hrnychick

tell me about it....lol you only have one I have three and when we go away our usual place to stay doesnt have ajoining rooms......we still have fun but have to keep quiet as not to wake up the children

Maybe someday she will be into knowing that you do it thinking of her when she isnt around......but until then I say if she asks then tell......but if she doesnt then no need to tell......You shouldnt stop doing it cause she doesnt like it......YOU are NOT doing anything wrong........Like I said maybe someday she will be into it.....since you said you were both virgins im sure you will be surprised at how much more your sex life will improve with time.......as we grow older of thoughts and views on things change. Keep posting, Hrnychick

Well I have to say for me it was being shy and insecure sexually......I wasnt raised in a overly strict or realigous home but sex was not talked about. I took it upon myself to go on the pill and stayed a virgin til I was 18. I had a few long term steady bfs but didnt want to give up the "goods" until I knew that it was right. I wanted it to be right for me so if that guy and I happen to not stay together I wouldnt feel bad about having sex with him. Anyway I just posted this similar thing under another topic. I feel alot of how a woman acts and feels sexually aside from herself is the one that she is with.....if he shows alot of affection makes the woman feel at ease....relaxed.....that really helps for trying new things. Im sure you can understand that for 22yrs your gf had only one way in life and she got use to that way.....now she is seeing that there is more to life and more ways to do things etc....and by you taking things on slower terms showing her a bit at a time is a good way to go about it.....I think if you gave her to much change at one time she would backoff .....but by doing it the way you are you yourself have said you are having a lot more fun and she is opening up to more then ever. I have known a few ladies that were married to men that kept them in a box so to say......sex was the way he wanted it and that way only....everything was the way he wanted it and that way only and they soon found out after divorce that life had much more to offer and was a lot more fun. Back to answering why some women are like that and some arent like I said for me it was just plain old being shy and affraid to try new things.....but that too was when I was younger.....I have since learned more and opened my mind to more.....finding that pleasure isnt just for his sake but for mine too......so many things have changed once I stopped being so shy and affraid.....now I havent had sex in a lot of places some here have had but hey who knows maybe someday I will be posting that I have. hrnychick

After reading this topic and the posts that followed I just had to add my 2 cents. First off Kirk dont think of everything as a done deal. I would like to confess that I too thought that sex all the time and sex in diff ways toys etc......was "freaky" and I am now proud to say that I made changes in my sex life and all for the better. I can say my changes came about by me just getting older and opening my mind to more.....wanting to learn more etc. now as for your wife you said she is 39 hey Im 36 and made these changes only within the past few years so there is hope for her. Just dont give up. I agree with others that making her want sex and you holding out til she does is NOT a good idea.....I see the point of maybe the day or two with no sexual advances but longer then that she WILL think you are getting your sex someplace else. Trust me on that. You say she isnt secure sexually so Im sure if you are horny 24/7 then all of the sudden stop she will think something is going on with you and someone else. That to is one reason why I wanted to change my ways about sex I never wanted my "lack of" to be a reason for my hubby to ever think of cheating. I think no matter how much you love someone if you arent getting any and someone "offers" it maybe a one-night thing and mean nothing but if youre horny enough you may just go for it. After reading your topic it seems to me that things could be a lot worse.....meaning a lot more work. Here are the good points I see that you have on your side....she does have sex.....boring for you but still sex.....she does give you bjs......maybe not enough but hey more then some men get im sure.....she has toys and uses them......thats a step in the right direction.....and she had boob job and works out.....so she cares about her looks and wants to stay sexy.....thats a good sign. Like I said I feel there is hope here.....how long it will take is unsure.....as the other posts said "baby steps" are whats needed. I agree shop online or in your local sex shop together.....romance her do all that the other posts suggested and most of all do not give up. Her lack of desire maybe from her daily stresses in life the kids, cooking, cleaning, etc.....maybe have a date night or you help out and let her have some free time....there are so many things to try im sure something will work. I think you should have her read the topics on here. She may think people here as freaky etc but then again she may find something here she can relate to.....maybe she should start a topic on her feelings and all and see what advice she gets.....I have to say you are a good guy for wanting to help your wife and loving her so.....most men would give up and use the wifes lack of desire as means to cheat. Keep us posted on how things go please. Hrnychick

