When To Use Sex Toy

[Tanzan]

Hello all,

We have been married for three years with three girls, my wife is more sexier than I am. She seems not to like our sex incompatibility. She had complained but claim it has gotten better over time. I am the one stuck with mental fag wondering trying to ensure that she is satisfied. We discussed of having sex toy but don't know which type. I am so worried because I have been stucked with macho mentality never tried toy in my previous married. My ex was ok but was so tight and now is the opposite. Finaly we decided that we purchase some toy but don't know which one. I don't want my wife to like toy more than my "johnny" because she seems not to get enough may be due to size disparity and this dampens her interest. Sometimes she gets to orgasm, sometimes not. I am worried of the insecurity growing between us. What type of toy is good for supplement without stealing our moment.

Your advice

Tanzan

[Mikayla1]

As to choosing a toy- wrong question. You should have many toys. Toys for you, toys for her. Toys to use together. Who cares how you warm up the engine as long as the car is parked in the garage at night?

Howard is right on with this post! You can start out with one toy, but you should aim to get more than one. Toys are an enhancement, not for you to compete against! I always wondered about men who were afraid that their wive's sex toy would outshine, outlast or overshadow their own penis . . . how can this happen? Sure, you may not have a clitoral attachment on your dick, but hey, your penis is capable of so many more pleasures than just sticking in and getting the Orgasm!

I love my toys...love them. I even name some of them. However, nothing replaces the feeling of my husband's fresh, warm cock inside me! I love to "warm up the engine" as Howard puts it, with a toy or three, then let him bang the crap out of me - or I him - and then maybe use another toy on him. It is about variety, experimentation, pleasure! It is so important to have pleasure and fun in your bedroom, that is not the place for insecurity of any kind! You should never let your wife think you are insecure about your lovemaking skills! You should be exhibiting only security and male prowess....let her know you want her to be pleasured as much as possible, no matter what the means. Nothing sexier than a man willing to give it all to his woman at all costs!

So go get some toys. I suggest the basic 3 - slimline, rabitt, and bullet - all of which are available here at tootimid! Then, when you get comfortable, go for the glass dildos, the anal beads, the vibrating plugs...the possibilities are endless!

Have fun!

Mikayla

[Scout]

First, I agree completely with Mikayla and Howard...they've pretty much said it all.

Second, are you saying that your wife's sex drive is much greater than yours? If so, why do you think that is? Is it because you are insecure and not sure of yourself as a lover for her? Or is it really that you just don't enjoy or want sex? If it is the latter, then you need to see your doctor, explain the lack of interest to him and have him/her test you for low levels of testosterone or some other chemical imbalance.

But if it's just because you're not sure of yourself. Then check out the video's available and the books as well. And as Howard has said - read some of the old posts on this site...You are not the only man to have ever been in this position, and you won't be the last. The best way to become more confident in your ability is to practice! Hmmmm! I sure like the sounds of that! Remember, practice makes perfect! And talk to her more...find out what she likes, doesn't like - become more of an active partner.

And please don't be jealous or worried about her toys. Toys are wonderful! And the best thing for women since they started slicing bread - but as Mikayla put it so beautifully, nothing, NOTHING, will ever take the place of my lover's penis - EVER! And nothing will ever take the place of my lover's arms around me, hearing his rapid breathing, feeling him moving in me - feeling his delight when I reach orgasm...no, trust me, there is no substitute for the real thing. There is, h owever, always room for experimentation, and fun and laughter! That's what toys are about - keeping the engines warm and reved -

Enjoy!

Scout

[camel]

First, I agree completely with Mikayla and Howard...they've pretty much said it all.

Second, are you saying that your wife's sex drive is much greater than yours? If so, why do you think that is? Is it because you are insecure and not sure of yourself as a lover for her? Or is it really that you just don't enjoy or want sex? If it is the latter, then you need to see your doctor, explain the lack of interest to him and have him/her test you for low levels of testosterone or some other chemical imbalance.

But if it's just because you're not sure of yourself. Then check out the video's available and the books as well. And as Howard has said - read some of the old posts on this site...You are not the only man to have ever been in this position, and you won't be the last. The best way to become more confident in your ability is to practice! Hmmmm! I sure like the sounds of that! Remember, practice makes perfect! And talk to her more...find out what she likes, doesn't like - become more of an active partner.

