Oral Interlude?

[OPL Laundry Goddess]

I think this question is aimed at the men, but women can answer for their men if they have solid answers… I cannot think of a delicate way to phrase this question, so I’m gonna throw it out there straight. What happens to your erection when the guy spends time going south?

I’m beginning to see a new tendency with our men in the bedroom. Seems as if lately we get all hot and heavy into a sex session and the guy decides to go oral on one of the women, it steals his erection. Maybe it always was a problem and I just didn’t notice (though, really, how can you NOT notice?) I would think with all the moaning and groaning and "oh baby, that feels amazing," it would be enough stimulation to hold the interest of that organ without its own brain.

I can only speak for myself, but when I perform oral on Temptress it totally heats me up. I am MORE excited and aroused and wet and ready for play. Not so with the men. Inevitably after oral (performed by their choice) they want “help” to get it back up again; usually in the form of reciprocal activity.

Not that I am opposed to oral, quite the contrary, but it can cause that “stop and question” reality check and not at the most convenient moment. I will presume if the guy chooses to go south, it must pleasure him in some way. When questioned here at home we got the answer, “I just get focused on the task at hand, besides, you can’t maintain an erection for an extended period of time, no one can.”

I don’t know if it is an age issue, a stamina issue, or an interest issue, but it really can affect the mood at times. Is this a challenge in your bedroom, and if so, how do you deal with it or compensate?

~LG

[sun_flower969]

I think this question is aimed at the men, but women can answer for their men if they have solid answers… I cannot think of a delicate way to phrase this question, so I’m gonna throw it out there straight. What happens to your erection when the guy spends time going south?

I’m beginning to see a new tendency with our men in the bedroom. Seems as if lately we get all hot and heavy into a sex session and the guy decides to go oral on one of the women, it steals his erection. Maybe it always was a problem and I just didn’t notice (though, really, how can you NOT notice?) I would think with all the moaning and groaning and "oh baby, that feels amazing," it would be enough stimulation to hold the interest of that organ without its own brain.

I can only speak for myself, but when I perform oral on Temptress it totally heats me up. I am MORE excited and aroused and wet and ready for play. Not so with the men. Inevitably after oral (performed by their choice) they want “help” to get it back up again; usually in the form of reciprocal activity.

Not that I am opposed to oral, quite the contrary, but it can cause that “stop and question” reality check and not at the most convenient moment. I will presume if the guy chooses to go south, it must pleasure him in some way. When questioned here at home we got the answer, “I just get focused on the task at hand, besides, you can’t maintain an erection for an extended period of time, no one can.”

I don’t know if it is an age issue, a stamina issue, or an interest issue, but it really can affect the mood at times. Is this a challenge in your bedroom, and if so, how do you deal with it or compensate?

~LG

I actually noticed this in the past. After he had been down on me for awhile I noticed his erection was almost gone. I felt like geez! Is it me, is it a hassle, a turn off? He actually gave me pretty much the same response. That he is focusing on me, he is aroused but without the direct stimulation he can't maintain a full erection the whole time. Does that make sense? I think it's true now after some doubt I will just start touching him after or go down on him etc. It doesn't take long for him to get "back up there" LOL Is it taking your H a long time to get back in the game? As women we are more emotional. We respond more to hearing and things that trigger emotions. Men are visual and need physical contact. That is why their genitals are on the outside. We internalize more. I mean I can have an orgasm via just "dry humping" (gross, sorry for lack of a better term) Not many men can do that! They need the direct penile stimulation! Also, My H is 34. I think it is normal FYI hope that helps!

[Guest eminatic]

my guy generally loses his erection when giving oral for a long period of time because he's concentrating so hard , but i always assumed it was normal. i usually do the same for him but only until his erection comes back and we can get down to other activities

[OPL Laundry Goddess]

I actually noticed this in the past... I think it is normal FYI hope that helps!

Actually, it does help. With help, they can get it back up pretty quick. Something like, "gone, but not forgotten," right? LOL I guess I just wonder what must be going through his/their brain, and you're right, maybe I am over thinking the whole thing... Any men want to chime in on this?

~LG

[Amylynn920]

I have the opposite happen, when Gsk is down there for a long time he comes up for air with a raging boner, and leaking alot of pre cum. I have asked him what is turning him on so much about it and he says it's seeing me getting so hot and into it, plus it turns him on.

