Curse Of The Small Penis

[davidb1080]

I have been cursed with a small penis and it has really started to affect my sex life and my libido. I am very self conscious about it. When it is erect it is about 3-4 inches in length but when it isn't it is under an inch. I am finding that I am sometimes avoiding sexual contact with women because of it, and there are times when I am in sexual situations with women that I can't get an erection or achieve an orgasm because of it. I consider myself a good lover and I always make every effort to please my partner. I feel overwhelmed by the stigma! How do I get over this?? Help!

[noody2005]

I have been cursed with a small penis and it has really started to affect my sex life and my libido. I am very self conscious about it. When it is erect it is about 3-4 inches in length but when it isn't it is under an inch. I am finding that I am sometimes avoiding sexual contact with women because of it, and there are times when I am in sexual situations with women that I can't get an erection or achieve an orgasm because of it. I consider myself a good lover and I always make every effort to please my partner. I feel overwhelmed by the stigma! How do I get over this?? Help!

Hey

Don't worry about size, believe me its what you do with it thats matters and how you make a guy (m/f) feel and if you get rejected just laugh it off and tell'em what they are missing out on!

I'm not well endowed but don't seem to have too many problems. The more you worry the more problems you'll have.

Try shaving your cock, above it and balls, not only will it feel great when you are beiing jerked off but it makes you look bigger.

If you want message me.

[ambrelyn]

Seriously don't worry, as I'm sure Mikayla would tell you, the first few inches of a woman's pussy are the most sensitive. My fiancee doesn't break any records, he's right at average, but he's more than enough for me. He knows how to move it just right to drive me insane!! I'd say just work on technique and quit focussing on the size.

[nosleepnmesa]

Welcome otis!!! Don't worry about it or stress over it. Heck I have a toy that the penis is only about 3inches and a girth of .5. It is perfect for those G-spot Orgasims. Let me tell you a little more I was with a guy who was about 3.5inches long and had a about 1.5in girth, he was wonderful in bed. How you get over it, I am not sure but don't stress over it at all. You are not cursed or anything else, the reason you are having a hard time getting an erection is. you said it yourself you are stressing about it. You know sometimes size DOESN'T matter, love, touchy and foreplay, Bondagejunkie is correct the first few inches of a womens pussy are the most sensitive heck our g-spot is only a couple inches in.

Good Luck and Keep us posted.

[davidb1080]

Welcome otis!!! Don't worry about it or stress over it. Heck I have a toy that the penis is only about 3inches and a girth of .5. It is perfect for those G-spot Orgasims. Let me tell you a little more I was with a guy who was about 3.5inches long and had a about 1.5in girth, he was wonderful in bed. How you get over it, I am not sure but don't stress over it at all. You are not cursed or anything else, the reason you are having a hard time getting an erection is. you said it yourself you are stressing about it. You know sometimes size DOESN'T matter, love, touchy and foreplay, Bondagejunkie is correct the first few inches of a womens pussy are the most sensitive heck our g-spot is only a couple inches in.

Good Luck and Keep us posted.

Thanks for the words of encouragement! It is nice to hear someone say that size DOESN'T matter sometimes. In today's social circles and in the media all you hear is size does matter. I can relate to women who are self conscious about their small breasts. It is the same thing, we are conditioned to think the bigger the better.

Thanks again.

[bkanasky]

this is always a very sensitive topic for men...particularly when the "EX" was bigger. many men, even those who are average size, still have much anxiety over this issue. i guess as a man, it just comes with the territory. i have spoken with dozens of women on this issue, and the vast majority of them stated that being a great lover is most important, not the size...as the size alone is useless. however, they also stated that they would prefer a larger penis IF and only if the person is a great lover--as the "full" feeling is nice for them. in the end, it appears that size isn't really a key issue--especially not for success in a relationship.

[dealbabe]

Hi Otis- I am speaking from the wife's POV. My husband has a very, very small penis. 99% of the time it is fine bc he knows what to do with it. In fact, he is the only man who has made me orgasm during actual intercourse. That 1% of the time though- I need to feel full. So once in a while, pull out a dildo and have fun!

[Tyger]

It sounds like you have the possibility of becoming a great lover, you seem to have the willingness to ask questions and to please. 2 major key things for a good lover to do.

