Women Who Entrap Men By Getting Pregnant

[Tyger]

OK, so, we have a friend, who's been in an off again, on again relationship for over 3 yrs now. They make each other miserable, and everyone around them too. They have a 2 yr old boy together.

He has a DD from a previous relationship that went bad too, and he never gets to see his DD (because he's too damn lazy to go 2 states over to see DD).

Anyway, basically, this couple stays together because of the convenience factor. He's cheated on her, she knows it. He *thinks* she's cheated, though not sure. He started really pulling away from her about 3 mos ago, stringing along a new woman, to which his live-in found out, and called the new love-interest several times and insulted the new one. Well, the New One is like 3 states away, so he hasn't physically cheated.

Lo and behold, the Live-in is now pregnant, and, OMG, she's as far along as the same time when they had broken up briefly, and then got back together (cuz this man's lazy and is very convenience oriented).

All of us, including the New One, (who knows that he's with this other woman, and has basically told him either leave her or leave me alone), that the Live-In would probably wind up pregnant if HE didn't take precautions. Of course, she was just on The Pill, so that's really easy to "OOPS" forget. Yeah. He KNEW that she was like this, and didn't wear condoms, again, because he's lazy!!!

WTF is wrong with some of these people??? First, why entrap a man with having a baby? Many men would just walk off and say to hell with her. But, a lot of southern men, try to stick it out and stay with the woman, especially when there's a baby involved, cuz that's the Right Thing To Do. And the women KNOW it, so they do this, not only keeping someone leashed to them by trapping them, but screwing up the upcoming child's life too. WTF is wrong here???

Maybe I'm too independent or mature, but, if my DH was cheating on me, openly, first, I wouldn't be sleeping with him. If, for some freak reason, we DID sleep together, CONDOMS would be a MUST. Then, there's my whole philosophy of "If you don't want to be with me, then freakin' leave". Yeah, it may hurt, and the ego may be shot to hell, but I want someone that's with me for ME, not because I had a baby brewin'. In fact, before I got married, each man I'd been with knew that if, for some reason, I got pregnant, I would NOT marry them until much, much later. I like to know a man is with me for ME, not what I have monetarily, or because of a baby.

He tried whining to DH, which is his Best Friend, and my hubby told him that he was a lazy SOB, and that he should've seen this coming, and it was his own damn fault. DH actually came home and THANKED me for being a woman that hated to be a part of drama. I admit, I love hearing about it (it's a woman thing), and am big enough to admit that, but, as far as causing, or encouraging personal drama, I say FUCK THAT!!! It was so uncharacteristic of DH to say something like that that I looked at him and said "You're drunk, aren't you." DH laughed!!

I have noticed that the majority of women that do this are very controlling, have low self-esteems, and/or are very young.

My lesson I wish to pass on to women that think that helping to keep a man by getting pregnant is this:

DON'T!!! 9.99999999 times out of 10, if the relationship is sooo bad, that he is thinking of leaving, let him, don't try to hang onto someone that wants out. It's sooo not worth it!!! You can find someone even BETTER. Why hurt another innocent life to try and keep someone that doesn't really want to be with you, and will probably end up resenting the hell out of you, and with good reason.

Men: If you're thinking of leaving, and your SO is controlling, young, has a low self-esteem, immature, or all of the above, for gawd's sakes, either stop sleeping with her, or insist on using condoms if you MUST have sex. A little bit of extra safety for a few minutes can save you, her, and an innocent baby a lifetime of trouble and heartache!!

[ToyQueen]

I'm right there with you, Tyger!!!!!

[pappyld04]

OH DAM GIRL I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!! (Sorry Tom Cat)! Not only do I despise this sort of behavior but the people (adults not babies) that are involved. Maybe I misunderstood your post but are thinking (as I am) that this baby is from another man while they were seperated?? I learned a long time ago that any girl that thinks I will be fighting her X(?) for her is sadly mistaken. I tell them that all ties must be severed and up front before I ever get involved. I don't mind at all if they choose to remain friends but love interests are to be headed off at the pass. And I have had to deal with a few Xs thast thought they could just jump on in. The girl I'm with was married but seperated when we met and after a few times of meeting him he decided that he was going to kiss his wife before he left. She was sitting on a barstool and immediately said NO and covered her face with her hands and even had 1 foot in his stomach before I stepped in and told him that he would not be doing anything unless she OKed it first. Had she chosen to oblige him she would be driven home and never seen again but I'm not about to let him think that he's going to come between us. No sense her being with me if she's after another. There's another side to this that I didn't see you mention and that would be the girls who have babies just to get the welfare checks for 18+/- years. May not be the same story of your post but it happens a lot here!

[pappyld04]

BTW, my hatred also runs to the guys who fuck anything that can't outrun them and leave the girl and baby to suffer in the wake!

[Tyger]

Thanks Pappy! LOL

I was unclear, and for that I apologize.

