@#%$&^!

[whiskeywoman]

Ok, I have to vent.

I don't expect anyone to respond to this, but I have to get it off my chest.

For the last 3 months, I have been careing for my grandfather who was suffering from brain cancer.

Last week, it mastized into his neck and spine.

This morning at 2:30 he passed away.

I stayed up with my mom till the coroner came and took away his body.

We were up till 5 am answering the phone, making arrangments etc.

This afternoon, my step sister came over and began clearing out everything, and I do mean everything, clothes, knick knacks, knives, guns, you name it, she even tried to take my laptop!!

She claimed her daddy bought it for my mom.

She took guns that belonged to me that i inhereted from my dad.

To make matters worse, she came straight out and said she is going to get a lawyer to sue my mom for a truck that her dad drove, but my moms name is also on the title.

She just told her a few minutes ago that the truck was in my name, then she started jumping on me "give it to me, it's mine, my daddy promised it to me, if you dont give it to me I'll sue you for it"

I am sooooo pissed, its not bad enough that they don't care that grampa just died this morning, and that his hospital bed is in the living room,

oh no, not at all, what gets me is that they claim to want us in their family, but they brought my uncle back and dropped him off at the door step and never bothered to tell us or even discuss it with us.

Dont get me wrong, I love my uncle, and I am really glad to see him, but I am kinda pissed, cause now I have to hold off on getting a job again, because I have to stay home and keep an eye on him, because he is mentally and physically handicapped.

His body my be 65, but his mind is only 13.

Grrrr, sorry, I had to vent to someone, I am just really pissed,

They come in and clean everything out, whether it belongs to them or not, they act like they own everything, then pretend that everything is kosher.

Sorry, it gets my blood to boiling when they act like this.

[Tyger]

Death brings out the best, and the worst in people.

I don't think she has any grounds if someone else's name is also on something. When my father died, his GF had her name on his checking account, and we couldn't touch it. She had survivor benefits.

I believe, that, unless stated in a will, then she can't touch it. Unfortunately, the stuff she already took is probably gone for good. But, unfortunately, grieving and selfishness can sometimes go hand in hand. She's grabbing this stuff to either remember him, or cuz she felt slighted in some way. If there are outstanding bills, she has no right to that stuff until all the bills and his estate (funeral too) is settled. Stuff gets sold off first, before people can just grab what they want.

I hope he had a will. Because, even if she threatens to sue, she doesn't have a pot to piss in if he did. If he didn't have a will, then the Estate should get an estate lawyer.

*hugs*

[ToyQueen]

I am SO sorry about your grandfather.

Family can be such a pain. Some people don't seem to give a damn about what is going on in anyone else's life. I'm right with you there.

You and yours will be in my thoughts.

[thurisas]

Whiskeywoman,

I'm so sorry for your loss and I am always heartened to see people like you who will take a time out from their personal lives to give care for a loved one. For that alone I commend you. That sort of thing takes much strength and strength of character.

So far as your step sister, I would really suggest you call her and let her know that until the estate is settled that she has no right to anything in that house. It may cause tension, but you should also let her know that if every item she took from that house isn't returned that you will be reporting it all as stolen with the police. Let her know that if she wants to make a claim on anything, she should do so in a legal manner in conjunction with any will that may be in effect or, barring that, with state laws.

I am so sorry you have to go through this sort of crap during such a difficult time.

Thurisas.

[whiskeywoman]

Howard,

Thanks for the advice, mom and I are already searching for a lawyer.

There were no wills or estates, just the common knowledge that eventually grampas surviving son would get his belongings.

The agreement was that we would pack everything up and bring to california when we went to the funeral.

Now they are all up in arms saying that it must be done now.

As for why it is being allowed to leave, basiclly, I just don't want the arguments, the hasles fights etc, and she is the kind that would deal a blow rather than talk about it civially.

We just want them to go away and never come back.

However, now that we have had a chance to look, I plan on speaking to them about the rifle they took that belonged to my son.

I honestly believe that I have more of a right to my sons rifle than they do.

When he graduated hunter safety classes, my grandfather gave him a .22 rifle as a present.

They took it and honestly I believe I have more of a right to it than they do.