And please don't be jealous or worried about her toys. Toys are wonderful! And the best thing for women since they started slicing bread - but as Mikayla put it so beautifully, nothing, NOTHING, will ever take the place of my lover's penis - EVER! And nothing will ever take the place of my lover's arms around me, hearing his rapid breathing, feeling him moving in me - feeling his delight when I reach orgasm...no, trust me, there is no substitute for the real thing. There is, h owever, always room for experimentation, and fun and laughter! That's what toys are about - keeping the engines warm and reved -

Enjoy!

Scout

I don't think that sex toys are very cool. I think women use them just to stimulate their vaginas so that when their lover pushes his hard cock in there then it won't hurt so bad. I think that the sex toys are degrading and down right nasty. They should ban sex toys and close down the shops that sell them and pornos also. Sex toys do take away the moment that two people share and it can be frustrating. I've had friends tell me that they don't enjoy them because some males are stronger than we are and they may shove it in the womans vagina or their anus and it could hurt or it could make the vagina bleed a little bit. As far as the titty sucking that is ok, my fiance sucks on mine all the time and it feels great. Men should have a greater sex strives than their female partners just for the fact that their penisis get hard quicker than our breasts do. Heres a suggestion if you really want to go for the gold so to speak, take a candy bar with chocolate either on it or in it and rub some on you than rub some on your partner than have your own fun by liking it off and maybe you'll think of other edible things to put on your body and maybe it will be in a different spot like.... oh what the hell you'll think of something. My fiancee also likes to have blow jobs and to have his cum eaten so if your that type of woman than go for it ladies or if your new at the whole sex thing than it would be something new and fun for you to try.

[Mikayla1]

I don't think that sex toys are very cool. I think women use them just to stimulate their vaginas so that when their lover pushes his hard cock in there then it won't hurt so bad. I think that the sex toys are degrading and down right nasty. They should ban sex toys and close down the shops that sell them and pornos also. Sex toys do take away the moment that two people share and it can be frustrating. I've had friends tell me that they don't enjoy them because some males are stronger than we are and they may shove it in the womans vagina or their anus and it could hurt or it could make the vagina bleed a little bit. As far as the titty sucking that is ok, my fiance sucks on mine all the time and it feels great. Men should have a greater sex strives than their female partners just for the fact that their penisis get hard quicker than our breasts do. Heres a suggestion if you really want to go for the gold so to speak, take a candy bar with chocolate either on it or in it and rub some on you than rub some on your partner than have your own fun by liking it off and maybe you'll think of other edible things to put on your body and maybe it will be in a different spot like.... oh what the hell you'll think of something. My fiancee also likes to have blow jobs and to have his cum eaten so if your that type of woman than go for it ladies or if your new at the whole sex thing than it would be something new and fun for you to try.

Ok, I don't even know where to begin with this response. I try and honor all people's opinions, but sometimes an opinion seems so absurd that I just get dumbfounded.....let me try to attack this reasonably:

First, your reasoning is that women use them to stimulate "their vaginas so that sex won't hurt so bad?" Why does sex hurt? Sex shouldn't hurt, except maybe the first time, or if someone is having rough sex with you. A sex toy is not going to help "prevent" pain during intercourse, it will enhance sex play, foreplay, anal play. Not all sex toys are even insertable. Many are for clitoral use. These toys are meant to enhance the experience, not to "prepare" you for the sex you may have some day. I think you are very misinformed here. Someone told you that sex toys are for "preparing a virgin's way" into sex...this is not true.

Second, you think that sex toys are degrading. If the definition of degrading is "a lowering of moral character" are you then suggesting that those of us who use sex toys are of a lower moral character than those who refrain from using them? I hope not, because those are fighting words!

Sex toys enhance a couples sexual experience, or, they can enhance a persons masturbatory play. It is in no way a lowering of my moral character to purchase, use or share a sex toy in my love making experience. To suggest such a thing is simply ridiculous!

