A Supposed Dirty Thing

[sexynshyrissa]

I just had anal sex for the first time it FELT AMAZING I have to tell or post or something and I dont' feel comfortable telling anyone of my friends...

[Mikayla1]

GOOD FOR YOU!

I am so glad you had this experience and that you liked it so much. Anal sex can be such a rewarding part of a healthy relationship. You can experiment with toys, positions, etc. I hope that at some point you do tell some of your girlfriends, I am sure more of them are doing it than you realize!

Until then, we are all here for you to discuss with!

Mikayla

[sexynshyrissa]

Thanks Mikayla ..... I just had to tell or do something it was sooooooooo good it hadn't even been 3 min since he had cum and I was posting but anyways.

[quietguy]

Let me ask both of you ladies a question--who's idea was it?

I am struggling with how to approach my wife about trying anal--I'm afraid she will think I'm a perv. I would just like to try some new things--unfortunately she was married to a severe weirdo before so I don't want to do anything to remind her of him.

[Mikayla1]

Quiet Guy:

Anal sex is hitting the sex scene with a BAM! Anal sex is an enjoyable addition to any healthy -heterosexual or homosexual - relationship. In short, it is not just for gay men anymore!

What your wife needs to experience is the slow introduction to it, in the mindset of it is for her pleasure. These are my suggestions:

1) NEVER use alcohol when you are trying anal play. It is extremely important that both of you are aware and cognizant!

2) I suggest trying to slowly introduce "newbies" to the practice of anal sex, with a toy or vibrator. Perhaps you could rim her with your tongue during oral sex, then use a lubricated finger to stick in just a tad.

3) Once she likes that feeling, go for the little vibe, (use one made for anal play - it can get lost up there) and start going in just a little during oral sex. Believe me, once she has an orgasm while you are playing with her ass, she will be hooked!

4) Then once you have the vibe going all the way up there - and this process might take a long time - days, weeks, months - then ease her into your cock.

5) Once you start with your cock - or actually anything that is going up there - ALWAYS USE A LOT OF LUBE-

MAJOR RULES OF ANAL SEX:

a) There can never be too much lube

Go slow, be patient

c) Should never hurt - if it hurts, you are going to fast

d) There can never be too much lube

6) Lube her up, lube you up, take it slow. I suggest that the woman take control the first time by sitting on you, then she can feel the pressure she wants. If she is not comfortable with this, doggy style is probably good. Push it in - S L O W L Y - the head is the first obstacle. Once it gets past the little muscle ring at the beginning of the anal opening...STOP...breathe...let her just feel the sensations. Then push in a little more. NEVER FORCE. Then, a little more, then more. STOPPING IF THERE IS PAIN - discomfort might happen, never pain.

7) Once you are all in, then you can start to go in and out a little faster, but make sure you are still lubed up, and go slow at first while she stretches. Then, she will tell you it is OK. It might help if she uses a vibe on her clit to get her excited.

8) Personally, I like to put a vibe in my pussy as well, but let us start with this first.

9) You can cum in her there, it is safe. (Remember that you can get diseases this way, but you are married) FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE NOT MARRIED - ALWAYS USE A CONDOM WITH ANAL SEX - ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS!

There you go!

For your information, anal sex for the first time was my idea. I love anal sex. I loved it from the first time someone did it to me the right way. The first, first time - well, let us just say he did not observe the lube up and go slow rule!

Good Luck, have fun!

mikayla

[12GAUGE]

Quiet Guy:

Anal sex is hitting the sex scene with a BAM! Anal sex is an enjoyable addition to any healthy -heterosexual or homosexual - relationship. In short, it is not just for gay men anymore!

What your wife needs to experience is the slow introduction to it, in the mindset of it is for her pleasure. These are my suggestions:

1) NEVER use alcohol when you are trying anal play. It is extremely important that both of you are aware and cognizant!

2) I suggest trying to slowly introduce "newbies" to the practice of anal sex, with a toy or vibrator. Perhaps you could rim her with your tongue during oral sex, then use a lubricated finger to stick in just a tad.

3) Once she likes that feeling, go for the little vibe, (use one made for anal play - it can get lost up there) and start going in just a little during oral sex. Believe me, once she has an orgasm while you are playing with her ass, she will be hooked!

4) Then once you have the vibe going all the way up there - and this process might take a long time - days, weeks, months - then ease her into your cock.

