Members lickher Posted September 15, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2007 It seems that most of the advice here basiclly says stay away from threesomes.So heres my situation.My SO has said she would like to be with another woman during a conversation we were having.My response was could I watch? So she says you could join in and I'm immedietly excited so we continue talking and she says but you cant fuck her cause that would break my heart.She told a friend of hers and the girl is all for it,I've never met this other woman and my SO says I can do oral on both of them and use toys but I can only have intercourse with her.I've kindly declined because in my view in the heat of battle if this other woman wants cock how is a guy supposed to say no.My SO keeps asking when can we do this and i keep stalling cause i see a train wreck coming and i've told her my worries and all she says is I will make sure you dont do her.So what do i do?I like most men fantisize about being with 2 women but i dont want to lose what i have.Should i take a chance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted September 15, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2007 If you don't think you have the self control to not follow the ground rules that are being set, then you're right, you shouldn't do it. The main thing here is that all parties have to know what the ground rules are going into this venture, all parties have to think through what is going to come after the fact, and all parties have to be comfortable with both the ground rules and the aftermath. I don't think threesomes are necessarily a bad thing and like all guys I have had my share of fantasies about them as well. The question is how will your relationship with both your SO and the other person fare in the face of such a thing?Thurisas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted September 15, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2007 I am one of those persons who has had threesomes and talked much about the problems that a threesome can cause. I have, however, also said "in the right cicumstances" a threesome can work well. Your girlfriend seems like she already has a firm grasp on exactly what she does and does not want to happen. She wants to be with the woman, she wants you to join in but SEX with her is out of the picture. This is a very generous and specific request. I think if you care for your girlfriend that you would definitely be able to abide by this request - no matter how much the other girl wants "your cock." This is a situation that many men would kill to have - no matter what the restraints placed upon them. It seems as though you have a decision to make - have the chance at a threesome where you can do oral and touch both girls and fuck your girlfriend, OR, have nothing at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted September 15, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 15, 2007 Thurisas is my husband and I agree with him that threesomes aren't necessarily a bad thing. He hit several main points spot-on, too: all parties need to discuss the rules, what's going to happen in the 'afterwards' as well as the 'during,' and all parties need to be comfortable with everything discussed that's to happen.You're obviously not comfortable with one of the points: you don't feel you can keep yourself from penis-insertion to the third party in the heat of the moment. I don't find anything wrong with your thinking. If you're not comfortable with that... if you feel you know how much control you do/don't have in the heat of the moment, then you're smart to decline.Your SO has already said that it'd break her heart if you fucked the other -- how would she feel during the 'after' if in the heat of the moment, she changes her mind and tells you to fuck the other girl, tells you it's okay? Would she still feel that way in the 'after' or would she regret having said it and blame you for not having the control you had already told her you didn't have?If you're sticking to your decision to decline because you're not comfortable, she's got to respect that and let it go. She's also got to remember that (hopefully) if there was something SHE wasn't comfortable with, YOU'D understand and let it go.If you do decide to hold the threesome, though, I hope everything goes as you plan it initially and I hope you have a great time! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lickher Posted September 17, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2007 Thurisas is my husband and I agree with him that threesomes aren't necessarily a bad thing. He hit several main points spot-on, too: all parties need to discuss the rules, what's going to happen in the 'afterwards' as well as the 'during,' and all parties need to be comfortable with everything discussed that's to happen.You're obviously not comfortable with one of the points: you don't feel you can keep yourself from penis-insertion to the third party in the heat of the moment. I don't find anything wrong with your thinking. If you're not comfortable with that... if you feel you know how much control you do/don't have in the heat of the moment, then you're smart to decline.Your SO has already said that it'd break her heart if you fucked the other -- how would she feel during the 'after' if in the heat of the moment, she changes her mind and tells you to fuck the other girl, tells you it's okay? Would she still feel that way in the 'after' or would she regret having said it and blame you for not having the control you had already told her you didn't have?If you're sticking to your decision to decline because you're not comfortable, she's got to respect that and let it go. She's also got to remember that (hopefully) if there was something SHE wasn't comfortable with, YOU'D understand and let it go.If you do decide to hold the threesome, though, I hope everything goes as you plan it initially and I hope you have a great time!thanks for all the advice.I guess if the only rule is no SEX with the other girl and my SO will be there I should be ok and i have to be the one to uphold that rule.I'll behave to get the chance to be with two women.Part 2 to this is no1 I will not meet the other woman till the event.no.2 none of us have ever had a threesome.no.3 both women are bi-curous but neither have ever been with another woman.So in the big picture I guess it will be a learning event for all of us.If we do it I'll write about the outcome good or bad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted September 17, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 17, 2007 thanks for all the advice.I guess if the only rule is no SEX with the other girl and my SO will be there I should be ok and i have to be the one to uphold that rule.I'll behave to get the chance to be with two women.Part 2 to this is no1 I will not meet the other woman till the event.no.2 none of us have ever had a threesome.no.3 