Internet Dating

[krisleightate]

I was just wondering what everyones thought were on Internet Dating. Do you think that it is a good way to start a relationship or will it just end badly?

[Kinky Twinkie]

I was just wondering what everyones thought were on Internet Dating. Do you think that it is a good way to start a relationship or will it just end badly?

It another avenue for meeting people but no one should put alot of eggs in one basket, I have a student who over 50 and looking for someone and she recently tried it. I think women get better luck then the men and I find people get more picker to the point they never get around to meeting.

There a fantasy about it that turns us on to it and then the reality sits in as we get discourgaed trying to get to meeting someone only to have them no show or stop writing or never calling or never getting their number to call. I tried it off and on for years, and met mayabe 3 people which one happens to be the wife. Hardly anyone knows that we met that way, us older folks find it embaressing to admit while it just part of life that is already accepted by the younger folks who dont know it a new thing still.

If your gonna try it, just don't sit by the pc waiting for that mail to pour in right away. In fact you'll email far more then you'll recieve a reply for and alot of the people yo email are not active or searchng for anyone anymore. They take the old adds and use them as advertisment sort of and you get this "your latest matches" sent to you, get excited and email everyone and out of 20 emails you send you might get a reply.

It a numbers game

Glenn

[thurisas]

I think internet dating can be a double edged sword. As Howard said, you have the chance to be open and completely honest due to your anonymity and get that in return, but at the same time you have the chance to get and give a pack of lies or embellishments. Either way you're stuck in the very same position all relationships have to get to. You have to meet this person, you have to be attracted to them in some way/shape/form, and you have to find a comfort level of trust and respect that will make you want to see them again. So, it CAN be a great tool, but I would approach it with a fair amount of caution.

Thurisas.

[woozyG]

Krazikris, I met my husband through eharmony.com, so I it can be a good thing. I guess one of the drawbacks, though, is that you never know if the people are being honest. I guess you just have to try it out and then use your best judgement. I don't know if most internet dating sites make you pay, but I paid an initial $50 to get going with eharmony. I felt like people who were on there were serious about getting into a relationship, not just messing around. You can kindof get an idea of what you're getting into by the way the site is advertised. Some are definitely for just messing around. With eharmony they are more into the serious relationship thing.

If I were you I'd decide what I'm looking for and then find a site that seems to be up to your speed. I guess you do have to be careful, though, when meeting people. THere are a lot of crazies out there.

[jesso]

I have a couple girlfriends who really like internet dating. For some, I think it can be a great source for meeting new people. Some people get too busy or too shy in their normal routines. Online can give them the opportunity to do things at their pace and maybe let their guard down. I think there are some obvious negatives addressed here already though. My biggest one is body and eye language. You know that first instinctual sexual tension/energy that you feel when you are immediately attracted to that certain someone. I'm not sure how that would work online. I mean its not like your mouse starts quivering right?

[krisleightate]

I am not trying internet dating, I just wanted to know what everyone else thought about it. I think that it is a valid form of meeting someone, but I would rather meet them in person myself. I was just trying to see what the general vibe was about it.

woozyG, I think thats great that you met on-line, you are one of the few sucess stories I have seen

[Tyger]

People need to realize, that when internet dating, that if they meet their chat partners online, that, eventually, the real them will be found out. Maybe they will be liked, maybe not. Honesty is the best policy. Do I mean that you need to give your life story all at once? No, but beinghonest

When even face-to-face dating, some quirks, habits, and behaviors are hidden or disguised upon the first meetings. Same with internet dating, it's just easier to hide.

I think that the internet has opened up a lot of people's lives. Some people that may not have had the will, or means to get themself out there and/or being able to meet people from different regions, states, and even countries!

I have several friends who met their SO's online, one of which is even married to her internet find, and has been for 7 yrs! She is bipolar, and at times, doesn't even want to leave the house. So, the internet was a great way for her to "put herself out there". Then she met her now husband via the internet. Lucky for them, they were in the same state, and only 2 hours away from each other. The slowly got to know each other over the interent, then exchanged phone calls, then met face to face. She admits, that, when first seeing him, he wasn't physically her type that she would normally go for, but, since they had talked and all, they got to know each other, and about a year later, they married! Neither one of them is the type to blow things out of proportion, lie, decieve, or want for drama. So, being completly open about who they are, and honest about what types of people they are, really benifitted both of them

So, where I have never participated in online dating, I'm not against it. I'm one of those people that like to see to believe. And that goes for meeting and learning who people REALLY are, if I want them to be an important part of my life.