5) Once you start with your cock - or actually anything that is going up there - ALWAYS USE A LOT OF LUBE-

MAJOR RULES OF ANAL SEX:

a) There can never be too much lube

Go slow, be patient

c) Should never hurt - if it hurts, you are going to fast

d) There can never be too much lube

Mikayla is a very smart and sexy woman and I consider her a good friend..............Since I met my gf I have been talking anal sex with her BUT I want her to fuck ME in my ass mainly for selfish reasons-I WANT ANOTHER ANAL ORGASM......like I had just once before more than 4 months ago. She is worried that she would hurt me. I bring up this subject frequently with her and the last time we were making out I had her spanking me to show her how much I enjoy spanking and that it doesn't hurt and that I do love it so....eventually I hope to enjoy anal with her as a top but I am DEAD DOG SERIOUS WHEN I SAY I WANT MY BABY TO DO ME FIRST.....though i expect there will be no butt sex for me until we are married since we are not having full sex (she wants to save that for our wedding night-she thinks it will be more special). I am going slow with her...we are talking about it (me mostly). I want her to be curious and ask questions. I have some books that I leave out where she can find them I am going slow....and am biding my time looking forward to the possibility of my getting some after we tie the knot though it is her wish (and she has told me this) that she can keep me satisfied with her hot pussy....I am sure that will be the case to start with though I have told her I want us to delve into the joy of role playing and bondage and discipline. I have broached this subject quite often to awaken her curiousity and I hope and pray my efforts are successfull eventually. I hope this helps you...as Mikayla said anal sex is not just for gay men anymore-EVERYONE SHOULD TRY IT AT LEAST 2 OR 3 OR 9 OR 69 TIMES...he he he he he........ peace everyone kisses 12G

[curvacious_lust]

Hey 12G (and to any other man reading this)

Anal sex is actually VERY GOOD for a man. It massages the prostate and helps decrease prostatitis and BPH (benigh prostatic hyperplasia = enlargement of the prostate that sometimes is a precursor to prostate cancer). So to all men, straight, bi, or gay.....GO FOR IT and ENJOY IT FOR GOOD HEALTH!!!

[sexynshyrissa]

I BEGGED for it. I know from personal experience with toys (that someone stepped on ) that I loved anal stimulation...hope that answeres your question

[promiscuouseuphoria]

Interesting. I have not enjoyed my experiences with anal, but I suspect my partner went about it the wrong way - if nothing else, he was somewhat rushed. It makes me curious to see positive responses from women about it.

[Mikayla1]

Oh honey, anal experiences can be WONDERFUL...if you have a partner who is willing to go slow, and at a pace which is comfortable for YOU. As you can see from my post above, there are some major "rules" to anal play which will make the experience more enjoyable for you. Rushing normally = pain! I suggest to you if you want to try it again, get an anal toy, start out slow with the toy so you can discover the feeling of it, then try again for the penis!

You will have a much more enjoyable time, and it will be something you can share on an occassional or regualr basis with your lover from then on!

Mikayla

[sessi79]

Oh honey, anal experiences can be WONDERFUL...if you have a partner who is willing to go slow, and at a pace which is comfortable for YOU. As you can see from my post above, there are some major "rules" to anal play which will make the experience more enjoyable for you. Rushing normally = pain! I suggest to you if you want to try it again, get an anal toy, start out slow with the toy so you can discover the feeling of it, then try again for the penis!

You will have a much more enjoyable time, and it will be something you can share on an occassional or regualr basis with your lover from then on!

Mikayla

I'm really curious to try new sexual experiences, especially anal, but I grew up in a very strict catholic home & so I feel dirty or like I'm doing something wrong when I have sex any other way than missionary. My Hb grew up in a similar situation and he's kind of timid also, but I know there's a sexual fiend in there somewhere...I can see it in his eyes when we fuck. We tried anal a really long time ago when we were younger and first dating and it was really weird for both of us cuz we had no idea what we were doing. I've since started watching some porn & reading all these posts, but I don't know how to approach this again with my husband without him thinking I'm a freak or worse a slut! I'm also kind of freaked about the prospect of "making a mess", if you know what I mean. Any suggestions?