both women are bi-curous but neither have ever been with another woman.So in the big picture I guess it will be a learning event for all of us.If we do it I'll write about the outcome good or badHave fun & be safe. We'll be here to read and learn from your experience when/if you're comfortable writing it and we'll be here to cheer you on or console you, whichever is needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lickher Posted September 20, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 thanks for all the advice.I guess if the only rule is no SEX with the other girl and my SO will be there I should be ok and i have to be the one to uphold that rule.I'll behave to get the chance to be with two women.Part 2 to this is no1 I will not meet the other woman till the event.no.2 none of us have ever had a threesome.no.3 both women are bi-curous but neither have ever been with another woman.So in the big picture I guess it will be a learning event for all of us.If we do it I'll write about the outcome good or badWell its on for this weekend!! I just got a call from the girlfriend of my SO asking me if I was willing to try.I still have not met her and to be honest I felt strange talking to a person that I never met about it on the phone.Wish me luck I hope everything goes well and come monday theres no hard feelings Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 Good luck & don't forget to stock up on condoms! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members krisleightate Posted September 20, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 Good luck and remember no glove no love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mike_d Posted September 25, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 25, 2007 Well Licker? how did it go and how is your relationship post 3some? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lickher Posted September 25, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted September 25, 2007 Well Licker? how did it go and how is your relationship post 3some?well it was ok.all rules were followed.i think we tryed too many new things at once.SO couldnt bring herself to go down on another girl,they had no trouble kissing and touching and SO used the bunny on the other girl but any oral was done by me.It seemed that for the most part there was always one person sitting and watching.my relationship seems to be ok post threesome although there were some questions asked of me afterwards like what did she taste like and did she cum while i was licking her but for the most part it was ok.one thing that was a little odd i had a hard time having sex with my girlfriend while the other girl was sitting there watching.i never had sex before while some woman was sitting there doing herself with a sex toy.i would like to try again but it was not the best sex i ever had Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 26, 2007 Report Share Posted September 26, 2007 Glad to hear that it went relatively well. Hope everything is still good! Even if it doesn't happen again, at least you can say you've tried it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Subtleinquiry Posted September 30, 2007 Members Report Share Posted September 30, 2007 Licker, I have a question, was it mentally hard to concentrate in the deed? for your girlfriend, did the other girl have to be good looking? for you? I associate sex so much with mental state that I would like to learn how do you control this..I have a great imagination, and I might be able to cyber in a threesome (never done it, but I can try)...but in person...how do you let go?Subtlely curious.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 30, 2007 Report Share Posted September 30, 2007 Sublteinquiry,I would be very careful as far as Threesomes and Cybering. If you're in a committed relationship, you really should read the rest of the Threesome forum. It takes a lot for a relationship to withstand the after effects of a threesome. This forum has the good, the bad, and the middleground in it. By your posts, and WADR, I seriously have doubts that you are confident in yourself enough to be able to handle the effects of after one. It's great to ask quiestions and learn, don't get me wrong. I'm not meaning this to be insulting, it's just the "tone" I am getting.As far as Cybering, many view Cybering online, while you're in a committed relationship, as cheating. Now, if your BF is there, and doesn't mind, that's another. However, again the whole "can you handle what happens afterwards" comes into play. There are nagging questions that the woman that is IN the relationship that keep going thru her mind (in the case of MFF), and same goes for the man in a MMF Threesome.Not only does it take partners that are seriously confident, but also confident in their relationships too.Best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lickher Posted October 1, 2007 Author Members Report Share Posted October 1, 2007 Licker, I have a question, was it mentally hard to concentrate in the deed? for your girlfriend, did the other girl have to be good looking? for you? I associate sex so much with mental state that I would like to learn how do you control this..I have a great imagination, and I might be able to cyber in a threesome (never done it, but I can try)...but in person...how do you let go?Subtlely curious..Yes it was very hard to concentrate.First off I was worried about the only rule that was put down,Me not being allowed to penatrate the other woman so I was keeping my mind on that rule.Both girls were average looking my girl friend having the upper hand in that category.I still think the major thing about it was no experiance in this for any of us and both girls were never with other women.I compare it with having a party thats going flat.It seemed that someone was always unattended and bored.As far as my post threesome relationship with my girlfriend it seems fine.She said this weekend maybe we can try again sometime but she says that she only feels comfortable with this same woman.I in a way have no problem with this but im concerned that things may loosen up the next time and im still worried about breaking that one rule.As for letting go to tell you the truth I was so nervous i was glad when it was over however being a red blooded american man the thought of one on one with the other woman has crossed my mind but i know it would ruin my relationship with my girlfriend so I try not to think of it.The three of us have done cyber a couple of times and to be honest i never thought it would hold my interest however i love it.Only thing about cyber I feel its nothing more than assisted masterbation cause in the end your the only one physically touching you.But I do enjoy it and I dont feel its cheating as both my girlfriend and myself do it with others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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