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Iluvcyndi

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I just stumbled on this site yesterday after looking at sites that sell toys.

We have been married 22 years, been together 22 and a half. Right now we are at a very stressful and sad time in our relationship. We have spent the last 9 months caring for our youngest son, (a twin) who was diagnosed with non hodgkins lymphoma in January. Needless to say that has been the overwhelmingly most important factor in our lives. He was doing well for a while however in May he relapsed. From that point on nothing the doctors tired worked and in August we were told that if the latest treatment didn't work there was not much more the doctors could do. We found out in early September that the treatment didn't work and the cancer had spread. We brought him home as he wished, and on October 3rd, the day before his 19th birthday he passed away.

Needless to say my wife and I are both very devestated. We have however not made the mistake of pulling away from each other and are trying to focus on helping each other through this time. It may seem strange that we would be interested in sex after going through this, but being able to connect physically with each other and share our love has helped in some small way to deal with the pain that the death of a child has brought to us.

I am looking forward to sharing others experiences as well as our own.

Rod

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I am truly, very sorry for your loss. You and your wife are proof that when ordinary people are put into extraordinary situations extraordinary things can be done. In this case it is that you didn't let your relationship be consumed or torn apart and for that you should be commended. That you helped your son and each other through this situation for so long is truly an extraordinary thing. As far as connecting sexually, this is not an odd thing but rather a normal one. Many people feel more in touch and connected that way when they are grieving. Please, feel welcome here and don't be afraid to contribute as well to these boards. Best wishes,

Thurisas.

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I am so sorry to hear about your loss, but know that you are welcome here

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My deepest condolences for your family's loss. Parents aren't meant to bury their children, and I am saddened for you, I truly am.

It's normal and common for people to push loved ones away when someone that we love dies. I did it when my dad died with my ex husband (we were living together at the time). I brushed him aside dealing with my own grief. With things like that, I am very private. One of my dear friends actually pulled me aside and told me that I really should let him in, and allow him to help me thru this. It took a long time to do, but, now, after something really sad, I really do try to open up and allow people to help.

Dealing with your own grief is extremely hard and painful, dealing with 2 people's grief, especially those of a parent, seems almost impossible! Let people in, be kind to each other, support each other, remember the good times, share, and just hold each other. It will take time, but your son is always in your hearts.

Best wishes and bright blessings!

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Welcome, Rod. I am so sorry for your loss. Being intimate with your wife is a healthy way of pulling together and dealing with such a huge loss. That seemed like the only way I could comfort my husband after he lost his mother. Take care,

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