Members redjeepgrl Posted July 14, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2009 Hi all,As you all suggested I have been very patient with my hubby about our ED problem. However tonight while showing me some unrelated videos on his laptop, I noticed a few bondage sites in his history at the top of his page. We have discussed this before and I have told him that I am up for that sort of thing and wanting to experiment with it with him. I would be happy to. This just makes me all the more upset because we are not having sex and also went out to a concert last night and stayed overnight in a hotel and he did not even initiate anything. I did not either because I do not want him to be uncomfortable. I do not know what to say to him or do with this new found information and I do not want to fight but I am pretty upset by this. Help!redjeepgrl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shdowulf39 Posted July 14, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 14, 2009 depending on how well you know him....I would suggesty going out and getting a bdsm movie and watching it together.or going out and getting some bondage gear.leather wrist cuffs along with a blindfole,or maybe some cfm shoes,nylons and a corset along wit maybe a crop.and wearing it when he gets home from work.maybe say to him.how about a little role play session.just a thought on what you might do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 12GAUGE Posted July 15, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 15, 2009 depending on how well you know him....I would suggesty going out and getting a bdsm movie and watching it together.or going out and getting some bondage gear.leather wrist cuffs along with a blindfole,or maybe some cfm shoes,nylons and a corset along wit maybe a crop.and wearing it when he gets home from work.maybe say to him.how about a little role play session.just a thought on what you might do.That would work on me FOR SURE!!As usual it looks like I've popped into the middle of a conversation and dont know what is going on. As such and not wanting to offend anyone especially redjeepgurl....does your man seem to be somewhat quiet/lowkey...submissive...."lil ole librarian like" like from the 50s and 60s?Not to go out on a limb here but maybe he wants you or is hoping that you will take charge? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members redjeepgrl Posted July 16, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 depending on how well you know him....I would suggesty going out and getting a bdsm movie and watching it together.or going out and getting some bondage gear.leather wrist cuffs along with a blindfole,or maybe some cfm shoes,nylons and a corset along wit maybe a crop.and wearing it when he gets home from work.maybe say to him.how about a little role play session.just a thought on what you might do.We are pretty open about what we talk about and we did discuss this, wulf...I have never actually done it though. I already have a lot of this stuff here, so I might have to give this a try tonight when he gets home! Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members redjeepgrl Posted July 16, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 That would work on me FOR SURE!!As usual it looks like I've popped into the middle of a conversation and dont know what is going on. As such and not wanting to offend anyone especially redjeepgurl....does your man seem to be somewhat quiet/lowkey...submissive...."lil ole librarian like" like from the 50s and 60s?Not to go out on a limb here but maybe he wants you or is hoping that you will take charge?Hey 12guage! It is okay that you jumped in, I am glad you did. I welcome any and all advice! He is a little quiet, but not really submissive and I actually asked him that the other night, if he wanted to be dominated...and he said that he did not know?? To which I replied, you really do not know which role you would like to play unless you actually do it I guess...It is a good limb to go out on especially considering he has a job that requires him to be "in charge" all day, he is a police officer, so it would make sense that he would maybe like to be taken control of in that sense, to me at least it does....I think I will conjure something up for tonight when he gets home and see how that goes.Thanks for your imput, I appreciate it!!redjeepgrl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted July 16, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 he has a job that requires him to be "in charge" all day, it would make sense that he would maybe like to be taken control of in that sense, to me at least it does....redjeepgrlI agree... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted July 16, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 16, 2009 Hi RJG:You have mentioned before that your hb has ED. Well, as I have indicated before, whenever there is a pressure situation (like an anniversary or a night in a hotel) where sex is expected, the pressure is on, and therefore the fear of ED rearing its ugly head is prevalent.As for the bondage clips, there are many reasons for this. If it is what he is into (and many people are, like myself) then he is just looking for the 'quick release' and using the videos as inspiration. As I have said before (and in my article) the fact that your man is masturbating instead of having sex with you has NOTHING to do wtih you - or his attraction to you - it has to do with his shame in not being able to 'get it up or keep it up.' So, what do you do? You have to find ways of dealing with it.yes, you could got and get bondage supplies - but honestly, I doubt this is going to help at all. Reaso; he still has to perform to satsify you. Getting such equipment actually puts MORE pressure on him, not less. The 'expectation' that this will fix things will be too much.My best advice: go to a doctor, seek ED advice. get a medication that can help him to bolster his confidence (and try more than one, they all work differently). Be PATIENT and understanding and just try to make each other happy intimately without sex. give him the idea that he can use his fingers and tongue and doesn't have to use his cock. this will relax him.trust me - mikayla knows about this stuff!