DaniLovell

I guess i would have to say that i was way too young and it was not a pleasant experience. In fact, it was terrifying and involuntary on my part. Yes, I'm talking rape. And I was about 10 or 11. It took me years to finally relax and enjoy sex. And then even longer to be able to achieve an orgasm, either by myself or with someone.

I have never done it out loud, but, like Mikayla, I've thought it. I also stick mostly to the occasional expletive and baby, honey, sweets, etc. At the very beginning of one relationship, (oh heaven forgive me) i actually wished my lover was my ex. not good, but the sex life of my previous relationship was phenomenal and i was just getting into the new relationship. This wishing passed and we went strong, with no wishful thoughts on my part, for a long time.

I've only had a chance to look thru a few of the features but so far I am very happy. I did have a coupel of questions, not related to the new features, necessarily. What is with these random advertisements being posted by newbies? Like for drug websites and stuff. I thought this was a discussion forum...ya know? I love the info and interaction this sites presents, and that sort of info isn't needed, in my opinion. Thanks and have a great day guys!

I guess i don't really have much by the way of advice, just a tidbit of my own situation. I loved my husband to distraction for 10 years. And in that ten years, I was never the only woman in his life. Oh, I was the only one he had sex with, but he refused to communicate with me. Instead, he had girls and women that he knew from college and high school and chatrooms that he would email and talk with. They heard about his dreams and goals and got his dry wit and intelligent banter. I did not. I found evidence repeatedly and died a little more every time. We "started over" but didn't in reality. It was the same patterns, the same crap. He refused to attend counseling and I finally got numb all over. I still had sex with him, but never orgasmed. He would get his part over with, and i would finish my climax when he fell asleep. Terrible, terrible situation. And then, just when i thought i would turn over and try to regain the feeling again....i found the last straw. When we were dating, he would write to me little poems and prose. It may sound corny, but he was so gifted with the written word. I love them. The last straw came when I found an email of a beautiful poem, just heartwrenching. It was not sent to me. It was sent to another woman. The last spark died right there. Completely. So I understand your position, but i can at the same time feel for your wife. Communication is like water to a flower. With it, you will have a beautiful garden. Without it, the flower dies. And sometimes, even the most expert gardener can't bring a flower back.

Ok, i feel a bit funny about posting this one. Lol. I never thought this could be an issue, but not sure now. My lover, whom i must say is the best i've ever been with, has complained that when i orgasm, i clamp down on his penis to the point that somtimes it hurts. He laughes when he says it, but i feel bad because i don't want to hurt him. This information may be a bit generic, so i guess i should give some background. His dick is slightly smaller than average, both in girth and length. Not a problem for me because the man definitely knows how to use his hands, mouth, and toys!!! WOW!!! So i am all worked up when penetration finally begins and i can feel him inside me. I'm not sure exactly what i'm doing, if I'm doing something wrong or not. Or if it is even me at all. I do my kegels exercises at various intervals all day long and am not sure if maybe i'm overdoing it or what? Any suggestions, ladies and gents?

first off, i feel your pain. my man and i are in the same boat. however, thanks to some of the suggestions at this forum, he's no longer intimidated by my vibe, and we've had sex at least 1x, if not 2x a day for the past week. YAHHOOO! second off...whats wrong w/being a freak? they have the most fun. it's all about pleasing the partner. now the only problem is once he comes....he is done for at least 4 hours. i think its a mental thing, but whatever. baby steps. good luck. with all the experience and expertise around here, you should be able to get the ball rolling.

thanks everybody!! i'm glad i'm not the only one kinda turned on by this. if i work it right, i'll make it a surprise for him. that should rock his world. i'll keep you posted ladies and gents. dD.

well, hmmm. i would have to agree with the rest. it would be classified as cheating. any sexual relations outside of marraige qualify as the same. at the same time, what does your hubby think? you are intrigued but how does he feel about it? would he be able to watch, either in person or a vid of the experience? you have said yourself that a 3some is not an option for you since you've been married. i wish the best.

sweet!! i didn't even know. and really inexpensive. thanks bondagejunkie. this may be a better place to start. i looked at the link howard provided but i don't know if i want to start w/a pole. i think i may try this option first, gain some confidence and then upgrade, so to speak. i can't wait!!

whiskey, i was looking thru this topic and hoping things were working out for you. life is about peaks and valleys, but i hope you are coming out of your valley. i have friends and have had friends in similar situations, so my prayers are with you.

that would be great, whiskey. a tension pole? thanx a lot.

oh, i definitely want to make use of the pole. actually, i would love to get him hot an bothered w/o taking anything off. the wheels are turning now. oh, you guys are great.

Thanks Mikayla and Katprr. i don't live in Chicago, i live in IA. but i never thought about classes. hmmm. maybe i should check w/some dance places. i wonder if i could do it and make it a surprise. blow his mind a bit, ya know. are there videos, maybe? in case there isn't a class locally.

