What Are You Telling Your Kids?

[hollyluvsjeff]

Hey,

I was just posting on the topic about you and your SOs sexual journey together and realized Id been quite tainted by some things that were said to me by dear old dad as a child.

So my question for you child havers out there:

What are you telling your kids? about sex or the opposite sex, and What did your parents tell you?

[sun_flower969]

Hey,

I was just posting on the topic about you and your SOs sexual journey together and realized Id been quite tainted by some things that were said to me by dear old dad as a child.

So my question for you child havers out there:

What are you telling your kids? about sex or the opposite sex, and What did your parents tell you?

God! I worry about this all the time. I was told to wait till marriage. I was told what sex was and about male/female body parts etc. That is pretty much it. My kids are little 5, 4, and 6 months. I feel that I want to be open and easy to talk to about sex. I hopefully can foster great self esteem in them and teach them to truly respect themselves. I think waiting till marriage is an unrealistic expectation. I want my girls to be educated about sex and orgasms and all the good things we are entitled to. Even typing that I feel weird about it, isn't that sad. WHY because it's taboo? SCREW that! I want them to have what I didn't for the longest time! As far as my son, My H wants him to really respect women, not treat them as objects. Hopefully they will grow up with the right attitudes about everything... Their happiness is imperative to me.

[Tyger]

So far, my DD (who's 5) hasn't reached that point yet. She keeps saying she wants to be a Mom, and how does she do that? So far, I've told her she needs to wait until she's much, much older, find a man that she loves, who loves her, and she trusts to have a baby with, and sometimes that takes a long time. She is very impatient and doesn't want to wait though. She knows basic terms as far as genitals. Just Pee-pee and "booty" for her anus. She knows Daddy's pee-pee is different, but hasn't really questioned why. She's walked in on him in the bathroom before, but was quickly ushered out. She also knows "boobs/boobies", and for some reason, pokes at mine. LOL

[pappyld04]

Mom has always been straight up with us and that guy she was married to when I was born acts like it's a sin. I've had to tread lightly around this subject with three girls, 1 mine and 2 hers. Her x had done some things to those girls that I wasn't sure how to deal with myself. I had never dealt with that problem so I just left it alone for the most part and let her deal with that.

[Amylynn920]

We tell him the truth. In language he can understand, and we both feel if he can ask the question he deserves an honest answer.

I don't use slang and Eric doesn't either. We look at it this way no one talked baby talk to him when he was a baby because he needed to learn English. So for example bottle was always bottle not bubbie.

But we do explain the slang. If he said "What are balls?" I would say it's another word for testicles.

We don't want him raised uptight, there's enough of that in the world as it is.

We want him educated but on levels he's ready for.

[angelkisses98]

my son just turned 11, and about 6mths ago he came to me and asked me what a blow job was..he heard about it from a kid on class..i was honest with him..he is old enough to understand. i want him to be comfortable enough to come to me and his stepfather about any questions he may have. i would rather him hear it the proper way from us, then from the kids at school .

[blueberry]

My parents taught me exactly nothing. Zero. They have never talked about sex with us kids. I was in shock and crying when I first got my period when I was 12 years old - I knew nothing about it. I think you can get the picture... Throughout my teen years I thought I was a pervert or weird for masturbating and was awfully ashamed of it.

I don't want my kids (hopefully some day I will have children) to grow up knowing nothing. I don't want sexuality to be a taboo for them. But like Aiden said, on levels they are ready for.

[zakdad]

My parents NEVER talked to me about sex. I learned from reading and doing. That is one reason I love this place! People can learn so much from this forum no matter what experience level you are. Just wish it was around when I was learning! Of course I practiced a lot with my girlfriends and by myself!!haha

As for my kids, we talk about anything! Yeah, when they were younger we would use words that they understood, but now they are old enough to be told the real deal. Neither of them want to know about our sex life and have never really tried to tell them about all of that. They get grossed out when they know we are going to have sex, but we tell them that they should be happy that their parents still love each other and want to have sex!

They know that they can come to us for anything! We never encourage them to have sex yet, but tell them if they are that they have to be careful and use protection!! We are not ready to be grandparents or for them to get an STD. We believe in letting them know what is out there and sex isn't dirty, but that they shouldn't be doing it with just anybody!