Third, you suggest that sex shops and pornos should be banned - uh, what are you doing on this site? You know tootimid sells SEX TOYS! You think that porn and sex toys takes away from the moment that a couple shares...how so? If a couple is together, watching a porn, and they are getting excited sexually watching that porn, and then they make love...how is that "ruining the moment?" I would say it is enhancing the moment. In fact, for many couples sex while watching porn or while using a sex toy makes the sex more intense or in general better than sex without it. So, what is wrong with that?

Fourth, you say "I've had friends tell me that they don't enjoy them because some males are stronger than we are and they may shove it in the womans vagina or their anus and it could hurt or it could make the vagina bleed a little bit." Here you are talking about an abusive male. You are not talking about a kind, loving, caring partner who is using the toy as it is intended...as an aid to your orgasm. It seems as though someone has really scared you off with some horror stories of what men will do to you with sex toys, this is a shame!

Fifth, you then say"Men should have a greater sex strives than their female partners just for the fact that their penisis get hard quicker than our breasts do." Contrary to what you believe, women actually have stronger sex drives than most men, but that is in older years, in younger years 20 and under, the men beat out women. The sex drives are not determined by "how quick" the penis gets hard, but instead by a large range of conditions, hormones, etc. Plus, you should be worried about your CLITORIS, not your breasts as much. I think you really need some general sex ed classes.

As far as your chocolate rubbing idea, that is fine and all, but I did that when I was like 19, now I have my sex toys to enhance my relationship.

I also found it very hypocritical for you to suggest that we ladies should try something new with sex when clearly you are unwilling to venture into the land of sex toys! You have no idea what they could lend to your relationship. You have no idea what they could do for your man. It is unfair of you to judge US, if you are unwilling to try them out for yourself. It is your loss.

I am not suggesting that sex toys are for everyone - they are not - but to say that they are "degrading" which is clearly a misuse of the word, and should be banned is just wrong. Everyone has their own idea of what makes sex good, and this site celebrates that. If you don't want to be open to that...then maybe you are on the wrong site.

So, you can have your chocolate bars - leave the sex toys to those of use who want to have good orgasms and not just sugar rushes!

Mikayla

[danielsvixen]

Mikayla, YOU ROCK GIRL!

You hit the nail on the head. I agree with everything you said, and you said it soooo nicely

[camel]

Ok, I don't even know where to begin with this response. I try and honor all people's opinions, but sometimes an opinion seems so absurd that I just get dumbfounded.....let me try to attack this reasonably:

First, your reasoning is that women use them to stimulate "their vaginas so that sex won't hurt so bad?" Why does sex hurt? Sex shouldn't hurt, except maybe the first time, or if someone is having rough sex with you. A sex toy is not going to help "prevent" pain during intercourse, it will enhance sex play, foreplay, anal play. Not all sex toys are even insertable. Many are for clitoral use. These toys are meant to enhance the experience, not to "prepare" you for the sex you may have some day. I think you are very misinformed here. Someone told you that sex toys are for "preparing a virgin's way" into sex...this is not true.

Second, you think that sex toys are degrading. If the definition of degrading is "a lowering of moral character" are you then suggesting that those of us who use sex toys are of a lower moral character than those who refrain from using them? I hope not, because those are fighting words!

Sex toys enhance a couples sexual experience, or, they can enhance a persons masturbatory play. It is in no way a lowering of my moral character to purchase, use or share a sex toy in my love making experience. To suggest such a thing is simply ridiculous!

Third, you suggest that sex shops and pornos should be banned - uh, what are you doing on this site? You know tootimid sells SEX TOYS! You think that porn and sex toys takes away from the moment that a couple shares...how so? If a couple is together, watching a porn, and they are getting excited sexually watching that porn, and then they make love...how is that "ruining the moment?" I would say it is enhancing the moment. In fact, for many couples sex while watching porn or while using a sex toy makes the sex more intense or in general better than sex without it. So, what is wrong with that?

Fourth, you say "I've had friends tell me that they don't enjoy them because some males are stronger than we are and they may shove it in the womans vagina or their anus and it could hurt or it could make the vagina bleed a little bit." Here you are talking about an abusive male. You are not talking about a kind, loving, caring partner who is using the toy as it is intended...as an aid to your orgasm. It seems as though someone has really scared you off with some horror stories of what men will do to you with sex toys, this is a shame!

