Members mystofpric Posted July 24, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 So i was hopping for some more advice from all you fine and sexy folk! My roommate and I have figured out the kids issue ( i decided to go straight to the source and talk to the kids, all is well ) , but now I need some other opinions. Do i have a say in how often is too often for the boyfriend to be here? I mean HE'S ALWAYS HERE!!! Like even when she's not! They shower together despite my being home, and awake. He's here even AFTER she leaves for work, he shows up here unannounced when she's not home, he walks in like he owns the place and he doesn't even have the decency to acknowledge my presence in the house, by just saying hi. Dude walks around in his towel! She already accused me of hooking up with him and I have told her this makes me uncomfortable, like I have no privacy now! He pretty much lives here, AND SHE JUST MOVED THE EX OUT! Like really!? Ugh ,what do i do?! Oh he's also going through her things and throwing away things that should go to her kids, like pictures of the ex (their dad.). Creeper! Oh did I mention I work with the boyfriend?! So I see him pretty much 24/7! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hyokahey Posted July 24, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 Find a new apartment, PDQ. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted July 24, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 Find a new apartment, PDQ.I concur - gotta find a new roomate, this situation is not cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted July 24, 2010 Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 It's unfair of her to expect you to put up with that. If her ex cheated, and now she's allowing her current to just come waltzing in whenever he pleases, which, yes it's very very disrespectful of both of them to do/allow, then she is probably going to think he's cheating. She sounds very insecure, and not wanting to be alone, like she only feels complete with a man in her life.Plain & simple, you have 3 choices, since you signed a lease:*talk with her and tell her that it's unfair that he's always there, you don't feel like you have your space, which you SIGNED A LEASE for (so you have EVERY right to do this), and there needs to be limits on when he comes by, like, only when she's home. Because, think about it, would she be so tolerant if YOU were the one doing this?* Tell her that either y'all start splitting the rent 3 ways since he's always there, and that's NOT what you signed up for.*Or you could leave. However, be aware, since you signed a lease, you will be responsible for taking your name off of it, or you may have to continue the lease, paying for the space that you are no longer in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted July 24, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 I would find a new place and not with her. Like we talked the other day he is just nuts with the things he is doing. I would look around at finding a new roomate somewhere or see about maybe just a studio apartment somewhere. Not sure if that is in your budget but you need to do something. You are paying rent yet have no privacy and no say. That is bullshit girl. Don't make us come up and take care of him....lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted July 24, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 If you can't afford to move out on your own. If your are worried about the lease, try to sublet to someone. If you feel stuck this is my suggestion: You need to let her know they need to be more considerate of you. You pay half the rent you deserve to be heard. How and when she has interaction with him, well you really don't have a say, but tell her she needs to find a sitter and go to his place. In addition you need to make it very clear to her he is not welcome when she is not home period. She leaves he leaves and is not invited back unless she is already home. You need to tell her unless he is in her bedroom he need to be wearing clothes and this is not optional. You may want to stipulate you need X amount of days/evenings without him. She may need that. These first couple of months will be the toughest to navigate. You'll both need to figure out how to live with each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted July 24, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 You SHOULD have had that talk and all ironed out BEFORE you signed that lease. I actually don't think you should have ever signed that lease to begin with. And yes, i agree, if he's always there, the rent should be split 3 ways as well as the utilities. But now that it's signed, you may be stuck in that lease. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members LilGreenPuffer Posted July 24, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 24, 2010 Move out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted July 28, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 28, 2010 Suzy how's it going? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted July 28, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted July 28, 2010 Suzy how's it going?Nothing has changed, Sunday before her daughter's birthday T and I had a huge blow up. Monday night the boyfriend said at his place and as a result, tuesday they almost broke up. Seems like the only hope is for me to find a place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 12GAUGE Posted July 28, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 28, 2010 Nothing has changed, Sunday before her daughter's birthday T and I had a huge blow up. Monday night the boyfriend staid at his place and as a result, tuesday they almost broke up. Seems like the only hope is for me to find a place.Most everyone here is saying you should move out and that is just plain LUDICROUS!!! Since you signed a lease IT IS YOUR PLACE!! Kick her out! With the roomie gone the bf will be gone as well. You might even present the bf with his share of the rent/utilities. Does the bf have his own key to get in YOUR PLACE? If so is this something you agreed to or not? I would guess that you did not give permission for the bf to have his own key. In all the years I had roomies there were certain "House Rules" that ALL new roomies read and understood and signed their name to along with a copy of the House Rules. I say give her a 72 Hours To Vacate Notice. Get new locks to install and when that 72 hours is up have New Locks installed 30 minutes later. At that time if the bf shows up minus the ex roomie call the cops and have him trespassed!! If after all this is said and done you might still have to move to a smaller/cheaper place well that would suck but sad to say this would be a learning experience for you. