Confused And Trying For A G-spot Orgasm

[timesarose]

hey im new here, i mostly came to this site cause it had a great article on acheiving a g-spot orgasm

anyways i thought that maybe others on here could give me some advice

i have had 6 boyfriends in the past number of years since i started dating and with every guy none could get me to orgasm

some were too focused on it and i felt bad when they couldnt and they got frustrated and put out (i understand that men want to please thier woman, if they dont some feel they aren't a real man, for lack of a better description)

anyways, i am now with an incredible man, a man i intend to marry, i love him so so so so much

the only thing is i still have problems in this area, and i still havent reached an orgasm via my partner, he is patient and loving and tries everytihng, its cute, but i feel bad cause i dont get there

sometimes sex sessions are very emotional afterwards, i have always been the girl that knows alot about sex, but i cant get an orgasm via g-spot and i dont feel like a....whole woman i guess

if anyone has any advice it would really really help

my therapist says its my emotional baggage getting in the way, that i cant just let go which could be true and i am getting closer to letting go, but im hoping to accumulate every possibility and every idea that i can try out along with her advice

so any tips, ideas, thoeries on why, anything really would be greatly appreciated

[Mikayla1]

WELCOME!!!

OK, first I have to clarify a few things: You say no man has been able to get you to orgasm? Are you speaking about vaginal, G-spot or clitoral? You are very young - only 18 - and while that doesn't mean you are necessarily inexperienced, I don't know many (if any) young women who can have g-spot orgasms super easily.

Can you orgasm yourself? Via hand, toy, etc.?

As far as the ability to have orgasms go, clitoral is the 'easiest' to have, vaginal (inner clitoral with penetration) is the next, and g-spot is the hardest, the holy grail if you will. I have several articles on all of these, you may want to peruse them.

I would simply suggest not putting so much pressure on yourself. If YOU can enjoy sex, and orgasm clitorally - don't fret, the g-spot will come (pun intended) eventually. If you can't have any type of orgasm with a partner, then we may have to delve into this a little deeper.

So, answer my questions and I am sure I or someone else here will be able to assist you!

[timesarose]

lol forgot to go into those, i think my writing was quite vague there

yes i can have orgasms myself but only clitoral, i have been having those via myself since i was.....i think 13 lol, i cant remember

anyways

and no man has been able to get me to orgasm in any of those ways actually, for me it seems hardest for a guy to get me off clitorally, maybe cause im so used to myself doing it

yeah i am pretty young, i guess i have just always wanted one, and this unable to release seems to be making me more stressed than i realize, which is highly frustrating

now the clitoral just dont seem as strong or fullfilling any more when i masturbate

usually i use a toy though, my hand takes longer and doesnt seem to get me off all the way, it feels like half an orgasm if that makes sense lol

i did read your g-spot article, which was extremely insightful ill tell yah, so many things i didnt know, and alot of things that eased my doubt

i mean i do enjoy sex, i really really do, i just never get there either clitorally or inner wall or g-spot with someone else

my bf is using his hand and has found my g-spot and it feels AWESOME, but i never get there still, either i loose my focus and can't keep it anymore lol, or his hand gets tired, or shoudler actually, i like it better when he thrusts than leaves his hand in place and does the come hither, i tihnk just cause it seems too much i guess, a little overpowering idk

lol guess we will have to delve in deeper lol, nice pun by the way in ur reply

[Amylynn920]

lol forgot to go into those, i think my writing was quite vague there

yes i can have orgasms myself but only clitoral, i have been having those via myself since i was.....i think 13 lol, i cant remember

anyways

and no man has been able to get me to orgasm in any of those ways actually, for me it seems hardest for a guy to get me off clitorally, maybe cause im so used to myself doing it

yeah i am pretty young, i guess i have just always wanted one, and this unable to release seems to be making me more stressed than i realize, which is highly frustrating

now the clitoral just dont seem as strong or fullfilling any more when i masturbate

usually i use a toy though, my hand takes longer and doesnt seem to get me off all the way, it feels like half an orgasm if that makes sense lol

i did read your g-spot article, which was extremely insightful ill tell yah, so many things i didnt know, and alot of things that eased my doubt

i mean i do enjoy sex, i really really do, i just never get there either clitorally or inner wall or g-spot with someone else

my bf is using his hand and has found my g-spot and it feels AWESOME, but i never get there still, either i loose my focus and can't keep it anymore lol, or his hand gets tired, or shoudler actually, i like it better when he thrusts than leaves his hand in place and does the come hither, i tihnk just cause it seems too much i guess, a little overpowering idk

lol guess we will have to delve in deeper lol, nice pun by the way in ur reply

Ah the elusive Gspot orgasm. And to think some "experts" still argue it doesn't exist.

Gspot o's are different for every woman. Some get them easily, some don't. And some women ejaculate, some don't.