Fifth, you then say"Men should have a greater sex strives than their female partners just for the fact that their penisis get hard quicker than our breasts do." Contrary to what you believe, women actually have stronger sex drives than most men, but that is in older years, in younger years 20 and under, the men beat out women. The sex drives are not determined by "how quick" the penis gets hard, but instead by a large range of conditions, hormones, etc. Plus, you should be worried about your CLITORIS, not your breasts as much. I think you really need some general sex ed classes.

As far as your chocolate rubbing idea, that is fine and all, but I did that when I was like 19, now I have my sex toys to enhance my relationship.

I also found it very hypocritical for you to suggest that we ladies should try something new with sex when clearly you are unwilling to venture into the land of sex toys! You have no idea what they could lend to your relationship. You have no idea what they could do for your man. It is unfair of you to judge US, if you are unwilling to try them out for yourself. It is your loss.

I am not suggesting that sex toys are for everyone - they are not - but to say that they are "degrading" which is clearly a misuse of the word, and should be banned is just wrong. Everyone has their own idea of what makes sex good, and this site celebrates that. If you don't want to be open to that...then maybe you are on the wrong site.

So, you can have your chocolate bars - leave the sex toys to those of use who want to have good orgasms and not just sugar rushes!

Mikayla

You guys just don't know how sex toys can ruin your love life trust me I was with someone that used a sex toy on me and it was just stupid it took the exciting moments right out of both of us. Women who use these toys must not care very much. And also I have seen a porno and I think it is just digusting to watch other people having sex. FYI I have had sex education thank you very much and that too was gross. I could care less what you people think but just remember that when Judgement Day comes u'll probably be sorry if you're not christian like me and my fiancee which is what I prefer you guys call him. He does a fine job with out us using sex toys. Furthermore, I don't think masturbation is normal either how gross for a female to put their own fingers in their vaginas and whats more it is even nastier to have a male play with their own dicks. If you guys also have sex with a stuffed animal (laugh) you guys seriously need help or get your own sex ed classes. As far as me bieng on this site MIKAYLA I have every right as a citizen of a free country to give my opinion. Even kind loving, males can be rough. And lastly you're not being resonable you're bieng down right rude mikayla.

[curvacious_lust]

okkkk...all this from a woman (dodoqueen) who PM's me to ask about my fav adult toy sites. Now I wished I'd seen these posts BEFORE I sent her the link cause I would have given her a few choice words and not sent the link I did. WTF was I thinking??

Now, for the OP. If she thinks she feels "loose" to you, she can tighten her vaginal muscles using tantric or kegal exercises. Also, Mikayla and Howard gave some most excellent advice. Peruse this site and I am 100% sure you will find the answers you are in search of, for both your partner and yourself!

[Mikayla1]

You guys just don't know how sex toys can ruin your love life trust me I was with someone that used a sex toy on me and it was just stupid it took the exciting moments right out of both of us. Women who use these toys must not care very much. And also I have seen a porno and I think it is just digusting to watch other people having sex. FYI I have had sex education thank you very much and that too was gross. I could care less what you people think but just remember that when Judgement Day comes u'll probably be sorry if you're not christian like me and my fiancee which is what I prefer you guys call him. He does a fine job with out us using sex toys. Furthermore, I don't think masturbation is normal either how gross for a female to put their own fingers in their vaginas and whats more it is even nastier to have a male play with their own dicks. If you guys also have sex with a stuffed animal (laugh) you guys seriously need help or get your own sex ed classes. As far as me bieng on this site MIKAYLA I have every right as a citizen of a free country to give my opinion. Even kind loving, males can be rough. And lastly you're not being resonable you're bieng down right rude mikayla.

OK, here you go....I think I was actually reasonable and NICE, not rude. I too have a first amendment right to discuss my opinion same as you. This site is meant for people to discuss sex, masturbation, sex toys, etc. I am by no means telling you that you can not be here, however, for you to come to a forum that is about sex, and post that we are not Christians and that we will be sorry on Judgement Day is not only RUDE of you, it is hypocritical. I think your opinion is skewed by your previous bad experience, and for that I am sorry. No one, especially me is telling you that you HAVE TO like porn. many people here don't like porn. That is fine. I am not a porn monger. I am not telling you that you HAVE TO like sex toys. I am just saying don't criticize the ones that DO. It does not make us morally substandard or unchristian to use them! You should keep that in mind when you post here. It takes a lot of differing opinions to make this site work.