As far as it's known, the baby is probably the Friend's, and not some other guy's, but, there's been rumors that she's cheated. But you know how rumors go! LOL So, we're not sure. If Friend was smart (and he's obviously not), he'll insist on a DNA test.

[pappyld04]

It may be my way of thinking that made me ask that one. Happens every day and I hope your friend takes care of any doubts IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER. And more for the babies sake not his own! Rumors belong in the same group as opinions and assholes. Everyone has one, some just smell worse than others!

[angelkisses98]

they never learn *shakes head*

[TonboMidori]

Preach on, sister!!

Though seriously, these types feul the daytime talk shows and keep lots of people employed. We should thanks them for keeping some jobs in the country.

[whiskeywoman]

Tyger and Pappy, you guys are like my favorite people right now!

"BTW, my hatred also runs to the guys who fuck anything that can't outrun them and leave the girl and baby to suffer in the wake! "

You need to explain this to my youngest daughters father, he thinks he should not have to own up to his responsability.

He thinks I got pregnant just to keep him.

Wich is simply not the case.

Yeah, I loved him, yeah i wanted him to stick around.

But the truth is, I was actually trying NOT to get pregnant.

My choice in birth control was obviously a poor one, because it failed.

As soon as I found out he was off sleeping with some other girl, his ass was history baby or no.

As for how women can do this, I have absolutely no clue.

The only thing I can think of is the whole co dependancy relationship situation.

I have seen women go to some serious extremes to keep their men.

I sometimes think that they really must have forgotten about pregnancy.

The cravings, the morning sickness, the bloating, the labor, the delivery and the lack of sleep thereafter.

Raising kids is hard work.

I know all the parents on the board will nod their head in agreement on that one, and f they don't.. Yalls need your head examined.

I simply have no sympathy for these women, or men, because THEY allow it to happen as well, because they wont use a damn condom.

[Amylynn920]

I think women do it, because they feel they now have a reason to be bonded with that man. Or that if they have his baby, things will change.

I despise this behavior also, and agree with all of you and what you've posted.

What really upsets me is the poor child, who's smack dab in the middle of two irresponsible people.

[sun_flower969]

I think it is a desperate and immature move for any woman to do that it is very sad...

[pappyld04]

Tyger and Pappy, you guys are like my favorite people right now!

"BTW, my hatred also runs to the guys who fuck anything that can't outrun them and leave the girl and baby to suffer in the wake! "

You need to explain this to my youngest daughters father, he thinks he should not have to own up to his responsability.

He thinks I got pregnant just to keep him.

Wich is simply not the case.

Yeah, I loved him, yeah i wanted him to stick around.

But the truth is, I was actually trying NOT to get pregnant.

My choice in birth control was obviously a poor one, because it failed.

As soon as I found out he was off sleeping with some other girl, his ass was history baby or no.

As for how women can do this, I have absolutely no clue.

The only thing I can think of is the whole co dependancy relationship situation.

I have seen women go to some serious extremes to keep their men.

I sometimes think that they really must have forgotten about pregnancy.

The cravings, the morning sickness, the bloating, the labor, the delivery and the lack of sleep thereafter.

Raising kids is hard work.

I know all the parents on the board will nod their head in agreement on that one, and f they don't.. Yalls need your head examined.

I simply have no sympathy for these women, or men, because THEY allow it to happen as well, because they wont use a damn condom.

If I ever have the chance to encounter your daughter's sperm donor you can bet he'll get an earful about it! The guy has no clue what he's missing by being a snapperhead! I think Tyger hit the nail right on the head when she said it was all about convenience and laziness for both of her friends(?) You know my mother used to tell us that when Birth Control first hit the market they tested it on some of those welfare types who have 5 or 6 kids that may be 9 months apart. After a few months these girls came back and were all pregnant again. The doctors were shaking their heads when one finally asked if there were any missed pills. One girl pipes up and says the only problem she was having with them is that they would fall out every time she stood up!

[ohshelly]

Wow, The whole situation is sad, but the poor little kid is gonig to be the one who really suffers from their selfish and lazy behavior.

[ohshelly]

And this is the second baby? They didn't learn the first time?

[pappyld04]

She may be thinking that since it worked the first time she'd do it again and see if he'd stick around!

[mystofpric]

I have to say that I totally agree! My little sister (then 17) allowed her self to get pregnant (when you don't go on BC and don't insist on condoms you let it happen) because he told her he would marry her. Now he's in jail, and she and the (beautiful and almost a year old) live with our dad on his couch. Now don't get me wrong I love my neice but what happened was wrong and a mistake. My niece Nevaeh is the one who is going to suffer for it. Sure my little sister loses a little of her social life (my mom is so desperate to spend time with Nevaeh that she'll take her any time) but my niece is being raised in a three bedroom house with 7 people, 1 dog, and 2 cats living in it.

For the record my little sister and my niece had their own suite of rooms in this house but my little sister thought she'd show my mom and moved out. opps. her bad.

[ladylove]

Desperate people will do desperate things..to bad the kids will pay the highest price