Members Marie Antoinette Posted February 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2008 Ok... I haven been reading in here and i finally got up the nerve to talk. So here goes.Do some women just not get that big O that most say goes with anal or is something wrong with me.?My hubby wanted to try anal, he had never done it before and since I had with another I was willing to let him see what it felt like. We took our time and worked up to things. He used lots of lube and started with his fingers and then a vibe and then his cock. (over 30min of play before that took place so i was relaxed and ready) When he entered it wasnt painful so he started moving alittle. He asked if he could go faster and I said no. so he didnt. He kept the slow pace and was hardly in at all ( i found that out later.. i thought he was in a lot further than he was) But I wasnt really getting any enjoyment out of it. I even had a vibe on my clit but still no where near having an O. I was just doing it for him, but a few minutes later I couldnt stand it any longer. I think he went in a bit deeper or had started picking up speed because I asked him to stop and he did. No bitchin or complaining. He really does believe that it is his job to make sure I go before him and several times if possible. He is the best lover I have ever had. He is so caring and considerate of my feelings about everything.He says it is much much warmer there than it is in my vagina. and that he would be lying if he said he didnt want to try it again but that if I didnt enjoy it what is the point in doing it. A little back ground info- my 1st anal experience was not something I had planned or really wanted either. I was in a relationship with a very controlling man. He bent me over the couch for some from behind action and to my suprise he put a vibe in my vagina and then stuck his cock in my ass! Not at all what I was expecting. I dont remember much about it since it was over 13 years ago. I remember he didnt use lube and it hurt but not too terrible and that I was sore for days. This was my only other experience with anal.Could that past experience be the reason I am having such a hard time with this? Any suggestions on what I should do or try? I really want to do this again for my hubby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted February 27, 2008 Report Share Posted February 27, 2008 No, you're not weird. Some women just don't like anal sex, and do it just to please your men. Of course, in this particular forum, you're going to read of people that love anal sex, want tips, and are curious about it. If you had a bad experience before, even 13 yrs ago, that may be what's holding you back, but you said you were relaxed, and it didn't hurt, so I'm not really thinking that may totally be the reason.It's like anything else, you may or may not like it. Just like some women like their breasts played with, some don't, some like being spanked, others don't. Same idea.You just may not be one that particularly cares for anal sex. Even if you don't, but your hubby does, and you do it, that says a lot about your commitment to pleasing him. And, it also says a lot that he wants you to have your orgasm first. You're both very lucky to have each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ManofHerdreams Posted February 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2008 My wife and I don't do anal a whole lot but we do it every now and then. Probably about once a month. We were married a long, long time before we ever tried it. She had known for years that I was interested and wanted to try it but I never pushed her into anything and never will. The first time we actually did try it was her idea and I was totally shocked. Excited but shocked none the less as she is a very consertative type because of her upbringing but that's a different story.She doesn't get that much out of it either but she does it to please me. I never ask for it and we never srart there but sometimes when things are getting particularly hot and heavy and after she has had several good O's then she will suggest we get out the lube and finish up with anal. I'm only to happy to oblige of course and always go slow and easy until she starts to get into the rhythm and then she actually starts to increase the speed. It is one of the most amazing sexual acts there is for most men I believe.Don't give up too soon, even though you haven't gotten there yet with a little time and practice you'll probably at least get to the point of doing it just to please your hubby and if you don't I'm sure he will understand and love you even more for at least trying to go the extra mile to please him.MOHD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members junior88 Posted February 27, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 27, 2008 I too have been reading for a while and finally decided to talk.My SO and I have been experimenting for a while with anal. I love it when we experiment but my SO is a little neutral to the idea. She wants to try things and initiates anal play sometimes but we don't have a lot of success when it comes to penetration and like Marie Antoinette she doesn't see what the fuss is all about. I have only been able to get my penis fully inserted once. Part of our problem is that she likes a "human" touch vs using toys for warm up and my fingers are the equivalent of using a corn cob or something because they are so rough. I need to find some sleeves that are smooth and fit well enough on my finger to allow me to feel what I am doing.I have tried it myself with toys because my opinion on sex is if I won't do it I don't expect her to. I find it enjoyable, when I am in the right mood. I also think to get enjoyment from it you have to have the mindset that it is enjoyable. The other thing we do is put in a porn movie to keep the motors running because anal for us is not fast or furious.We also only just get it in a little way before we have to call it quits so you are not alone there. We have approached this with practice makes perfect. My question for the women is what is it about anal that is most enjoyable for you? I know this is a pretty broad question and everyone is different but for men it generally is the stimulation of the prostate that gives us pleasure. I guess I am looking for anal things to try to make it arousing for my SO and help her relax and get pleasure from the anal play because since I am not a woman I don't know how it feels for you. Normally I would just ask my SO what she likes but we don't have a lot to go on and what we do have experience with has been that it doesn't feel bad but it doesn't feel great either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted February 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2008 It's not something that you're just gonna start with and get into. She's got to really be aroused and in the zone to appreciate it and the bigger the guy, the slower you need to go. Sometimes you've just got to try something a few times before you can let go enough to let yourself enjoy it. Don't give up after the first couple of times, give it a chance, but remember, the hotter you've got her before you start the better your chances for success. Good Luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ManofHerdreams Posted February 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2008 Don't give up after the first couple of times, give it a chance, but remember, the hotter you've got her before you start the better your chances for success. Good Luck!That's been our case exactly. She has to be really turned on and relaxed. We never start there but if she's hot enough we might just end up there. Just a little more motivation for the guy to get her to that level of excitement.MOHD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members chloegirl Posted February 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2008 You go MOHD!!! Always love someone with great enthusiasm for the game! