paolo

I know what you mean. Or I knew, I should say. I just never saw spanking as even remotely sexy. I had an old lover, before I married, who was really into being spanked. Hard spanking, that would bring tears to her eyes. I tried doing it for her sake, since it turned her on so much, but it never seemed to work. Her deep need to be spanked and degraded. She wanted me to call her a slut, a whore, etc, while I spanked her and fucked her. Not my thing at all! So it was a surprise for me when my wife and I discovered we loved spanking. We were having a long afternoon in bed, we'd fucked a couple of times and there had been lots of orgasms. She went to the bathroom and when she came back to bed she sort of fell across my lap with her bottom perfectly positioned for a slap. We've always enjoyed giving each other playful love-taps on the butt, so it was natural enough for me to give her one of those love-taps on one cheek. The angle was wrong (or, rather, right!) and I spanked her harder than I meant to. Elise gasped, and I almost started to apologize, but I could sense that she had liked it... and so had I, to my surprise. Electricity in the air, you know? So I stroked and smoothed the place where I'd slapped her for ten or fifteen seconds, and I felt her body just kind of melt down into the bed, and her hips tilted up just the tiniest bit, so I spanked her again, on the other cheek, this time intentionally harder. She gasped again, but didn't protest. More stroking and rubbing. So I just kept going. Slap and stroke, slap and stroke. Maybe two or three slaps in a minute. Gradually, I increased the force of the slaps until I was spanking her really quite hard, changing the location of each slap so that her entire buttocks and upper thighs were glowing red. I don't know how long it lasted... twenty or thirty minutes, at least. Her face was turned away from me, and neither of us spoke a word the entire time. It was almost surreal, as we are normally very verbal in bed. But this time it felt like if we spoke, we'd break the magic spell, and it really was magical. She was breathing very hard and I could feel her body almost vibrating where she lay across my thighs. My cock was hard as a rock up under her belly, and I was panting a little myself. We were both so turned on you wouldn't think we had spent most of the afternoon having sex. I reached over to the bedside table and got the massage oil. I applied it to her bottom and slowly rubbed the oil all over, smoothing it down her thighs to her stocking-tops, then spreading oil onto her soft and unspanked inner thighs, then slowly up until my fingers lightly stroked her pussylips. I worked well-oiled fingers between her cheeks, down to her pussy, probing into her vagina, her anus, slowly and deeply. She pushed her bottom up for me and moaned, "Please..." At which point we couldn't hold it back any longer. She got up on her knees and I entered her from behind. We both came very intensely, very quickly. We don't do spankings very often. It's just not part of our regular repertoire. But every so often we'll start thinking and talking about it, and within a few days or a couple of weeks at most, her bare bottom will be over my lap and I'll give her the "good girl" spanking she so richly deserves and enjoys.

I rarely check in on this site any more but my wife, elise, does keep up with the posts and discussions. She suggested I read this one and comment. I have had erectile dysfunction since my early 40's. I used to ride mountain bikes very hard and had a couple of nasty straddle injuries, and my urologist said the damage to my erectile tissue from the cumulative pounding over the years was likely the cause of my ED at such a young age. Whatever, I tried several of the erection pills out there and found the only one I could tolerate due to side-effects (really bad headaches!) was/is Cialis. I more often use an injection therapy my urologist prescribed, which has no side-effects and really works well. I am still able to have a 'natural' erection sometimes, but mostly I use ED medications. In any event, I agree with what Sunday posted, for the most part. I find my erections come up quicker, and I get very hard right away and I stay hard for the duration of our lovemaking. My wife is very (VERY) penetration-oriented, and she tells me she really enjoys this. 'Natural' erections, for me at least, take longer to achieve, and I usually only achieve about 80% of maximum erection until I am within a few strokes of orgasm. My wife gets her maximum pleasure in intercourse when my erection is at maximum hardness, so with a natural erection she only gets a minute or two of that before I cum. With Cialis or injection meds, she gets to have me as big and hard as she wants for as long as we both can stand it. Which means more vaginal/anal intercourse orgasms for her, and usually much more intense orgasms for me. Also, we both really enjoy anal intercourse, and I have to be rock-hard to penetrate her anus. So using erection meds has enhanced our ability to enjoy that important part of our sex life. Are my orgasms more intense with erection meds? That's hard to say, but I think it has less to do with the meds and more to do with how long I'm able to stay hard. A longer-lasting erection means more time to thrust inside my lover, and more time and more thrusts means more pleasure for us both. My orgasms with a 'natural' erection tend to come much more quickly, because I know I'll lose my erection if I don't cum within a few minutes of penetrating her. But when I have a meds-enhanced erection, we usually enjoy 10-15 minutes of hard thrusting before I cum, and that prolonged pleasure means I'm at peak arousal when I do cum. So yes, my orgasms with erection meds are wonderfully intense and prolonged. The other aspect of this is that when I use erection meds, I almost always am eager to perform two or three times, whereas once I cum with a 'natural' erection I'm done for the day. When I was in my 20's, I was always a twice-a-night guy, and both my wife and I missed that kind of prolonged lovemaking through my 30's and early 40's. Now that I use erection meds, we are able to enjoy intercourse twice, three times, even four times in a single afternoon or evening. So let's see: which would most men prefer? Two or 3 minutes of thrusting with a single orgasm the 'natural' way; or two or three acts of intercourse, each lasting fifteen to thirty minutes, and each culminating in a prolonged blockbuster orgasm that leaves your wife's thighs wet with your cum for two days? Hmmm. I pick door number two.