You know the term, it's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean? Well, that happens to be very true. If you're stressing over how big you are, or are not, then your motion is probably suffering as well.

I've met several well-endowed men that were so (if you'll excuse the pun) cocky about themselves, that they thought size was everything, so to hell with effort.

I would suggest, lots of oral play, asking the woman you're being intimate with what she wants you to do, and encourage her to do the same. Just relax. Sex is suppose to be fun!!

[todd1107]

Hey Otis-

You might want to consider the ways in which this could work to your advantage and the ways it makes you fortunate. Personally I am on the other end of the spectrum and while it might have an initial wow factor it can be quite limiting in practical use. There is nothing like getting naked with a girl you have never been with just to have her look at you and say "You're crazy if you think you are going to stick THAT in me!" It's only happened twice which was 2 times too many.

Then there is "usual" sex where you typically have to put it part of the way in and no more. Not the most satisfying and if you go too far out of enthusiasm the woman you are trying to please contorts and grimaces with pain and sometimes stops you when stopping is the last thing you want to do. (Big Bummer) Anal sex, forget it unless the woman you are with is higher than a kite or has so much practice at it they are confident it's no problem, neither is much of a turn on for me.

So be careful what you ask for, personally I have often wondered how many more things I could try and experience if I was smaller. Everyone wants what they don't have and most of the time they never look at the downside of having it. I know it's difficult when you hear many women talking about some guy and how amazingly huge he was with wide eyes and then hear the same woman or others in different circumstances saying that size doesn't matter, etc. It's like who do you believe?

My experience tells me this-

1. The human brain is the largest sex organ in the body. It's good that you are asking questions and willing to listen to answers, most guys don't. I have a buddy going through a divorce right now because he found evidence of his wife's cheating on the home computer. When I talked to him about it his first defense was to say "Hell, I gave it to her all the time. It's not like she was wanting for good sex." I didn't have the heart to tell him that among other things ( it's never that simple ) that is exactly what she was looking for. Emotionally and sexually fulfilled women rarely cheat.

So do exactly what you are doing- communicate and then LISTEN. You will have the keys to the kingdom in no time and be able to give any woman the best sex she has ever had because you will understand what stimulates her mind. If you can do that effectively she will pop off one orgasm after another.... seriously. Ladies, would you not agree? Some women are actually able to get right to the brink of orgasm without being touched just by the power of the mind and when you do touch them- it's explosive.

2. Your size allows you to try/do much more than if you were toting around a cannon. Anal, most women won't run screaming and will indulge that curiousity if they never have before. Oral, most women can "take it all" without throwing up their dinner in your lap after gagging. What a thrill that is.....

The most important thing is you are unlikely to fall into the trap of "once she has some of THIS, blah, blah". You will be able to maintain perspective on how important other things are in sex, and they are VERY important. Carrying around a baseball bat in your pants might impress some at first but frankly the practical side has no wow factor at all. If you forget that women are more emotionally anchored when it comes to sex ( yes, yes, I know there are plenty of exceptions but on average now... ) and have a much greater need for communication both before and after you will lose them EVERY time sooner or later. i.e.- women often need "cuddle time" whereas most men think of such things as a waste of time, at least until they are walking out the door and taking "your pussy" with them.

3. Guys that will talk and especially listen when it comes to sex and problems with usually win. It can be a challenge with some women to get them to talk about certain things regarding sex. We learn early on that 95% of the time if you ask a woman how you are doing, if you are really "flipping her switch", etc. that the answer will come back "Oh, you're wonderful, I couldn't ask for more". Yet we also see an infidelity rate of 40-50%, which is better than they see from us but the numbers still don't jibe.... remember that you have 2 ears and one mouth- listen twice as much as you talk. If you won't listen they certainly won't tell you what you need to know. In that respect you are off to a great start....

I can't help but think of Sam Kinison's routine on this...."women won't tell you what they really want and need, they'll tell their sister, they'll tell their mother and they'll tell all your friends...but they won't tell YOU" Something tells me Sam wasn't as good of a listener as a talker.....

