Anger

[dscn]

hey guys I am pissed I don't if I should be but I am fuming so here I go last week was my vacation and wife's period started on the weekend before my vacation happend so her period would end in the middle of my vacation. The reason I am having a vacation on my own is she had went to bermuda her friend invited her and it was free she ask if she should go and I said yes why not.

So before I start my wife sex drive is not as active as mine and I love my sex. So she took off the monday which was nice and I cooked her a nice meal and we enjoyed each other's company. No sex but I was not upset. We had went to the store and bought some pop rocks and she said she was going to give me some head on wednesday with it that did not happend and thursday she had lots of things to do so I got upset when she did not come home and she said she will be home after 8 I waited she did not show up. So now I am pissed she did not come home till after 10. So I went out to mcdonald to get a mcflurry I was so piss all week no sex no head no nothing. Please tell me if I am overreacting.

I was so fucking horny pardon my language. So saturday nothing so in the night I just got drunk I drank alot of hard liquer So we went to bed and in the middle of the night I woke up and started to masturbate and I guess she heard me and she got up and started give me some head and she got on top. Then sunday night I got some head only because I had to ask her what happen to the pop rock and the head so that was my vacation real shitty.

so tonight monday we went to her cousin house and she asked how was your vacation I said real shitty so when we were going how she said I thought you said it was alright early in the week I said it was some what alright so tonight we went to the movies and came home and I just found out I just lost my mother fucking phone at the movies WHAT THE FUCK.f After we got home she said if I want to have some sex before she goes to bed I said no just go to bed. So all week I have being taking care of my own business I you no what I am saying I am So mad all week no sex money is tight so I could not travel anywhere and all I needed was just a little sex to brighten up my vacation I wish I could have just went to work I would have had more fun there

sorry for the long post guys I am just so horny and longing for a womans touch I had so much thought of going elsewhere to get it but I said no I will do it my self but WHAT THE FUCK.

[synirr]

So... you're mad that you didn't get laid more?

Hmmmm-kay.

Sorry your vacation was shitty and all, but I'm not sure that would be my reaction to the situation. It's not like she's obligated to have sex with you and has been neglecting her duties.

[angelkisses98]

i have a question...it seems to me like you put all this sex on your wife.."she does not give me" "she hasent.." um...did you try and seduce her...and yes cooking her meal was nice, and im sure she appreciated it..i know i would.

however, in the entire post, i did not see once where you stated you approached her? and getting drunk is not a way to handle it? have you tried talking to her outside of the bedroom about this?? maybe she dident realize, maybe she just wasent in the mood? i dont know, but neither will you unless you talk to her.

[Amylynn920]

Yeah it is disappointing when you want to have sex with you SO but... as the other's stated, what did you do to make this a fantastic time for her too? If this was a "planned" event which it seems it sounds like it was. Did you buy some pop rocks so you could go down on her too??

Sex is a two way deal. I don't know why she isn't that up for sex, maybe there is something else going on with her.

But is sounds like you're disappointed and upset that it didn't go the way you wanted. Sometimes life doesn't. It's not her fault that she got her period.

Why not try and make a date night and plan to give her some attention too?

[dscn]

Thanks guys for all your thoughts . when she is on her period she does not want to be touch and when it finishes she is usually ready to go and we work different shifts i work midnight and she works days so she usually says she is in the mood when she gets home from work and every time we have sex i am the one 90% of the time always intiating it so the fact I am home and nothing was a little disappointing. I don't mind intiating it but the one week I am off is a little disappointing

[Tyger]

Ok, let me get this straight, you are sounding like you're having a tantrum cuz she didn't have sex with you when she said she would? Well, yes, that's disappointing, but hardly to get overly pissed off about.

Loosing a cell phone is irritating, but shifting that anger to her cuz she wouldn't give it up isn't the thing to do either, which, to me, is what you sound like you did.