There could be a lot of things going on here. I was never able to cum in a woman's mouth before my wife got me off, and even then it took a lot of practice. Part of it is, like Mikayla said, a lot of men need a lot more stimulation than women realize to reach orgasm. I need to have my whole penis stimulated, not just the tip, and I don't get anything from gentle stimulation. When she uses her hand(s) on my shaft while working the glans and upper shaft with her mouth, she can get me off most of the time. Especially if I'm standing or sitting in a chair and she's kneeling in front of me- dunno why that seems to work, but it does. I can almost never cum if I'm lying back and she's hovering over me, unless she's massaging my prostate. Aside from the woman's technique, I know that a lot of guys are like me and simply prefer to cum inside their partner. I have my best orgasms with intercourse (vaginal or anal). The experience is simply much more emotionally and physically satisfying. Your guy sounds like he's a member of that group. One thing you might try, which we use when she reallyreally wants me to come in her mouth and I can't get there before her mouth gets too tired: after you've blown him, proceed with fucking, but before he cums have him pull out and resume your blowjob. When we do this I pull out when I'm literally right on the edge of cumming and it's all I can do to hold it back. She gets her protein milkshake in a hurry then.

Great question. My wife brought her laptop to me and told me to write a reply NOW, lol! I love it when she comes up behind me as I'm seated and puts her hands on my chest and presses her breasts into my shoulders and neck. If she adds some husky whispering in my ear about what manner of naughty thoughts she's been having, I won't stay in the chair very long. I also love being kissed on my throat- soft, hot & wet kisses presses all the right buttons. Then there's the thing where she cups my butt-cheek for a second or two, which she'll do absolutely anywhere. It's not that the physical sensation is all the pleasurable, but the emotional sensation is hot. It's like she's saying "this is mine - and nobody else's". Definitely lets me know she's going to be looking for some action later.

shygal... I agree with what others have said. I don't log on to this message board often.. my wife, elise, does more often, and she thought I should put in my two cents. I'm a physician and for many years worked a lot with men with sexual dysfunctions. Erectile dysfunction can have many forms. Some men, like your new boyfriend, can achieve an erection with the right stimulation, but can't maintain it for very long. These men "learn" to ejaculate as quickly as they can after getting hard, otherwise they don't get to orgasm at all. In the days before Viagra, we used to give people like this a bunch of exercises to do with their partners, and sometimes it worked and these men were able to extend their erectile capabilities long enough for their partners to have a satisfying experience with intercourse. These success stories were, in my opinion, in men whose primary problem was performance anxiety, but with a significant level of physical/vascular issues as well. The men who didn't succeed with our training exercises were/are primarily men with vascular problems. In either case, the answer you may want to look into is adding Viagra, Levitra, or Cialis to the equation. In a man whose primary problem is psychological (performance anxiety), the medication will serve to overcome his anxiety, he'll have a full (and often repeatable) erection, and after he's unlearned the need to come quickly, his stamina will improve. In my experience, many men who were "underperforming" due to psychological factors only need to use medication for a short period of time, because by losing their performance anxiety and learning how to extend their sexual response cycle, they lose the need for meds. It can be an amazing thing. If his primary problem is vascular, even better. He'll finally be able to achieve a full (and often repeatable) erection, be able to engage in all manner of sexual acts including oral, vaginal, or even anal sex and as success builds on success, he'll become confident in the return of his ability to be fully sexually expressive again. I would encourage you and he to discuss trying one of these medications. I believe Cialis is probably the best product of the three, but each man is different and he should try them all. His doctor can give him samples that will make the choice much easier.