[sever2morrow]

I was just wondering what everyones thought were on Internet Dating. Do you think that it is a good way to start a relationship or will it just end badly?

This is a very good post. It is obvious that you’re not actually asking for advice as much as starting a debate.

As for me I’ve had one or two internet relationships both romantic and physical. At the beginning they’ve always been very exciting, but soon have either run out of steam or if they are romantic they become very frustrating with lots of misunderstandings and insecurities, especially when your are separated from the other person by distance with no real hope of meeting.

[ShyBear]

I have met many nice people on the internet...my current boyfriend I met online...we started out talking and getting to know one another first and then decided that, yeah, we would like to meet in person. After that we started talking more frequently online and seeing each other...but it was not without its problems...if you have read any of my recent posts you will see what I mean....however, after taking Howard's advice...things have gotten so much better...there is about 50 miles between us but not a huge obstical. We take turns making the drive. He can be a royal pain in the ass...but then again...so can I. I met another nice man on yahoo personals that I also talk too...he has been a really great friend...he has fabulous relationship potential as well...but....he and I have never been able to coordinate schedules more than once...and he lives even closer...go figure. I have many great friends that I have talk to for several years online via a messenger service that I have never even met because they all live in different states. I would love to meet all of them someday if I could...lol....Online dating has its ups and its downs...true...I met one guy that just told me so many different lies he was not able to keep them straight anymore and when I started telling him what the truth was he up and disappeared....lol. He then came back a month later and said he was away due to work and could not tell me...I was like whatever dude...believe what you need to in your fantasy world...So NO not all online meetings go well...but so far so good this time around...

[wildangel58]

I know a lot of people who started internet relationships that eventually turned out to "real" relationships... and they're happily married now. Personally, I don't think I'd ever do it, just because I get really nervous about meeting people from the Internet. You never know who's really sitting behind the computer.

[DirtyBlonde]

Well...I have to give it two thumbs up....I met the absolute man of my dreams, my soul mate and the best friend I could ask for (as well as the best sexual partner) on AFF (adultfriendfinder.com). I got VERY lucky.

Unfortunately, there are alot of liars too...both of us were very honest (no reason to be anything but) and we've been happily together for almost 2 years. I never imagined things could be so good...the combination of love and lust that we have together is something I can't even begin to compare to anything else.

[vomfliegen]

Hey,

about 2 years ago, I met my todays wife online. It was a kind of crazy thing. However, we felt in love relatively quickly even being something like 14.000 miles away each other. I wasn`t easy. Both of us thourght several times to quit, but under the end, we finally realized that we are made for each other. If you have a Internet Relation, you have to make many compromises and you have to WORK on it to make it happend. I mean, it is not like in real life where many things are simply happend. You have to accept to make many compromises and you have to try to specify your self what you really want to adress to your partner on the other side to move on. If you don`t do that or if you see your or ther part isn`t doing it, it won`t work

The limited way of comunicaiton and all the other difficuilties (manily also language and culture) is making out of my view a relation stronger, because such is physcially training you to solve problems in real live jointly rather then just runn away as many doing if thing`s are not moving as expected.

So, just try and test your self. .....

I was just wondering what everyones thought were on Internet Dating. Do you think that it is a good way to start a relationship or will it just end badly?

[browneyedbombshell]

i met my fiance playing poker online. he lived in the UK and after talking for almost a year we finally met in person. it worked great for me because i am a very physical person and often slept with men too soon. it always clouded my judgement. by meeting him online, there was no chance of that and we had no choice but to get to know each other for who we are on the inside. our love wasnt based on a physical encounter and i never had to wonder if i was in love with him or how good he was in bed. it isnt for everyone though and there are some weird folks out there. guess it all depends on the person.

[dawalden2005]

I was just wondering what everyones thought were on Internet Dating. Do you think that it is a good way to start a relationship or will it just end badly?

I actually met my husband off yahoo.com! We met in June of 2004 and was married in Sept of 2004.

This has been the best marriage! We are perfect for each other! I think what made it so easy for me is that I was totally up front and honest from the start about exactly what I was looking for instead of saying what I thought men would want to hear. He has turned out to be a GREAT step dad to my three kids and treats me like a queen. We met in a public place at first so I could make sure he wasnt a wacko, lol...but believe or not I met some very nice people on the Internet. As far as having a relationship end up bad, Well you win some you lose some. I never thought of my ending a relationship as a mistake but instead chalked it up to good experience. Good Luck!