She is use to you initiating sex. You said so yourself. So, if this is the "norm" in your house, it's unfair of you to think that she will just all of a sudden, like a flash of lightning, change. Did you try to seduce her? Rub her back, shoulders, tell her directly, something like "I'm going to take you home and make love with you all night long"? When you do have sex with her, do you pay special attention to her, or is it about getting your rocks off? Do you try and make it fun, or just about the quick gratification? Sex is adult playtime, as well as the time to bond with your lover, not just a physical release.

You said that her sex drive is noticably lower than yours. So, why are you so pissed off that she isn't jumping your bones at every turn? Why is this all of a sudden an issue now? Have you talked with her about wanting more sex? AWAY FROM THE BEDROOM, and not when you're horny and pissed off? Coming across as pissy, having a fit, and blaming her won't be the way to approach this.

It sounds like she does try to accomodate you when she realizes you want some. Like how she helped you out when she awoke to you masturbating, or when you asked about the Pop Rocks.

She may be a woman that isn't fully comfortable with her sexuality, or comfortable with being the aggessor. She's been this way thru your entire relationship, I am assuming? If so, and you've never fully addressed this, until she knows that you're not happy with how the sexlife is at a stand still, then this is your issue alone. Nobody can fix a problem that their not aware of.

Just making her aware of it is a first step. However, if she's not use to being the aggressor or initiator. She will need to be taught and guided HOW to do this. This will take time. This will be an effort on both your parts. And, may I suggest that you work on your communication skills with her. Instead of keeping quiet, and getting yourself all pissed off, talk with her about how you're feeling. Then discuss what you can BOTH do to help fix the situation.

Best Wishes.

[cmwise1]

When i am on my period sex is not as tempting as usual...I just want to be cuddled. Maybe more understanding, more cuddling, more communication might have led to more sex. As was already pointed out, she is not obligated to have sex with you. It is to your advantage to help her get excited about it because you both will have a better time.

[chloegirl]

That "service me wench" attitude might be ok sometimes but if that's your normal way you are getting ready for a long dry spell. Maybe she feels like she is just having to do another daily chore with that "she owes me sex" monkey on her back. If she feels like it's always all about you just getting your rocks off and you're not putting any effort into seducing her, slowly tantalyzing her, and making her feel that HER pleasure gives you pleasure too she very well may start losing interest (believe me I know....been there myself till I set the record straight) . It's a 2-way street my friend...give and you shall recieve in spades!

[pappyld04]

It's hard to see all of this matter in your post but mis-communication seems to be the root of the whole problem then anger further clouds the issue at hand. You even said that she offered on one night and you turned her down. If the tone you used was anywhere near the tone I got from your post you may be doing a lot of fisting for yourself. Every woman is different on her period and some have serious issues that go above and beyond any anger on this matter. If she has serious cramps throughout her period you may be lucky to get even an offer. That's more than some people get. If you two sat and talked without the anger I think you could get on the same level of thought. It's a lot easier than stewing on the issue and the outcome is much more enjoyable!

[Natalie]

I also got the impression that you seem to expect a lot out of her without making it enjoyable for her in return, and that you're not communicating the issue well to her.

If my boyfriend got pissed off at me because I didn't want to go down on him or whatever else (especially with no offer to reciprocate), I'd tell him straight up "I'm your girlfriend, not your personal sex toy." And that may be what she's feeling like.

I know this has been said before, but it's not an obligation. It's something for the both of you to enjoy. If her sex drive isn't as high as yours, you need to talk about it calmly and come up with a compromise that will make you both happy.

If she's not in the mood and you really want to get your groove on, suggest taking a bath together or something. Have some foreplay. A lot of it. Think of her favorite thing(s) in the bedroom and offer to do those. Tease her and lead up to it, don't just come home and be like "OK, I want sex now." When you two are in the kitchen making dinner, swat her butt, nibble her ear, get down on your knees and kiss her stomach, and things like that. Push her favorite 'on buttons.' Make it playful and about her too, and you're more likely to get a response you're happy with. Then mention you have a pleasant surprise in mind for her later, and then follow through on it with something that she really likes. (Especially if it's something you're not as fond of and don't do very often. It shows to her that you're taking her interests into consideration also, and she'll likely be more willing to do stuff that you like that she doesn't.)