My wife (elise) prodded me (ahem) into posting an answer here. I think she knows better what goes on than I do, but she says it's my job to tell. Yes, I enjoy anal stimulation. Most of our anal play is in her ass, but sometimes I get some receptive fun too. How do I put this? Elise loves oral sex. When she's giving it to me, more often than not she'll put her finger or one of her smaller vibrators in my ass. It feels very, very good, and almost always makes me come extremely quickly and extremely violently. She posted her technique on another thread a month ago or so. Unlike some of the other men who've posted, I don't enjoy really large toys in my ass, although we've tried them. We stumbled across this forum a while ago while shopping for toys. We have enjoyed reading (and occasionally posting) about things we are curious about, or that we enjoy. We appreciate being able to be here.

Elise here... mrs paolo... he's out of town... LOL! I don't know what's with men thinking they must be gay if they give it to us in the ass... what, did we turn into a man while he wasn't looking? You need to reassure your man that you love him doing you this way, that it fulfills you as a woman. Communicate positively to him. Let him know that your anal orgasms are incredible (ditto!!!), and that you really enjoy his orgasms in your ass. Reassure him that you feel 100% woman when you have anal sex with him, and that you think of him as 100% man.

Elise here... mrs paolo... Sweetie, you are one brave girl to have done it this much without lube... and enjoyed it despite the pain! And you came in your ass on your second try? Wow! It took me 2 years of regular anal intercourse before I had my first anal orgasm! Positions was your question. Everybody's different, but my absolute favorite is on my back with my feet on his shoulders. It tilts my hips up so the angle is just right, & we can use vibrators & other toys. This position is great for extended sessions. My second favorite is face down with a hard pillow under my hips, and paolo takes me from behind. This position is HOT. Very deep and hard, which I love, but it's difficult to use a vibrator. My third favorite is standing beside the bed, bent over (I have to wear stilettos because my husband is a lot taller than me) and he takes me from behind. This position is not so intense as #2, and we can use a vibe on my clit easily. I don't like being on top for anal. I like feeling like I'm completely under paolo's control when his cock is in my ass. Oh, and if you're into bondage, anal while bound & gagged is HOT!

Elise here... Mrs. paolo... I used paolo's login.. hope thats ok? My husband paolo & I love anal & specially DP. There are as many ways of doing DP as you have toys & fingers & cock.. although we don't swing so I've never had 2 cocks inside me. Though I imagine it would be awesome to have two men thrusting into you at the same time! My favorite DP is lying on my back with my feet on paolo's shoulders. I use a small vibe on my clit and paolo inserts a vibe in my ass. We have a vibe that's thinner in the middle and really wide at the base, which is my favorite anal vibe.. you can leave it alone and it stays put, or if he pushes it in really deep the wide base really stretches me... yummy! Then he puts his cock in my pussy, just a little at first, then deeper as I build to orgasm. I try to hold back as long as I can, until his cock is really deep, cause when start cumming it's non-stop multiples. Each cum is different.. sometimes more in my clit, sometimes I really feel it in my vagina, sometimes in my ass. When I can't take any more paolo pulls the vibe out of my ass and slides his cock up there so he can cum in my ass, which feels great for me after all my orgasms, and I almost always cum again when he goes off. This is a great DP for extended loving.. we've done it for over an hour sumtimes, I'll tell him when I need to rest and we'll just turn off the vibes and move gently for a while, then turn the vibes back on after I've caught my breath. Over & over again. Another good DP is when I'm face-down with a hard pillow under my hips (we bought one of those new Liberator cushions for this... wow!) and a really thick butt plug in my ass and my husband fucks me from behind.. his thrusting moves the plug in my ass in rhythm with his cock in my pussy. In the same position, sometimes we use a big silicone dildo in my pussy and his cock in my ass.. I feel stretched & filled to the absolute limit this way.. I don't have as many cums this way as with the buttplug, but I cum so hard when his big cock is really deep in my ass it's worth it!