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ManofHerdreams Posted February 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2008 You go MOHD!!! Always love someone with great enthusiasm for the game! Even at my age, enthusiasm is my middle name...MOHD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted February 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2008 Anal sex is not for everyone -definitely. I do believe, that 'most' women do enjoy it once they have tried it, if all the prerequisites are taken care of. There are lots of reasons why women or men might not find it enjoyable, and one of those reasons may be that they just can not relax. If you are not relaxed in mind and body, then it is not going to be enjoyable. I suggest that everyone try it at least twice - and try toys and the 'real deal' also. SOme women do not like a larger item, perhaps a smaller toy works better. Also, if it is not something you enjoy after trying, then that is fine, anal sex is not something that everyone wants or needs to do.Just remember to be relaxed, use lube, lube, lube, go slow and just try to have fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members froggystyle1977 Posted February 28, 2008 Members Report Share Posted February 28, 2008 What happened to you in the past can definetely be affecting you now. A mental block can be difficult to get through and very hard to figure out. I am sorry youwent through that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marie Antoinette Posted March 10, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Thanks for listening and for all the help. I really like having a place to come to and ask questions without feeling odd or judged. We have been moving or I would ahve gotten in here sooner with a response.I think I will see about getting a small anal toy and give this a few more tries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members bazil323 Posted March 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 I guess I'll put my two cents in. We have only recently started anal, and we've done it about a half dozen times. It took me a long time to get comfortable with even trying anything anal, fingers, toys, anything. So I applaud your willingness to "go there". What works for us is to do plenty of foreplay, and even for him to enter my pussy for a while. The last time we did it was the best. He got me revved up by licking my tits and clit. He used a vibrator on my clit while we had a hot & heavy makeout session. I had a little O from the clit stimulation, and then he started doing me in the missionary position. After another O, we switched to doggy style. I kept the vibrator on my clit, and I was really, really relaxed. Then he brought out my little butt plug. It has a bulge near the bottom that can be hard to get in, even though it's supposed to be a begginer's toy. So he lubed it and me up really well and slowly inserted the tip. He took it out and put it back in several times, and then it was super easy to get it all the way in. Then he fucked me some more doggy style with the plug in my ass. That was wonderful. Then he had me flip over onto my back (that's the position I'm most comfortable with for anal) and I put a pillow under my butt. He then lubed up some more and took out the plug. He was able to slip his penis into my anus with little difficulty and the sensation was so much better than the first and even second times.It only gets better with experience. It is so different from the sensations I get from clit or vaginal stimulation that I had a hard time even deciding if I liked it or hated it. Just take it nice and slow. Try to have several Os before you try anal and don't forget the lube. Communication, communication, communication! I can't stress it enough. There is no way that we could be doing anal if I wasn't able to say stop or go slower. And it goes the other way too. We wouldn't be doing it at all if he hadn't said, "I really want to try this." I'd have no idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members OPL Laundry Goddess Posted March 13, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 13, 2008 Let me add also... anal sex is one of those extra treats that for most, myself included, is not standard fare. I agree your past experience is prolly limiting the mental ability to really enjoy it, since you stated you did it for your husband. The thing is this, when I want it, I want it, and when I don't, I don't. Not a terribly articulate statement, but it makes the point that 1. you have to be in the right frame of mind, and 2. it isn't something you can do for someone else. Because of the differences between vaginal and anal sex, especially the lack of natural lube there and the double sphinters, anal is a process, and it helps if you are mentally and physically ready for that step.Might I suggest you let hubby ease you into that arena with more anal play (around the outter rim) with his fingers for a while, try the smaller toy, try other less invasive feeling foreplay. Then when you are ready, revisit. I do not orgasm from the anal alone, so see that for what it is, a fun and extra part of an otherwise fulfilling sex life you share with someone special.~the laundry goddess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Fawkes Posted March 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 15, 2008 I love my woman's ass! In the beginning there was the occasional finger massage, and then inserted just slightly. Over time it became more acceptable to her, and she realized how much she really enjoyed it. Now she loves having multiple fingers or toys, and once in awhile my cock in her ass. Sometimes it's just an aquired taste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marie Antoinette Posted March 19, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 I got the little pink jelly plug and it has a hole in it that can take a small bullet. We played with that last nite and it was nice. Was able to have it inserted and as long as it was still and not moving I was ok with it. thanks for all the advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Radagast97 Posted March 19, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 Everything said so far is very important, especially lots of lube and starting slowly.One thing may help if you are familiar with a g-spot type orgasm. Some women can, with the proper angle, stimulate their g-spot anally, with a toy or partner. I am not female, so this is all from listening to partners and reading. YMMV Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Marie Antoinette Posted March 19, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted March 19, 2008 never heard that one before... g-spot thru anal... hmmm anyone else know about this.he does find my g-spot the normal way and is the 1st ever. so when that 1st happened and I squirted I thought I was a freak or something. Now we cant even sex without a waterproof pad (the kind you get from hospital) under us or I soak the bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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