Please Eveyone On This Board Read This, Comment

[crossroads123]

I have just received a very disturbing pm from another board member that Howard has left the board. I am extremely sorry that he or any other member would resign. I will be making contact with him in an effort to convince him to come Home were HE BELONGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

My job takes me away from home and my computer for days/weeks at a time so don't ever think I'm mad if I don't respond immediately. I am a retired Command Sergeant Major and believe me my hide is a hell'va lot thicker than that!!! Besides if you ever offend me you won't have to wonder about it, I"ll come down on you with Both barrels!!!!!!!!!!

I consider everyone on here as my friend, friends talk, discuss, argue, fight, but fiends NEVER turn their back on you. We are all just human beings and we all get our feathers ruffled from time to time, but as friends we need to move past that and put it behind us. I hope everyone will enjoy their time on this board and open and honestly comment on the topics with out fear of offending someone: we all are offended by something. I enjoy being on this board and try to comment when I can and share any knowledge or opinion I might have. We all are different and everyone knows what they say about opinions.

I will once again be contacting Howard in an effort to convince him to return HOME, for that's how I feel about this board it's home. We openly discuss things many can't discuss with any one not even the person the see naked on a regular bases. I am so sorry for any hurt feelings or problems any of this might have caused that surely was NOT my intention. I hope we can all get along and enjoy this part of our life and time together. Life is to be treasured and time is short. Thank you for your time and attention I hope everyone reads this and I invite any and all comments.

Thank you, Chuck.

[Mikayla1]

Chuck,

Thanks for your words and your concern. Occassionally, members leave the board and do not return - and that is sad but it does happen. Life takes over, things happen, people find less time for 'internet surfing' and such. We are sad to see it happen, but it does.

Also, sometimes members are 'encouraged' to leave the board - they may not be a good fit for TooTimid -it could be due to their posts, aggression toward other members, not following the board rules, or any other important factor. It is not something that has been done lightly - and it does not happen often. It is a hard decision to exclude anyone - especially on a board with so many differing opinions. If it happens, there are good reasons.

You mention the chance of getting offended and offending. We do not want anyone here to be offended, but it does happen - you are correct in that statement. However, if a person (not necessarily Howard) continues to be offensive - then they do not belong here. The goal is for this to be a learning experience - a sharing experience - and a place to come when we need help. For that reason, sometimes people leave - or are encouraged to leave -for the betterment of the board.

No need to apologize Chuck. Thanks for the post.

[blueberry]

I considered myself very lucky when I found this forum about 6 months ago. Although I am not an “active” member, I spent hours and hours (and hours) going through various topics, reading what other members wrote, experiences they shared, tips they gave, questions they asked and answers and advices that were given to them. I have found answers to many of my questions, even questions I didn’t know I have! I have learned so much, about myself, first of all. About giving, about compromise, commitment, growing up, even love. Not to mention the Sex advices! It was a beautiful experience for me. And Howard was a big part of it! I have spent more nights than I can remember reading his posts alone. And I grew to respect him very much.

This is a BIG loss for this forum.

I emailed Howard and told him more or less what I wrote here, after I read that he was thinking whether he should participate any longer on this forum, thinking he chose to leave TooTimid.

I am very disappointed and very sorry to see that ALL of his posts (more than 3000!) have been erased. I feel like the pleasure and joy of learning from them have been denied to me!

blueberry

[triedntru]

Okay. I know that I am a fairly new member here, but I just wanted to say that we need to be careful. I can see this as becoming a much larger ordeal than is warranted. I'm not saying that Howard wasn't very beneficial in the advice he gave. Yes, I did read a lot of the posts that he did, however, not all of them. But according to Rob and others he had been making it a less conductive area for the purpose of the forum, and that is to learn, share, love, and have fun. We come in here to ask questions and that is wonderful, but if there is someone that is causing discord then they should be talked to. Howard was repeatedly counseled by the admins. Please give Rob and the others respect for making a difficult decision. I seriously doubt that it was made without a lot of thought and discussions. If I have stepped out of line, I apologize. I really hate to see this get completely blown out of porportion.

[Rob]

Okay. I know that I am a fairly new member here, but I just wanted to say that we need to be careful. I can see this as becoming a much larger ordeal than is warranted. I'm not saying that Howard wasn't very beneficial in the advice he gave. Yes, I did read a lot of the posts that he did, however, not all of them. But according to Rob and others he had been making it a less conductive area for the purpose of the forum, and that is to learn, share, love, and have fun. We come in here to ask questions and that is wonderful, but if there is someone that is causing discord then they should be talked to. Howard was repeatedly counseled by the admins. Please give Rob and the others respect for making a difficult decision. I seriously doubt that it was made without a lot of thought and discussions. If I have stepped out of line, I apologize. I really hate to see this get completely blown out of porportion.

Thank you! We have the interests of the board in mind, not any individual person. I recognize that some of you might not be hearing the full story. I see the full picture. I see all the feedback that comes in from members as well as people that just pass by the board.

You have put your trust into the admins to make decisions that will make this board a better place. Not everyone will agree with all of our decisions. With all of the different personalities on the board I do not expect everyone to agree with me. Decisions are made for what we think is for the betterment of the board. I will not compromise my standards for anyone. Not one person is above the code and conduct for what we expect from our members.

For new people reading this... this was not a quick rush to judgement. I simply cannot say that enough.

Rob

[littlemissnonamegirl]

Well said Rob.