Again, the brain is the largest sexual organ in the body. Sounds like yours is plenty big so frankly you are ahead of many, many men out there and you have nothing to be ashamed of at all, heck dude, you have been blessed with a true "multi-purpose tool". You have advantages lots of guys don't so you might want to consider it something other than a "curse". Once you overcome the confidence / self-acceptance part of it the ladies will be calling you "McGuyver" in no time at all because you are whipping out surprise after surprise. ( they love that )

The minute it stops being a problem for you it won't be a problem for the VAST majority of women. If you are not really focused on it ( realize it is not a problem ) they won't be focused on it either, they will be too busy having fun and so will you. A guy with a huge imagination will thrill a woman a lot more than a guy with a huge honker, trust me, I have this on very good authority. My former wife modeled for years and was one of the top 5 in Hawaii for a long time, during that time she dated a certain TV / Movie celebrity that, if I recall correctly, was a "sexiest man alive" for people magazine one year. Her opinion of the sexiest man alive- Robin Williams, in her own words "by far". Imagination is more important than size - almost an Einstein quote....

When you see it as a problem and that is your focus, they will focus on it too. When you see it as an advantage that lets you do more things both of you enjoy without problems ( like taking a long drive to the ER in the middle of the night because she's bleeding and then having to explain why to the Dr. ) she will see it as "full of interesting possibilities" also and respond accordingly. Keep your focus on all the good things about it and so will she.

Always remember- It's not the size of the dog, it's how hard he BITES.

Best of luck.

[timidtwo]

I am about 5 inches.

Two things to think about:

1. Not long ago, we tried an "extender". I thought,

"HEY, why not? Bigger is better, right?"

This was NOT a good idea for us.

She told me it was too much for her, and was physically painful for her.

Not to mention that it made a suction cup like seal,

and made a "popping" noise when I withdrew from her

that was a turn off for us.

Think about it, take something about 5 inches long and that is pretty "deep" when you think about the body! Imagine a nurse or doctor giving you a shot with a 5 inch needle!!!! You'd think that they were insane!

Learn what to do, with what you got.

2. Don't get me wrong with this one, she loves toys, and the vibrators are now a valuable asset to us.

However, it has taken time for her to get used to the different feel of girth that the toys provide.

Pardon the pun, but getting started using toys has been a "stretch" for her!

Another thing I just thought of...

Look at vibrators such as the various Rabbits, and Beavers.

The ones with the rotating shafts:

Where are the rotating internal beads?

Most of them are NOT by the tip, they provide the rotation basically around the vaginal opening, and maybe 2 inches in, where the G spot is at, and not deep inside her!

[Majikal1236]

Hello!

Just throwing my 2 cents in. I have found that men who are below average in size are definitely more considerate lovers!

They take the time to go the extra mile and are extremely attentive to a woman's needs and desires, which makes them all the more attractive to their partners. It's also a bonus for you - because the more attentive you are, she will be more than willing to return the favor

So, if you keep concentrating on how to please your partner instead of worrying about your size, I'm sure you'll do just fine!

Besides, you can't change what God gave you (Well, you COULD, but that's another topic) so you may as well utilize it to your best advantage.

Take Care & stop letting this intefere with a great sex life!

[rosamaba]

I have been cursed with a small penis and it has really started to affect my sex life and my libido. I am very self conscious about it. When it is erect it is about 3-4 inches in length but when it isn't it is under an inch. I am finding that I am sometimes avoiding sexual contact with women because of it, and there are times when I am in sexual situations with women that I can't get an erection or achieve an orgasm because of it. I consider myself a good lover and I always make every effort to please my partner. I feel overwhelmed by the stigma! How do I get over this?? Help!

Yeah size doesn't really matter, esp not in the long run.

I was with someone a few years ago who was very small but he also had a lot of issues around sex he wouldnt go for oral wouldnt give it to me, and if I gave him oral he would make me brush my teeth before i could close mouth kiss him even! I never felt good sexually with him because in a way he made me feel bad about myself like i was dirty etc... so i could never let my inhibitions down & i never orgasmed needless to say it didnt last long.... he was a nice guy but sexually it was the inhibitions and making me feel bad that did it.

& for the past 4 years i have been with someone who is 9long and about 6inch around... it hurt & still does when we have to go more than 2-3 days without sex. I also get torn sometimes around the opening even with lube foreplay etc etc. Also because hes the biggest ive had and most have had he is cocky about it.... basically it is lot of work, he cant really be inside me much more than halfway which doesn't feel as good for him, and i cant give him oral at least not take him in my mouth...