I am glad for you that you broke the relationship off. I have been in a similar situation before, and have helped friends in the same. One thing that helped me was an analogy my Gran gave me. She didn't know all the details, just that there was trouble in paradise. So she told me about a frog. Bear with me here. " If you take a frog and try to toss him in a pot of boiling water, he will jump right out. Makes sense, nobody want to get boiled alive. Now, on the other hand, if you put a frog in a pot of tap water on a stove, he will just keep swimmin to his hearts content. Raise the heat a little and he will still stay there, up to the point of boiling. " She didn't go any further, but she didn't have to. I got the point. I guess you could say my pot was boiling but i didn't even realise it b/c i was swimming in it. That woman was full of wisdom, man i miss her.

thanks for the tips, ladies and gents!! i can't wait to try. i know one thing my hb likes is when i start at about his knees, gently caressing and tonguing and nibbling till i get to his package. then, i pause just above him, but not touching and let my breath warm his shaft an nuts. he loves the teasing, and will try to raise his hips to make contact. still trying to master the swallowing thing, though. but as was said; practice, practice, practice.

i am seriously intrigued by pole dancing and exotic dancing. i would love to learn how, though i am unable to put up a pole in my current home. aside from actually doing it in a club (no interest there) where would one learn to do it? my man is visual and i know it would drive him crazy if i could do it.

honey, it wasn't almost. regardless of where, if there is penetration, it is rape. having been thru that a couple of times, believe me, i know. he refuses to take responsibility for the action. that says a lot about A:his character and B: his view of women. that he did it while drunk only indicates that he keeps it under the surface most of the time. men who rape feel they have a "right" to whatever they want, as far as a woman is concerned. if they are your SO, ex bf, close friend, family member, or random psycho; it doesn't matter. he needs help, though i doubt seriously that he sees it. on top of that, your self image and esteem has take a serious blow by this. it always does in a rape or assault situation. you said no and he did it anyway. no respect. as the others have said, when does it stop with you and start on your daughter? what if "for the sake of your child" you stay and when she is 10 or 12 or whatever and he decides he has a right to her? will you honestly be able to look in her face and tell her he did the same to you and why you didn't leave? or how about the phone call you get when she's 18 or 20 and she's crying her SO has done the same? please,....just leave. it truly is not worth it. get yourself into a home for battered women or something. and counseling. a lot of counseling. and a restraining order. you can only control what you do, he has to take care of himself. luck to you.

OMG! Thank you, thank you!! i think his mind has begun to change. i actually tried a little different strategy, though. i used a flavored lube to start him on a handjob/BJ. that went over VERY well. and it tasted really good. (sextarts strawberry punch, yummy ) then i climbed on and introduced him to my "friend" and proceeded to show him how we would use it for both of us. he seemed to be all eyes and ears. in any case, he then had his hands free to play with my nipples and wow! howard, i have never felt that turned on in my life. it was a HUGE success and i think he is much more open to "playing with toys. this forum is awesome. i never in a million years would have been able to ask anybody else about these things. thank you from the bottom of my heart!! on a side note, i told him he could expect a lot more oral attention from me. he kinda laughed when i told him i couldn't wait to try out some different flavors of oral gels and creams. i am really excited. he jokingly asked if i was trying to give him a heart attack. i just smiled and asked if he thought he could handle it. so begins a new chapter.

i know this forum is a little old, but what the hey. plenty of places. on a picnic table in a park next to a hi traffic street (even @ 11pm). in a county park after closing, (DNR officers were about 4 ft away, hee hee) ; on the trunk of a cutlass supreme in front of his friend's house; in a swimming area, in broad daylight, with a lot of people swimming around you; at a party, sitting on his lap while people are talking to you. now, that one was challenging, but it was the hottest i've ever been. just thinking about it gets me worked up. oh, and on the front deck of my now- husband's frat in college. goodness, he blew my mind that night. and just as we finished, one of his "brothers" came out for a cig. i don't know if he knew, but we still laugh about it. i love a handjob when i'm driving, but my hb can't handle it, or a bj. he...well....as he put it, he can"not operate heavy machinery" when i do that thing w/my tongue.

for myself and my husband, i am the adventurous one. i'm really game for just about anything, but he seems to be more reserved. to be honest, i played that part for a while, but that just won't work. i did receive the religious teaching about sex, etc; but its a little hard to believe when your 13 and find your mom's dildo (monstrous, like 13 inches, scared the sh* out of me) when you're folding laundry.

the worst? being unsure of what to do, but refusing to ask. my boobs are not bread dough, quit treating them as such. also, being cocky and disrespectful. actually, i kinda find the those funny. and i delight in knocking you off your high horse. oh, and if i just met you....DON'T touch me.

the insides of my thighs, down my spin,the backs of my arms (weird, i know) very gentle nibble on my clit. i love my nipples being bitten, not really hard, but ya know. actually, in the right mood, my entire body will just about light up when touched.

hello. i've been reading the toy reviews and i love Mikayla's insight and descriptions. they all sound very...um.....exciting. i was a little confused on which one to start with. i have one g-spot vibe, it's very simple and it get the job done, though i usually have to use it as a clit stimulator. i like insertion, have never had a g-spot O, i LOVE clit stimulation, a little curious about anal. maybe a beginners checklist? that sounds silly. but there it is.

wow! talk about tactless. sounds like one of my ex's. as you said, they aren't dead, but those type of comments are better left in the locker room, if even there.

thanks for the thoughts, howard. i appreciate the input; i probably wouldn't have thought of that myself. a little gentle persuasion. kinda set the mind goin in new and interesting paths. hmmm. it does present a bit of a challenge, though. we work opposite shifts. but, i am a girl excited by a challenge. i'll keep you posted.