I think your key might be the fact that you are concentrating on it so much that you're missing it. What about trying by yourself with a toy or your fingers? There are some great Gspot toys here that may be able to help you. Also they could give your partners fingers a break too.

As far as not climaxing with your partner, have you tried letting him use a toy on you? Or you using one during intercourse or during foreplay? There is nothing wrong with using a toy.

What works the best for us in getting that gspot orgasm, is using a vibrator in conjuction with his fingers stimulating my gspot or his tongue and fingers. I like a consistent massaging motion on my gspot more than a "come hither" motion but that's what works for me.

Also keep in mind it's not up to him to 'give' you that orgasm, it's up to you to do what you need to do to get it. So participate with him in working towards it.

Move the way you need to and stimulate yourself the way you need to. Good luck and keep us posted!

[thunderchild]

I have been with my hubby for nearly 16 years, it was only last year he experienced my orgasm. No matter what he did he could not get me to cum, not that it stopped us having sex

Then I brought my first rabbit vibe about 18 months ago and experience my first clitoral orgasm from masturbating with a toy before this I just used to squeeze my thighs together for about 5 minutes and I would cum! Then my body started to learn how to orgasm in different ways. I have to use a small bullet vibe to cum when my husband is inside me but he can now get me off on oral with no toy.

We are trying for the elusive G-spot, I have the Doc Johnson Lucid Dreams N0 14, that's a good G-spot vibe to get as the vibe is right at then end. I have felt the urge to pee build but not quite got there with it, the first time he used it on me it was the strongest feeling but I didn't let go as was not sure what hubby would have done if I had squirted all over him!!! Thankfully this issue is now resolved!

I guess it's all about teaching your body new tricks, its all a learning process. You are young and you and your partner have plenty of time to learn. Me and my hubby have been together since I was 17 and we are still learning!!!!

[timesarose]

to Aiden

i have tried a toy myself to find the g-spot, it sort of works, idk, maybe i havent figuered it out yet lol, my bf certainly can find it, i cant seem to find it as well

he bought a bullet vibe for me, and we are gonna try using that in conjunction with his hands

i do agree that its up to me in a sense, of getting there, he can only do so much, the rest is up to me lol

i have so many ideas now lol, u guys are so helpful i love this site, and ive been filling him in on tons of new stuff as well as new things that i need to acheive, such as letting go and stuff and what im afraid of like squirting all over him or sometihng lol, idk, but but we are seeing each other tomaroo and were hoping to try some of the new ideas out

to thunderchild

lol same here, i still HIGHLY enjoy sex with him, the rush, the feeling, the closeness, everything kinda gives u a mind orgasm if that makes sense instead of a body one, it just blows ur mind

dam ur lucky with the squeezing the thighs together part, that is awesome, were u able to do that in public, or did u need a serious amount of focus and such?

it may sound wierd but my first clitoral orgasm i acheived was via my electric toothbrush lol, if u take off the brush attachment there is a small metal peice that vibrates, REALLY WELL lol

i have the same fear still, more of the what will happen when i let go, what if i fart or something (which is quite dum to worry about, but i am the worrying queen lol) or if i squirt and he thinks its pee or something

all those worries hinder the process, they are just really hard to get rid of

the nice thing is that there is all the time in the world

im so glad im not the only one that had or is having these difficulties

[thunderchild]

to thunderchild

lol same here, i still HIGHLY enjoy sex with him, the rush, the feeling, the closeness, everything kinda gives u a mind orgasm if that makes sense instead of a body one, it just blows ur mind

dam ur lucky with the squeezing the thighs together part, that is awesome, were u able to do that in public, or did u need a serious amount of focus and such?

it may sound wierd but my first clitoral orgasm i acheived was via my electric toothbrush lol, if u take off the brush attachment there is a small metal peice that vibrates, REALLY WELL lol

i have the same fear still, more of the what will happen when i let go, what if i fart or something (which is quite dum to worry about, but i am the worrying queen lol) or if i squirt and he thinks its pee or something

all those worries hinder the process, they are just really hard to get rid of

the nice thing is that there is all the time in the world

im so glad im not the only one that had or is having these difficulties

Yes I could get away with doing it anywhere if I wanted!! Just think rude thoughts and squeeze away!!! LOL

I wanted to know what my hubby thought if I had squirted over him and sent a text saying on day I will squirt all over your face! He said he would lap up everything I gave him so that kinda sorted that one!! Just bring about the discussion in a playful way and see what he says, at least you will know.

Let me know how you get on! I would love to know how to do it!

[Tyger]

OK, well, in reading the other responses, you got some GREAT advise.

So, here's the deal, from my POV:

You are young, and even though you've had some lovers, apparently,they didn't give much in the way of "experience." Don't be too hard on 'em, most young men are in it for the NUT and not much else.

