What To Do About My Lil Brother

[luvhim93]

Okay…where the posting went. I have no clue. So I will try it again.

My 20 y/o brother is living with us… he is on my computer a lot….. I have to boot him off even though he has his own laptop. I have pctattle because of my 13 y/o daughter….well I see EVERYTHING!! Now I am scared and worried for my brother.

He is emailing all of these people from craigslist…about sex..threesomes, gang bangs, twosomes. He is passing them pics of himself in his military outfit and of his penis.

He gives them his cell number, tells them where he works, that he is a student, and in the army …I don’t know what has really happened, if anything at all. I know that they have made plans to meet…if they did I cannot tell ya. I di know that there is a date of may 4 for 9pm at a local hotel for a 10 man gang bang that this chic is setting up. I am worried about his safety…std’s and getting beaten up.

I have made genral references about this sort of stuff with him…and he chuckles it off. He had no idea that I know any of this.

I have given him my tootimid lube even. He can get a girl that is not a problem..he is in the army, blonde hair, blue eyes…handsome I tell ya. The girls flock to him.

Do you think I should be worried or maybe just maybe he is contacting them to boost his ego….

What would you do? He knows NO ONE is allowed to come to our home as we have small kids here..NO ONE!

[luvhim93]

making sure it stayed

[nu_2_toyz]

Scary stuff. Sorry, I have no advice

[Tyger]

I had a wild step-sister that nobody could control when it came to sex. She slept with everything with a dick. I was only 9 mos older than she, so she thought I was being bossy. But I just told her to be careful, don't go off with someone she didn't trust (although if she met them for 5 min, she KNEW them), and use condoms. I even went so far to take handfuls of them each time I went to family planning. They use to pass them out for free.

Unfortunately, all you can do is voice your concerns. I would tell him not to use your computer for such interaction. If he wants to do that bad enough, he can use his laptop for it. Just tell him you want to be safe, get condoms, and make sure that he has his cell phone on him, and ask him to call you when he gets there with an address, and maybe even the morning after. That's about all you really can do, since he's an adult.

[Mikayla1]

This is such dangerous behavior. HE could show up to meet somewhere and get GANG BANGED himself! Plus, depending on what else he may be doing online, passing lude pictures of oneself can be highly illegal! I would not let him on my computer anymore, I would tell him that I saw EVERYTHING that he did, and then leave it up to him. He is not a baby, he is 20 years old. You need to protect your family and your little girl. Try to talk some sense into him, and if he is unwilling to listen, he is a big boy. IF he is old enough to be in the army, then he is old enough to be on his own!

[drnurse]

Another issue on top of what everyone else has mentioned...if he is in the military they are held to a different standard then civilian law. If he gets caught in a bad situation military laws can take effect too. Just a thought.... But when you're young you think you know it all. I commend you for trying to make a difference for him.

[luvhim93]

i have thought about his military issues....

i know he i my brother, but i feel like i have to be his mother ( our mother bailed on us..) i am 12 years older than him... i left home perm. when i was 16..moved 6 hours from anyone when i was 19.... i feel that i am having to pick up where she left off...

if i had not invaded his privacy i would not have ever known about this... i am worried for his safety....i tell him i can buy him a gigi ...he turns red..but i know what he is really thinking...

i need to come up with a way to tactfully engage in this conversation with out getting him defensive. I think for the first time he is enjoying having someone home with him...family..

a part of me wants to think that maybe he is just doing all this email thing to float his boat...has no intentions of doing anything beyond emails......

[luvhim93]

one more twist....he does not know any of these people....he found them off of craigs list!!!

when i spoke of privacy.. i have his passowrd to all of his accounts....email, myspace, facebook....all of them....and i check them...

i hear you on the privacy on my computer...i don't need self-porn on my computer being tracked to me being sent to someone else......