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members redjeepgrl Posted July 23, 2009 Author Members Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 Hi RJG:You have mentioned before that your hb has ED. Well, as I have indicated before, whenever there is a pressure situation (like an anniversary or a night in a hotel) where sex is expected, the pressure is on, and therefore the fear of ED rearing its ugly head is prevalent.As for the bondage clips, there are many reasons for this. If it is what he is into (and many people are, like myself) then he is just looking for the 'quick release' and using the videos as inspiration. As I have said before (and in my article) the fact that your man is masturbating instead of having sex with you has NOTHING to do wtih you - or his attraction to you - it has to do with his shame in not being able to 'get it up or keep it up.' So, what do you do? You have to find ways of dealing with it.yes, you could got and get bondage supplies - but honestly, I doubt this is going to help at all. Reaso; he still has to perform to satsify you. Getting such equipment actually puts MORE pressure on him, not less. The 'expectation' that this will fix things will be too much.My best advice: go to a doctor, seek ED advice. get a medication that can help him to bolster his confidence (and try more than one, they all work differently). Be PATIENT and understanding and just try to make each other happy intimately without sex. give him the idea that he can use his fingers and tongue and doesn't have to use his cock. this will relax him.trust me - mikayla knows about this stuff!!I do trust you Mikayla...that's why I am here! We did discuss him going back to the doctor as well to discuss medication, because I said to him just like you have stated here, it might help to have a success. I did not get upset about the night in the hotel thing because honestly I was not expecting it at all and we had a wonderful time just being together.I find that being here and hearing all of your advice is also helping me to speak to him more calmly and openly like we have not before and I believe that is making him feel more comfortable. I appreciate all of your help and for now I am just relaxing myself and not going to worry about this. I will tell him again that he can use his fingers and I tell him all the time I love his tongue, the man knows how to "work it"...LOL Thank you so much again for all of your help and I will keep you all posted!!!redjeepgrl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunday Posted July 23, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 Hi RJG:You have mentioned before that your hb has ED. Well, as I have indicated before, whenever there is a pressure situation (like an anniversary or a night in a hotel) where sex is expected, the pressure is on, and therefore the fear of ED rearing its ugly head is prevalent.My best advice: go to a doctor, seek ED advice. get a medication that can help him to bolster his confidence (and try more than one, they all work differently). Be PATIENT and understanding and just try to make each other happy intimately without sex. give him the idea that he can use his fingers and tongue and doesn't have to use his cock. this will relax him.trust me - mikayla knows about this stuff!!Mikayla is right. Any time a guy who has even mild ED feels he is expected to perform, he's not going to be able to. He probably wants to please you and is hurting and feeling like less of a man because he can't.This might work: wait until the right time - a night when he isn't tired or stressed, and tell him in your sexiest way, "Would you do something for me? I want you to tie me to the bed, pull my panties off, hold my legs apart, and lick me 'til I scream. Don't let me stop you. When I can't come anymore just let me fall asleep in your arms, dreaming of how your tongue felt on me." This will do several things for him. It will give him a little taste of bondage and control, it will let him please you in a way he knows you want (because you ask for it) and it will take away the anxiety of having to perform with is penis. Just do not mention even the possibility of penetration. Let him believe you don't want it. You may end up getting it anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted July 23, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 23, 2009 Mikayla is right. Any time a guy who has even mild ED feels he is expected to perform, he's not going to be able to. He probably wants to please you and is hurting and feeling like less of a man because he can't.This might work: wait until the right time - a night when he isn't tired or stressed, and tell him in your sexiest way, "Would you do something for me? I want you to tie me to the bed, pull my panties off, hold my legs apart, and lick me 'til I scream. Don't let me stop you. When I can't come anymore just let me fall asleep in your arms, dreaming of how your tongue felt on me." This will do several things for him. It will give him a little taste of bondage and control, it will let him please you in a way he knows you want (because you ask for it) and it will take away the anxiety of having to perform with is penis. Just do not mention even the possibility of penetration. Let him believe you don't want it. You may end up getting it anyway. You rock... that sounds like a surefire idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted July 24, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 Mikayla is right. Any time a guy who has even mild ED feels he is expected to perform, he's not going to be able to. He probably wants to please you and is hurting and feeling like less of a man because he can't.This might work: wait until the right time - a night when he isn't tired or stressed, and tell him in your sexiest way, "Would you do something for me? I want you to tie me to the bed, pull my panties off, hold my legs apart, and lick me 'til I scream. Don't let me stop you. When I can't come anymore just let me fall asleep in your arms, dreaming of how your tongue felt on me." This will do several things for him. It will give him a little taste of bondage and control, it will let him please you in a way he knows you want (because you ask for it) and it will take away the anxiety of having to perform with is penis. Just do not mention even the possibility of penetration. Let him believe you don't want it. You may end up getting it anyway. ED or not, HOT Idea!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted July 24, 2009 Review Team Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 ED or not, HOT Idea!!!!DITTO!!! Whew! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shdowulf39 Posted July 24, 2009 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2009 now if my SO came up with something like that.....WOW!!!!!I would be all for it.And yes sooner or later she would get nailed..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.