Members thurisas Posted March 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 So, my wife and I have nice little light bondage sessions now and again. Of course, its always good to have a safe word when doing this. I was just wondering what other people's safe words were. For us it can change from time to time and has been fluffernutter but is more often than not Door Knob. So, what's yours?Thurisas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted March 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 Ours has always been lightbulb - but you know, 'fluffernutter' sounds great!!! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted March 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 3, 2008 Words can be interchanged and/or mistaken so might I suggest a hand signal or similar to make sure there is no confusion. In a session I often ask my gf to wiggle her fingers if everything is OK so that I know I can proceed cautiously at least. I have actually seen her fall into what is commonly called sub-space where she absolutely would not respond verbally so I found this a better way to communicate without interrupting her mindset completely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted March 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2008 Ours has been pixysticks forever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted March 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2008 Ours has been pixysticks forever.Oh my gawd, Kat, I love it! *giggle*Words can be interchanged and/or mistaken so might I suggest a hand signal or similar to make sure there is no confusion. In a session I often ask my gf to wiggle her fingers if everything is OK so that I know I can proceed cautiously at least. I have actually seen her fall into what is commonly called sub-space where she absolutely would not respond verbally so I found this a better way to communicate without interrupting her mindset completely.Comically, we have a hand signal, but it's never been used for sex. Whenever Thurisas tickles me to the point where I can't breathe & I feel I'm going to choke, I stick my middle finger at him -- classy, eh?! *laugh* I don't remember how many years we've had that signal, but I do remember thinking it up with him. When I do it, he knows I REALLY need him to stop and so he stops! I'm guessing if I ever had to do that during sex, he'd get the hint, too. *chuckle* We've talked/written about nonverbal cues in other threads before; it just didn't get mentioned here -- nice catch, pappy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Avalon616 Posted March 5, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 5, 2008 I know it's rather cliche, but I'm a big fan of using Yellow for slow down, and Red for stop. I like having the option of an intermediate phrase, so that the person in charge of the action can stop the particular action they're doing without breaking the scene completely. I've never actually had to use my safe words. I'm not sure if it's a good thing that my partners know where my limits are, or if it's a bad thing that no one's tested them!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members littlemissnonamegirl Posted March 9, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2008 Lol I do like fluffernutter, I'd get hungry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jesso Posted March 9, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 9, 2008 Val that's hilarious - I can see how it would be effective And how did you guys come up with fluffernutter, pretty obscure. I've had a couple, but of late we use Smurf. Easy to yell out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted March 11, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Val that's hilarious - I can see how it would be effective And how did you guys come up with fluffernutter, pretty obscure. I've had a couple, but of late we use Smurf. Easy to yell out!*laughing* I've asked Thurisas, but neither of us can remember how we came up with that. I had to laugh at how "proper" he typed it, though. We're from Maine and we don't pronounce our "er"s like that! It's "FluffaNuttah!" We just try to make sure whatever word we decide upon at the beginning of our tie-play has absolutely nothing to do with anything resembling sex or the bedroom itself; that way, there can be no confusions. And the words are usually easier to say than "fluffanuttah." *laugh* Fortunately, we've never had to use a safe word, but I still think it's a great practice -- I was glad to learn about them (from here, of course!) and I like trying to "spread the word about the word" when I get the chance. I'm still loving "pixysticks..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members littlemissnonamegirl Posted March 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Man you guys are making me hungry with all these food/candy safe words!lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted March 12, 2008 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2008 Oh my gawd, Kat, I love it! *giggle*Comically, we have a hand signal, but it's never been used for sex. Whenever Thurisas tickles me to the point where I can't breathe & I feel I'm going to choke, I stick my middle finger at him -- classy, eh?! *laugh* I don't remember how many years we've had that signal, but I do remember thinking it up with him. When I do it, he knows I REALLY need him to stop and so he stops! I'm guessing if I ever had to do that during sex, he'd get the hint, too. *chuckle* We've talked/written about nonverbal cues in other threads before; it just didn't get mentioned here -- nice catch, pappy. That is what we call "hallway sex" in my house. Used when we have time for no other type! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mike_d Posted May 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 potato salad....my brothers and I (we are all very good friends and a close group) use this also when we are ready for the the rest to leave so we can get laid.....if they are over staying their welcome, potato salad and they are out the door in 5....and I am in the bed, floor, dining room table by 6..