Wifes Toys

[bill14729]

I found her toys and question her about them like where she got them she said a girl at work sold them to her A toy party catalog. I feel like she was is cheating on me. She told me she thur them away but I found them again .I havn't said anything to her so now I really fell left out and cheated. Should I feel this Way ?

[thurisas]

I will add that it wasn't right for her to lie to you. There is no real excuse for that in a relationship which by its very definition requires a level of trust. Howard is right, though, there is no reason for you to feel cheated on with the toys. Chances are, if you start getting into using them with her, you'll be in for some really great times.

Thurisas.

[krisleightate]

You shouldn't feel like you have been cheated on.

She shouldn't have lied.

They are an aide use them as such.

[Tyger]

Of course she should not have lied to you. However, you are making a big deal out of really nothing. She probably told you that because, from your tone, and what you wrote, I have a feeling you blew up at her, making a huge issue out of plastic and jelly. She wanted to make you feel better. HOwever, again, she should NOT have lied to you. What she should have said is "grow up, I'm keeping them, too bad". It's not like she was hiding "Sven" in the closet, feeding him, and having him come out while you were gone.

Sex toys are made to be sexual enhancements in the bedroom, not replacing you. Do you think she considers it cheating when you jack off in the shower? Same exact thing. To say you've been cheated on is a bit on the immature side. I'm not trying to be disrespectful or insulting to you here either. But, cheating is when someone in a relationship, and they either have sex or start another romantic relationship with another HUMAN BEING. Sex toys are great, but they can't offer companionship, love, affection, and friendship. Nothing ever replaces the feel of skin-on-skin contact.

I guess it could kinda be compared to a man and his workshop. He has tons of tools in it, all for different things. But, unless he uses his workshop on a daily basis, why is it that he keeps adding tools? Because they bring him pleasure. He likes them, and loves to see the results. I know that that comparison is not sexually based, but I hope you can kinda get the idea what I mean?

My husband was very much like you. His whole attitude, when we first got together was that, if you're having great sex, why do you NEED sex toys? I told him that I don't NEED them, but I do enjoy using them, and I was keeping what I had. He could either learn to use them, or not. His choice. Now, he's one of the first ones to say "What do you want to use tonight?"

She's having fun exploring, learning how to please herself, and have fun, which, in the long-run, you reap the benefits of. As suggested, try using them WITH her, or let her show you how she loves to use them. You WILL learn something!! And, that's what sex is all about!! Teaching and being taught how to please each other! And always keeping it interesting & fun!

[Mikayla1]

Well.....I am of the mind that lying is bad....HOWEVER, it is her right to have those toys, and if you came at her with the attitude that they are wrong or evil or disgusting, then of course she would lie about keeping them. Many women NEED to have sex toys for the quick release and sexual enhancement - just like men need to masturbate even when they are in good relationships.

Toys are NEVER a replacement for a real man - you have no reason to feel that way.

If you give the toys a chance - as in play together - you may find it extremely erotic and sensual and it could possibly open up a whole new sex life for you both!

[grubbie]

I found her toys and question her about them like where she got them she said a girl at work sold them to her A toy party catalog. I feel like she was is cheating on me. She told me she thur them away but I found them again .I havn't said anything to her so now I really fell left out and cheated. Should I feel this Way ?

You shouldn't fell that way we all need to have some private fun time and she will most likely find some things out about herself that will help you both out.Then ask her to show you what she can do with those and have some great fun

[Deveninny]

The point you've all missed....she does masterbate. Some women do not. If she has needs that she's not sharing, that would be more of a concern. Why not approach her with;

"Hey, I was looking around and stumbled upon some toys (with a smile)...why didn't you share them with me?" Or if she's to embarrassed to use them in front of you, come up with the same approach explaining you found them. Yet ask, "I found some toys.... would you mind if I experimented with you using them or would you please show me how to use them properly?" In either case, make it about her. She obviously shy to have had them in front of you...

With that mindset, she will feel less embarrassed and much less "picked on" for it.

For instance, my current SO and I use her toys together. She has inserted one in either her vagina or anus and had me in the other hole, just remember to use lotsa lube and condoms on the toy if you venture anally. The feeling I got was incredible...nothing like I've ever experienced before. Not only that...if she uses it clitoraly while your inside of her, you will definately feel her orgasm...that's postively the most incredible feeling I've ever felt.

Best Wishes....

[Tyger]

You have a great point, but I don't think that was the meaning of his post. He's probably aware that she masturbates. But, like many men, he is thinking that the toys are a replacement, instead of an enhancement. I believe that insecurity in their own techniques in the bedroom have a lot to do with this. Since many toys are more realistic looking, men do get quite intimidated by a simple piece of rubber/jelly/cyberskin. The more realistic, the worse it is. Especially if the phallic item is LARGER than they are! My hubby prefers that I use less realistic toys, and he KNOWS what I have in my toy box!

My hubby was the same way. He thought of them as a replacement, up until rather recently. When I joined TooTimid, I was posting here and there, reading a lot. Then, I got onto the Review Team. I had told him that I wanted to do this. Helping people with their sex lives, and also our own, which was suffering. He's gotten more and more into it now. More so, in fact, than I could've ever dreamed him to do!!

I've always complimented him on his style and technique. He rocks my world, and knows it. But, he's of an "old school" way of thinking. And even directly said that "if our sex life is so good, then you shouldn't NEED toys." That's when I sat him down and explained to him, that even in the beginning of our relationship, I told him that I loved ADDING toys into the bedroom. Never have I used toys to REPLACE a lover. Of course I would always pick one-on-one sex with him over a toy. But, having more options and fun in the bedroom adds to the pleasure for BOTH people.

That's really what adult toys are all about!!

[Valntyn]

I feel like she was is cheating on me. ....... Should I feel this Way ?

The point you've all missed....

As his question was point-blank asked, I don't think there was anything that we "missed" and I think all answers above were spot-on. Each of us interprets things differently, though, so hopefully the original poster will appreciate your take on his post as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

bill14729: We'd love to hear how things are going with you. Did you talk with your wife... find out why she lied about having them (she may just have been embarrassed)... use them with her? I hope everything sorted itself out well with you two and that you're able to play together more comfortably now!

[pappyld04]

An inanimate object is not a replacement so there is no need for the anger or jealousy. The lies should be addressed, though. Personally I buy toys for me and my partner. Although not every one of them lives up to the expectations, the ones that do are very enjoyable. You might as well give them to her and get your moneys worth. Joining her while playing with them will greatly enhance your sex life. I'd go buy her some more and get 1-2 for yourself.