Someone With Some Experience...please

[katescott]

I doesn"t take too many peeks on here to know some people know waaaay more than me. Is there a general beginning to new avenues of sexual interaction with your mate, how in world do I foster it or get details on making it work better?

[mailahn97]

When I first started coming on here about 3.5 years ago. I had very little clue on many subjects. I started reading a lot and asking questions to gain knowledge. What is it that you are thinking about. If you are asking how to bring it up to your partner the best is having conversations during non sexual times. I am always around if you want to send me a message. Also many members on here are very willing to help so if you have any particular questions please put them up and I am sure someone if not multiple people would be glad to help you. We were all at that level at some time in our lives. Welcome to the board.

[katescott]

When I first started coming on here about 3.5 years ago. I had very little clue on many subjects. I started reading a lot and asking questions to gain knowledge. What is it that you are thinking about. If you are asking how to bring it up to your partner the best is having conversations during non sexual times. I am always around if you want to send me a message. Also many members on here are very willing to help so if you have any particular questions please put them up and I am sure someone if not multiple people would be glad to help you. We were all at that level at some time in our lives. Welcome to the board.

Hmmm seems like a have a million questions but lets start with one or two. we have tried without first talking about it a few things such as naughty talk (that's just my lingo) and a bit of slapping has just come in to play. I just need to know if there are wrong ways, right ways...ah hell that just seems completely inadequate for what I am feeling right now.

[katescott]

Thanx for the welcome though!

[ToyQueen]

I totally agree with Shortstuff. When I first came here, I read almost everything I could. I am also almost always around, and I check in several times a day. Feel free to ask whatever you want. Someone will know the answer!

[sass]

I agree with the others. There isn't a wrong way to do things as long as you are safe, everything is legal, and everyone is enjoying it. What some like, others do not, but you really don't know until you try it.

Sometimes talking about it first, especially if safety could be a factor (like with bondage), is the best approach, and other times just going with the flow of moment is really hot! It all just depends on what kinds of things you are talking about.

If it is something you want to talk about with your mate, don't try to start the conversation in the heat of the moment. If you don't know how to start the conversation, asking your SO if he has a fantasy, or telling him about one of yours, can lead to interesting conversations. Don't be shy and don't be judgemental; be supportive and let the subject go where ever it goes.

And like the others said, feel free to ask anything. We're a pretty helpful bunch, as it wasn't that long ago that many of us were in your shoes. And welcome aboard TT!

[katescott]

OK so last evening I say to my honey, Honey I think we need to have an open, honest, non judgemental conversation about our sex life. He says oookaaay. I said I think you have some things that you might want to share with me (I actually know this as I am pretty good a checking the history on the pc).

He says maybeeee. You have to know we have a pretty good amount of open sharing about pretty much everything. So I laugh I say well maybe there are things i would like to try too. He says, like what? I respond maybe we should just each write down a list and then compare notes. He responds "are you crazy What if we lose the lists?!" I say don't lose your list! we'll get a strongbox and keep them in there, we'll need one anyway since I think we should buy a few toys too! I think he just about had a coronary! I laughed so hard i thought I was going to pee my pants! It was a good conversation all in all. Oh yeah and sex last night...HOT!

[sass]

OK so last evening I say to my honey, Honey I think we need to have an open, honest, non judgemental conversation about our sex life. He says oookaaay. I said I think you have some things that you might want to share with me (I actually know this as I am pretty good a checking the history on the pc).

He says maybeeee. You have to know we have a pretty good amount of open sharing about pretty much everything. So I laugh I say well maybe there are things i would like to try too. He says, like what? I respond maybe we should just each write down a list and then compare notes. He responds "are you crazy What if we lose the lists?!" I say don't lose your list! we'll get a strongbox and keep them in there, we'll need one anyway since I think we should buy a few toys too! I think he just about had a coronary! I laughed so hard i thought I was going to pee my pants! It was a good conversation all in all. Oh yeah and sex last night...HOT!

That's great! Sounds like the conversation has been started! YAY! Let us know how it goes.

[ToyQueen]

OK so last evening I say to my honey, Honey I think we need to have an open, honest, non judgemental conversation about our sex life. He says oookaaay. I said I think you have some things that you might want to share with me (I actually know this as I am pretty good a checking the history on the pc).

He says maybeeee. You have to know we have a pretty good amount of open sharing about pretty much everything. So I laugh I say well maybe there are things i would like to try too. He says, like what? I respond maybe we should just each write down a list and then compare notes. He responds "are you crazy What if we lose the lists?!" I say don't lose your list! we'll get a strongbox and keep them in there, we'll need one anyway since I think we should buy a few toys too! I think he just about had a coronary! I laughed so hard i thought I was going to pee my pants! It was a good conversation all in all. Oh yeah and sex last night...HOT!