Furthermore, I am a Christian. If you had taken the time to look up some of my other posts, you would know that. However, you don't care to know, so that is your problem. I seem to remember seeing a post from you about you "fucking" your fiance, if this is true, then you too are against "God's law" if you take everything in the Bible literally. You are having sex outside of marriage - is that not fornication? I suppose you skipped that passage.

For you to pass judgement on ME, or anyone else here as being UNChristian just because we use sex toys is not only rude it is wrong in the context in which you are forming it! For those who live in glass house should not throw stones! Judge not lest not ye be judged!

You say you have had sex ed and it was "gross" - how mature of an attitude is that? I am sorry you find masturbation gross....that is your loss. Exploration of your own body is a natural, healthy part of life. There is nothing, I repeat NOTHING in the Bible that prohibits masturbation...I beg you to find differently. Then again, some people can find support for almost anything in the Bible if they look hard enough and skew the words enough.

As it says in I Corinthians 7:3-4, 14:

"The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife has… the unbelieving husband is made holy through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy through her husband"

I interpret this to mean that a man and a woman (wife/husband if taken literally) should give to each other,and pleasure one another, and do what the other wishes to bring pleasure. Is there any mention in here about how that pleasure is given - NO - so why not use stimulation of any kind to do so!

I think that somewhere along the way someone messed up your thinking, and if that is how you think, then it is. However, DO NOT INFRINGE UPON OUR OPINIONS AS WELL!

Good Luck!

Mikayla

Edited January 29, 2006 by Mikayla1

[curvacious_lust]

AMEN SISTER!! I'll think of dodoqueen as I sit with my children in church tomorrow. Judge not, that ye be not judged. Matthew 7:1

Isn't it hard to be queen of the dodos since they ARE extinct? (As should be her personal sexual views) Just because one type of toy took the "excitement" out, doesn't mean there aren't others that will bring pleasure to both partners.

[camel]

dodoqueen; you are being defensive, by projecting your own experiences and fears onto others, and making yourself the victim of their potential violence. This is not healthy for you to do. I join the ladies in being sorry about your prior experiences, but they do not represent what happens in all relationships, or to all women. How can you tell your " fiance" as you insist how to pleasure you, if you don't explore your own body and find out what pleasures you? That is why we masturbate, and babies masturbate in their cribs, long before their eyes can focus. You have masturbated, whether you want to admit it or not. Your body is not evil, or unhealthy, and there is nothing about it that can not be washed off with soap and water. How does your fiance give you oral sex if he doesn't use his tongue on your private parts? Isn't this what you are complaining is so bad? Or is it just fingers you don't want anywhere near your vagina?

Please read the prior postings here. You will find that masturbation is normal, and healthy. You will learn that most couples engage in oral sex, and many also use sex toys to enhance their relationships, and to masturbate when their partners are away. Orgasms are very good for you from a general health point of view. They are perhaps the easiest stress relievers we have control over, and the cardio-vascular workout we experience having orgasms is good for the heart. God gives you this body to use, and to enjoy, and there is no sin involved in enjoying and sharing your joy with your fiance.

I would like to believe that God gave women the capability of have multiple orgasms to compensate them for having to endure monthly menstral cycles. The God I believe in is that kind.

Tell me howard4570 how am I projecting my expierences onto others? Really I was not aware of that if I had known I would not have posted those things I was just trying to express my opions. I didn't mean to be rude. I also was not imposing Christianity. I don't have to tell my fiancee how to please me he just knows. I agree God gave me this body but to me my body is on loan to me and someday He will claim it back. I am sorry for the "rude" comments. I just want to say one thing I don't masturbate when my fiancee isn't around because I spend all my time on the computer, driving around running errands, and doing my homework for my college instructors. How should I open my mind to these sex things? Look forward to your comments!