I too was like you as in thinking anal sex would hurt way way to much.....I can take some pain but just the thought of anal sex made me think way to much pain not worth it. Boy was I ever WRONG and Im not ashamed to admit it. My hubby wanted to try anal sex for some time it even lead to arguements but one night I just thought oh what the hell if it hurts way to much he said he would stop and that would be it never again.....so I thought its going to hurt he will stop and never bug me again end of story......but like I said I was wrong.....yes we did use A LOT of lube and you have to try to relax.....I know I know easier said then done but you will find out if you try it that after the first time if you try it again you know what its all about and relaxing will be a bit easier and it does help lets just say make things go better. Its a feeling that I just cant put into words.....I got and still do get goosebumps when hubby and I have anal sex.....Its not something we do everytime we have sex but at least once a week. The "pain" I thought would be so bad wasnt bad at all.....I thinks its like anything else its the fear of the unknown and that makes your mind make it out to be far worse.....at least for me thats how it went.....I had it built up in my mind that it just wasnt going work and the pain would be awful but it was NOT bad....not bad at all......after he finished I asked him to do it again.......what a feeling man oh man......and he loves the fact that im into it now it has added a new level to our sex life and really spiced things up......I say get some lube and just GO FOR IT!!!!!!! you may end up going back for more like I did my first time. Keep us posted!!!!!! Hrnychick

Mikayla. Forgive me if this is a silly question but is the contest one entry per person? I am asking because I have two story ideas I am working on one fiction and one not and trying to pick one to enter isnt easy lol......so I thought I would ask......so far I have read some really good ones on here......hope mine is up to par with the others. Thanks Hrnychick

Check out to see if there is any local fun going on like in my city we have carnivals and what is called picnics here.....they have bands games food and drinks.....if you arent into that idea or nothing like in your area how about some mini golf? Always a fun time no matter what age and good way to see if he likes to have fun....and also a good way to see if you to really hit it off or not..... Whatever you find to do keep us posted.....and let us know how things go.....good luck and have fun. Hrnychick

Congrats on the new house.....all that cleaning doe not sound fun at all.....but just remember aside from that and your everyday stuff (work kids etc) find time for you and hubby.....and have fun getting it on in everyroom in every way.......have a safe and fun trip to Maine......post when you get back......im sure you will have a lot of catching up on here to do. congrats again and have fun. Hrnychick

I know just what you are talking about....girlfriend i have been there too. I have seen the numbers on my scale go up and down and sometimes up and up and up.......It does get you down i know i have been there my self esteem hit a all time low at one point with my weight....and I just took control and focused and just took one pound at a time. YOU CAN TOO. You have to find that inner sexy goddess as the other post stated and also start doing things for you......start doing things that make you happy and make you feel sexy.....and there are other ways to spice up your sex life.....do some research on here there are many many topics on things to do.....it doesnt matter if your 100 lbs or 200lbs all that matters is if your happy healthy and feeling sexy......once you start working on you and being happy with yourself you will find that all other parts of your life fall into place. Keep us posted on how things go for you.....you have a lot to offer so dont let a few extra pounds get you down. Hrnychick

i love to be held down.....pinned.....on bed or against wall and teased then taken.....so im sure being tied up or cuffed would be just as good or better.....going to give it a try and will post back,,,,,and im sure as heck that you arent the only one Mikayla just the only women open enough to talk about it........and thats not a bad thing by any means.....

Mikayla im sure by now you came up with something so im curious to know what it was......just what was the answer to hiding the toys from your son thus far.......did you go for the other hope chest or have something made?