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PanickedVanity Posted May 2, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 Scrambled Eggs, cause you can make it out through a gag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eminatic Posted May 2, 2008 Report Share Posted May 2, 2008 ours is candyland but i've never had to use it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 basket....it was sitting on the table when we were talking about picking a safe word Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted May 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 What do you do if they don't listen to the safe word? Reason I am asking is that we talked about safe words, and he doesn't stop when he's doing something that's uncomfortable, he just keeps going and laughs at me. He eventually stops but not when I say it. Makes me worried about bondage. Really. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie boundwicca Posted May 3, 2008 Newbie Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 What do you do if they don't listen to the safe word? Reason I am asking is that we talked about safe words, and he doesn't stop when he's doing something that's uncomfortable, he just keeps going and laughs at me. He eventually stops but not when I say it. Makes me worried about bondage. Really.Would that not be called rape???? As in NO means NO!!! Thats my theroy on it I could be wrong if so I appologize Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eminatic Posted May 3, 2008 Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 Would that not be called rape???? As in NO means NO!!! Thats my theroy on it I could be wrong if so I appologize i agree; i would stop having sex with him altogether until he can get his priorities straight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted May 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 I have never had anything but 'bondage light'...just being tied up...and I never knew enough about it to have a safe word...I'd just beg until I'd get really angry and yell "stop!!". fortunatley my partners were responsive. But next time the issue comes up, i will address that before the ties come out, for me AND my lover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 What do you do if they don't listen to the safe word? Reason I am asking is that we talked about safe words, and he doesn't stop when he's doing something that's uncomfortable, he just keeps going and laughs at me. He eventually stops but not when I say it. Makes me worried about bondage. Really.i would be worried to...try sitting him down and talking about it...and if he doesent listen, then i would not even venture into bondage, or allow anything that might make you uncomfortable to begin with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted May 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 I add my sentiment about being worried. The safe word is meant so the person knows NO MATTER WHAT that you are uncomfortable and want things to stop THEN AND THERE. Sometimes people get carried away and the "No, no!" gets to be part of the role-play in their mind... with the safe word, there is NO QUESTION about what's real or fantasy.I don't remember how long you and your husband have been married and I don't remember any other posts that sound like he's a dick, but I would try the sitting-down-and-talking thing one more time to find out why he does this & to make sure he fully understands the real meaning behind the safe word. You need to feel a gozillion percent comfortable with your spouse, in and out of the bedroom. There needs to be mutual respect in order for there to be strength and love. He's not respecting the rules & he's not respecting you. If there's something that makes you uncomfortable like that, it needs to be addressed and corrected NOW.Good luck & be safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted May 3, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 3, 2008 No this is not rape, not anywhere near that. He nips nipples sometimes hard and sometimes stops a minute or so after I say stop Or he tickles me he's the most wonderful man, and it's just the nipping. Maybe I should get a newspaper and train him like I trained the dog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members PanickedVanity Posted May 4, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 No this is not rape, not anywhere near that. He nips nipples sometimes hard and sometimes stops a minute or so after I say stop Or he tickles me he's the most wonderful man, and it's just the nipping. Maybe I should get a newspaper and train him like I trained the dog Mine bites too! It's really annoying, even though I know it's all in fun I don't think he gets that it hurts... I think I'll get a spritz bottle of water to use on him. "Keep doing that and I'm going to ruin your blow out!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted May 4, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 Mine bites too! It's really annoying, even though I know it's all in fun I don't think he gets that it hurts... I think I'll get a spritz bottle of water to use on him. "Keep doing that and I'm going to ruin your blow out!"Lol Madeira, I can see it now.. I'm telling ya the boys need their teeth filed. Mine does it in fun too and when he gets going, the hornier he gets the sharper the nips. Then the sorer my nips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 4, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 4, 2008 for some reason my nips have never really been that sensitive, so when he clamps down hard, it does not hurt me,i actually get sensation for once. now the underside of my breast..OMG super sensitive. he gives me light nips there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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