A freind of our daughter's just found out that she has clamitia(SP?) and it was a good reminder to both of them to see what can happen if you are not careful! I think it really openned our daughters eyes to what can happen! We are also proud of her for telling us about this and she has been helping her friend understand that it is OK, but she needs to be more careful if she is going to have sex!! At least her friend is not pregnant or has a disease that you can't get rid of! It will make our kids think before they do something unprotected! We are very happy that they know they can talk to us about ANYTHING!!

Peace,

Mark

[ladylove]

My parent told me nothing........ my mom took me to an educational medical film on sex, and growing up and that was it. It wasn't discussed period. And my Dad, well you didn't talk to men about such matters period. I think this is a horrible way to approach anything.

I have told my kids that having sex is part of most all loving relationships between two married people. They might not want to here that but it's true. When my kid were very little I told that mommy and daddy loved each other in a very special way and thats how they came to be. You just have to know what you and your child can handle, and go as far as you feel appropriate.

Also; my kids never asked me, yet, if I waited for marriage or not but I would tell them the truth. I have told all my children not be so casual when it comes to sex; for either be oral or penetration. It is my opinion, that if you love someone there is no greater way to express that love. When it comes time to make the decision, to or not to, your the only one who can make that decision. You're also the only one that has to live with the decision; and if you decide you are going to be sexually active come to me and just tell me you think you need to go to the OBGYN so you can make an informed decision about what birth control you want. No judgments! No questions!

For my son, never have sex without a condom, even if she says she's on the pill; it could be a mistake you have to live with for he rest of your natural life.

This next statement will be very controversial, but I'm going to include it any way.

I have also told my girls that if they are sexually active, and for whatever reason they find themselves pregnant, they should come to me and I will take them to get an abortion; but by no means is this a form a birth control. You need to be responsible.

[mailahn97]

My parents never told me anything....hence probably my very sheltered life that I used to lead. I will when it comes time talk to my daughter. I don't want her to go through what I went through. She is only 5 and tells me that she is getting married when she is 6 as she will be old enough and that they are having 2 kids....a boy and a girl. She hasn't questioned anything as of yet as she has walked in on her father. I am sure give it time she will be asking away as she is little miss curiousity. I would much rather her come to me and learn everything the right way. In this day and age I want to be open with her between disease and teen pregnancy I want to avoid that as much as possible.

[nosleepnmesa]

My house is a very open honest house when it comes to sex. I tell them the truth, mind you though my oldest is 19,18,17, the boys since their father was to shy to tell them or teach them it was me. MY daughter who is 11yrs old knows more about sex I think then most 18yr girls. I am very upfront and open and honest about it and always have been. My daughter though also started PMS at 8.5, which she was already prepared for. I have always believed that honest was the best thing when it came to my children. My daughter and I had the complete sex talk, she can tell you about every part of a man and women, details on how babies are made ect using the proper words.

My parents however werent like that really but I also believe that times have changed alot. Hell I know that you sure didn't hear to many 9yr olds getting pregnant when I was younger. Although I wasn't raised in a house so open as mine is, I decided that there is nothing to be embarassed about when talking with your children, it is a natural enjoyable adult time. We have discussed alot of things in this house. Although at what age you talk to your children depends on the maturity level of them. My daughter is 11 but has been going on 30 I swear since she was 8.5yrs old. LOL

I am also a firm believer that is the parents responsibility to talk with their children. Hell last year my daughter got a letter from the nurse to bring to me saying that they were showing a film about the Anatomy of a women and what causes their menstrual cycle ect.. My daughter said, and I quote "I could prolly teach that mom." I laughed a little and then she asked do I really have to sit threw it. I said, " no" and that I would call the nurse in the morning. The nurse said, " not a problem" as long as she could take the short quiz on it. MY daughter walked in that morning to school took the short quiz and passed with flying colors then got to come home for about another hour or so.

