Cheating

[hrnychick]

I know Cheating is already a topic here but that was would you or would you.....I am aking those of you that have.....and im sure some of you have and admit it and most have and will never admit it but come clean and tell me and the rest of us Why? What were the reasons for leading you to cross that line in your realtionship? Was it worth it?? Was the grass greener on the otherside like you thought? Share you stroies dont be shy

[telecom69]

I know Cheating is already a topic here but that was would you or would you.....I am aking those of you that have.....and im sure some of you have and admit it and most have and will never admit it but come clean and tell me and the rest of us Why? What were the reasons for leading you to cross that line in your realtionship? Was it worth it?? Was the grass greener on the otherside like you thought? Share you stroies dont be shy

Ahh, cheating! A term not very dear to my heart. Here is my story. My ex wife of 23 yrs (she was 45) cheated on me with a 20 yr old boy (daughters husband). I call him a boy because he was very immature, worked only part time jobs, and was dumb as a rock. When things got rough in our marriage, instead of talking to me about her feelings and going to marriage counseling at MY suggestion with me, she wouldn't go or talk and decided to have an affair. That was about two years ago, and only after eight months she wanted back. Thank God I screwed her good in the divorce, as she is broke now and went thru the $32k lump sum settlement I gave her very fast (about nine months). She spent it on the 20 yr old like an idiot thinking it would keep him around. Of course things didn't work it between them. Cheating is not worth it though stats show that a lot of people do it. I consider myself a decent looking guy, and had my opportunities during my marriage to stray, but it just wasn't ever worth it to me personally. You HAVE TO TALK, and a lot of couples just won't do it and will go outside the marriage looking for either physical or emotional comfort, or both. Most of the time, the grass is not greener on the other side!! Ask my ex.

Telecom

[hrnychick]

Telecom,

Thank you for your reply to my topic.....a very honest answer as well. I agree with what you said and that if there is some trouble in the marriage or your spouse isnt having the same feelings towards you for some reason it should be talked about and maybe to the point of counseling.......a lot of realtionships have that lack of communication......Your story is proof that the grass ISNT always greener on the other side..........

[promiscuouseuphoria]

Well then. I know I'm opening myself up to a lot of criticism by doing this, but we've had one side of the argument - I suppose it's time for the other.

I was young when I wed (20), and it was a bit of a rushed marriage. My ex-husband and I had been engaged about a month when we discovered I was pregnant, and about 11 weeks along (I know, you're wondering how I didn't know sooner, but that's another story). So, we got married in December, since the baby was due in January. Four months after I gave birth, my husband lost his job. A month later, we were evicted and had to move back in with my mother (his parents offered no support). Time progressed, things got more miserable, and I began to slowly see that my ex was not the down-on-his-luck, decent fellow I had thought, but a manipulative sloth. He did finally find work again, but our relationship wasn't improving. He had no interest in sex. He had no interest in going out with me. We tried to talk about it, but all he ever did was say I had changed. Then, oh joy, I was pregnant again. Unplanned and unexpected. He was happy with me for about a month after we found out I was pregnant, then everything fell apart again.

Miserable and desperate, I turned to a friend. At first, my infidelity was not physical, which in it's way was much worse. As time passed, however, things progressed. I felt trapped, with no way out, and the comfort my friend offered was the only thing that made me feel worth anything at the time.

In the end, I found a way out. I've been divorced for three years now. He has disappeared completely from my life - no support, doesn't visit the kids, I don't even know if he's still in this state. He did find out about the affair, but not until after we were legally seperated, and the state I live in is "no fault" for lack of a better description. Would I ever do it again? No. Simply because I feel I would be wiser the second time through, and not find myself in that situation again.

Addendum: As for the grass being greener...while I don't like the phrase, perhaps it's accurate. After time on both parts to adjust and process the situation, my friend and I did end up becoming something more than confidants and bedpartners. He gave me time through the divorce, and I gave him time afterwards, and we ended up coming to the conclusion that we had found something in each other that we wouldn't find anywhere else. While neither of us enjoy the situation that brought it about, we do our best to remember the past, not let it haunt us, and take things one day at a time.

[amwjb]

dang euphoria were we living the same life?

I cheated with several men during my first husband. He was always either drunk or stoned and wouldn't work. Men would play on that fact and I was young and dumb enough to fall for anything. They said things that made me feel good about myself. I worked anywhere from 10-12 hours a day sometimes 7 days a week. I was always tired. Most of the time I would just start crying and they would comfort me which would lead to other things... before you know it I had a whole string of "comforters" as word got around. Was the grass greener... definatly not. I almost lost my son through the ordeal. Would I do it again? No! I'm older and wiser and stronger now. Not afraid to stand up for myself. But best of all I have a wonderful new husband who works hard and really treats me like I'm worth something... His time and energy.