ETA: I just asked GSK this question from a man's standpoint and he said he would not have a hard on if he didn't want to be doing it, or not enjoying it. And then basically asked me "If you weren't getting wet what would the reason be?" And I said for the same reasons.

Sorry if this hurts anyone it wasn't meant to, and that may very well be not what's happening with your men, but it is his answer.

[Amylynn920]

Iha, I agree. Gsk does also and has said many times, if I get nothing out of it, he gets nothing out of it. He is also much more erotic and emotional than I could ever be. But yes basically what you have said, he has voiced it too. Desire starts in the brain and moves outward.

[Tyger]

I've noticed this with my hubby too.

When we were first together, we'd go at it fast & furious. Nobody had a lot of TIME to loose much of anything except breath!

Now, I have asked him about that, and he's given the same response pretty much, that he's concentrate on my pleasure, that he gets gets a lot of pleasure doing it, but he doesn't get a raging hard on, but not like super hard. Due to concentration.

So, I guess it's normal!

[sun_flower969]

And Sunflower, I disagree strongly that women are more emotional than men. I feel my emotions deeply and sharply, and have multiple mood changes per hour. I may certainly be more in touch with my emotions than most guys, but guys have as many emotions as women.

Sorry Iha, don't misunderstand me! I didn't say that women are more emotional than men. We all have equal emotions I do not doubt that at all! I said women respond more to emotional things. For example a movie: Most (not all) women love a romantic drama while their man squirm in their seat hating it! Or even porn: from what I have read, most men (not all) like it to "get down to business" where as most women (not all) like a plot or storyline. I sure didn't mean to slight men in any way. We are all individuals and everyone is different in their emotional levels! Hell every month my levels skyrocket for about a week! I do think you are definitely more in touch with your emotions than most. That makes you exceptional!

[zakdad]

I am kinda like Iha. Sometimes it will stay hard as a rock and other times it goes slightly limp. I have noticed that when she is REALLY into it, I will get really hard and be ready for her as soon as she stops me! I have had times when my sinuses are bothering me while I am down there and I will be trying to keep breathing and it will go down. I know that sounds gross, but it happens from time to time! Too many years when I was younger sticking things up my nose, if you know what I mean and I have really bad sinus problems from that. Of course, she can barely blow on it and it will be back to full staft!(pun intended)

I love going down on her and will do it at the drop of a hat, but once in a while things will go through my mind while I am down there that will affect my erection. It is usually, is she going to get off, thinking of a different way of doing this or some silly shit that is still about sex! Not thinking about bills or life outside of our bedroom, but just silly shit that might run through my head!! Hope this helps some and yes, it seems to happen to all of us older guys once in a while anyway.

Peace,

Mark

[steely]

Dont worry ladies, we are just giving YOU all the attention. We dont think about keeping hard, we know you will give us a hand if needed .

Try a little more moaning, this may keep us hard and ready.

[Amylynn920]

I have to agree with Steely's responses and with Fun, it really will affect them if we're not into it. If they know we are not into it then they are not into it which goes back to what Gsk was saying. Men get off because we're getting off. Otherwise their mind is just elsewhere.

[zakdad]

I have to agree with Steely's responses and with Fun, it really will affect them if we're not into it. If they know we are not into it then they are not into it which goes back to what Gsk was saying. Men get off because we're getting off. Otherwise their mind is just elsewhere.

Amen, Sister! haha

Peace,

Mark

[cfhayback]

I am an oral sex enthusiast... and going down on a woman is such a HUGE turn on for me.

Now I know guys who are really NOT into the act (amazes me, but to each his own) and I suppose for them the "chore" of pleasing a woman could lead to de-arousal (not a word, I know). A guy I know actually went over a year without going down on his wife, because he was waiting for her to ask, and she was afraid to ask, because she worried that she would be asking him to do something he didn't want to... fucked up, huh?

I, like Aiden's man, also tend to get hyper-aroused, often leading to a wet spot on my end of the bed as well as hers.

[highlander]

It depends...some times it's erect others semi...I actually like to use this when I feel I'm about to cum and I'm not ready I actually will use oral as a way to extend activities and give my soldier a chance to recover...during that time I'm focused on turning her on...I'm not worried about maintaining an erection...if the oral is foreplay, and I'm getting the proper response, then my soldier is erect and waiting to cross the border

[spanky]

I love going down on my wife and it turns me on greatly. When I am going down on her it is all

about pleasing her and making her have the biggest orgasim she has ever had, I used to get very hard at first. But like other said I would get so into her and lose it. Now I have ED bad and need all the help I can just to get hard.