GREAT JOb!!!!! Sounds like you know how to start this conversation. Keep it up!

[Lisa's Man]

GREAT JOb!!!!! Sounds like you know how to start this conversation. Keep it up!

Kinda sounds like she is.

Communication is key for EVERYTHING about a relationship.

[Tyger]

Yes, absolutely read the forums, and get your curiousity peaked. However, the biggest way to create more avenues sexually with your lover is open communication, trust, respect, mutual participation, and, of course, a willingness to try.

I've said it before, and it bears repeating: if you want to try something new, great! However, if your lover is just plain set against it, say, for example, one of the most common things to not want to try, anal sex, well, don't pester. Discuss it openly, honestly, do some research, and, if they don't want to do it, don't push, don't pout, and by all means, don't degrade them or insult them by saying they're "chicken". Again, the respect plays into part here.

It took YEARS for my hubby to even want to try anal. I'd asked him, once, and by his reaction of "Awwwww hell nawwww!!!!" (he's southern), I got the clue that he didn't want to even consider it. Well, just a few years ago, he broached the subject, picked out the toy, and he's an avid player in the anal realm now.

At first, when I became a reviewer, he thought of sex toys as replacements in the bedroom. But, once we got more, and a different array of items, he got a lot more into it, and was more and more willing to experiment.

[mailahn97]

Sounds like you are definately heading in the right direction. I wish you the best with it.

[ladylove]

I doesn"t take too many peeks on here to know some people know waaaay more than me. Is there a general beginning to new avenues of sexual interaction with your mate, how in world do I foster it or get details on making it work better?

It took a huge dose of courage for to start the conversation, good for you!

Have you moved forward on any of your "strong box" suggestions; has any of the suggestions (from either of you) been meet with little or no enthusiasm? If so how have you dealt with it?

[katescott]

Lady,

we have not purchased anything for our strongbox yet but when I suggested a cock ring he was like no way! He has no trouble staying hard and can last longer than me. He just thought it would be painful and he'd get no enjoyment from it. Of course I had no response to that because I really don't know if it is pleasureable for men. I know some have attatchements that are pleasureable for women buuut really know very little about them.

we did buy some yours and mine ky we are going to give that a try tonight I am hoping it is as good as the commercials make it out to be!

I did mention that I am ok with hands around my neck but I really don't want to be choked which is something I know interests him alot.

Also he came home for lunch on Friday and I made him late getting back, needless to say he got the longest BJ he's had in YEARS! I still had some gagging issues but I think I did ok.

So yes I think we r moving forward as some things we've just done without talking about them, after all we have been married 18 years now!

[katescott]

Does anyone have any suggestions for some quality, fun, beginner toys? we have had a dildo in the past and I had a very tiny rigid vibrator (which I really didn't get much enjoyment from). That is the extent of our past toy experience.

[ladylove]

Does anyone have any suggestions for some quality, fun, beginner toys? we have had a dildo in the past and I had a very tiny rigid vibrator (which I really didn't get much enjoyment from). That is the extent of our past toy experience.

WOW! You've just opened pandora's box!

I will suggest some for you.

Beginner Anal toys:

My first anal toy

Beaded Anal Vibe

*remember to alway, always be very generous with lube during anal play. Saliva isn't a substitute in any way.

Vibes or dildo:

My Personal favorite

Bath Time Bunny

Slimline Cyber-Cock

Check out the finger vibes, they are always great for beginners

The above are just a few suggestions. You and DH should look aroung the site together and decide, it's half the fun.

[katescott]

call me ignorant but what does DH stand for? BTW we r pretty well versed in anal play as I have been loving that for a few years now. no toys thoughit's always been all him in me. I would love to try something more. Thinking I can hardly wait to order some stuff. Is there a really good anal lube? I tend to be extremely wet so we have used me for lube up to now. I think we need to get some if he is going to have some fun too! I am love love

loving all the info on this site!

[ToyQueen]

call me ignorant but what does DH stand for? BTW we r pretty well versed in anal play as I have been loving that for a few years now. no toys thoughit's always been all him in me. I would love to try something more. Thinking I can hardly wait to order some stuff. Is there a really good anal lube? I tend to be extremely wet so we have used me for lube up to now. I think we need to get some if he is going to have some fun too! I am love love

loving all the info on this site!