Howard did in fact give some great advice, and he was a great contributor to the board...but let us not forget that there are many reasons people come and go... and we do have MANY educators still around who are wonderful (mikayla, tyger, pappy, etc.)

thanks to everyone who has helped.

you are all awesome.

[Tyger]

Thanks littlemissnoname.......we appreciate the support!

I don't want to dredge things up, but, decisions had to be made for the better of the board. He had a lot of great advice, and that will be missed. Feel free to pass on the knowledge that you learned from him to other posters But I support & respect Rob's decision, which was very hard one to make.

Let's just choose to move on from this, and try to have some fun, positive input, and learn some more about one of our favorite things: SEX!!!!

[jesso]

Howard was a big part of this board. There's no denying that, nor his educational contributions. But while he was a great educator, I do believe he wasn't great at understanding TONE and SENSITIVITY, which is a major part of understanding the vast array of personalities on this board. Frankly he appeared to not know when to NOT argue for the sake of arguing. There have been many threads where the tone of the posts changed rapidly based on him over reacting or misinterpreting what a simple subject/sentence was reflecting.

There are many other people on this board who are wonderful educators as well. The best part of this board is that there are always new people right around the corner, new information and experiences waiting to be shared. I hope all of you reading who feel uneasy by this situation can appreciate that Rob would not make this decision lightly. This is a community here and we're all trying to look out for the bigger picture. I wish Howard the best of luck in all of his endeavours.

[Mikayla1]

I definitely appreciate all the comments on this thread. Of course Howard was a big part of this board, he was here before I was here, and it seems like I have been here forever!

It is good to know that the remaining members, moderators and such are also appreciated. This board revolves around NO ONE PERSON - it takes all of us, in one way or another, to make this board successful. While some may post a lot, others a little, and some not at all, we all have something important and worthwhile to say. I am constantly amazed at how much more I learn here on the board. I may be the 'sex educator' here - but I learn just as much from all of you, as you hopefully are learning from me. That is a tremendous thing!

As I stated before, and I believe it bears repeating, this decision was NOT MADE LIGHTLY! It was NOT MADE HASTILY - it was a long process. I for one am glad that there are people here who are looking out for the betterment of the board - I find that comforting - and I hope all of you do too!

[pappyld04]

littlemissnoname I do appreciate the educator status that was attached but like everyone else here hopefully I am here more to learn and share my experiences where I feel they may help others. I think Mikayla can attest to my lack of seeing myself as any kind of expert in this area. She and I had a faltering communication when I first found this forum and I instantly told her that I do not consider myself an expert in this area. If something I have seen or done could possibly help another I will not hesitate to share it with others here. I think we have lost a very intelligent member who has made a lot of contribution to this board but that is something I have no say in. Howard and I started off on a bad note but after some time we came to see that personal wars aren't the way to operate. If we chose to agree or disagree on any subject the results were there for all to see. I would like to think that every person here is capable of thinking for themselves, and I do believe this! I did not catch the whole picture in this matter so I cannot say one way or the other whether it was a justified result. Regardless I know for a fact that we have lost a valued member!

[Zildjian]

omg..I just don't know what to say! I too loved Howard's posts and am sad to see them all gone. sigh. I am a member of lots of other forums and even tho I know this happens all the time, for whatever reason, which I respect, I am still shocked when it happens.I have abandonment issues -- I don't like it when people leave! Howard was one of the reasons I joined! double sigh. I will get over it and someone will take his place (Iha comes to mind) in the "who would you do" thread and life will go on. Howard, wherever you are, I hope our paths cross again.

[masquedxangel]

I noticed Howard had a lot of good information, but his presentation was terrible. He would educate in a way that made the one he was educating feel inadequate, even stupid, and that makes people defensive. So I can see why this decision may have been made, from what little I know. Besides, the admin knows what they're doing so I don't even know why I'm bothering to comment. ^_-

[ToyQueen]

I'm with Mandie on this one. Rob made a decision in the best way he could, taking into account what is best for all concerned.

If this was Rob's decision, I will stand by him---no questions asked.

[synirr]

I agree with Mandie as well.

[masquedxangel]

This is because Mandie is always right. -sage nod-

-glances at username-

...oh wait...

Heehee.

[pappyld04]

I know this may look argumentative but I think his career may play into his presentation here. The man does argue for a living. Not trying to take away from Rob here but I do think we lost something here. It may be difficult to find another man who is willing to state things in the same way.

[synirr]

I am disappointed to see that all his posts have been deleted. I think there's a wealth of knowledge there that has been lost to the community, and that's a shame. However, I know for a fact that some newer members were being made to feel uncomfortable, and were in fact so put off that they stopped frequenting the forum entirely, based entirely on Howard's posts. I know this because they were friends of mine to whom I recommended the forum, and they told me exactly why they chose to stop posting. Nothing against Howard, but his presentation could definitely use some work... this forum isn't a courtroom.

[thurisas]

As someone who has been on the receiving end of some of Howard's condesending remarks and borderline insults, I find myself oddly sad about his leaving. He was a wealth of information and with that information gone, the forum does suffer somewhat for it. I have to say, however, that the idea of the forum is to provide a comfortable place for all people to open up and talk about sex. Howard did not support that comfort just for the simple fact that many of his posts were taken badly by others regardless of how he meant it. Perception is reality. For the most part I personally stopped reading his posts altogether for a few months. Were I a new forum member reading through the past posts as we often suggest people do, I think it is better that some of those posts be gone. I applaud Rob and his difficult decision to do what is right for the forum. We did lose information, but I think there is a return on the comfort level others will feel once things have finally calmed down.

Randy.