[triedntru]

My mom and I had a very good relationship, I'm not sure we ever had the "sex talk" but it was just a normal day conversation...like "What would you do if I got pregnant (at 14 years old mind you). Her response was "Support you but you will raise that baby if that's the choice you make". I try to be honest with my kids, but it's not always easy. When we were camping this summer, my daughter pops up (while we were in the tent), that her and her boyfriend were having sex. Shocked the hell outta me! I just asked her if she knew what sex was and she said "kissing". I didn't know what to say, so I said her boyfriend (who, btw, is invisible...to my knowledge...lol) couldn't sleep in the tent or in her house with her. I think I screwed it up though....lmao

[hollyluvsjeff]

She knows basic terms as far as genitals. Just Pee-pee and "booty" for her anus. She knows Daddy's pee-pee is different, but hasn't really questioned why. She's walked in on him in the bathroom before, but was quickly ushered out. She also knows "boobs/boobies", and for some reason, pokes at mine. LOL

I remember calling my, um, kitten, a 'poo-chie'

Has anyone heard the term "ginch" before in reference to undies? That was the norm when i lived in Bc then i moved to ontario and no one knew what i was saying...

[hollyluvsjeff]

[quote name='ladylove' date='Jul 21 2008, 02:26 PM' post='62933'

This next statement will be very controversial, but I'm going to include it any way.

I have also told my girls that if they are sexually active, and for whatever reason they find themselves pregnant, they should come to me and I will take them to get an abortion; but by no means is this a form a birth control. You need to be responsible.

Fucking eh. I would say the same. Kudos to you for going there, i bet alot of parents wouldnt.

[ladylove]

[quote name='ladylove' date='Jul 21 2008, 02:26 PM' post='62933'

This next statement will be very controversial, but I'm going to include it any way.

I have also told my girls that if they are sexually active, and for whatever reason they find themselves pregnant, they should come to me and I will take them to get an abortion; but by no means is this a form a birth control. You need to be responsible.

Fucking eh. I would say the same. Kudos to you for going there, i bet alot of parents wouldnt.

Thanks, I appreciate that. I thought I'd get a lot of heat for that comment.

[pappyld04]

My house is a very open honest house when it comes to sex. I tell them the truth, mind you though my oldest is 19,18,17, the boys since their father was to shy to tell them or teach them it was me. MY daughter who is 11yrs old knows more about sex I think then most 18yr girls. I am very upfront and open and honest about it and always have been. My daughter though also started PMS at 8.5, which she was already prepared for. I have always believed that honest was the best thing when it came to my children. My daughter and I had the complete sex talk, she can tell you about every part of a man and women, details on how babies are made ect using the proper words.

My parents however werent like that really but I also believe that times have changed alot. Hell I know that you sure didn't hear to many 9yr olds getting pregnant when I was younger. Although I wasn't raised in a house so open as mine is, I decided that there is nothing to be embarassed about when talking with your children, it is a natural enjoyable adult time. We have discussed alot of things in this house. Although at what age you talk to your children depends on the maturity level of them. My daughter is 11 but has been going on 30 I swear since she was 8.5yrs old. LOL

I am also a firm believer that is the parents responsibility to talk with their children. Hell last year my daughter got a letter from the nurse to bring to me saying that they were showing a film about the Anatomy of a women and what causes their menstrual cycle ect.. My daughter said, and I quote "I could prolly teach that mom." I laughed a little and then she asked do I really have to sit threw it. I said, " no" and that I would call the nurse in the morning. The nurse said, " not a problem" as long as she could take the short quiz on it. MY daughter walked in that morning to school took the short quiz and passed with flying colors then got to come home for about another hour or so.

I've got to give you two thumbs up on that one! That is IMHO the way we should raise our children.

[nosleepnmesa]

Thank you Pappy, I try when any of my children ever have a question even to this day honesty is the way to go! I got a call the other day from my oldest son's girlfriend, mind you I love her like mine own. I did find it a little hard to explain new tech. to her on giving a blowjob, but I did it. I didn't feeel embarassed just strange that she called me instead of her own mother etc.. I also directed her to this site since she is 21, and told her that there were lots of wonderful people here, and even if she never wanted to post that would be alright, but that she could find alot of helpful and educational information.

Thank you!!

[pappyld04]

If that doesn't say something great about this site nothing ever will! She apparently feels very comfortable talking to you about this and you hit a home run!

[hollyluvsjeff]

Here is a wonderful book:

Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle

Get it cheap on Amazon....we got a copy and just mixed it in with the other story books that the kids had...when they asked us to read it, we did, and answered questions honestly...but the book is pretty complete and age appropriate...a great follow up for puberty called: 'What's Happening to Me?"