[speedemon]

as far as the outcome of all this, i have a friend that was just discharged from the navy because of a lude photo that he had on HIS laptop in HIS room of HIM in his flight suit. it was not sent anywhere but a supirior walked into do a room inspection while he was in the bath room and saw it and they kicked him out for it. now i fully understand that this is all on your home computer but if he is sending these pics out to other sites and people lord help him if the wrong person see's him in his uniform like that and decides to be a dick about it. just my opinion but if he has his own laptop then he should use it.

[luvhim93]

wow.... i we have had the talk....buti know he is still doing it...even though he said he isn't..... he has been sending them via his computer not mine..at least the pics

[promiscuouseuphoria]

I have the feeling I'm going to be figuratively smacked upside the head for this, but what the hell.

If you feel he is an endangerment to your family, kick him out. If not, let him hang himself with his own rope. I understand the concern, but he's your brother not your son, and therefore he's not your responsibility. Voice your concerns, and leave it at that. And I have to say I disagree with you using his passwords to check on all his various accounts - is he 20 or is he 13? I certainly agree he shouldn't be doing any of it on your computer. Truth is, though, he's an adult, and you can't control his actions. You can just put your foot down about what happens in your house. And again, if you can't tolerate his behavior, kick him out.

[whiskeywoman]

I have to agree with euphoria on this one, You have tried talking nicely, you have tried egging and a little strong arm, now it is time for some tough love.

Emailing nude photos of yourself is highly illegal.

Inform your brother that some people are not what they appear to be, not too recently there was a gentleman who made an arrangement for a meeting with a girl from craigslist.

He arrived, and was promtly arrested by the local police department, on the charges of trying to have sexual relations with a minor.

The wholw sham was a sting operation.

if he gets caught, not only will he go to jail, he will be court marshalled under the military laws, the laws will incarcerate him until they decide wich is beter, to try him as a civillian or to try him as military.

Selling or advertiseing sex on craigslist is also highly illegal, unfortunatly because several news agencies have shed light on the existance of craigslist and the goings on behind it, many people are now swamping the servers with ads so fast that the administrators can not take them down or even report them fast enough.

Every ad placed leaves behind an IP adress, and this in turn when traced can tell folks where it came from, but you have to have the rights to acess the IP log file.

If you havnt done so already, I very strongly urge you do a disk scan, clean all files, do a defrag on all the files, and clean out your browsing history, your cookie files and run an antivirus/anti adware/spyware program, because as it stands right now, YOUR computer has left millions of "virtual fingerprints" all over the net that will lead amature hackers or even a midlevel person like myself right to your doorstop.

if you need the names of any programs or help with any of this stuff send me a PM I will be more than happy to help.

Tell your brother if his behavior continues, you will inform his supierors of his actions, and he will also have to begin looking for other living arrangments because his actions have caused your family nothing but problems, and can possibly endanger your children.

If he tried to aleveate your fears, don't listen to him, don't believe him.

Trust me on this one, I have been screwing around with this kind of stuff for the last 10 years, I should know.

I honestly think thats why my ex is still so mad at me, because he sent me an email and I did a reverse ISP lookup and found his addy, and gave it to the lawyers.

This is very dangerous stuff your brother is doing, in more than one way.

[Chris'sgirl]

I think this might be my first post :/

Anyway, my first thought was to call his first shirt. I'm thinking if he gets caught after the fact, life will hurt a lot worse. He needs some redirection.

BTW, my dh is in the military. Too bad he's not here. I would ask him he had any thoughts.

[bijoe]

May be a little late but thought I would give it a try, I was in the army for eight years and the best thing I can think for you to do other than simply kicking him out, is to contact his unit and speak with the chaplin, they are trained to deal with troubled soldiers and have dealt with situations such as this in the past, and should be able to help him. And don't worry about jeapordising his millitary carrer as long as you only voice these matters to the chaplin no one will know. chaplins have a confidentiality agreement.

Hope this helps and hope it is not too late.