Totally Abstinent, And Totally Frustrated.

[Jo Savage]

So, growing up I was always taught right from wrong. I was always told that you should wait until marriage for sex, which I still believe in. But now that I'm getting older and I'm feeling different in my body, I really want sex, or at least what I think sex is. I tried masturbating a few years ago and I felt absolutely horrible about it the next morning, and I never did it again for a long time. I read some church literature and it pretty much said masturbation is bad and don't do it, but I feel like its too much. So I resumed it and eventually got over my guilt, but now I'm even more frustrated. Its good, but it makes me want more, and I don't want to go giving my body away.

So my question is what should I do to alleviate the want? I am currently trying to obtain my own toy, but being in my parent's house still, I am too cautious to outright order something and risk them finding it. I feel bad about my horniness, but I like trying to satisfy it.. but I never do. Since I haven't gotten a toy, what can I do to please myself?

[brandyfan411]

You sound EXACTLY like me except my parents believe in masturbation. I am also waiting until I get married. There's nothing wrong with wanting to pleasure yourself. The Lord DESIGNED our bodies to react this way. I know what you're going through Jo. Getting your first toy will most likely alleviate your problems, it does mine. Hey, I can't always orgasm but it's so fun trying lol.

What you do (I'm at home for now until I go off to college) is go to a adult store. If you can drive (I'm sure you can since this is an adult,meaning 18+, site), look up the closest store to you. Get what you want and find a way to get it into the house. I carry big purses so I just took my stuff out the packages and took it in. I hide my stuff in my closet. Nobody could find anything in it but me because it's a mess in there....it's like that on purpose.Also, if you order from this site, the package is plain so just grab the package and hid your toys. Hey, you're entitled to your own privacy!!

When you get ready to use your toy, just clean it off (which you have to do anyways). Then repeat and wrap it up and hid it again.

You'll be fine =-]!! Hope this helps,

Vicky

[pappyld04]

You sound EXACTLY like me except my parents believe in masturbation. I am also waiting until I get married. There's nothing wrong with wanting to pleasure yourself. The Lord DESIGNED our bodies to react this way. I know what you're going through Jo. Getting your first toy will most likely alleviate your problems, it does mine. Hey, I can't always orgasm but it's so fun trying lol.

What you do (I'm at home for now until I go off to college) is go to a adult store. If you can drive (I'm sure you can since this is an adult,meaning 18+, site), look up the closest store to you. Get what you want and find a way to get it into the house. I carry big purses so I just took my stuff out the packages and took it in. I hide my stuff in my closet. Nobody could find anything in it but me because it's a mess in there....it's like that on purpose.Also, if you order from this site, the package is plain so just grab the package and hid your toys. Hey, you're entitled to your own privacy!!

When you get ready to use your toy, just clean it off (which you have to do anyways). Then repeat and wrap it up and hid it again.

You'll be fine =-]!! Hope this helps,

Vicky

I like that lather, rinse, repeat note. It applies to use and care of your toys!!

[Mikayla1]

I get so upset when I hear how so many parents are messing up children with incorrect Bible nonsense! I had this debate once with an advid Bible follower and ended up showing him how the Bible talks about pleasure of the body and how the body is an instrument to please.

It will take a while to get over this feeling unfortunately, cause it sounds like your parents really ingrained it into your brain. So, what do you do? Honey, if you do not want to take a chance with sending a toy to your home (or your parent's home) then use what you got. A shower head or water out of the tap works wonderfully, fingers, body massagers (you can get at Wal-mart) are a Godsend for those who can't get toys yet, good ole' humping your hand or pillow - all these things are great.

IF you are contemplating staying a virgin (and there is a whole article on this here in the Article section) meaning, you do not want to insert anything - then don't. If you are thinking that it doesn't matter to your definition of virginity, then take Howard's suggestion about the sending it to a friend. THere are ways to get what you need! (gee, I sound like a drug dealer!)

[Jo Savage]

I get so upset when I hear how so many parents are messing up children with incorrect Bible nonsense! I had this debate once with an advid Bible follower and ended up showing him how the Bible talks about pleasure of the body and how the body is an instrument to please.

It will take a while to get over this feeling unfortunately, cause it sounds like your parents really ingrained it into your brain. So, what do you do? Honey, if you do not want to take a chance with sending a toy to your home (or your parent's home) then use what you got. A shower head or water out of the tap works wonderfully, fingers, body massagers (you can get at Wal-mart) are a Godsend for those who can't get toys yet, good ole' humping your hand or pillow - all these things are great.