[Mikayla1]

DoDoQueen:

Howard is right....you can't know what to do and how to do it unless you learn by trial and error. No one here on this site became a good lover by just "doing it" I doubt your fiance just "knows" how to pleasure you without some instruction from you - or previous lovers. I also sincerly doubt that he has never, or does not now, masturbate. Masturbation is a fact of life. In one of your other posts you mention "spontaneous orgasm" while sitting in a bar. If you are so "in tune" with your body that this happens, I highly doubt that you have not masturbated, or do not know how to bring pleasure to yourself. I have these "spontaneous orgasms" and let me tell you....I masturbate, frequently.

As for the comment where you say you are not expousing your Christian views...I would beg to differ. I believe what you said was:

"I could care less what you people think but just remember that when Judgement Day comes u'll probably be sorry if you're not christian like me and my fiancee..."

I would believe that would constitute expousing Christianity. Which is fine...just be prepared for the debate to continue in that arena if it is what you want.

You may think that we here are a bunch of uneducated, unchristian sex fiends who have nothing better to do than sit around and talk sex . . . nothing can be further from the truth. We are probably some of the most educated and diverse people you would ever care to meet. Sure, we have differing views on sex, but that is a GOOD THING. No one here is saying that you HAVE to share our views, my views, Howard's views. However, you can't come here and say "you are going to hell because you masturbate" in any wording you choose.

You mention how you have no time to find out about things because you are a student....well, I too am a student, a law student, and I have an even better comprehension of how to find information BECAUSE I am a student. I would suggest, as Howard has done, using the resources at your disposal to get the information that will help you to grow in your relationship with your fiance....this will only make it better.

Do you have to use sex toys if you don't like them - NO. Do you have to masturbate - NO. However, we here in this forum, at least those who are responding, are telling you that it may enhance your relationship, and it will definitely help you to get to know your own body better.

What Howard meant when he said you were pushing your experiences on to others is that when you say that all sex shops and porno shops should be banned because YOU had a bad experience with someone who misused a sex toy with you....that is using your experiences and forming negative oponions and then saying it should be this way because. . .which is illogical thinking.

It is like this in simplier terms:

I ate an apple

The apple made me sick

Therefore, no one should ever eat appples again because they will get sick

This is called illogical reasoning. Do you see that now? I hope so. I also hope that you can open your eyes to the greater possibilities of sexual exploration, and if not, then I sincerely hope that you and your fiance are happy with the sex life that you have chosen for yourselves.

Good luck,

Mikayla

[crazy1]

Don't you guys get it? this person is a troll. An internet persona created just to start contoversy. I have been on many forums and this is just one idiot who is trying to make people mad. even the name Dodoqueen is designed to show that this person doesn't really care about what they say, just the reactions we are giving.

this person has no interest in personal or spiritual growth and should be, at all costs, ignored.

[Scout]

I'm sorry - but what turnip truck did she fall from?

If I understand her correctly - she thinks that all women should NEVER use sex toys - that they're hideous, hurtful and just plain wrong. That Porn is awful and wrong and that all sites, shops, etc. that sell sex toys, movies, books, etc. should be closed.

Excuse me? What the H--- is she doing on this site? And as an unmarried Christian woman, should she really be involved in any kind of sexual encounter? As a Christian, isn't she supposed to be saving herself for marriage? So, that means absolutely NO premarital sex...

I take offense, obviously - Mikayla and Howard - you're both so very right.

And please, don't judge me...clean the glass in your own house first. And do us all a favor - since you are not interested in expanding your knowledge of sex and how to pleasure yourself and your lover, take a hike, go to the grocery store - something, but hit the road sister...we don't need you here. Mikayla and Howard are both gracious and kind, as you can see - I'm a bit short on those virtues.

I'm "a bit over 55" now and have discovered that sex is, to quote Shirley Maclaine's wonderful line in "Term's of Endearment" - "Sex is so fanfuckingtastic!" And when my lover is not around, or even if he is here, you better believe I love my little blue Dolphin - he's one of my best friends. He helps my lover catch his breath as Howard explained - and keeps me right on purring at the same time. What could possibly be wrong with that?

I really do enjoy my toys - so does my lover - in fact, I wouldn't have a lover who didn't!