I'm not jlg from texas, I'm Elise. But I can offer my experience, if it helps? My husband is paolo and he comes in here sometimes. He said I should anwer this question from a woman's viewpoint. He and I have very, very intense anal sex, but it took a long time to get where we are. We are in our forties. We first had anal intercourse about 7 years ago, and it's an important part of our sex life. We have anal sex when the mood strikes us... sometimes we won't fuck in my ass for weeks, and then we'll do it every time we have sex, for days and days. I don't know why, we just do what feels good at the time. It can get addicting. Trust is the main thing. If you can't trust your man to take care of you, you won't be able to relax enough to enjoy anal. Especially if your man's cock is big. I have never had a man bigger than my husband, and IMHO bigger is always better. He's pretty long, but what I love is that his cock is really, really thick. I'm small, only 5'1", so even vaginal sex with him is a stretch for me, but I love it. We started out really slowly, years ago. Paolo licks pussy wonderfully. We would usually start sex by doing 69 for a while, then I'd lie back and he'd go down on me and make me come with his fingers and tongue before fucking me. Maybe we were in a bit of a rut, but we had small children, and when you finally have enough time to make love you concentrate on what works. One night while he was licking me one of his fingers (very wet) slipped down lower than usual and tickled my anus. It felt fantastic, and he obviously picked up on that, and next thing I knew he was slowly pushing his finger up my ass. I came so hard I nearly passed out. This turned out to be the key to me enjoying anal sex of any kind... clitoral and anal stimulation go together really, really well. paolo wanted to put his cock up my ass, but I refused. He'd make me come with his mouth on my pussy and his finger up my ass nearly every time we had sex, and I loved it, but I was sure his big cock would split my ass wide open, so no thank you! I underestimated paolo's patience. It took months of this, then one night he put two fingers up my ass, and I think I woke the neighbors with my screaming when I came. I asked him how he got two fingers up there, and he told me he'd lubed me with vaseline. All right! It made everything so slick and smooth there was absolutely no pain, only pleasure. I still prefer vaseline to any other anal lube. It took a few more months of that, then one night just as I was about to come, he took his mouth off my pussy and just worked his fingers deep in my ass. I came just from his fingers up me, and it was a totally new kind of orgasm... totally anal. I loved it. He started giving me pure anal orgasms all the time. Awesome. By this time I was really starting to want to try his cock in my ass, but I was afraid to say so. Then we bought a new kind of vibrator that was skinnier in the middle than either end, and the base was real wide so you can't lose it up there. We would start with oral, then fingers in my ass, then he'd slowly push the vibrator up my ass. After maybe ten minutes of that I'd be really hot and ready to come, then he'd slide his cock just a little ways into my vagina, and use another vibrator on my clit. OMG! We still do this a lot. I'll have multiple orgasms like this, and eventually his cock will be all the way up me with both vibrators still humming. The sensation is so good I can't tell what is in where sometimes. Wow! Finally one night we were doing this two-vibrators-plus-cock thing and I told paolo I wanted him to try putting his cock in my ass. He was delighted. He'd been working on me for about 3 years by this point. Maybe other girls are braver than me and can do it sooner, but I needed the whole 3 years to be convinced that I could do it. He used his tongue and fingers and lots of vaseline to get me just frantic that night. Every time I got close to coming, he'd stop licking my pussy and just hold me still until my nerves settled, then he'd start all over again. Then he told me to turn over and I got into knee-chest position with him behind me. He started to penetrate my ass, but it really hurt a lot with only just the head in, so he reached around and started rubbing my clit with his fingers. It felt really good, and it helped me relax. He reminded me to bear down like I was having a BM, which relaxes the anus, and then he slowly pushed his cock in deeper and deeper. It still hurt a bit, but only a little, and the pleasure in my clit and my ass was definitely worth the small amount of pain. It took maybe five minutes of slow pushing to get his cock halfway in, but at that point something in me just opened up and I told him to give me all of it, and he did. It was pure mind-blowing pleasure to feel the fullness of his cock all the way up my ass. Then he started thrusting, and between that and his fingers on my clit I didn't have a prayer of holding back, and I had a huge orgasm, and paolo came almost immediately after I did. Since that night we've never looked back. I am still pretty tight, and even after years of getting butt-fucked I still need a lot of vaseline (or Astroglide gel, which is almost as good and not so messy), and it still hurts a bit when he penetrates my ass. I don't mind that. It makes me feel like we're doing something really special that keeps on being special. There are as many ways of having anal intercourse as you can imagine. Vibrators, toys, different positions, you name it. We like to make it last. Sometimes he'll fuck my ass for half an hour or even longer... I can't tell, I'm too busy having orgasms to watch the clock. Other times we'll do other things, and he'll only be up my ass for a few minutes before he comes. I like to put a buttplug up his ass sometimes just before he penetrates me, but most of our anal play definitely takes place in my multiple-orgasmic ass. My only firm rule for anal sex is that he must come in my ass before he can stop, no matter how long it takes. Sometimes, if we're on our second or third fuck of the evening, it can take him a while. But it's worth the pleasure of feeling his come spurting in my ass. I hope this answer wasn't too long, but I really believe any couple who puts the effort into learning how to experience this wonderful way of making love needs the encouragement to do so. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find paolo. All this thinking about anal sex has made me more than a little horny. Elise

