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I am now in a near-sexless marriage. Two, maybe three times in the last year? The last maybe six months ago? I don't think sex has to be the end-all, be-all, in a marriage. But when there is little else in common otherwise ... I don't think my wife is a bad person, overall, but I have come to see her as kind of self-absorbed, too much into her own world, her own circles of friends, and not much interested in my world. We don't fight too much, nothing ever changes afterwards so there is no point in fighting. Maybe something will change, but who knows. At the moment I give the marriage 50/50 odds of surviving. Talk? Other posts have noted the importance of talking ... I'm done talking ... nothing changes. "Do you take an active part in taking care of the house?" Mikayala asks. I pitched in plenty when the kids were little. Presently, I do all the yard work. I do the vast majority of snow shoveling. I do prolly 70% of the dishes. For the most part, a vacuum doesn't get pushed unless I'm pushing it, a toilet doesn't get scrubbed unless I'm scrubbing it. Etc. My wife does the grocery shopping and makes dinner, sometimes a bag lunch. Shit, I could hire a maid to do those things and have more social interaction. We've been married 25 years; lately I'm asking myself, "can you see yourself married to this person, as things are, for another 25 years?" Divorce comes with a lot of baggage of its own. Too much to go into here. I'll leave it at that.

What would you call the shade of blue of the nail polish? I don't think it was a serious question tho

MrsPraz, I'm not much of a praying person, but you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing. I hope you can find peace after all you've been through.

Haha, at 76 she's allowed to enjoy some wine. I found one of the free streaming channels with old 1950's Lone Ranger TV shows. I grew up on those (re-runs, I'm not THAT old). Great Stuff! I can't think of a single soul I know who would dig this show, lol, I'm such an oddball.

I have no firsthand experience with it, but supposedly hormonal BC can affect a woman's mood and personality. I'd be interested to hear if anyone here has dealt with that and how it has affected their preferred BC choice.

And if you have been together a long time, and one of you has been the main bread winner by far, and the only one to save anything toward retirement, now divorce comes along and you stand to lose half of everything you've saved, plus have to fork over a hefty alimony ... maybe it is different in other states, but that is what I'd be looking at. Now instead of retiring in 6 or 8 years, a person is looking at having to work another 15 years or more. Although I personally have no interest in an extra-marital romance, I can kinda see why someone might not be so quick to head for a divorce.

I'm not entirely sure, they don't make yardsticks long enough to measure it!

The answers may depend on what else is going on in the relationship. If sex has just become uncomfortable or painful or unpleasant for her for whatever reason, but you two otherwise have a good relationship, maybe dems is just the breaks. But if you are drifting apart or one is pulling away from the other, then that's a different ball of wax.

LOL, was waiting to see what others came back with. I don't have much. Occasionally the wife and I will go out for dinner or a movie or something, but mostly we don't have much in common any more and retreat to our own corners and devices. I did some of the drinking thing, but got to feeling like I was enjoying it a bit too much, so have backed off. I don't communicate much with my wife either, beyond small talk; it doesn't ever change anything, so there is no point to it. I tried Meetup, but covid puts a damper on that, and most events I might be interested in get filled up before I even see them.

Since this thread got bumped up, I went back and re-read my old post, about my wife fooling around with a girl a couple of years into our marriage, and which she didn't tell me about for another 8 or 10 years. At the time it didn't really bother me, and I was about the only one on this thread who didn't feel it was cheating. Turns out that was about the same time she almost walked out, a time when I naively and foolishly thought our marriage was in good shape. I guess it was a cheating after all. I'm a slow learner ...

Yes. I end up tuning a lot of it out. Ain't got the time to follow all the latest mudslinging.

Quiet and relaxing (I didn't have to cook 🙂 ), mostly laid low, a few in-laws came over last minute and helped eat all the food.

Sounds like you're putting up with a lot of shit and misery and deceit. I'm just an outsider peeking in, but I'd have to think if I were in your boat, I'd be happier moving on and never looking back.

Yeah, a long time ago, I was much younger, almost but didn't quite get there. Had to touch it, and as soon as I did it went off. How? Don't really remember; horny mood plus erotic thoughts.

Birth control pills don't work that well. I know of a lot of pregnancies while the woman was on them, and two of those pregnancies were my wife's.

Married once, still toiling at it. It is work. Tyger, I had forgotten you were from Maine. I remembered the horse, though. How about this question: What was your best vacation? I've had some good ones, but one that stands out was a camping and canoeing trip in Maine when I was a teenager, on the Allagash waterway. Peaceful, relaxing, pretty scenery, perfect weather, pretty far out in the middle of nowhere compared to where I'm from, the water seemed so clean we just drank it straight out of the lakes and the river, dark dark night sky with a vast sea of stars, one particular shooting star that flared long and bright and greenish across the sky and lit up the whole lake, much brighter than any other shooting star I've seen. I've been back to Maine a few other times for canoeing and white water rafting.

Was paying a credit card bill a couple of days ago and I thought, "I remember when Mastercard was called Mastercharge, and the commercials announcing the switchover."

No major projects. Still working, from home, very thankful to have that. Hoping to pitch some nickels into the hurting local businesses once things open up. Some house cleanup stuff and yard work and goofing off on youtube--found some pretty amazing guitar players who are fun to watch. Trying to get back into an exercise routine that I fell out of over the winter, but I think I may have had that stupid virus back when it wasn't even supposed to be in the area. Didn't think so at the time, it was mostly mild, but it lingered and went away and came back a couple of times, and even now three months later if I exercise or bicycle ride my airways get irritated, though less and less as time goes by. Getting back into my routine has been slow going. Not complaining, it is what it is and many others have fared a whole lot worse. The wife and I went for walk/hike in one of the parks last weekend. Her idea. She absolutely hates that stuff (well, since we got married anyway; she seemed to dig it well enough before that). Shrug, I don't understand her sometimes.

No worries, this site covers it all.

Only before sex. A couple of hours before seems to work. Less time on an empty stomach might work, but I'm usually stuffed with dinner when I take one.

If it's a heavy enough argument, I am not horny and lose interest, and even trying to fantasize about some hottie to whack off doesn't work that well.

Hey, I remember this topic. Never did answer for myself, though. I hafta go with No. Too many differences, and too many differences that are not complementary to each other.

We are required to wear masks in the stores, and I do so. Homemade (wife did the stitchin'). I do not wear one outside, away from people. I can't see a benefit to that, and I would really bristle if that were the law of the land.

Yes, got out of the house for a change Laid? It's so rare any more I should remember better when it does happens. Yes, I think I did ... Friday night, yeah, pretty sure. No ... Thursday. I dunno, within the last week some time ... Some still pix off the internet. Yes, yard work, house work, dog walks. The usual grind ...