So i agree with what others have been saying replying to your post.

Size doesn't matter if you are open & truly care about the person or at least care about making her feel good.

right now i am in a fix because he doesn't try as hard weve been 2gether almost 5 years so maybe its our time to have to re-invent sex but he has a issue with me not going down on him as much & me still wanting oral or at least someway to make me orgasm, its a fair thing with him... but hello! it takes soo long to get him off, &my jaw hurts for a week, wherasit take me like 10 minutes... plus i cant orgasm anyway other than oral at least not yet...

just sharing....

thought it might give you some perspective.

[davidb1080]

Hey Otis-

You might want to consider the ways in which this could work to your advantage and the ways it makes you fortunate. Personally I am on the other end of the spectrum and while it might have an initial wow factor it can be quite limiting in practical use. There is nothing like getting naked with a girl you have never been with just to have her look at you and say "You're crazy if you think you are going to stick THAT in me!" It's only happened twice which was 2 times too many.

Then there is "usual" sex where you typically have to put it part of the way in and no more. Not the most satisfying and if you go too far out of enthusiasm the woman you are trying to please contorts and grimaces with pain and sometimes stops you when stopping is the last thing you want to do. (Big Bummer) Anal sex, forget it unless the woman you are with is higher than a kite or has so much practice at it they are confident it's no problem, neither is much of a turn on for me.

So be careful what you ask for, personally I have often wondered how many more things I could try and experience if I was smaller. Everyone wants what they don't have and most of the time they never look at the downside of having it. I know it's difficult when you hear many women talking about some guy and how amazingly huge he was with wide eyes and then hear the same woman or others in different circumstances saying that size doesn't matter, etc. It's like who do you believe?

My experience tells me this-

1. The human brain is the largest sex organ in the body. It's good that you are asking questions and willing to listen to answers, most guys don't. I have a buddy going through a divorce right now because he found evidence of his wife's cheating on the home computer. When I talked to him about it his first defense was to say "Hell, I gave it to her all the time. It's not like she was wanting for good sex." I didn't have the heart to tell him that among other things ( it's never that simple ) that is exactly what she was looking for. Emotionally and sexually fulfilled women rarely cheat.

So do exactly what you are doing- communicate and then LISTEN. You will have the keys to the kingdom in no time and be able to give any woman the best sex she has ever had because you will understand what stimulates her mind. If you can do that effectively she will pop off one orgasm after another.... seriously. Ladies, would you not agree? Some women are actually able to get right to the brink of orgasm without being touched just by the power of the mind and when you do touch them- it's explosive.

2. Your size allows you to try/do much more than if you were toting around a cannon. Anal, most women won't run screaming and will indulge that curiousity if they never have before. Oral, most women can "take it all" without throwing up their dinner in your lap after gagging. What a thrill that is.....

The most important thing is you are unlikely to fall into the trap of "once she has some of THIS, blah, blah". You will be able to maintain perspective on how important other things are in sex, and they are VERY important. Carrying around a baseball bat in your pants might impress some at first but frankly the practical side has no wow factor at all. If you forget that women are more emotionally anchored when it comes to sex ( yes, yes, I know there are plenty of exceptions but on average now... ) and have a much greater need for communication both before and after you will lose them EVERY time sooner or later. i.e.- women often need "cuddle time" whereas most men think of such things as a waste of time, at least until they are walking out the door and taking "your pussy" with them.

3. Guys that will talk and especially listen when it comes to sex and problems with usually win. It can be a challenge with some women to get them to talk about certain things regarding sex. We learn early on that 95% of the time if you ask a woman how you are doing, if you are really "flipping her switch", etc. that the answer will come back "Oh, you're wonderful, I couldn't ask for more". Yet we also see an infidelity rate of 40-50%, which is better than they see from us but the numbers still don't jibe.... remember that you have 2 ears and one mouth- listen twice as much as you talk. If you won't listen they certainly won't tell you what you need to know. In that respect you are off to a great start....

I can't help but think of Sam Kinison's routine on this...."women won't tell you what they really want and need, they'll tell their sister, they'll tell their mother and they'll tell all your friends...but they won't tell YOU" Something tells me Sam wasn't as good of a listener as a talker.....