I couldn't agree more! My wife and I have used fantasy for a long time... sometimes private, sometimes shared. The typical is to think about your partner being someone else... a fictional character, or someone from history. That works great for me! If one of us shares a fantasy with the other, we'll sometimes act it out... costumes, wigs, setting, you name it. It can be tremendous fun. One time we were in the middle of a really, really hot encounter--she was wearing a long brunette wig and a really retro-looking burgundy velvet corset--and we had got a bit high beforehand--anyway, I looked down at her as she was coming for about the 10th time, and her face looked really different. It was like I was fucking a different woman, but it was still her. Very surreal. As she pulled me into her, I heard a little voice in my head reciting a line from an erotic story I once read: "I paid for semen, so GIVE IT TO ME!" I absolutely exploded instantly. I later shared the fantasy with her, and she was really into acting it out... basically, I play the role of a professional sperm donor, and she plays the role of a rich woman paying to be impregnated... very hot! We played with that fantasy for almost a full month, almost every day, until we got too tired and sore to keep at it. We still play that game every now and then. Fantasy.. safe and fun!

Lisa: my wife and I enjoy deep anal sex. We also found that about 5-6" deep can be painful, but found out getting past that depth is worth the effort. Size has little to do with it.. she is 5'2", I am 6'3", and when erect I'm almost 9 inches long and 8 inches around, and she can take every last centimeter. It took us a long time to get there, though. We used a lot of smaller vibrators to get her comfortable in earlier times. A couple of things we've found really help: 1) position--it works best for her if she's on her back with her feet up on my shoulders, or if she's in the knee-chest position and supported by a Liberator wedge cushion. 2) clitoral stimulation while inserting toy or penis--she's in charge of a good vibrator while I do the honors in the penetration department. Going in slowly helps, especially at the 5 to 6 inch point, where you say you have to stop. We'll usually pause at that depth for a few minutes. Sometimes it helps if she lets herself come with the vibrator. We wait until she opens up, then slide all the way in. 3) Good lubricant--we tried and do use all the lubes, water-based, silicone-based, but nothing works as well as vaseline for really deep/thick penetration. It's very slippery and lasts a long, long time. Nothing works better for anal intercourse. It will destroy latex toys, though, so be careful. She prefers either really shallow anal penetration, or really deep.. nothing in between. With deep penetration, her orgasms are explosive. So we both work really carefully and slowly to get past the painful 5" depth. Good luck!

Cockrings are fun toys, but they don't really do much to prolong an erection or delay male orgasm, although I've found a tight cockring will intensify my orgasms. In my experience, delaying my orgasm means I get to enjoy sex longer, but it's not always easy. If your man has gone too long without sex, it can be really difficult for him to hold back. Sometimes relieving the pressure with a quickie or a blowjob, then having more leisurely sex an hour or two later will help. Also, Viagra can help a lot for guys who come too fast. The drug works for hours, so he will be able to have sex several times. Usually the second and third (or more, depending!) time around his erection will last a long time and he won't have the urgency he had the first time. Your idea of setting aside a whole night is a good one. My partner and I try to set aside a lot of time for our sexual encounters, so we can have sex lots of ways and lots of times. When our kids were smaller, we'd get a hotel room for a 'dirty weekend' every couple of months so we could take the time we needed. Now, we just plan ahead and have our private sex parties when the kids are out with friends. It's way better than going to the movies!