Members telecom69 Posted November 11, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 I wanted to give an update on my gf and I. I came on this forum about a year ago as a very frustrated guy to vent and get some advice. My gf and I are both in our mid-40's. My gf of about a year then was very timid sexually, non-verbal in bed, and just had a lot of issues about sex. She was brought up Catholic and that mastubation and sex were bad, awful sex life with ex-husband of 20 yrs and hated sex with him, no intimacy or romance with him, and a host of other smaller things to overcome in addition to her state of depression. I've always been patient, caring, and it took me awhile to ease her into all of this with romantic intimacy that she has never had in her life. We've been dating for almost two years now. So, where is my gf now? She is not embarrased to use her vibe with me anymore, will try different positions and actually participate in sex now, communicates a little more during sex..but still has a way to go, initiates sex more often, and will just do simple sexy things now in private and public. Sometime she will let me read passages of erotic novels to her to. And today she told me very excitedly that she wanted to go a a strip club to see what it is like as she has never been, and she really wants to watch porn with me to "get really turned on" as she called it. We'll be at the sex shop tomorrow to look for a couple of flicks. Should be interesting to see how she reacts when we watch it. I'm an ex-bartender and make bad ass margaritas at home, so we'll have one to loosen up before the porn flick. I want it to be a positive experience for her.There were several times I just didn't want to deal with it anymore over the term of the relationship, but sometimes love just pushes you on. I've been as patient with her as best I could often under some difficult circumstances. Mikayla and some others really provided some nice advice and feedback, and I appreciate it very much. Thanks! She seems to have changed for the better even more since she is moving in with me in a couple of weeks. I'm thinking the commitment thing puts her more at ease and is easier for her to see into the future now.Is sex perfect now? No it isn't. But at least I can see her trying, and I feel she is enjoying sexually intimacy a lot more now. Its wonderful to start to be able to experience sexual intimacy more with someone who is dear to me. I'm certainly a lot less stressed out to. Regards,Telecom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Mikayla1 Posted November 11, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 I am so glad to see that things are working out for you Telecom! I remember those first posts of yours, and I think there were many times that I gave a lot of advice and then finally said, "If you don't think it will work, then maybe it is time to call it quits." You were resilent, knowing that you cared so much for this girl made it easier to give advice to you. You were willing and eager to do ANYTHING to fix this.I am glad to see that you stayed with her, many people hold out for that "perfect" person, and in reality, no one is perfect. We all try to be the best that we can be, and sometimes people don't accept that. You have given her unconditional love, support and now a commitment. She feels secure with you because you have continually shown that you are not a jackass who is going to bolt at the first sign of trouble! You are truly a man among men!Please keep us updated, and come in and post from time to time. You have gone through something that could help many, many people here!Hope it keeps getting better for you! Mikayla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members whiskeywoman Posted November 11, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 BRAVO!!!!I think it is wonderful that you both are still together.No relationship is perfect, but you are trying to make her happy, and she is trying to make you happy, not many folks can say that about their SO.It is good to hear you are still being patient with her, and tht she is still willing and able to learn more about herself and you.I salute both of you, and I wish you both all the best! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Valntyn Posted November 11, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 11, 2006 Congratulations all around! For your up and coming new living arrangements, for her successes and for yours! As Mikayla said, "you are truly a man among men!" It's wonderful you were so patient and loving and didn't give up just because it was a less-than-perfect situation, and it's wonderful that she allowed herself to be more open and learn. Right on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted November 12, 2006 Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 How AWESOME for the both of you!I have to agree with the other posters. that's great that you're so willing to be so supportive and patient. You really are a gem, and I am sure she knows it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members zimmersdreamer Posted November 12, 2006 Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2006 i have been in her shoes for a while where sex was just an act i wanted to get over and there was nothing my BF could do or say to make things better. i took me a long time to get over it, but i finally did. there are some amayzing people on here that offer help, advice and insite. i am glad that you are the type of man that sticks by and helps her through her issues. i am sure in the end you both will find a love that is sweeter than any other. please do keep us posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members telecom69 Posted November 20, 2006 Author Members Report Share Posted November 20, 2006 i have been in her shoes for a while where sex was just an act i wanted to get over and there was nothing my BF could do or say to make things better. i took me a long time to get over it, but i finally did. there are some amayzing people on here that offer help, advice and insite. i am glad that you are the type of man that sticks by and helps her through her issues. i am sure in the end you both will find a love that is sweeter than any other. please do keep us posted.Thanks everyone for your replies. Even since I posted this email ten days ago, she has changed\opened up even more. Its been years since I had sex three times in the same day, much less a Sunday like we did this past Sunday. Its obvious since she is having orgasms now, so she is willing\wanting to have sex more.We got another vibe (Fun Factory Sally) http://shop.tootimid.com/index.asp?PageAct...ROD&ProdID=4824. Its expensive, but she loved it. This is her first dual action and I told her she would like it. She guided me every minute of using it on her and I've never seen her moan or move like that. Pure heaven, and what a turn on!! If you have the $$, I highly recommend any of the Fun Factory toys. We even viewed a porno together for the first time, but it was really bad and did nothing for either of us. I actually think this one was to soft core, and she wants something more. That surprised me.She is communicating back to me now during sex to, which is all I ever wanted. Its still hard to believe. So, things are going very good! Happy Thanksgiving to all.......Telecom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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