Again, the brain is the largest sexual organ in the body. Sounds like yours is plenty big so frankly you are ahead of many, many men out there and you have nothing to be ashamed of at all, heck dude, you have been blessed with a true "multi-purpose tool". You have advantages lots of guys don't so you might want to consider it something other than a "curse". Once you overcome the confidence / self-acceptance part of it the ladies will be calling you "McGuyver" in no time at all because you are whipping out surprise after surprise. ( they love that )

The minute it stops being a problem for you it won't be a problem for the VAST majority of women. If you are not really focused on it ( realize it is not a problem ) they won't be focused on it either, they will be too busy having fun and so will you. A guy with a huge imagination will thrill a woman a lot more than a guy with a huge honker, trust me, I have this on very good authority. My former wife modeled for years and was one of the top 5 in Hawaii for a long time, during that time she dated a certain TV / Movie celebrity that, if I recall correctly, was a "sexiest man alive" for people magazine one year. Her opinion of the sexiest man alive- Robin Williams, in her own words "by far". Imagination is more important than size - almost an Einstein quote....

When you see it as a problem and that is your focus, they will focus on it too. When you see it as an advantage that lets you do more things both of you enjoy without problems ( like taking a long drive to the ER in the middle of the night because she's bleeding and then having to explain why to the Dr. ) she will see it as "full of interesting possibilities" also and respond accordingly. Keep your focus on all the good things about it and so will she.

Always remember- It's not the size of the dog, it's how hard he BITES.

Best of luck.

[davidb1080]

Wow. Thank you all for the words of wisdom!! You have all given me a new found confidence, one that I have been lacking for a long time. I never really expected to get so many points of view on my problem. I just stumbled upon this site and I'm glad I did. I've always considered myself a good lover and I am always way more interested in getting my partner off, than in my own pleasure. Even though the women that I've been with usually seem happy with our sexual encounters, there is always that tought in the back of my mind wondering what she thinks of my "manhood". After hearing from all of you I know now that I can stop worrying and focus on enjoying the experience of being with a woman. Thank you!!!

[kaytee510]

I met this guy a few months ago, he did everything right. As far as spoiling me, catering to my every needs, helping with my son. Just a great big ole fairy tale. Well we waited until we were in love before we made love. The sex wasn't so great. He was really small. I love this man and I want to find ways to enhance our love making without hurting his feelings. Any suggestions?

[davidb1080]

I met this guy a few months ago, he did everything right. As far as spoiling me, catering to my every needs, helping with my son. Just a great big ole fairy tale. Well we waited until we were in love before we made love. The sex wasn't so great. He was really small. I love this man and I want to find ways to enhance our love making without hurting his feelings. Any suggestions?

I think that real communication is the key. What was it about the sex that wasn't so great? Are you in touch with your own needs so you can tell him what feels good to you? I think that next to intercourse, oral sex has been the most satisfying thing for myself and my lovers (and sometimes even more satisfying). I have come to realize that penis size is only a small part of the equation when it comes to great sex. If you love this person then you need to be patient and teach him how to please you and learn what pleases him. There are many "technical " things you can do to enhance love making: new positions, new locations, toys, spontaneous sex, etc.....But it all starts in the brain. Be open, honest and communicate your needs and wants. This is the best advice I can give. Good luck!!

[ambrelyn]

Penis pumps will make the cock temporarily longer, but cannot permanently lengthen the penis without surgery first

My fiancee has been using a pump from this website, the fireman's pump. I kept telling him he didn't need any help, but he wanted to try it, and I was a little curious, so we did. It made him a little bigger, not a huge amount, but it seems like he's that much bigger all the time now. Whether he uses the pump or not. For example, I wasn't ever able to get both my hands around his shaft, but now I can. It's not temporary either. I mean he uses the pump maybe once a week, and we have sex almost every night. Is this not a result of the pump? Or does it have to do more with the amount of foreplay we have or how turned on he is? Just curious, cuz it seems like the pump has made him bigger. Again, not more than an inch longer, but still.

[ambrelyn]

Oh, ok, I see what you mean. Yeah, we've read about what can happen if you use it too much. We also try not to pump it alot in one session. Once it gets difficult to pump we stop. We're not trying to break any records. Like I said, I was happy with him before. But it makes him feel better about himself, and I mean, honestly, who would complain about a little more.