[thurisas]

It's an inconsistent thing with me. I can go down on Val and get a hard-on in no time flat. I can have a hard-on and keep it solid during the time "south". I have also had times when I got so concentrating on the task at hand that things went soft. The thing is that it does get back up after very little attention.

I also have to agree with sunflower to a degree. Women are more likely to wear their feelings on their sleeve. Seeing the decline of a man's erection during playtime would likely send the "Is it me?!?!?!" alarm off. For most guys, seeing a woman who wasn't as wet down there as she "should" be just means "oops, time to get the lube" not "is it me?!?!?!"

Randy.

[vanilla_bean]

Even though I don't really have anything to contribute, I have found this thread extremely interesting. Knowing what men (or at least the enlightened men here at TT) are thinking is very interesting. Thanks for the info.

[chloegirl]

Try a little more moaning, this may keep us hard and ready.

All very good points and we love hearing the guys point of view. Bottom line always comes back to responsiveness and connection, and it works both ways...you can tell if your partner is really getting into it (and you) or just going thru the motions and if they are aroused and really enjoying it, that will up your arousal and response too...then it's a win/win situation!

[Orlando]

I'm enjoying this discussion. I'm one of those who goes limp. (At least any more. I don't remember how I responded 10 years ago.) As I've gotten more experience I no longer think there is not a direct connection between physical arousal and sexual excitement. Lots of times, especially when a guy is younger, yeah, they can seem like pretty much the same thing. But as men get older it takes more stimulation to get and keep the physical arousal part even though the attraction and excitement are still there. The state of his penis is really not a good barometer of how emotionally aroused a guy is. So if your guy seems interested and seems to be enjoying sex with you, don't take it personally if his wick goes limp for a while.

[nosleepnmesa]

I honestly can say with my X he had a ragging hard on when he would come up. Although in the past with my previous X I think he was just to busy concentrating so much. I think it is pretty normal when men are giving oral to their SO, they are soo busy trying to please us that they tend to lose their erection but it seems to come right back extremely easily.

[jj53]

Actually, it does help. With help, they can get it back up pretty quick. Something like, "gone, but not forgotten," right? LOL I guess I just wonder what must be going through his/their brain, and you're right, maybe I am over thinking the whole thing... Any men want to chime in on this?

~LG

Ladies I don't know about other men but, I'm concentrating on giving Di as much pleasure as I can. Having an erection while I'm doing it is great but not important, my tongue works just fine with a limp cock to. Trust me every erection I get is important to me, I use Cialas, but if I loose a hardon while pleasing Di, which happens a lot, she's multi-orgasmic and I'm usually there for quite a while, it always seems to come back when she explodes all over me and starts begging for me to fill her up. If it doesn't get hard right away she enjoys watching me stroke it for her til it gets hard again. All I can say is if your guy is going down on you and the only thing you notice is that he lost his erection he's not doing it right .

[12GAUGE]

I have the opposite happen, when Gsk is down there for a long time he comes up for air with a raging boner, and leaking alot of pre cum. I have asked him what is turning him on so much about it and he says it's seeing me getting so hot and into it, plus it turns him on.

ETA: I just asked GSK this question from a man's standpoint and he said he would not have a hard on if he didn't want to be doing it, or not enjoying it. And then basically asked me "If you weren't getting wet what would the reason be?" And I said for the same reasons.

Sorry if this hurts anyone it wasn't meant to, and that may very well be not what's happening with your men, but it is his answer.

I would have to agree with Aiden here. When my last gf and I met it was instant attraction for both of us. Plus it had been about 2 years for me and 4 years for her since either of us had been laid. I remember the first time I went down on her. I was soooo hot for her and so wanted to make that excellent 1st impression I just went down on her with a vengence. I got a raging hardon and I stayed hard. Being the good girl she was she wouldn't allow me to fuck her but she felt obliged to reciprocate. And reciprocate she did....she was (and is) quite extrordinary at the art of fellatio. Or to be crude she could suck a basketball thru a garden hose. All my life I had measured blowjobs against my very first BJ which was infuckincredible. My gf could have been the twin sister of BJ giver #1. And because she was in love with me and wanted me to be happy in every way she swallowed every time. We would still be together if I wasn't so fucked in the head.

[12GAUGE]

Even though I don't really have anything to contribute, I have found this thread extremely interesting. Knowing what men (or at least the enlightened men here at TT) are thinking is very interesting. Thanks for the info.

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