And, if she's on her period and just isn't in the mood and isn't going to be in the mood (because often periods are the stark opposite of sexytime), why not do something else? Vacations are about enjoying yourself, and a couple days without sex shouldn't ruin that. You mentioned that money is tight, but you don't necessarily have to spend much in order to do something fun. Have a movie night, go for a run together (or a walk if you don't like to run), etc.

[dscn]

So I had a talk with my wife to see what's going on and a whole lot came out basically she does not want to have sex she is not in the mood.

I told her what you guys had said how it was my fault and I should have initate it and I apologize. She then said that's not the problem she is just stressed she just got a new car and she does not like it and she is trying to get what she wants and she is upset at our work schedule because I am not home in the evenings so she is trying to keep busy. She said right now she is just gonna do her thing it's about her right now and she also wants to sell the house or upgrade it because she has lived here longer than I have we bought it from her mom because this is my first house I was not too keen on the idea I wanted to enjoy it but now I told her if she wants to put it up for sale I am with it if that will get rid of some of the stress.

she says it's not me she has some issues to sort out and she is not in the mood so I told her that's fine I will do it my self and do what you have to to sort it out. I will just focus all that energy on my car and sports. I told her I will not force it on her or get mad I also told her if she had told me this before I would not have being so upset. so that's were we are now. I will be there for her and i still love her.

[angelkisses98]

dsn..im glad you were able to get some things out there. also, i cant speak for everyone personally, but i have a feeling we were all coming from the same place on this. i did not mean to come across and make you feel worse by telling you it was all your fault. i was just trying to ask a few questions to get a feel for the situation. for all i knew you did those things, but it was not in your post. you see what im trying to say??

anywho, im glad you 2 talked, just be there for her and listen when she needs to talk

[12GAUGE]

hey guys I am pissed I don't if I should be but I am fuming so here I go last week was my vacation and wife's period started on the weekend before my vacation happend so her period would end in the middle of my vacation. The reason I am having a vacation on my own is she had went to bermuda her friend invited her and it was free she ask if she should go and I said yes why not.

So before I start my wife sex drive is not as active as mine and I love my sex. So she took off the monday which was nice and I cooked her a nice meal and we enjoyed each other's company. No sex but I was not upset. We had went to the store and bought some pop rocks and she said she was going to give me some head on wednesday with it that did not happend and thursday she had lots of things to do so I got upset when she did not come home and she said she will be home after 8 I waited she did not show up. So now I am pissed she did not come home till after 10. So I went out to mcdonald to get a mcflurry I was so piss all week no sex no head no nothing. Please tell me if I am overreacting.

I was so fucking horny pardon my language. So saturday nothing so in the night I just got drunk I drank alot of hard liquer So we went to bed and in the middle of the night I woke up and started to masturbate and I guess she heard me and she got up and started give me some head and she got on top. Then sunday night I got some head only because I had to ask her what happen to the pop rock and the head so that was my vacation real shitty.

so tonight monday we went to her cousin house and she asked how was your vacation I said real shitty so when we were going how she said I thought you said it was alright early in the week I said it was some what alright so tonight we went to the movies and came home and I just found out I just lost my mother fucking phone at the movies WHAT THE FUCK.f After we got home she said if I want to have some sex before she goes to bed I said no just go to bed. So all week I have being taking care of my own business I you no what I am saying I am So mad all week no sex money is tight so I could not travel anywhere and all I needed was just a little sex to brighten up my vacation I wish I could have just went to work I would have had more fun there

sorry for the long post guys I am just so horny and longing for a womans touch I had so much thought of going elsewhere to get it but I said no I will do it my self but WHAT THE FUCK.