Oh, well - this is I'm sure falling on deaf ears (one could only hope), but at least I feel better!

Scout

[camel]

DoDoQueen:

Howard is right....you can't know what to do and how to do it unless you learn by trial and error. No one here on this site became a good lover by just "doing it" I doubt your fiance just "knows" how to pleasure you without some instruction from you - or previous lovers. I also sincerly doubt that he has never, or does not now, masturbate. Masturbation is a fact of life. In one of your other posts you mention "spontaneous orgasm" while sitting in a bar. If you are so "in tune" with your body that this happens, I highly doubt that you have not masturbated, or do not know how to bring pleasure to yourself. I have these "spontaneous orgasms" and let me tell you....I masturbate, frequently.

As for the comment where you say you are not expousing your Christian views...I would beg to differ. I believe what you said was:

"I could care less what you people think but just remember that when Judgement Day comes u'll probably be sorry if you're not christian like me and my fiancee..."

I would believe that would constitute expousing Christianity. Which is fine...just be prepared for the debate to continue in that arena if it is what you want.

You may think that we here are a bunch of uneducated, unchristian sex fiends who have nothing better to do than sit around and talk sex . . . nothing can be further from the truth. We are probably some of the most educated and diverse people you would ever care to meet. Sure, we have differing views on sex, but that is a GOOD THING. No one here is saying that you HAVE to share our views, my views, Howard's views. However, you can't come here and say "you are going to hell because you masturbate" in any wording you choose.

You mention how you have no time to find out about things because you are a student....well, I too am a student, a law student, and I have an even better comprehension of how to find information BECAUSE I am a student. I would suggest, as Howard has done, using the resources at your disposal to get the information that will help you to grow in your relationship with your fiance....this will only make it better.

Do you have to use sex toys if you don't like them - NO. Do you have to masturbate - NO. However, we here in this forum, at least those who are responding, are telling you that it may enhance your relationship, and it will definitely help you to get to know your own body better.

What Howard meant when he said you were pushing your experiences on to others is that when you say that all sex shops and porno shops should be banned because YOU had a bad experience with someone who misused a sex toy with you....that is using your experiences and forming negative oponions and then saying it should be this way because. . .which is illogical thinking.

It is like this in simplier terms:

I ate an apple

The apple made me sick

Therefore, no one should ever eat appples again because they will get sick

This is called illogical reasoning. Do you see that now? I hope so. I also hope that you can open your eyes to the greater possibilities of sexual exploration, and if not, then I sincerely hope that you and your fiance are happy with the sex life that you have chosen for yourselves.

Good luck,

Mikayla

I just happened to be looking at this site I didn't mean to sound the way I did. But HELLO it did say that we could post our views and that is just what I was doing and the name dodoqueen isn't my user name it is my friends she told me I could use it. And I am not naming any names because I kept my word that I would not use her name just her user name and that is IT! I just thought I could post my thoughts just like you guys and no I am not trying to start a conflict on this forum. I also didn't mean to come off as strong as I did so I am therfore saying that I am sorry if that is the way I sounded. I am also for sure as hell not telling you that if you "masturbate" or "play with yourself" to be more simple that you will go to HELL! If you want I will be more open minded and if you want you may also give me "tips" on how to better my sex life. If you give me "tips" than please don't let them involve sex toys. And as far as sex toys goes I will not mention it again I promise and I mean it! Look forward to your reply soon!

[Mikayla1]

Ok DoDoqueen.....first, apology accepted. We are all (well I am) an accepting and forgiving person. As long as you can see how your words "sounded" on this site to us, then you will be more careful how you type things.

IF you do not want to discuss sex toys, then how about we go over to another topic that is not in the sex toy area of the forum, and I am sure many people will be more than happy to give you advice on how to better your sex life without the aid of toys. However, since we are currently in the "When to USE a SEX TOY" area of the forum, it would probably be better if we removed this conversation elsewhere.

So, I will start a new topic just for you under General Questions. If you hit the "view new posts" underlined area when you log on then it should show you this new topic. From here you can ask whatever questions you want about bettering your sex life with your fiance. OK?

Look forward to hearing from you.