[goodfairy7]

My POV...

There is so much more to pleasing a women then penetration.

If you can be confident in other abilities, like, maybe you are amazing at oral, you will find that she could care less how big your penis is, and your confidence will translate into other areas

I would much rather have a caring, confident lover, than one who just had a huge member and expected that to do all the work.

Good luck, I wish you much happiness,

[swish]

I thought this might be the place for my ? My hubby is short, most times when he tries to move in and out it falls out! This is very disapointing to me. I am on the bottom and he on top. Was wondering if anyone has any idea of a position that woud help us with this. I sure would like to go more than 2 pumps befor having to stop and put it back in.

[ladylove]

There is a vast size variation when it come to the penis; more important than size is knowing how to use what god gave you. If you don't know how to it, it won't matter how big or small you are.

[Beavis]

Trust me otis being big isn't that great. I was with a girl and every time I would penetrate her she would say OW!! I would stop and ask should I pull out and she said no just do it. Now I'm not saying I'm a huge guy I'm just past average but it does post as a set back. So be happy with what you have cause most women love a guy who hits all of their sweet spots. I hit them and pass them as I enter. You hit them and don't go passed them so you can generate better orgasms than me just make sure to learn how to make them mind blowing. Be happy and proud of your size.

[zanej]

I thought this might be the place for my ? My hubby is short, most times when he tries to move in and out it falls out! This is very disapointing to me. I am on the bottom and he on top. Was wondering if anyone has any idea of a position that woud help us with this. I sure would like to go more than 2 pumps befor having to stop and put it back in.

My gf and I seem to have lots of trouble keeping it in during cowgirl and spoons(? not sure if that's what it is actually called). The only time we seem to have trouble with missionary is if I lean forward too far. Try having him simply lean back a little, but not too far. This will also help the penis maintain contact with vagina's upper/front wall aiding in G-spot stimulation. Doggie seems to work the best as far as the "normal" positions go. Also simply slowing down can help him stay a little more in control.

Now for the tricky one. This is a variation of the "T position" that my gf and I sort of stumbled into one night. It's slightly difficult to get into but once there, slipping out is practically impossible. This is true for us and may not be true for you but I say everything is worth trying once. To begin with you should lie on your back and he on his side with your genitals aligned. Your leg closest(spelling?) to his head should drape over his body. Your leg closest to his feet should be clamped between his thighs. Once he is inside you can help hold him there with the leg draped over his body while the leg he holds with his thighs will give him leverage for motion. If you are having trouble try holding your legs at different angles and find what works best for you. Another plus to this is that it leaves his hands free to play with your breasts, clit, etc. Also, if you're a woman who just wants to be "pounded" every now and then, you two can lock hand and pull each other together for some powerful thrusts.

Hope this helps a little. To the man who started this thread, I too tend to have some confidence issues. The more times you give your SO an orgasm, the less you will care about the tool that got the job done. Woman after woman has told me size doesn't matter, but of course those thoughts still pop into our heads from time to time. My advice is that whenever you start feeling a little inadequate, take her straight to O-town.

[synirr]

Now for the tricky one. This is a variation of the "T position" that my gf and I sort of stumbled into one night. It's slightly difficult to get into but once there, slipping out is practically impossible. This is true for us and may not be true for you but I say everything is worth trying once. To begin with you should lie on your back and he on his side with your genitals aligned. Your leg closest(spelling?) to his head should drape over his body. Your leg closest to his feet should be clamped between his thighs. Once he is inside you can help hold him there with the leg draped over his body while the leg he holds with his thighs will give him leverage for motion. If you are having trouble try holding your legs at different angles and find what works best for you. Another plus to this is that it leaves his hands free to play with your breasts, clit, etc. Also, if you're a woman who just wants to be "pounded" every now and then, you two can lock hand and pull each other together for some powerful thrusts.

Holy shit, I owe you one!!

My BF isn't small or anything, he's average size and perfect for me, but this position sounded interesting so we tried it last night. Then we tried a variation where the leg positions were changed... one of his legs between mine, and the other draped over me. We had some of the best sex we've ever had, and that's saying something considering how good our sex life already is!!!