[tracey]

You should be having regular- like once a month, or at very least once a year- discussion sessions with your husband about sex. What he does you like, what you do he likes, frequency, positions, oral, manual, vaginal, and anal intercourse should all be topics that you are free to discuss. These should take place with your clothes on, and away from the bedroom, or any other place you commonly use to make love. There have to be ground rules for these talk. This is a fact finding event, and there is no place for rejection, approbation, ridicule, outrage, condemnation, etc. Each agrees to listen. By now, you have figured out that people's interests in sex change as they mature, and get more experience with each other. There is a natural desire to try new things with someone you love and are comfortable with as a lover. What those " New Things " are depends on where the two of you are, and have been. Read books, watch porn, as you have, get ideas from TV shows, etc. Take a trip together to an adult book store, and check out the sex toys. Talk to each other about adding toys to your love making. Look at the catelog here with your husband, and check out the goodies. If either of you don't know what something is, or how it is used, ASK! Someone here will either know, or find out for you.

The more you learn to talk to each other about sex, the more fun it will be, and both of you will get past the embarrassment you now feel about talking about these things. We all have to get over this problem. You are not the first or last person who finds it difficult to talk to your spouse about sex, and trying new things, or positions. Before my wife and I became lovers, I insisted that we sit down and talk about sex, and be willing to answer any question asked by the other. Nothing was off limits. We met over lunch in a restaurant where we found a booth that was away from most of the other patrons, and gave us some privacy. We alternated questions and answers. It was the most erotic "lunch" she ever had with her clothes on, she claimed months later.

To answer your direct question, you have the advantage because you did try anal sex many years ago. Ask him if he remembers that incident, and what he thinks about that kind of sex. Then tell him that you have been reading some stuff on line that indicates you both probably felt uncomfortable because you didn't really know what you were doing. Ask him if he would like to try having anal sex with you again? ( Like you can't guess the answer to that question?) Then ask him to watch the porn movies you have seen that inspired you to try this again. Or, if you don't want him to know that just yet, why not order the BetterSex.com video on Anal sex, or one of the two videos by Nina Hartley on the subject. It will be both instructive, and a turn on, and should be a natural lead-in to another attempt. To reduce or eliminate the chance at being hurt when he puts his cock into you, I have to suggest that you buy a couple of butt plugs, or vibrators, starting with a small size, and then medium one, and use them to open your anus up to the idea of penetration. It takes time for the rectum to stretch the skins there to accomodate an erect cock, and you can help matters along if you use the butt plugs to slowly open you up over an hour or so before engaging in anal sex with him. After you have learned to accomodate his size by having anal sex several times, you may not need to use the butt plugs or vibrators to loosen up again. But, always take it slow, and use more lube than you think is necessary.

As for the mess, that is a fact of life. Have him wear a condom, to make it easier to clean his cock off when you finish. Keep a wet cloth or towel on the bedstand to use to clean you up when you are done. Even if you douche before having anal sex, there is always the possibility that some fecal materials will work its way down and onto his cock, and out your anus when he withdraws. Some tissue, and a hot wet cloth can take care of the problem and feel very good on your anus. Those insulated containers that motels provide for holding ice in your room can also be used, obviously without the ice cubes, to keep hot wash cloths HOT, until you need them. I even know one couple who bought an old thermos bottle at a garage sale and use that to keep a hot towel hot by the bed to use to clean up each other. It goes into the washing machine over night, with anti-bacterial soap, and its done in the morning! Most of all, Have Fun. One or both of you should have your hands on your clit while he is in your ass, making you very happy, and giving you very intense orgasms. When you finally learn to relax your PC muscles during anal sex, you will be able to climax from that alone. But it is also fun to use a vibrator of dildoe in your pussy for that extra full feeling. He will be able to feel the vibrator through the wall of tissue between your vagina and your rectum, so don't think you are being selfish by using a vibrator. He will love you for it!

I have always enjoyed the foreplay and rimming that comes with anal sex, but the actual penetration has always been so painful. And I bleed afterward. Alot. I did go and have it checked, and had to have a colonoscopy, and no, I did not tell the doctor that having anal sex started the bleeding, but I did find out that I have internal polyps (similar to a hemmroid). I would definitely advise anyone who has pain when trying that, to stop, and if there is bleeding, and you know when it is bleeding from inside or just from being stretched, to get it checked. One of the issues I had with my husband was that he loves to have anal sex regardless of it hurt me or not. And if he had to use force to get it, then he did. Anal sex should never hurt, and should never, never be forced. It is defenitely something one has to be relaxed but excited for, and very well lubricated.