Mikayla

[Karin]

Ok DoDoqueen.....first, apology accepted. We are all (well I am) an accepting and forgiving person. As long as you can see how your words "sounded" on this site to us, then you will be more careful how you type things.

IF you do not want to discuss sex toys, then how about we go over to another topic that is not in the sex toy area of the forum, and I am sure many people will be more than happy to give you advice on how to better your sex life without the aid of toys. However, since we are currently in the "When to USE a SEX TOY" area of the forum, it would probably be better if we removed this conversation elsewhere.

So, I will start a new topic just for you under General Questions. If you hit the "view new posts" underlined area when you log on then it should show you this new topic. From here you can ask whatever questions you want about bettering your sex life with your fiance. OK?

Look forward to hearing from you.

Mikayla

[Karin]

I'm sorry - but what turnip truck did she fall from?

If I understand her correctly - she thinks that all women should NEVER use sex toys - that they're hideous, hurtful and just plain wrong. That Porn is awful and wrong and that all sites, shops, etc. that sell sex toys, movies, books, etc. should be closed.

Excuse me? What the H--- is she doing on this site? And as an unmarried Christian woman, should she really be involved in any kind of sexual encounter? As a Christian, isn't she supposed to be saving herself for marriage? So, that means absolutely NO premarital sex...

I take offense, obviously - Mikayla and Howard - you're both so very right.

And please, don't judge me...clean the glass in your own house first. And do us all a favor - since you are not interested in expanding your knowledge of sex and how to pleasure yourself and your lover, take a hike, go to the grocery store - something, but hit the road sister...we don't need you here. Mikayla and Howard are both gracious and kind, as you can see - I'm a bit short on those virtues.

I'm "a bit over 55" now and have discovered that sex is, to quote Shirley Maclaine's wonderful line in "Term's of Endearment" - "Sex is so fanfuckingtastic!" And when my lover is not around, or even if he is here, you better believe I love my little blue Dolphin - he's one of my best friends. He helps my lover catch his breath as Howard explained - and keeps me right on purring at the same time. What could possibly be wrong with that?

I really do enjoy my toys - so does my lover - in fact, I wouldn't have a lover who didn't!

Oh, well - this is I'm sure falling on deaf ears (one could only hope), but at least I feel better!

Scout

Hi all never wrote before but couldn't keep quiet. I have a medical reason for using my bullett. We love that little thing!!(both hubby and me)

I have M.S. and went numb from neck down. Did not feel anything including sex. Well some feelings came back as M.S. is a weird thing. All except the feeling of having sex. Hardly felt anything. My M.S. support group that I belong to suggested sex toys. I thought great...(NOT) As I am a Christian also and God says its o'k for me to have sex cause I'm married to the man I sleep with. I bought a vib. and a bullet. The vibe wasn't such a hit but the bullet sent shivers down where well you know. I had been using that and now I have feeling in my clit area where there was none. If you 've never experances being numb. No feeling what so ever you have no idea how nice it is for your hubby or your self to be able to bring you to an orgasum.... I was so numb I could pinch myself and draw blood and now part of me gets sexual pleasure..GO SEX TOYS!!! Anyone have a name of a good clit kisser??? Want one of those too... Toadette (Karin)

[ang13n6]

i just bought another dildo...my first realistic cock! It's the cyberskin dream dick.....8 inches long and 2 inches thick....came with nice bouncy balls and veins! LOL! it feels so real! OOoOO..can't want to try it!

[12GAUGE]

YOu mean you didn't try it before posting this?? What are you waiting for? Go for it, girl! Let us all know if it meets your expectations. There are many women out there who read this site, who are too shy to ever post anything here. But, they want to know what works. Help them out.

I have one of those cyberskin cocks with nut sack.....I REALLY LOVE IT. WHEN I AM SUPER TURNED ON I CAN TAKE THE WHOLE THING-AND I LIKE IT HARD AND FAST. MINE IS ONLY 6 1/2 INCHES LONG BUT BABY IT GETS THE JOB D O N E ! ! ! Tho I don't have as many sessions as I used to since I scored a girlfriend....Wetlips-try it with a bullet vibrator in your hand when you're "doin' yourself".....works for me! peace 12G