Well, its not my parents who taught me that. I've never talked to them about masturbation. Way to awkward for me. I don't really know where they stand on masturbation. I just picked up some church literature and wrote to a christian magazine for girls I had once. Both of them said it was bad, and of course I wasn't gonna ask the parents so (for a while) I took what they said to heart.. I'm pretty much over any guilt I had. I rarely feel bad about it these days. its just actually getting a toy.

It sucks, but the closest thing to me is a Spencer's and nothing looks very enticing in there. but the 'rents might be going away somewhere after the holidays. Oppourtunity is knocking!

Thanks eveybody for all the encouraging advice. It really helps.

[DelewareGuy]

nice to know this site caters to cry babies- grow up will you-

[Jo Savage]

What on earth is your problem ITUofD? I came here to ask for advice. If something I said offended you then don't read it. You're the only rude person I've seen here so far and not even on my third day here.

[Kinky Twinkie]

Well, its not my parents who taught me that. I've never talked to them about masturbation. Way to awkward for me. I don't really know where they stand on masturbation. I just picked up some church literature and wrote to a christian magazine for girls I had once. Both of them said it was bad, and of course I wasn't gonna ask the parents so (for a while) I took what they said to heart.. I'm pretty much over any guilt I had. I rarely feel bad about it these days. its just actually getting a toy.

It sucks, but the closest thing to me is a Spencer's and nothing looks very enticing in there. but the 'rents might be going away somewhere after the holidays. Oppourtunity is knocking!

Thanks eveybody for all the encouraging advice. It really helps.

Usually the answers you get from the christian life style on why not to do it are pretty weak. I got the same experinces pretty much, I penticostal and wife catholic. we masturbate. As am avid bible researcher, I studied up on this like I did on my interest in paranormal and there isn't much there in regards to not doing it. in fact if you really study the bible and those texts no longer included ( like the catholic bible has more books then the canon) or those texts that are mentioned in the bible books but not part of the biblical books ( jasher, jubilees, enoch, etc) you won't find much either. You will get personal opinion by authers implied but when you get down right to it many of these people we see as heros were pretty horny fellows doing multiple women ( wives and cuncabines).

In fact how many pastors seem to keep it in their pants? Yup sexuality is part of the gift God created for us.

I was told don't do it, wait, then when I went to the premarrage class the father was like 'Have sex, do it, enjoy it". Now I like "Uh, gosh I do but I feel guilty and then feel a need to pray and ask forgiveness". And for what? I did what God made us to do. where the sin?

Standard answer "gee, don't know but I was told blah blah"

So dont feel guilty, you can be moral and still enjoy sexuality. Yes there some forbidden practices layed down by the might maker himself like beastiality. We don't always like some of the rules like unnatural sexual practices where people of the same gender get it on and some are just nasty like having it why menustrating. Now the same sex practices dosnt mean anal for example although there is a book that mentions sodamy(anal) but it one of the minor works in a book not found other then in the collection considered lost books.

Like everything else you will have to consider how you feel about a practice and decide of it something you choose to participate in. Maybe you have different feelings then another on a practice, that normal.

So dont feel guilty about feeling guilty. You can not please a partner and him pleasure you unless you know what pleases you both. You both have to do the home work then help each other out in pleasing each other

Glenn Baker

[DelewareGuy]

sorry......thought you were attention seeking-i was wrong.

[brandyfan411]

sorry......thought you were attention seeking-i was wrong.

Why in the world would that even cross your mind?!? This person has come here with a problem and wanted to share it with us. It shows immaturity on your part for saying that.

Like Glenn, I am too Pentecostal. I was raised knowing about masturabtion (and knowing it's ok). But my parents were both taught that it wasn't ok.....but of course they didn't listen. My mother does NOT condone toys. My father uses them; he's the reason I even know about them. Still, I don't discuss this with them. It's just not a good idea since you never know how they will react.

Sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. I totally agree with Glenn about the "taboo" sex practices (why would you wannt do a lamb or bleed all over someone?! Ack!) but you know enough about yourself and your religion to know what and what not to do.

I didn't know they sold toys at Spencer!! I rarely go in there but I've never seen toys. If they don't have any, I'd do some traveling when your parents go out of town lol.

Vicky

[DelewareGuy]

hey vicky- i already said i am sorry- you cant read-?

so take your sorry attitude back to the farm- got it-?

[brandyfan411]

If I couldn't read, I wouldn't be able to tell that you are the back end of a donkey. Grow up!

...Ppft whatever! This post is for Jo!

Sorry Jo, please continue.

[Mikayla1]

If I couldn't read, I wouldn't be able to tell that you are the back end of a donkey. Grow up!

...Ppft whatever! This post is for Jo!

Sorry Jo, please continue.

OK, this is getting out of hand - ItGuy - your previous comment about "cry baby" was inappropriate and RUDE. I realize you said you are sorry - but you never should have posted that in the first place. We are a site that helps people - all kinds of people - and she is looking for help, not harrassment.