Yes and thanks.......I do agree that there is prob a lot more out there we can learn and i too strive to try and learn as much as i can.....Im like you in that way that i dont want to get in a "rut" with sex.....and I strive to improve so that my man can't say he ever found "better".......As for your ex cheating well i remember what you told me on that subject and its true that you can be the best they ever had but some men just have those insecure feelings etc.....and they just have to try to get as many girls as they can......i know ppl that had bad marriages/relationships and cheated and reasons were obvious but others seemd happy and to have it all and still cheated and again it was cause one didnt feel good about themselves etc.....but again thats another topic....lol I admire you and hubby for using and reviewing the sex toys......toys have just become part of my sex life but someday i hope to be "open" enough if you will to hook up with tootimid and buy and review.......personal question...... is it like other things i read about here like reviewing the dvds.....where if you buy and review and they like it they will send you other stuff free of charge just so you try it and review about it??.........The fact that you offered up a (ffm) 3sum is really open i must say......and have to add since you know the outcome of 3sums you were taking a big chance not to be taken the wrong way but you have to be a strong women to really do that in a marriage.....and by your hubby saying NO just goes to show you he is a great catch.....and loves you a lot.....most men im sure would've jumped thru hoops at the chance of the wife offering that..... ffm which is every guys dream........what guy would ever offer bringing in another male for the wife to screw????? none that i know of unless they are into watching...... Pretty kinky i must say to show another cpl the art of a good bj.....way to go ......and glad marriage was saved........and I would like to add one more thing before i end......I agree you cant control love or attraction......and I always thought i would NEVER be cheated on but i was so now i just never say never........who really knows what will happen.....not that i drive myself crazy thinking about it but just that i do my best and if thats not good enough then so be it...... Again thanks for the reply Hrnychick

First of all i would like to say that comment about BigDaddy being wierd and thats why topic was posted is unfair.....this is a adult sex forum and just about every topic on sex has been here in one way or the other at some point......now we could argue that nothing is left to talk about but in someway there is always a diff point of view on old issues. I think BigDaddy just wanted to start a topic and maybe thought about paying for sex at somepoint and who really knows why some start the topics they do? Some look for answers some just plain ol want to see what others think or have to say on things. BigDaddy is a friend of mine so I have to stick up for him he is a nice guy aside from what he may post on here from time to time LOL Now as for paying for sex.....well there is a section of hookers in my city.....and they are all but ugly from a womens point of view....but they do get the "johns" cause its just that one night and hopefully no one knows or finds out what you did.....its no strings....you get what you want .....but you do pay the price....sometimes more then in cash.....as in a STD. I would never pay for sex......like another posted there are many willing ppl out there not to pay but again we all do pay some price......

Thanks for getting back to me on that i was curious.....im sure you and him can go on and on in an arguement as both being lawyers.......a smile is key but yes there is more then a smile to make a women sexy he may just be a smile kind of guy while others may look elsewhere.....lol lets just say not so much at the smile.

OK here are my questions on this topic first has anyone here ever seen the move (on HBO or MAX) called Zebra Lounge? Well its not informative as to how or where but it does show somewhat of how "swinging" can do things to your relationship and how if you hook up with the wrong cpl it could be trouble. Im sure like most movies its details are stretched but otherwise good movie to see. Next question is this lifestyle addicting? Im thinking it is like porn can be.....dont you in a way lose touch so to speak with your partner and need the others to fulfill your sex life??? I guess better yet i should ask can you still cum with just your partner on a reg night in bed having sex or is the swinging so much apart of life that you cant go without.....no matter how long or hard you try? Next, you say trust is an issue....i agree on trust but isnt swinging just giving your SO a free pass to cheat? Have cake and eat it too? Also would like to say that i agree that we are tempted in everyday isues as stated before.....but again in everyday issue we must have control....and again swinging is that free pass to not. Last question is for Mikayla.....first off how can someone else give a better bj? or is that a persons SO may only think its better? there is only so much a person can do with that cock and im sure you as well as i and others here who love and enjoy doing it have done it the best that can be done. I would like to know one other thing, you say youre a open person and have done in marriage what most may not.....please explain.....only because that has me curious and has me thinking just how much of a open person i may or may not be......in otherwords what is considered an open person.....in a marriage that is? Hope you dont mind me asking. Hrnychick