They also took his fishing pole, and I believe I also have a right to it, more than they do.

I know they are small petty items, and easily replaced, but honestly, as his mother, I want them.

I know it is probably petty and stupid, but come on, I have so few things of his, that I guess I just want to hold on to what small bits and pieces I have left.

Ok, enough, they will be here again in about a half an hour or so, I need to finish cleaning up some stuff and packing stuff up for them, and watching them like a hawk.

Later guys.

[pappyld04]

This is a very sad way to discover how some people really are. It seems that they were just waiting like Buzzards for this to happen so they could swoop in and do this. No matter how petty you consider the rifle and fishing pole you should get them back if possible. It's a shame that noone was prepared to deal with this but I don't think we expect the worst to come out in times like these. Sorry for your loss and I hope things get better for your whole family.

[pappyld04]

I don't know of many people, nutty or otherwise, who like paying lawyers Howard. In your case it probably made him judge himself rather than pay someone for that opinion you had given him for free.

[Tyger]

Pappy, WADR, I don't think anyone really likes PAYING for a lawyer, but, they are a necassary evil (no insult meant there Howard), especially when dealing with selfish family members when someone dies. It's unfortunate, but needed. Especially when you have crazies threatening to sue. Fortunately, the girl has no clue that she actually has to sue the ESTATE, not the individual person that may have legal claim to it.

When my Dad died, we had an odd ex GF of his that tried claiming rights to something she never had any legal claim too, and there were 3 girls. Thankfully, all of my sisters and I get along great! But one was a minor at the time, so in HER interest, we got a lawyer to make sure everyone was treated fairly. We definitely needed the lawyer, because, even if something makes TOTAL sense to almost everyone, the law may be totally different in its interperatation.

[pappyld04]

I have no doubt of that one at all. It is very much beyond neccessity. Unfortunately they have found one more way of getting into that asspocket. My comment was only towards Howards story of his kin in this matter who did not seek counsel. Not towards the situation of WW. Hers is one I hate to say that we've probably all seen.

[pappyld04]

Isn't it a shame that the system has found a way to capitalize on EVERY misery in this country?

[whiskeywoman]

Well, Y'alls will be happy to know that I spoke with my step sisters husband.

I very calmly explained to him that my sons fishing pole and my rifles were taken amongst those of my step fathers and my grandfathers.

I had a feeling I would gain more ground with him rather than his wife.

He apologized profusely for taking them, and promised to return them.

They will be back AGAIN for a pair of binoculars that are supposed to be here, and for a box of things that rightfully belong to her.

So, we will see what happens.

Stasy tuned for further details........

[chloegirl]

Howard,

I know it is extremely bad to ask for free advice, but I have a situation sort of like this coming on. My father probably won't be around a year from now due to failing health and you never know but my mother is not much better, but we are also worried that if he has to go to a nursing home first it will bleed my mother dry of what they have. Is is better to set up a will or a living trust now? Should we put all their assets into mine and my brother's name now? Do you recommend we see a lawyer about this? It's not like they will leave a huge estate or anything but we want to be sure what's left is split up fairly and doesn't get lost in red tape. Thanks for any advice!

''

[pappyld04]

Well, Y'alls will be happy to know that I spoke with my step sisters husband.

I very calmly explained to him that my sons fishing pole and my rifles were taken amongst those of my step fathers and my grandfathers.

I had a feeling I would gain more ground with him rather than his wife.

He apologized profusely for taking them, and promised to return them.

They will be back AGAIN for a pair of binoculars that are supposed to be here, and for a box of things that rightfully belong to her.

So, we will see what happens.

Stasy tuned for further details........

RIGHT ON WW!!

[pappyld04]

Its not a system. Its people. Greedy, rotten people. we spawn thousands of them. Its because of them that good people have to be prepared to recognize them, and take steps to protect themselves from them. And sometimes you have to protect yourself from your own feelings. That is why police should be called when you are so distraught that you can't deal with a problem person. A disinterested third person can do the work for you. That is also why we have lawyers, and its the job lawyers perform.