[hrnychick]

thanks for the honest answers it really takes a lot to open up and tell your story.

[SeCrEt FrEaK7]

Ok, so this is my first post, so I am a "virgin", but to this only. LOL...I do have to add on this topic, since it this so close to home.

My now ex-husband and i were together for 5 years, married after 4 and i was 7 months pregnant when we did so with our second child. We were happy or so I thought. After I gave birth he started to act weird alot, going back to our hometown alot and not returning for days. I am in the Navy stationed in Norfolk and we are from PA. I always questioned him and he would blow me off.

He wouldn't worked, laid on my couch in my apartment that i paid for all day, and smoked weed and got messed up alot with a newborn in the house. I told him about 6 months after my son was born that he needed to clean up his act and things got worse from there. BY this time though we were barely having sex and i longed for it so badly. So i went to a new command to work out of and it hit me then as soon as men started to hit on me. I was pretty and could do better.

Well, about 10 months into the marriage, I went home on leave to take care of my dad, who just had surgery and come to walk in my ex's mom's house, he is doing his girlfriend right there on the couch. Yeah, I was more than a little mad. I picked her up by the hair and started to take care of this W#$%@. Come to find out in conversation with my ex's mother this had been going on for months and he threatened his family not to tell me.

Well needless to say about the ex, she ended up pregnant by him, had the baby, and now everytime he sees me, he tells me how miserable he is. The grass is greener? i dont' think so. He has gotten fat, grown a beard and is now so gross, but he has since apologized to me and asked me to take him back. yeah, let me think about that one....NO.

Since this, i still have not found a man who i truly want to be with, but i have lost 70 pounds and look and feel better about my self.

So your question? Is cheating worth it? I don't know ask the ex.

[hrnychick]

Ok, so this is my first post, so I am a "virgin", but to this only. LOL...I do have to add on this topic, since it this so close to home.

My now ex-husband and i were together for 5 years, married after 4 and i was 7 months pregnant when we did so with our second child. We were happy or so I thought. After I gave birth he started to act weird alot, going back to our hometown alot and not returning for days. I am in the Navy stationed in Norfolk and we are from PA. I always questioned him and he would blow me off.

He wouldn't worked, laid on my couch in my apartment that i paid for all day, and smoked weed and got messed up alot with a newborn in the house. I told him about 6 months after my son was born that he needed to clean up his act and things got worse from there. BY this time though we were barely having sex and i longed for it so badly. So i went to a new command to work out of and it hit me then as soon as men started to hit on me. I was pretty and could do better.

Well, about 10 months into the marriage, I went home on leave to take care of my dad, who just had surgery and come to walk in my ex's mom's house, he is doing his girlfriend right there on the couch. Yeah, I was more than a little mad. I picked her up by the hair and started to take care of this W#$%@. Come to find out in conversation with my ex's mother this had been going on for months and he threatened his family not to tell me.

Well needless to say about the ex, she ended up pregnant by him, had the baby, and now everytime he sees me, he tells me how miserable he is. The grass is greener? i dont' think so. He has gotten fat, grown a beard and is now so gross, but he has since apologized to me and asked me to take him back. yeah, let me think about that one....NO.

Since this, i still have not found a man who i truly want to be with, but i have lost 70 pounds and look and feel better about my self.

So your question? Is cheating worth it? I don't know ask the ex.

I have to start off by saying Thank You for sharing your story and/or thoughts on this topic.....it being your first post i hope you found it good to share your views on the topic and will continue to voice your opinion with other topics here on Too Timid.....the more people that post the better for all who look here for answers.

The common thing in most if not all of the posts on this topic is that the cheater always seems to want back what he or she had in the first place.....they dont know what they had til its gone.. Even though it maybe hard to say NO atleast you didnt give in and take him back. You do deserve a lot better and im sure you will find Mr, Right very soon.. Now you know what you want and what you deserve and will not settle for less...good for you.

Oh and by the way congrats on the weight loss.....that isnt an easy thing to do and stick to.......Enjoy the new you and enjoy the fact that your ex is eating his heart out now......YOU GO GIRL

[nosleepnmesa]

I have never cheated in person that is but then again I dont think that web cam sex is really cheating but I guess it could be.

Although before I found this site and got some advice I was seriously thinking about cheating since my husband was so boring and only taking care of him and not me. I have though before I found this site met someone online that had a web cam and I was extremely horney at the time. Although my toys could get me off extremely well it does get lonely always having to get yourself off alone.

I dont know how many of you classify web cam sex as cheating or not cheating