How in the world can you expect to have an orgasm when you have difficulty giving yourself one? Yes, you can when you masturbate. Darlin', don't beat yourself up. 80-85% of women (so the vast majority) have to have clit stimulation to be able to orgasm. It depends on the woman, but, some, like myself, need CONSTANT clit stimulation to get off. Other's need it here and there. And, it depends on HOW you're being stimulated.

You made a good point when you said that you probably can make yourself cum cuz you know how to do it, and therefore are use to it that way. Our bodies get into "ruts" where they get use to something, and we usually stick with it. It's up to you and your MIND to figure out other ways.

Yes, I said it, your MIND. Did you know that our BRAINS are the largest sexual organ we have? I don't care what anyone else says, but, if you are stressed out, or thinking about tomorrow's "To Do List", you can't relax enough to have a decent orgasm! Thinking or trying hard to cum makes it almost impossible to actually do so. You also need to retrain yourself to not think what you're thinking during sex right now. For example, are you thinking, "There is NO way he's going to be able to stimulate me enough to cum."? If so, he's doomed even before your panties hit the floor. Let your mind go. Literally. Tell it to shut the hell up, and then relax. Concentrate on HOW your BF is stimulating you. Don't worry about anything else.

As far as a g-spot orgasm, you really need to learn to walk before you can run. Allowing yourself to be able to orgasm freely, enjoying your body, and the sensations, and learning how to relax is all keys. Shooooooooot, I didn't have my first g-spot orgasm until about 2 yrs ago!!! Yes, really. And it was totally by accident! For me, my hubby has NO chance in hell to manually stimulate me to a g-spot orgasm. I have to have a toy, which can be directed, and it has to be FIRM too. I have a glass toy that works WONDERS for that!!! It's called the Blue Swirl. Glass ROCKS by the way!! LOL

G-spots themselves vary from woman to woman. Some women have a fairly "large" patch that can be stimulated, while others have a very small patch, and some women claim not to even have the spongy patch that is known to be the G-Spot.

I hope that this, and the other posters, have helped you out.

~Best Wishes~

[sun_flower969]

OK, well, in reading the other responses, you got some GREAT advise.

So, here's the deal, from my POV:

You are young, and even though you've had some lovers, apparently,they didn't give much in the way of "experience." Don't be too hard on 'em, most young men are in it for the NUT and not much else.

How in the world can you expect to have an orgasm when you have difficulty giving yourself one? Yes, you can when you masturbate. Darlin', don't beat yourself up. 80-85% of women (so the vast majority) have to have clit stimulation to be able to orgasm. It depends on the woman, but, some, like myself, need CONSTANT clit stimulation to get off. Other's need it here and there. And, it depends on HOW you're being stimulated.

You made a good point when you said that you probably can make yourself cum cuz you know how to do it, and therefore are use to it that way. Our bodies get into "ruts" where they get use to something, and we usually stick with it. It's up to you and your MIND to figure out other ways.

Yes, I said it, your MIND. Did you know that our BRAINS are the largest sexual organ we have? I don't care what anyone else says, but, if you are stressed out, or thinking about tomorrow's "To Do List", you can't relax enough to have a decent orgasm! Thinking or trying hard to cum makes it almost impossible to actually do so. You also need to retrain yourself to not think what you're thinking during sex right now. For example, are you thinking, "There is NO way he's going to be able to stimulate me enough to cum."? If so, he's doomed even before your panties hit the floor. Let your mind go. Literally. Tell it to shut the hell up, and then relax. Concentrate on HOW your BF is stimulating you. Don't worry about anything else.

As far as a g-spot orgasm, you really need to learn to walk before you can run. Allowing yourself to be able to orgasm freely, enjoying your body, and the sensations, and learning how to relax is all keys. Shooooooooot, I didn't have my first g-spot orgasm until about 2 yrs ago!!! Yes, really. And it was totally by accident! For me, my hubby has NO chance in hell to manually stimulate me to a g-spot orgasm. I have to have a toy, which can be directed, and it has to be FIRM too. I have a glass toy that works WONDERS for that!!! It's called the Blue Swirl. Glass ROCKS by the way!! LOL

G-spots themselves vary from woman to woman. Some women have a fairly "large" patch that can be stimulated, while others have a very small patch, and some women claim not to even have the spongy patch that is known to be the G-Spot.

I hope that this, and the other posters, have helped you out.

~Best Wishes~

GREAT!

[zimmersdreamer]

I have the SAME problem!! I did finally have what I thought was an orgasm ( the g-spot orgasm) I didn't feel the body orgasm it wasn't a RUSH, or a massive release, but I didn't feel the tension build either so it lacked that 'OH YEAH' feeling instead I got a 'oh my holy I just peed in his face'feeling. It was durring oral and he loved(!!!) It, and he said it definatly wasn't pee.

Wow I didn't help u in ANY way, but you are not alone! I was 25 when that happened