Man,

My sister got sent home from school for bringing this book into class! Her teacher wanted her suspended

[froggystyle1977]

I am open and honest with my kids if they have questions I have answers!! My 13 yr old freaked out when he came into the bathroom when he was 5 and saw that mommy was bleeding, so I sat him down and told him that every girl bleeds when they get older, its how thier bodies get ready for having babies. the discussion ended there. Even at 4 when he asked about the womans parts in my docs office I explained them. My doc was shocked and very suprised but was happy to see a parent doing it the right way (her words not mine)

The other 2 haven't asked questions as of yet so I haven't had to go there LOL We also use correct terminology with the kids, I find it important to use the correct words instead of baby type talk.

[tootimidtoo]

My parents never told us anything. I was always ashamed of sex and that really hindered my sex life with my hubby for years. With my own children I want to be very open with them. My five and two year old now the proper term for genetilia. My daughter has walked in on me during my monthly cycle annd I explained to her that all women have periods every month to prepare to have a baby. My hubby told my daughter from the time she was three that only she, Mommy and the doctor were allowed to touch her vagina and only when she was sore and we needed to see what was wrong (she is prone to UTI's). I am very concerned with molestation since it was a factor in my adolecent years.

Hubby was made to feel ashamed of masturbation. We want our son(s) to know it is normal and ok, but I don't want to find the remnants! I want our children to be able to come to us with anything. I try hard not to make them feel ashamed of anything. I will explain to them the very real dangers (STD's) and consequences (pregnancy) of sex, but also ways to protect themselves. I would prefer them to not have sex at a young age, or with every Tom, Dick and Harry. But they will be able to make their own decisions. And I need to trust them to make the right ones.

[tootimidtoo]

I have also told my girls that if they are sexually active, and for whatever reason they find themselves pregnant, they should come to me and I will take them to get an abortion; but by no means is this a form a birth control. You need to be responsible.

I am not anti-abortion, so don't take this wrong. I know girls that try to get pregnant (my sister), so I would worry in that situation they may not tell you they are pregnant for fear of being pressured to have an abortion they don't want. Just throwing that out there, no offense intended.

[spanky]

My parents were divorced and although we never had THE SEX TALK, sex was talked about it openly at my Dads house, it was never talked about at my Moms house. Back when I was in high school masturbations was taboo, if you masturbated you were a weirdo. My wife came from a family that sex was not discussed at all, she was a virgin until a year before we got married, although she was not my first. So the sex discussion at our house now with my two daughters is very little, if they bring it up it is talked about. As far as masturbation my wife thinks it is wrong and it is not done, I will not discourage my kids if they do it, just tell them it is private. As far as having sex I will try and encourage my daughters to wait untill they are married, but this day in age when sex is everywhere it is hard to avoid, I

just hope to instill SAFE SEX practice. I hope that my girls feel comfortable enough to talk freely about sex with us if they need.

[pappyld04]

My hubby told my daughter from the time she was three that only she, Mommy and the doctor were allowed to touch her vagina and only when she was sore and we needed to see what was wrong (she is prone to UTI's). I am very concerned with molestation since it was a factor in my adolecent years.

Hubby was made to feel ashamed of masturbation. We want our son(s) to know it is normal and ok, but I don't want to find the remnants! I want our children to be able to come to us with anything. I try hard not to make them feel ashamed of anything. I will explain to them the very real dangers (STD's) and consequences (pregnancy) of sex, but also ways to protect themselves. I would prefer them to not have sex at a young age, or with every Tom, Dick and Harry. But they will be able to make their own decisions. And I need to trust them to make the right ones.

I know a lot of people may think this is wrong but I say give hubby a high five on that one. I may be called all kinds of things but knowing how my gf's kids were treated made me take that same course. Not with just her kids.

[ladylove]

I am not anti-abortion, so don't take this wrong. I know girls that try to get pregnant (my sister), so I would worry in that situation they may not tell you they are pregnant for fear of being pressured to have an abortion they don't want. Just throwing that out there, no offense intended.

I understand what you are saying, but my girls are very independent and not looking to get tied down or for the responsibility.... they're to interested in school, travel and fun.....