a lot going on, and I understand he's tired, but I just wanted to cuddle a while and he just wanted to sleep. He did come home from work between jobs to see me and cuddle with me. He had to run up and do the neighbors house, so he came by first. And low and behold, we were laying on the bed cuddling and he fell asleep again, so he really is tired. I have to just understand he's doing what he can, and this has only just started, it's kind of a weird time for us, but hey, no better time then the present.

[theshyone]

WHittibo, be patient all marriages goes through cyles. It is fun when you are on the upside and not so fun when you are in the slumps. But the key I have found is communication. Good Luck

New Question:

Well, let me just say that life is really good and we haven't been this intimate since we were newlyweds. WHOO WEE. My husband said he needs to take sometime off work just to catch up on sleep and work the desire out me. That was nice to hear.

I have been experimenting with oral sex and am getting much better in fact my husband almost came in mouth last night and that has never happened before. So here's my question: is semen burning as it goes down your throat normal? I wonder if I am just irritating my throat by the deep throating and need to give it a break? Ideas anyone?

The shy one

[whittibo]

I doubt I get anywhere near deep throating, I can get about 4.5" in, but then I start to gag. I have tried a bit harder since reading these articles here, but still doubt I am getting close.

However, I have always finished my husband off, (unless we have wanted to continue in another fashion) and it's never burned. 99% of the time it's not unpleasant at all, it's rather a huge turn on for me. But 1% of the time, there is a weird taste to it. I did wonder if perhaps it's if he has been cumming too much, and that's what changes the taste, but I don't think so. From reading here, apparently what he eats can change it??

But I have never had any burning ever.

[theshyone]

Thanks, I guess I am just trying to hard. Maybe I should give it a break for abit.

The Shy one

[theshyone]

Howard Thank you for the two replies. You gave some excellent advice about talking to your partner about what you like. I guess the problem is that for so long I have been use to the same old thing and that has been good enough. But I will admit that now that we are breaking out of the rut and trying new things making love has been taken on a greater pleasure, it is something that I actually look forward to instead of a duty.

You were right about the toys, we got two and they definitely enhance the experience. :)

About the semen burning, I figured out that I had just irritated my throat by too much oral sex. I rested for two days and I was fine. Live and learn.

The Shy one

[sre_usa]

This is a much needed website. I wish I knew about it 5 years ago. My husband told me about and I have been reading the articles. I read the ones on blowjobs,deep throating,anal sex and sexual positioning. I won't say explicit details but we went from our usual 30 minute session to over 2 hours of making love. It was phenominal.

I do have one question- when performing oral sex any tips when your neck gets kinked. I tried doing it on my knees and then laying on my stomach but after about 10 minutes my neck felt kinked.

very nice but is better way to do it

[theshyone]

If you get a cramp in your neck, or even your jaw, " STOP!" This is about having fun, and no one says you can't stop and take a rest. You can keep him excited with your hands, and fingers. You can talk to him and ask him questions to use different muscles in your jaw, or neck. You can rotate tht neck around to get out the cramp while talking to him.

Try doing it on your side, in bed, with him doing you in the classic 69 position. Its easier on both your necks. Oh, you both have to learn how to lift your legs at the knee to give each other room to put your heads closer to your genitals, but hey, so what? If one side gets tired, you can roll over and do it on the other side for awhile. If you have a high bed, have him sit on the the bed, and you sit on the floor while sucking his cock. Or have him stand on something to elevate his height to your head level, so you can suck his cock without bending your neck. Think he won't find something ?

Part of the fun of love making is learning where and how to do it the longest, the easiest, the most times, how to tease, how to flirt, how to hold off an orgasm until your lover is ready to scream " uncle ", etc. So spend some time with her, learning all these things. It can take a couple of life times, but don't be in a hurry. When it comes to playing with your lover, quality beats frequency every time.

Howard

Thanks for the tips and advise, I appreciate it. next time we get romantic I'll try it.

the shy one