DH=dear husband. You're not ignorant if you don't know. Most silicone lubes are considered good for anal play, as they last longer than water-based lubes. However, if you are using a silicone toy, a silicone lube will eat it. My favorite lube for pretty much everything is TooTimid lube. http://www.tootimid.com/too-timid-pleasure-gel.html

[ladylove]

As toy queen stated, not ignorant at all. If you read half the questions I had you would be LYAO! (laughing your ass off - which was just one of mine).

I agree with Toy the TT has a great lube. However, for anal play, if you are not using a silicone toy use silicone lube. It really is better. We have used and like Gun Oil as well as Climax Burst Anal Lubricant just to name two. There are other good ones too you just have to read the reviews on them.

As far as a toy for anal play since you are more experienced have you ever thought of having our DH ( ) use a strap-on so you can have vaginal and anal penetration at the same time?

You can also always use the strap on yourself to penetrate him if he'd game. I need to be responsible and mention you must never insert toys vaginally after anally. And wash toys in antibacterial before sharing, even if you are married or in a committed relationship.

Also check out the the toys that go bzzzzzz in the anal toy section you'll both love the extra zing it gives both of you! If you want suggestions ask away.

[katescott]

As toy queen stated, not ignorant at all. If you read half the questions I had you would be LYAO! (laughing your ass off - which was just one of mine).

I agree with Toy the TT has a great lube. However, for anal play, if you are not using a silicone toy use silicone lube. It really is better. We have used and like Gun Oil as well as Climax Burst Anal Lubricant just to name two. There are other good ones too you just have to read the reviews on them.

As far as a toy for anal play since you are more experienced have you ever thought of having our DH ( ) use a strap-on so you can have vaginal and anal penetration at the same time?

You can also always use the strap on yourself to penetrate him if he'd game. I need to be responsible and mention you must never insert toys vaginally after anally. And wash toys in antibacterial before sharing, even if you are married or in a committed relationship.

Also check out the the toys that go bzzzzzz in the anal toy section you'll both love the extra zing it gives both of you! If you want suggestions ask away.

Ok so I must admit it the double penetration sounds ....delightful. HUGE fantasy of mine that I use when I self satisfy is 2 men with me. mmmmmm so yes indeed I will totally try steering our choice that direction. I think my DH would be open to it too, as he is way ok with a little rimming and finger insertion. I think it might take some time, but Oh so worth it. That kinda brings an extra jump in my heart rate just thinking of the power of it! hehehe. Ok, maybe that's really one sided thinking. I mean I just love that it would make him feel good! My excitement is just gravy right?!

Do you have any strapon suggestions?

[ladylove]

Ok so I must admit it the double penetration sounds ....delightful. HUGE fantasy of mine that I use when I self satisfy is 2 men with me. mmmmmm so yes indeed I will totally try steering our choice that direction. I think my DH would be open to it too, as he is way ok with a little rimming and finger insertion. I think it might take some time, but Oh so worth it. That kinda brings an extra jump in my heart rate just thinking of the power of it! hehehe. Ok, maybe that's really one sided thinking. I mean I just love that it would make him feel good! My excitement is just gravy right?!

Do you have any strapon suggestions?

So glad it "peeked" your interest. If you are going to use a strap on it would have to be A Harness Kit for you. If your DH is to grow a second penis check out Menage-A-Trios it looks really interesting! There are tons to choose from here is the link to the majority of Sex Harnesses. There are also a couple of double penetrating cock rings which I'm not including since you said you DH really doesn't like cock rings.

Let me I mean us know which one(s) you purchase and do tell afterwards .

[Stacie72]

What about the strapless one i seen will it work as well for the woman wearing it.

[12GAUGE]

Hmmm seems like a have a million questions but lets start with one or two. we have tried without first talking about it a few things such as naughty talk (that's just my lingo) and a bit of slapping has just come in to play. I just need to know if there are wrong ways, right ways...ah hell that just seems completely inadequate for what I am feeling right now.

Of all the questions you could have asked you picked 2 of my favorites.

Naughty talk...The first time a gal tried this on me it shocked me pretty good. On the other hand she was a very HOT lay and she wore me out. Now 23+years later I love dirty talk. Truth be told words like 'vagina, penis and breasts' are about as stimulating to me as stepping in still warm dog poop in my bare feet. EWWWWWEEEYYY!!! And Yucky!!

Several years ago I was at a swinging Night Club when I met a gorgeous Domme. We flirted and talked. She showed me some of her tats and we flirted and talked some more. When it was closing time we left together. Long story short at one point we ducked into a long dark doorway. She'd already told me how she loved to punish her subs and it was turning me on like you wouldn't believe. I asked her if she would open hand slap me in the face with my eyes closed. She said she would and I got ready. She slapped me 5 or 6 times. I had a Raging Boner by the second slap. I got to get that again!!!