The idea about telling crazy people to hire a lawyer was one a came to years before my uncle mad an ass out of himself. I used it on behalf of a divorced woman, whose " X" had found " God " and was stalking her, harassing her, and insisting that she go to church with him, and then remarry him. She wanted nothing to do with him. So I sent the guy a letter. It was truly one of my finer efforts. The letter says just about absolutely nothing, but it surely sound ominous. My law professors would be proud. The letter worked. I saved a copy of it, and got a chance to use it again for another client of the firm many years later. When my uncle pulled his stunts on my mother, I told her to just send me his letters and let me handle it. She was decidedly relieved. I sent her copies of the letters I wrote to my uncle. My father called me, laughing, as he realized what I had done. MY uncle would never spend a dime on an attorney. When that uncle was dying of cancer, I went up to visit him, but he would not see us, and only wanted to talk to my mother. While we waited outside, my aunt remembered my correspondence, and told me she laughed so hard when she read my letter she thought she was going to pee her panties. She knew her husband was so tight he would never spend a dime for legal advice, and she was already upset at him for writing those letters to my mother I have kept that file, and his letter, with my correspondence back to him to share with cleints who think their family members are the most outrageous people on the earth. They think better of their relatives after reading portions of his letters and listening to the story I tell about it all. They also come to understand that people do all kinds of crazy things when members of their family die-- things they would never do ever again. Its not always motivated by grief, which is why I made my assessment of " gredy rotten " people above. For them, there is something very intimidating about a guy in a suit, and tie with a briefcase, showing up at their door with his business card, and suggesting that they have their attorney call him soon about the matter.

I remember those days as I was growing up, and how my whole family reacted to even the mention of a LAWYER! It only took my father and mother about 20 years before they finally consulted me on a legal matter, and then it was almost too late to do them any good. They had already signed a contract, and wanted me to Then tell them what was wrong with it.

I know a lot of lawyers who come from families just like mine.

Howard

I can't argue about that assessment at all! Nor would I disagree with it.

[bazil323]

That is so sad...people can be so greedy.

My grandma was recently in a similar situation. Her brother died, no kids, and Gramma would write him letters, call him, and when she was in the area, she visited him. The other "family" was not related any closer than Gramma, and the never checked in on him. Never contacted him, didn't care. Then they show up demanding all his stuff, claiming that they took care of him and let him stay with them, etc! Gramma just let it go because she's pretty shy and gets really nervous with any confrontation. I think Gramma was even the sole inheritor in his will...not sure though.

Anyway, I hope it goes better for you. Get a lawyer, hang tough.

[whiskeywoman]

Just so y'alls know,

I never did get my sons rifle or fishing pole back.

But, not to fret, this is not even close to being done, of that I can assure you.

I went to the pawn shop where the guns were purchased, I spoke with the owner, he keeps copies of sales of every firearm and their registered serial number.

He also keeps copies of the background check he does on potential buyers.

Obtaining copies of the purchase records is not an issue, all we have to do is go down there, show our IDs and he will gladly issue us a copy of the orginal purchase record.

We have been finding more and more things missing as we go along and clean up the mess she left behind.

The house looks as though it had been ransacked, furniture moved, clothes everywhere, boxes ripped open and then left for us to clean.

But, it's all good, I just know that Karma will come back and bite her right in the ass!

We just want to make sure all our bases are covered and not go into this half cocked..

We will get an attorney and file suit against her.

She has it in her mind that she is going to force mom to sell the house and give her half of the money, and to give her the truck to boot.

Well, she is in for a major surprise, moms name is the only one on he title to the house, and on the truck.

She has nothing, she claims her dad promised her the truck, but, since there was no will or anykind of promissary note, she doesnt have much to go on, just a claim that he said it, with no wittnesses.

The whole situation is about to get super nasty, because the step biyatch won't let it go till she has my mom broken and homeless.

We haven't told her that we have reciepts for the guns, or that we plan on bring her to court for abusing a handicapped adult.

Those are our aces in the hole, if we told her or her uncle that we had them, she would book to another state so we couldn't find her.

Anyways, I need to jet, time for me to go and attempt to start cleaning out the laundry room where the puppies resided.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings, it realy helps to know that I can get it off my chest.

[pappyld04]

That ransacking technique is one that is, imho, used to deflect the attention from what has really been done here. I do hope things improve for you all!!!