HEY FUCKHEAD...get over it you pussy. Maybe you should go home and cry to your Mommy how mistreated you are. Grow up kid!!

[dscn]

who the fuck are you talking to faggot. who the fuck you think you are PUSSY. really how old is this post you are looking at you mother fucking pussy. Go fuck yourself ass hole next time mind your own fucking business. Fucking faggot.

[Mikayla1]

who the fuck are you talking to faggot. who the fuck you think you are PUSSY. really how old is this post you are looking at you mother fucking pussy. Go fuck yourself ass hole next time mind your own fucking business. Fucking faggot.

This is VERY inappropriate. Both 12 Gauge and DSCN need to remember that we are respectful of ALL members here, we do not call people names. We also do not judge people for their activities, DSCN, liking anal sex does NOT make you 'gay' to say it nicer than you did.

I am warning both of you, and if this continues, you may be booted from the site. Let's all play nice now!

[dscn]

who does he think he is calling me names this bitch don't know me and don't want to now me like that next time he should keep his fucking comments to him self because my problems and his is totally different and where does this bitch get the nerves where. where the fuck does he get off. My situation with my wife is not what he or any one one should be worried about what I expect from her. so for this asshole to come at me like that fuck that if it's a war this guy wants bring it. THIs FUCKER WENT TOO FAR AND i WILL FINISH IT h0W OLD IS THAT POST IF YOU HAD READ THE POST ASSHOLE. hOW DARE YOU WHO F#####ING WIHT THIS GUY JUST PISSED ME RIGHT i DID NOT START THIS BUT i WILL DAMN SURE END IT AND THAT'S ALL i WLL SAY ABOUT THAT AND IF HE HAS SOMETHING ELSE TO JUST BRING IT. I DON'T RUN FROM A FIGHT ANYTIME ANYWHERE BRING IT. THIS CAT WENT TOO FAR TOOO F@@ING FAR.

[cowgirl]

Come on stop and think about for a min. He just wants a reaction out of you and he is getting one. Stop and count to 10. its not worth it...

[dscn]

ohhhhh I am usually a nice and quiet guy but this son of a bitch took it too far and I refuse to back down he wants it I will bring it anytime anyday what ever he wants to do it ain't nothing but a chicken wing we can do this. guy just got soo fired up right now.

[cowgirl]

Here is an email I got today it may help you....

Law of the Garbage Truck

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!'

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you.

Don't take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...

Love the people who treat you right.

Pray for the ones who don't.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a blessed, garbage-free day!

[dscn]

thank you for that it brought a smile to my pissed off face.

[mystofpric]

Look love we have enjoyed your presence on the board and we don't want to see anything happen. I will point out that he has gone through all of the more upset posts through out the past year and brought them back, just deep breath and let it go. he got the rise he wanted out of you just keep breathing and ignore his lames attempts to upset you.

[dscn]

I apologise for the strong language but this guy caught me at a bad time right now and he had to get it no sleep and car troubles not a good time right now But i will control my temper and abrasive language. MY APOLOGIES TO EVERONE

[cowgirl]

Your welcome. I hope it help a little.

[Mikayla1]

As a moderator here, I want to once again point out that we do not want to continue this sort of verbal attack on ANY member. While I definitely understand the anger here, I think it is important to try and remain calm. It does appear that 12Gauge is starting up some trouble, and I will most certainly take care of that. In the meantime, can we just let it go and be nice to one another?

Seriously, I would hate for anyone to get booted over this!

[synirr]

dscn, have you considered anger management? Bad times or not, seems like you could use some counseling to learn to control that temper better. Being so easily infuriated is bad not only for those around you, but for yourself as well -- it can raise your blood pressure and knock years off your life. Do yourself a favor and learn some more effective ways of coping with your emotions. Take care of yourself.

Besides, someone you don't even really know (I assume) called you a name on the internet. Take a step back... is it really worth all the drama? It's just plain childish, and I feel perfectly justified in saying that even being several years your junior.