Brandyfan - I realize that angered you -but you should take the higher road and ignore him. IF he bothers you in some other fashion, PM a moderator.

NOW, can we get back to the original post and help this girl??????

[Jo Savage]

Well, I'm not attention seeking ITUofD. Sorry there was a misunderstanding.

Anyways, I appreciate everything you guys have told me. Can any of you give me some chapters in the bible about the topic. I've heard a lot of you use the bible to support it and I'd like read those too.

[brandyfan411]

I said whatever and lets get back to Jo didn't I? I didn't start any fights or nothin' (I wasn't angry Mikayla, trust me I would have been alot worse if I was angry lol.) so there's no reason I should have been adressed.

But like I said, this is about Jo. And Jo, you don't need to apologize. You did nothing wrong at all.

Jo, http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/sex/long.htm has the stories listed in every section of the bible. It's got the Old and New Testiments there and the verses so if you want to find them in the bible yourself you can . I hope this helps you! It's hard for to understand the bible sometimes so this helped me get what they were talking about.

[Kinky Twinkie]

Well, I'm not attention seeking ITUofD. Sorry there was a misunderstanding.

Anyways, I appreciate everything you guys have told me. Can any of you give me some chapters in the bible about the topic. I've heard a lot of you use the bible to support it and I'd like read those too.

On masterbation there are not any, the only verse that ever comes up is about spilling his seed ( I'll have to find it) and from reading the paragraphs before and after the section that contains the verse there is nothing related to masterbation.

Now on the other topics you go to old testiment to the torah( first five books) and Levititcus chapter 18 is where God gives Moses the forbidden sexual practices to the israelittes. Some of these are repeated in other areas but this is the bulk of it all.

There also a chapter dedicated to capital punishment and some of these are punishable by death. This was because God wanted the spiritual blood line pure. for example with sex with animals, he wanted the animal destroyed too. The reason behind it is another topic for discussion but it to keep them from passing on what we could call a spiritual infection ( my words) to future generations from that person and that animal. I don't want to get into how diabolical spirits move about, the occult, etc

But you read that chapter, you'll know more then most people in any church know on sex and the bible, what wrong and what is not.

There so much bad information being passed around out there on sexuality and the bible, it to bad the people saying that stuff has never read this themselves and just depend on passing around what others have said because they so lazy to question it. It about as bad as the media attacking hucklebee for saying merry christmas and saying he had no right to say it while all the political competition is out there doing it too. Lordy!

I think I should write an article on what the bible really says is regards to sex, some of what I read and hear is just the opinion of Paul. Paul dosn't triump the maker of us all and he states it his opinion. Not saying it not good advice just saying it shouldn't be used to replace what God suggested. God dosn't hand down just his opinion, he made his law. I don't know about ya'll but I think he in titled to do that if he created us all. I don't like it all either but I didn't like being spanked when I was a kid either.

What brought about the destruction of the cities of Sodom and Gommorah was practices so wicked most of us can't fantam, it goes beyond these practices. Sex was being used as a form of worshiping false gods, this is what fornifacation was really about but the term fornicate is used to mean intercourse today.Back then it didnt have the same meaning. many people were not that educated back then to use multiple words for the same thing. Ghost and spirits for example are different. God forbid the spirits( known as the songs of God) to have sex with the humans he created(They did just that which is what leads us to the flood eventually). But in the case of Sodom and Gommorah, trying to have sex with angels is not a cool thing to do.

But you read the book of genesis, and it basically a porn 101, I'd be careful about telling the kids to go read the book if you havn't read it and if you do, better be ready to answer there questions so you not caught off guard when they ask why lot got drunk and was having sex with his two daughters and if it was ok why dosn't he have sex with us too.

But if you want to irrate one of them people that show up at your door and won't leave unless you promise to visit their church, get this subject going and see how much they really know.

Glenn

[bazil323]

I completely understand your position; I was recently in the same one. I do believe that sex should only be shared between a man and woman who are married to each other. However, I do believe that masturbation is a great way to release that sexual tension until you can share it with your spouse. It has the added benefit of helping you learn about your body and what makes you feel good so that you can better share your first experience and learn with your spouse.

If you're worried about your parents finding your toys, you can always keep the old standbys: the handle of a hairbrush, showerheads, etc. Or you can get conveniently discreet toys such as the I rub my duckie. It looks just like a rubber ducky, but it has a vibrator inside. You can pass it off as a massager for your shoulders, etc. And you can keep it right in your shower!

Plain duckie

Devil duckie

Purple travel duckie

More traditional vibrator duckie

I'm sure that there are more options on this site, also check out bullets. They are pretty powerful, and they are really small and easy to hide.