I agree with confidence it is key....and i always say if you dont have it fake it til you make it.....but what is the deal about the smile? I agree a nice smile is also good but did i miss something??? Fill me in Mikayla....why the "oh God are we going to start this again?? just curious

Well on a man i like a nice fitting pair of jeans.....that shows off a nice ass well. Baseball hats.....tattoos ( a few nice ones).....piercings (nothing over the top though) as far as phsyical features nice big arms nice eyes and nice smile and like tall guys.... On women such as myself.....nice matching bra and panties ( thong, g string, or boyshorts) nothing like knowing that i have on something hot underneath......i like heels but being 5ft9 I dont wear them often.....figure im tall enough......i like form fitting shirts.....low cut or not i say if you got em show em hard to hide this chicks DDS.....tattoos are good.....dont have one but getting one soon.....belly piercings are nice but im to chicken to get one myself......most of all the sexiest thing is well kept gal.....hair and nails alway done....pedicures especially in the summer its a must.....nice fitting clothes....to many gals wear wrong size doesnt look good.....and just the right amount of makeup....really nice done up eyes.

I have to say I am glad this topic was started. I can have multi Os while masterbating on somedays.......the days im just so so horny. But even on those days after hubby makes me cum first time I just cant seem to do it again.....i dont understand that if I play I can but if he does me I just cant seem to no matter how much we try.....It seems like when he does me that first one is so intense that no more are to follow any time soon. I would also like to say that yes I know of the sensitivity but I never felt this "pain" others here spoke of.....and worked through......is this just a "me" thing that what you feel as pain i do not? Also I would like to ask those multi O gals has there ever been a time when you wanted to do it again and your SO kept working at it but you just stopped cause nothing was happening?

False The person below me has sex everyday........

Well you wanted a womens point of view and among the others here is mine......YES you are big enough so dont worry about that at all.....now as for buying some toys......I suggest that you and her check out the toys for sale on this site.....and also the reviews.....adding toys should be fun and it shouldnt scare her.....but i know what she feels like i didnt know squat when i was looking to add some toys......so just have her or you or both check out whats for sale here and if you find something of interest check out and see if there is a review on it and go from there......since there are a lot of toys out there you have to have some idea what you are looking for......and in order not to scare her or turn her off from toys all together i say start of small or basic and work your way up.....have fun and keep posing!!!!! Hrnychick

false The person below me like to tease with what they got.......

This has not happened to me but I have heard of it before. I have heard that using toys a lot can lead this to happen, now if this is true or not I cant say. I would suggest putting the toys away for a bit and just let your fingers do the playing.....as well as hubby and see if in time you start to get back to where you were before. Before going to a Dr, I would also suggest that you wait and see what Mikayla has to say about this problem because if anyone here knows about using toys and if they could cause such a problem im sure it would be her. Sorry I couldnt be more help to you but I just wanted to post back incase you were checking for a reply to let you know that im sure you will find your answer here as soon as Mikayla and any others read your topic. Keep checking back. Good luck Hrnychick

True The person below me likes to have nips played with

There was a time way back when that I wasnt into it as much as I am now. Thank God for change lol.......Back when I was younger I would masterbate but never let my hubby know that I did so.....thinking he would think he was lacking and I need more or that I did better then him. But as the years passed we have found it to add to our sex life.....he loves watching me and more often then not joins in for the finish. I also love to watch him although we dont do it that way very often cause it is hard to just sit back and watch when it turns me on soooooo much. Hrnychick