Cheating. . .

[Mikayla1]

Lately the question has arose on the board about cheating - phone sex or cyber sex being cheating or not. There is also a poster who has admitted to having an affair. This has gotten me thinking....how many people actually have cheated? Either in their marriages or in prior relationships (non-marriages)?

Have you been the cheatee (cheated on) - or perhaps you weren't in a relationship but the guy / girl was. I am talking ful on sexual relationship here, not cyber sex or phone sex. So, out of curiousity....have you ever cheated? What made you cross the line?

I will answer first:

I was first a cheat-er, in the sense that I knew the guy I was sleeping with was engaged to be married, I was single. I thought, "hey, I am single, he isn't married, so I must not be cheating." Well, 3 years later when I was engaged and caught my fiancee between the legs of another girl, I felt differently - then I was obviously the cheat-ee! So, I have been on both sides.

For me, it was the sexual heat and attraction, combined with the "taboo" aspect that this was someone else's man. It got me hot to sneak off and fuck him. It was hot while it lasted, but he did marry her, and divorce her 2 years later.

I was lucky to catch my fiancee before we married, but it still hurt just the same. That was Karma coming around to bite my in my smug ass! Someone had done to me, exactly what I did to someone else 3 years prior.

So, anyone else have a story to tell about cheating?

Mikayla

[whiskeywoman]

Well,

I tried to cheat once,

I know your sitting there saying "how the hell can you TRY to cheat? either you do or you don't"

well i tried.

My first husband was off running around on me with some women,

hed come home from work and hed have claw marks on his back, and try and say they were from the bakery trays at work, yeah right, I bet the bread wasnt the ONLY thing cookin...

I met this totally awsome guy one night, we had a few drinks, got a good buzz going on, and started to make out, I didnt get past the kissing stage, it wasnt even a french kiss.

I was so racked with guilt, I couldnt go through with it.

Now as for being the cheatee, yeah I have been, several times.

For whatever reason it is, I just cant seem to make them happy enough to want to stay in a monogamous relationship.

Like I said, my 1st husband was messing around,

My second husband screwed around on me.

I worked in a factory doing assembly line, one of the machines broke down one night, no parts, no assembly, so we were all sent home with a full 8 hours pay (i had a super cool boss)

I came home early, I heard a noise in the bedroom, I looked in, and there is my hubby and the babysitter, both naked as the day they were born, on top of the covers going at it.

She said "Honey, I think we have company"

He looks over and SURPRISE! Then he tells me "Honey, this is not what it looks like"

Hes laying naked in our bed with his dick inside of her and its not what it looks like?!

then please pray tell what it is im seeing?

he tried to tell me she had an asthma attack, ok sure, ill buy that, NOT!

Later he had to explain to the police WHY he was in bed with a 13 yr old.

I found out last week my ex boyfriend was still married.

Would I have still gone out with him if I had known?

Probably not, but if I hadn't, I wouldnt have my beautiful baby girl now.

Would I cheat? no, I don't have what it takes to be a cheater, I tried once, but like I said, I was so racked with guilt I couldnt even get past kissing him.

I geuss I cant see things from a cheaters perspective as to how and WHY they can do it, everyone involved gets hurt in the long run.

[hrnychick]

I have been cheaated on in a past realtionship that at that time i thought was the love of my life.....We got along really good and i thought everything between us was fine.....stupid me.......He was working with this older woman at that time and i never did get the story from him but from what others have told me they started to hang out after work a group of them would go out for drinks etc.....then one day he just told me that it wasnt working for us,,,,and it was time for us to move on,,,,,,after that is when i found out from others that he was seeing her while still with me,,,,,It a very hard time in my life hard for me to forgive and forget I KNOW he is the reason to this day that i still have a hard time with trusting people.....although its gotten better i still have issues with trust,,,,,After i met and began dating my hubby guess who started to come around again.....that ol flame.....he started to wait for me outside of my work......drive past my house etc....i heard from friends that he was sorry for what he did and wished we could have another chance but seen that i had someone new so he wouldnt push it......and now i think he married the one he chated on me with.....i just make it a point whenever i talk to someone he knows that it gets backt to him that im happy and my life went on......

I have never cheated......even before i was married if i wanted to see someone else i told the one i was with that it was over.....Its one or the other you cant have both.......I think that since i was cheated on and members of my family had cheated on thier spoiuses thats enough for me,,,,,,i know the outcome and the feelings and i would never do that to the person i am with or hurt anyone in that way.........I always told my husband from day one if you think you have found better then go for it and be happy but I WILL NOT be lied to and kept in the dark while you have your cake and eat it to so to speak,,,,,,A good friend of mine cried to me for weeks cause her hubby and this married women were talking on the phone all day while he was working and long story short he told her he might leave.....well i gave her some friendly advice to tell him its her or the other women and not to sit back and let him do this to her......once he seen she wasnt playing along and stood up for herself he ended things and is still with her......she is still hurt that he would even think of leaving her.....but they are working things out.....so far so good

[Tyger]

When I was a teenager, I was seeing some other guy the whole time I was seriously dating another for 2 yrs. Though no sex happened with either one ( I was a virgin).

In my adult years, only 2 of the men I have seriously dated have NOT cheated on me! One being my current husband. The other a guy that worshipped the ground I walked on, but I fell out of love and respect for. Other than that, color me stupid!!

I am against cheating. But, at the same time, one never knows where life will take you either. Yes, you are responsible for your actions, and the reprocussions of thos actions, but sometimes there are circumstances that help a cheatin' heart along. KWIM?

But, no, I have not sexually, full blown cheated either.

[teedosgirl]

Well sad to say, I have cheated, been cheated on, and been the girl that someone cheated with. But first I dont want anyone to judge me there were a lot of underlying factors not that it makes it right but it happens.

As far as being cheated on.... Awhile back my husband had this huge infatuation with my best friend. My husband and i went out to the bar one night and the friend showed up. Well by this time i was quite trashed and off dancing while he and her were sitting at the table. Turns out they were rubbing each other under the table. Well i was clueless so after bar closing we ended up going back to her house. Apparantly they were waiting for me to pass out so that they could do their thing. Well luckily I'm not stupid enough to pass out because by then i had started to suspect something.

As far as being the one who was cheated with. Me and my husband were split up so I was free and going out. Well this other guy that I had known for years had split up from his wife and they were living in separate states. So we had our weekend and he ended up going back to his wife (no big deal). To this day 5 years later, she is still up my ass about it. I wish I had known then what I know now, I would have never have done that....

And as far as cheating, I regret that more than anything. When my husband and I were split up I got with this guy, in a relationship, and well I ended up pregnant. When I was about 6 months pregnant we got back together and he's ended up raising her as his own. Her dad was killed in Iraq. Its been hell for all of us. Nobody liked my daughter for a very long time. Well nobody in his family anyways. So cheating almost ruined my life. I definately learned my lesson and I will never do it again.