Too Much Of A Good Thing

[SpiderQueen14]

OK I think there is something wrong with me.. REALLY.. my sex drive is kind on getting on my nerves right now.. I know it sounds like I'm crazy right.. Since I had my last baby my sex drive has been off the roof more then ever.. Its like I feel that's all I think about in between everything I do.. Does this happen?? Even if I have sex which my hubby will have with me almost everyday its not enough I will still pleasure myself after he leaves for work and then want sex again. I feel so bad cause he tries I know he does but since he works 2 jobs I feel I should leave him alone but I CAN'T.. yesterday I even went into a chat room and "role played" That's when I said OK WHAT THE HELL is wrong with me?? Is this normal? I feel like I'm a sex addict or something? When I was single I had never been faithful to ANY man.. I would always love the challange of keeping 2 men and loved the "power" I had to be able to stop any man in his tracks.. Well now 4 kids later.... doesn't happen too much unless I'm alone! lol but this issue of my sex drive is getting to me and I think if I worked outside like I use to..( became a stay @home mom 2 yrs ago) what would happen... and that thought scared the shit out of me... as I love my hubby w/ all that I am...HELP someone.. what is going on w/ me? has anyone experienced this "battle" w/ themselves.. any advice I'd be thankful...

[Tyger]

If you're feeling like you can't get enough sex, and, having thoughts that are uncontrollable, then I would say that you may indeed becoming a sex addict. Most sex addicts are ones who not only can't get enough sex, even with a higher than normal sex life, but they also enjoy the thrill of the chase more so than normal people.

First I would suggest that you go see your OB/GYN to have your hormone levels tested. Are you on birth control? If so, there could be huge amounts of testosterone in your system, causing your urges. Women do have low levels of testosterone, but too much can cause some odd and varying side-effects. Even after a baby, hormone levels can be out of whack for quite a while. So, it's really hard to tell. Your GYN can do hormonal checks on you to find out if everything there is fine.

I'm also going to strongly suggest some counselling. Being honest about your feelings with hubby is very important, tell him that you need to go see someone, because you just don't feel "right" anymore.

Since your husband has to work 2 jobs, I am assuming money is tight. There are clinics out there, everywhere, that offer free and reduced prices for sessions. You just have to do some research into it. Call a hotline, try, try, try. There are ways.

*Best Wishes!*

[Mikayla1]

IMO, what you are experiencing is normal! Sex addiction is something rare and all-consuming! People who are true "sex addicts" literally can not function if they are not thinking of or engaging in sex. They will find sex in all forms - personal, affairs, internet, prostitutes and the like. While your jaunt on to the internet chat room "could" be a first step into you being out of control, I would not characterize this as abnormal behavior.

As Tyger wisely suggests, go get your hormone levels tested. You are at an age for an upswing in sex libido and are newly married, so this seems normal to me.

Many people have such low sex drives and that is much harder to fix or deal with - so in a way, your situation is not that dire. By that I mean, you can refocus your urge for sex somewhere else, or deal with the urges (if you really feel they are severe) and go get counseling as suggested.

I would suggest taking the least evasive road first - just monitor and be cognizant of your actions, desires, lustfullness and make sure you are not crossing important "boundaries." Sex addiction is like everything else, it comes in stages. If you feel yourself going overboard, get some help or more advice.

Good luck!

[SpiderQueen14]

Thanks gals.. We are one crazy couple! After 7 yrs married we are loosing our minds now!(him with his school girl thing he wouldn't say and me well this! LOL LOL LOL) I actually was talking to my husband today about going to see my doc about my hormones and he said no I'm fine but I don't think so and I'm not on Birth Control so it can't be that..

I have thought what the heck is going on.. I think maybe being his sex drive being lower then mine is making mine even higher.. does that even make any sense? I don't know what to think but I'm going to call my GYN for an appt. OK this might sound silly but what do I say..but its a bit embrassing to go to my Doc and say well I have issues right now... OH MY GOODNESS.. I actually do have to call her as its time for my annual check-up... thanks guys for any help..

[Tyger]

Trust me when I tell you that, unless they're fresh out of medical school, GYNs see it all rather quickly! Not much shocks an OB/GYN. And, since your OB/GYN has seen the most inner secretive places in and on your body, then, really, what is there to hide?

[cdwaldorf]

I have been through a similiar experience. I just had my baby (around 3wks) and I noticed that my body and my mind was only focusing on having sex with my husband. I even noticed that my orgasms were more intense and easier to have. My mind would run wild during the day (I stay home with 3 children) about what I would do with my husband. He would walk in the door and I would jump him before the door was closed. I would also try to hit him up again that night. It was bad and I my husband did everything he could to keep up with me but I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. I know that after I had my baby that I became so much more aware of my body. I also was a little insecure b/c I didn't thing of myself as a attractive women anymore. I was now a mother and I think sex validated the fact that I was not just a mother. I knew that once I started thinking about other men that it was out of control. I was determined to not let this rule my mind and body. Don't get me wrong I love thinking of sex and my husband but there are appropriate times and places and I did not want to be over consumed by sex. It has been a hard process but I can now easily turn it off and on like a switch. It has really been a gift b/c there is not this long four play to get my engine going (unless that is what we want). Our love life is the best it has every been and it keeps getting better. I hope this helps.

[krisleightate]

I know how you feel, my sexdrive is through the roof right now.

[just4myman]

First off - congratulations on the new baby! When I was working and my husband wasn't he wanted sex all the time. He would try every night, but I was sooo exhausted and had to wake up soo early that I never wanted it - I just wanted sleep. Now I have been off work for the summer and he is working long 12 hour days and it's me now that wants sex all the time and yes I fantasize all day long about what I could do to him, but when bedtime comes he's the one that's too tired. I go back to work next monday and then in a few weeks when this baby is born I will be off for another 6 weeks. I have found that doing something to really keep my mind busy helps to keep it off of sex all day long. I will do sodoku puzzles, gardening, cleaning, painting or just anything that makes me think. As for your role playing - I did that once when me and hubby first got married, but only did it a few times and then it got boring for me. I don't think you're a sex addict, but like someone else suggested maybe get your hormones checked.

[adaisyandarose]

Welcome to the 30's...my sex drive went through the roof in my 30's and that is when I discovered that I was a squirter. Enjoy it.