Review Team sass Posted January 22, 2010 Review Team Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 If your husband/wife gives you permission to be with someone else, is it still cheating? Would you do it? If so, under what circumstances? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members thurisas Posted January 22, 2010 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Its called an open relationship and if both parties are aware and know what is going on then no, it is not cheating. Once all of the parameters are set and so long as they are adhered to it is still a faithful relationship but with an added dynamic.Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted January 22, 2010 Members Report Share Posted January 22, 2010 Its called an open relationship and if both parties are aware and know what is going on then no, it is not cheating. Once all of the parameters are set and so long as they are adhered to it is still a faithful relationship but with an added dynamic.Randy.excellent answer Randy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted January 23, 2010 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 Agree with the others in that I would not consider it cheating.If I were given permission, I might take advantage of it if an opportunity came along, but I would not go actively seeking out such an opportunity. It would have to be someone I knew and liked and was attracted to, but not someone I wanted to run off into the sunset with. And even then, I'm not so sure it would be a good idea. Might be somehting better left in fantasy land than to act on in the real world.My wife is bisexual, and has my permission to mess around with another girl. She makes some effort toward that end, but so far just a couple of touchy-feely encounters. Several years ago before she had the permission and before she knew how I felt on the matter (and before I even thought about how I felt on the matter), she had an ongoing fling with another girl, which I didn't know about until last year.I guess I could consider that cheating, but I really don't. I don't view another girl as competition or a threat to the marriage. I suppose you could argue that a fling between her and a guy could also be just a fling and not a threat, but it goes against my grain, and I'm not so open-minded at this point in my life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted January 23, 2010 Members Report Share Posted January 23, 2010 The key here is to be OPEN AND HONEST. The dude I just ended it with had permission and I trusted him and he told me, I also knew I wasn't the only girlfriend. The Other Girl however, didn[t know. She said he could be open, but then only thought it was me. She had NO idea about the other girls. He also told me that while he didn't think she was sleeping with anyone else, he thought she would just to "get back at him." Doesn't seem so open to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie Dopey Posted September 19, 2010 Newbie Report Share Posted September 19, 2010 what do you mean by given permission? Were you arguing and she said do whoever or whatever you want or was it an open discussion? Honestly not enough information to go on. I myself would never cheat on my husband. I took a vow to be faithful even if he gave me permission to be with someone else or even if he insisted or wanted me to I couldn't bring myself to do it. Everyone id different but I look at it like this if your husband/wife does not care if you sleep around why be married? Why be with them? I mean if you want someone else I would see it as you are unhappy in the relationship you are in so why be with them? Also if it were me and my husband insisted I sleep with someone else or wanted me to we would not be married much longer. Call me old fashioned but when I said I do I vowed to be faithful to my husband. I said I do to him and I won't do anything with anyone else. Just my opinion marriage is sacred in my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted September 19, 2010 Report Share Posted September 19, 2010 I think the general idea of "given permission" would be if you had an open relationship, or, say in the example of like maybe a disabled person that can't perform anymore sexually, giving their spouse the OK to go ahead and have sex outside the marriage. For some, this works. People want to experiment. Some do, some don't. Some experiment when they're single, and cease when they get married. Others never have experimented, and wish they had after they get married. There's all sorts of scenerios.Now, if you say in anger, "Oh, just go ahead and fuck his/her brains out why don't ya?" That, to me, isn't "permission". It's sarcasm. Open marriages required a hell of a lot of honesty, up front, and almost brutal. Not only for the health aspects, but to maintain trust in the relationship too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members shdowulf39 Posted September 19, 2010 Members Report Share Posted September 19, 2010 If both of you sit down and discuss it,and come to the same conclusion that it's ok.Then no it isn't cheating.My SO and I discussed it before we got together full time.We both came to the same conclusion.We wanted a one on one realtionship with no extras.I don't think I could ever be in a totally committed relationship where on party wanted some extra on the side.Just doesn't work for me.Call me selfish or what ever.I couldn't have a committed relationship like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Review Team sass Posted September 20, 2010 Author Review Team Report Share Posted September 20, 2010 No, it wasn't a permission-through-anger situation I was thinking of at the time I posted this question, although that is a good point. I imagine that happens from time-to-time though.The senario imagined was more one of an open-marriage kind of situation, where it might just be opened for a short period of time to allow some experimenting - kind of like what another active thread started out discussing.I imagine most of us agree that it is a slippery slope at the very least. I was just wondering how many could/would consider it if presented to them by their SO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members SensualWoman Posted September 20, 2010 Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2010 Like many others, if both parties are down with it, then in my books it isn't cheating. Although I am not sure if I would or wouldn't be okay with the idea. As interesting, and somewhat of a turn on it may be, I am too jealous of a lover to be okay with that at this time in my life. My hubby is okay with me being with another woman, and does not feel "threatened" by another woman, so I guess in that way it is open to ladies on my part. And if he really wanted to, I would let him be with another man. (Although the chances of that are pretty freaking low lol) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LilGreenPuffer Posted September 20, 2010 Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2010 Not me, and I don't want a marriage with someone who would offer me that. I want an exclusive relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted September 20, 2010 Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2010 In marriage each couple makes there own rules. There isn't a right or wrong way, just different. My husband and I both need exclusivity in our relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mudshark Posted September 26, 2010 Members Report Share Posted September 26, 2010 In marriage each couple makes there own rules. There isn't a right or wrong way, just different. My husband and I both need exclusivity in our relationship.As tempting as the thought of an open relationship can be, my wife and I both feel that we would never truly be comfortable in changing. We have an exclusive relationship also and feel that, as soul-mates, we can just leave that (and other interesting things) to fantasy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted September 27, 2010 Members Report Share Posted September 27, 2010 As tempting as the thought of an open relationship can be, my wife and I both feel that we would never truly be comfortable in changing. We have an exclusive relationship also and feel that, as soul-mates, we can just leave that (and other interesting things) to fantasy...The mind is a wonderful tool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members GlacialDrift Posted October 9, 2010 Members Report Share Posted October 9, 2010 Wife and I have discussed it, but it's really more trouble than it's worth for us. According to her having two women means far too many holes for just one penis. And there's no way anyone else is touching her.But yeah, it isn't cheating if both partners agree and understand one another. I mean, cheating refers to the lie that occurs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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