Members Mikayla1 Posted January 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Hello board!I think that it is once again time to reiterate some of the goals / objectives / rules and suggestions for visiting and posting on Too Timid.Our goal as a board (and MY goal as Sex Educator) is to:(1) answer questions(2) discuss various topics(3) find answers or send posters to alternative sources for information(4) share experiences(5) learn from each other(6) have FUN and meet new peopleNow, occassionally there are hot button topics that start on forum, which we love, but are not always handled as 'gently' as they should be. Sometimes people are unwilling to accept advice or viewpoints from other posters, and some posters are not as understanding that some advice doesn't want to be heard.I am guilty of being one of these posters that wants / likes to be heard - and sometimes my advice falls on deaf ears. I, like others, have to learn that we can only offer the advice, the best we can, and after that it is out of our hands! I sometimes forget that this is a forum, not a courtroom or a debate class, and let things go. Others can learn to do the same.By the same accord, if you are a poster and you got some advice that you do not like, or feel is unfair to you, please remember that we are truly trying to help here. We have a ton of regulars who put in their time to help, if you do not agree with the advice, suggestions, topics or whatever, please do not be rude to the person who gave you the advice. It is only with good intent that we try to discuss adult topics here, and when they get out of hand, sometimes feelings get hurt or egos get bruised. It happens to all of us.So, a good rule to follow is: (1) always be as sensitive as you can about the question or topic(2) don't be rude to those offering advice (you have the option to not reply at all)(3) don't judge people for their viewpoints or ideas (that goes BOTH ways)(4) no name calling or making fun of someone's choices or experiencesOne final thing, please, PLEASE read carefully what is written before you jump to conclusions or get upset. Many posters here are very specific about what they write and mean it like it is written (I am one of those persons) so if you have doubt about what is said, please take a moment to re-read it so you know if it was truly meant to offend.Now, can we get back to posting, reading and learning!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Well said! Also, please remember, that this IS a message board. So, don't take things "personally". Please don't think that someone's taking the time to "pick on" you or single you out to be mean or disrespectful, unless, of course, they PM you, to which you always have the option to report and block the offending person from your PM's. Please keep an open mind to what people are saying, and try to be respectful as possible. Reread what you write, to make sure that it's coming across as you mean it. There are several times that, when I reread something, I edit it, because it could be taken totally wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted January 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 As a member who often finds myself being misinterpreted at the other end I think Mikayla's post makes a lot of sense here. Please take the time to re-read and decide what you want to do with that advice. Everyone is offended by something it's just a matter of how we interpret these posts. Blocking someone IMHO makes no sense because somewhere down the street they may have a perfect answer for you or I. People never see things the same way so it is very important to keep an open-mind about the answers that are recieved. I don't know that I would agree that things have gotten overly nasty here unless there have been serious name-calling or have escalated beyond this. This forum is all people from different walks of life and should really be seen as such. This is exactly what I believe makes this forum much different than any other I have been to anywhere on the net. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hollybw Posted January 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Well... I know where this came from... Thanks for reminding everyone, M! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToyQueen Posted January 15, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 Very well put, Mikayla. Sometimes I think we all need a reminder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jesso Posted January 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 Thanks for a well needed group reminder. I think keeping with these guidelines helps create a better board where more might feel comfortable to chime in when they want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members littlemissnonamegirl Posted January 16, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 Always good to remind each other just so we can keep this forum focused on helping and lending advice without any judging or misconstruing. Definitely understand what you mean Mikayla, and we have to remember to do those things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members curvacious_lust Posted January 17, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 17, 2008 Dam...what'd I miss THIS time??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted January 20, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Yeah I agree. I've been talking to a member and they up and leaving because of forum members. We need to contain ourselves and watch what we post and say on a personal note. I admit I myself at times get carried away but not to the extent of running people off. I can't say that I've seen anyone leave because of this, yet. Some do get a bit mad about the answers they recieve but with a day or so of cooling-off they generally end up right back in here. That is what makes this site so unique. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted January 20, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Well, I have been on forum for, oh 2 1/2 years now and I have seen many people come and many people go. THe ones who go usually leave because their sex lives have been 'fixed' and they see no need to post or read any longer. Then there are those who have come here to stir up trouble - the eventually tire of it and leave as well. More recently, there have been some people leave because they have tried to oust the long time members (me, for example) and when they fail, they too leave.I think in any forum where there are numerous personalities and egos there is bound to be differentiating viewpoints and issues because of this. Since I am a very strong willed and outspoken person (as are others here) it sometimes meets with resistance or contrast - and as such, conflict. Oh well, I am still here, they are gone, and honestly, the forum is better for it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members littlemissnonamegirl Posted January 20, 2008 Members Report Share Posted January 20, 2008 Mikayla,we're lucky to have people like you and Howard and others who DO have so much to say and help.YOu guys really make this place, and are gods in my books lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted January 22, 2008 Report Share Posted January 22, 2008 We ALL need to remember we are here to help people. We are not here to cast judgements. There is enough of that going on in the world and this forum simply has no place for it. This forum is a valuable resource when we all feel comfortable participating without worrying about being judged or singled out. Before you make a post, be mindful of what you are saying and how it could be taken. There are certain things on here that I read that are completely against my personal beliefs. There are topics on here that I simply know it is something I am not interested in. Should I make a post telling people I think they are freaks? On the other hand, because I am not into a certain sex act or fetish, should you feel you have the moral authority to talk down to me simply because you are? There are a few topics that the board ha no tolerance for and will get members get deleted: physical/mental abuse and child porn. The majority of people here on the board understand we are not here to judge people or push our views on others. We are hear to help others and have a little fun. Debating and giving your opinion is completely different than talking down to someone. Many of the problems on the board could have been avoided if the poster simply framed their response differently. Thanks for listening.Rob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted January 24, 2008 Author Members Report Share Posted January 24, 2008 This is indeed true. I don't necessarily think anyone here is trying to say that age = knowledge. By the same account, some younger folks do think they know it all, and they don't. Then they are unwilling to listen and choose to argue about insignificant things. The glory of this site is that the poster can read and listen - or read and ignore - or not read at all. With the best intentions paved in gold, we sometimes do not hit on what the poster wants to hear. This is the nature of an anonymous board. Hopefully we help more than anything! Also a friendly reminder, the board has moderators because Rob and Chad can't spend all there time here watching the board. Meg, Emily, Howard, Tyger and myself are all moderators for a reason. We have some 'power' to decide if we think people are getting out of hand as well. If one of us says something about the posting here it is with the best intentions of TooTimid as a whole. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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