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted July 29, 2010 Members Report Share Posted July 29, 2010 Nothing has changed, Sunday before her daughter's birthday T and I had a huge blow up. Monday night the boyfriend said at his place and as a result, tuesday they almost broke up. Seems like the only hope is for me to find a place.If she and the boyfriend break up it's about them not you not matter what. I'm really sorry your having such a hard time.Will you be liable for the lease you signed or are you going to try to sublet your half? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted August 20, 2010 Members Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 Suzy, how is everything going? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted August 20, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 Suzy, how is everything going?I'm actually moving here in a few weeks. Things got much much worse to the point that I wasn't even coming home for a week or so. And we talked and both agreed this is the only way to save our friendship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted August 20, 2010 Report Share Posted August 20, 2010 You'll want to check, and make sure that you're going to be taken off the lease. If the BF moves in, then he can cover where you were, and she should write something up that states that you moved out, but someone else took your place to pay the rent, so it would let you off the hook, just in case something happens. Trust me, simple things can ruin a friendship then land you in court. Best wishes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted August 21, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted August 21, 2010 You'll want to check, and make sure that you're going to be taken off the lease. If the BF moves in, then he can cover where you were, and she should write something up that states that you moved out, but someone else took your place to pay the rent, so it would let you off the hook, just in case something happens. Trust me, simple things can ruin a friendship then land you in court. Best wishes!I went through the landlord and they let me off the lease, we signed paperwork and everything, we haven't even been here a full month yet. So it's no problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted August 22, 2010 Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 That's fantastic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted August 22, 2010 Author Members Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 That's fantastic!Yeah, the landlord would rather have me out now than deal with troubles down the line and based on the fib t put on her application about how much she makes she can more than afford it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted August 22, 2010 Members Report Share Posted August 22, 2010 I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I'm sure you'll find a fabulous place where you will be happy. Happy Moving! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members 12GAUGE Posted July 19, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2011 Most everyone here is saying you should move out and that is just plain LUDICROUS!!! Since you signed a lease IT IS YOUR PLACE!! Kick her out! With the roomie gone the bf will be gone as well. You might even present the bf with his share of the rent/utilities. Does the bf have his own key to get in YOUR PLACE? If so is this something you agreed to or not? I would guess that you did not give permission for the bf to have his own key. In all the years I had roomies there were certain "House Rules" that ALL new roomies read and understood and signed their name to along with a copy of the House Rules. I say give her a 72 Hours To Vacate Notice. Get new locks to install and when that 72 hours is up have New Locks installed 30 minutes later. At that time if the bf shows up minus the ex roomie call the cops and have him trespassed!! If after all this is said and done you might still have to move to a smaller/cheaper place well that would suck but sad to say this would be a learning experience for you. Good luck.Like I said almost one year ago since you signed the lease IT IS YOUR PLACE!!! Make them move out. Or split the rent into thirds since he is always there.He definitely doesn't get his own key unless he is paying rent. Plus a third of the utilities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mailahn97 Posted July 19, 2011 Members Report Share Posted July 19, 2011 Suzy doesn't get on here too often as she is very busy with work, but I can say she has moved on and has her own place and doing well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted July 30, 2011 Report Share Posted July 30, 2011 I'm friends with her on FB too. I'm glad she's doing well. Let this be a lesson to anyone thinking of rooming with others, especially 2 single girls: get EVERYTHING in writing. Boyfriends usually come into the picture and ruin a well-running roommate situation. Setting up the rules of rooming should be FIRST. Both sign in, and expect both to adhere to it. It also helps with issues that may arrise in the future, especially if court becomes involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Lisa's Man Posted August 27, 2011 Members Report Share Posted August 27, 2011 I'm friends with her on FB too. I'm glad she's doing well. Let this be a lesson to anyone thinking of rooming with others, especially 2 single girls: get EVERYTHING in writing. Boyfriends usually come into the picture and ruin a well-running roommate situation. Setting up the rules of rooming should be FIRST. Both sign in, and expect both to adhere to it. It also helps with issues that may arrise in the future, especially if court becomes involved.Yes, the same thing can happen with guys.. Nothing like having to deal with seeing a roomies GF every time you get home, having no peace, and if things go bad between them, the drama is right there in front of you. I agree, room mates need to have some basic courtesy house rules and stick to them. Like a relationship, even friendships can take a toll once you're living under the same roof.Glad to hear things have worked out for the better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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