Newbie XoXtinydancerXoX Posted July 19, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 HI! me and my boyfriend are very serious and have been dateing for 2 years and really want to have sex [ we are both virgins in our early 20's] but i am scared. he is huge! i didnt know if maybe there are positions that would make it hurt less..? i wouldnt know who to ask so i thought maybe you guys could help! thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted July 19, 2007 Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 Well, I had my first time with him on top. He had some experience, and listened to what I said. He went slow and easy. After a while, I got tired of acting like I was going toYou should discuss this with your BF before anything happens. Make sure that no matter what position you choose, he knows that if you say "back off a bit" that he really does. He'll be able to feel pressure, but not the discomfort.There will be slight discomfort, but not outrageous pain. But, using lube, and, of course, condoms, are great ideas for any of your sexual exploits. The woman's vagina is made to stretch. My first was only about 6" long. However, being inexperienced, of course he felt huge. With a condom, though I ALWAYS promote the use of, he won't be able to feel as much as he would going without one, so make sure he knows how you're feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members MystryKitten Posted July 19, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 I've definatly been in a similar situation. I was a virgin not too long ago and one reason I was scared to lose my virginity to my current boyfriend was the fact that he was 'huge', as he has to wear magnum xl condoms. When the time came that I felt ready enough to have sex I was on top the first time, and I really recommend this postion as Howard did. I could go at my OWN pace and I controlled how much of his penis I wanted to take in at a time. Took me a good 20min (which we probably should after stopped after 10min) to get his penis in all the way but this was due to the fact that I was not relaxed hardly at all, and not lubed up enough either. Before your first time make sure there is a LOT of foreplay to get you relaxed and each other excited, extra lube on hand, and patience. If it hurts too much, try again another time. Sex definatly gets better the more you do it. And trust me, your vagina will get used to his size! It all takes time. good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members me4now Posted July 19, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 Everything that has been said so far is correct, when i lost my virginity he was on top But he went very slow with me he talk me through everything and ask me to express to him how things felt and i did. Yes there was some discomfort and we had lots of foreplay which was great and we used a condom with some lubrication. So as it has been said before please talk it over with your boyfriend and explain how nervous & scared you are and when you both agree that this is going to happen then take it slow follow the advice from here and things should be fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members foryoureyesonly Posted July 19, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2007 Excellent advice Howard. It is absolutely true that you do not have to take him all the way in the first time. It took us probably about a week before I could take him completely. Definitely you on top as others have already said. This in and of itself took some getting used to as we (okay, ME) had not done a whole lot of exploring before and I was still very self-conscious of him seeing all there was to see. You are definitely on display in this position. Just relax as much as possible and as others have said, make sure there is LOTS of foreplay and plenty of lube.Can I also add, you are young, you have a whole lifetime ahead of you. Your first time is something you never forget. If you can't make it special (that is, don't do it in the back seat of a car or hidden away somewhere that can get you into trouble) then wait. I know, it's not what you asked, but, the mom in me is coming out and I am telling you essentially the same thing I told my 18 yo daughter. As I'm sure you have already thought of, this decision is forever, no taking it back. Make it something you can look back on and remember fondly, not just sweaty and in the moment. Sorry, I will get off the soapbox now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whittibo Posted July 20, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 Can I also add, you are young, you have a whole lifetime ahead of you. Your first time is something you never forget. If you can't make it special (that is, don't do it in the back seat of a car or hidden away somewhere that can get you into trouble) then wait. I know, it's not what you asked, but, the mom in me is coming out and I am telling you essentially the same thing I told my 18 yo daughter. As I'm sure you have already thought of, this decision is forever, no taking it back. Make it something you can look back on and remember fondly, not just sweaty and in the moment. Sorry, I will get off the soapbox now.EXCELLENT ADVICE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Luna Posted July 20, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 20, 2007 I wouldn`t recommend trying to orgasm before the intercourse because after that some women experience soreness and oversensitivity. However, if you already know you aren`t one of them then go for it. But, as already mentioned, lube is your friend and communication, too. If something hurts, say it. Don`t take too much pressure about making the first time perfect technical-wise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted July 24, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2007 I was very lucky when I lost my virginity. My SO at the time listened very well to me, I also listened to him to. You are young so make sure this is the someone who want to lose your virginity to. Make it special, romatic night out then maybe a candle light room etc.....I do agree with the other posters here. LUBE is your best friend. Take it slow have lots of communication, make sure that you are already excited, not rush lots of foreplay. Make sure you talk to him and let him now that it hurts etc.. Although my first time never HURT, and my boyfriend was well endowed, I was relaxed and comfortable with him and we talked and giggled and it is one night still to this day I will never forget. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members lynnzerben Posted July 25, 2007 Members Report Share Posted July 25, 2007 I read this advice on some other web site ( I don't remember where) and I'll pass it along. The article I read said that one way to avoid pain was to stretch your self out with a toy first. Now I don't know how keen on this idea you or anyone else is.What I think would be a good way to do this, (and if this is a bad idea everyone is welcome to tell me so) is get a toy that is smaller then he is and have him insert it before hand as part of the foreplay.It's all up to you how you want to do this. It's you're special night (or day) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie FutureMrsET Posted August 12, 2007 Newbie Report Share Posted August 12, 2007 To be honest my first time was horrible. He tore me because he wanted to go too fast I was bleeding horribly for a long time. Now my fiancee is having to deal with my fear of sex. We are taking it slow and talking a lot about what I am comfortable with and such which is a good thing. He has some sex toys that he wants me to try out. I looked at one of them on this site and they look scary so he said it's alright we won't use those toys. Ben-wa balls, since I was tore so badly and the pain was horrible (felt like I was being torn from the inside) the thought of this toy scares me to death. But communication is the key.First time with me on top was not a good idea because that was how I was tore up. Is there another position that would be good for the both of us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sever2morrow Posted August 12, 2007 Members Report Share Posted August 12, 2007 HI! me and my boyfriend are very serious and have been dateing for 2 years and really want to have sex [ we are both virgins in our early 20's] but i am scared. he is huge! i didnt know if maybe there are positions that would make it hurt less..? i wouldnt know who to ask so i thought maybe you guys could help! thanks!To be honest, tinydancer, the position isn't really that important. Your fella seems to be sensitive enough, as he's waited, so it's just a case of taking things nice and slow.Just say when... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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