[pappyld04]

I'm sure that it is one way to meet people that you not have otherwise! Like everything else in life you have to learn to seperate the real from the fakes. I'm sure that Gary Coleman has a profile somewhere with a picture of Denzel Washington so that he is assured to get responses. I'm sure that you have already thought about that too. I do believe that a relationship started as friends has a much better chance of success. Personally I can fall in lust at a stoplight. The women today are much prettier than the ones I grew up around. (Must be something in the water)!! But the chances of getting to know that person is limited to looks only. And once in a while a wink or a flash of ??!! At least you have an option if you seek to meet others online. We know that it has worked for some.

[Mike_d]

Had a very interesting discussion about this topic in a class this week. I have never tried ID but I know some ppl who are married and happily so. I also know of a guy and girl who met on the net, came to college together, he was just arrested for attempting to meet and seduce a 14 year old that turned out to be an undercover cop. There are ups and downs, but if you are comfortable with it, go for it, just use your head when stepping into cyberspace. The anonymity is a blessing and a curse, the mystery is fun, but be prepared for the reality of it sometimes.

[roxie]

Well...I have to give it two thumbs up....I met the absolute man of my dreams, my soul mate and the best friend I could ask for (as well as the best sexual partner) on AFF (adultfriendfinder.com). I got VERY lucky.

Unfortunately, there are alot of liars too...both of us were very honest (no reason to be anything but) and we've been happily together for almost 2 years. I never imagined things could be so good...the combination of love and lust that we have together is something I can't even begin to compare to anything else.

I am in 100% agreement with DirtyBlonde!! I met my current SO online... not even through a dating site, just a regular ole message board! Neither of us were even looking for "love"; we got to know each other over the course of a year (online, email, phone) and finally admitted to each other that there were feelings developing. A few months after that we met in person - and the rest is history. We were distanced by a couple of states initially, so there was a lot of travel in the beginning, but I relocated to where he was about 6 months after we first met.

I also agree that honesty may be a problem with online dating, you really don't know if the online persona someone has created is "real" or not, but often you can tell after talking to the person regularly if they are being true or not. Heck, there's not even a guarantee that someone you meet in the traditional face-to-face method is "real", my XDH is the prime example of this (which is why he is now X ).

[Sunshine Sam218]

I think it depends on most people. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. I met my boyfriend on myspace. One day I was browsing through comments on this band myspace that I had as a friend and sure enough one of his comments was on there. I sent him a message, we began talking and I fell in love with him.

[dazzleme]

Like with everything else in life you have to proceed with caution and there are up's and down's to internet dating. In MY personal life it was an option I was willing to try out, I knew I was ready to start dating and looking for a serious relationship yet I had none of the other option's available being a single mother to a "high maintence" little girl. Going out to a bar was not the way I intended to meet someone because when I went out I went out with girlfriends to have a good time and we all made a pact with each about not letting each other take a guy home and it was only about fun. Typically going out to various things I always have my daughter with me which makes it hard to actually meet someone so I gave online dating a whirl.

I tried yahoo personals and eharmony and liked eharmony better than the yahoo...just personally....because I felt like it was more likeminded with what I was looking for. After being in open communications with various members and not feeling any sparks, I went out on a couple of dates with a couple of guys and talked on the phone with a couple others yet never really felt that "spark" with any of them. Finally I was matched with a guy who has proven to be the best dating experience I've ever had! We have been together for many months now and see no signs of stopping and we are really well matched and I see this as possibly "the one" I have dreamed of my whole life.

It worked for me, my guy is wonderful and amazing and I am thankful to have met him, he has added so much to my life and my daughters life and like I said we are very well matched!

It works for some and doesn't work for others, my suggestions to anyone who wants to try it out to make sure you proceed with caution as you would in ANY relationship in this day and age, NEVER give out home phone numbers and ALWAYS meet in a well populated place and take your time getting to know each other via emails and phone conversations because you can usually tell alot about someone by talking to them. (and watch for signs of tripping up and not telling the truth).

My experience was a good one but it took a while to find that "right one" and follow my gut feelings with others that I didn't feel that certain spark. I made sure to be very cautious because I have a daughter and take my time. Make your rules (ie. don't feel the need to meet that person IN person right away) and make sure you stick to them, that other person should be able to follow those rules if they really want to meet you.

Hope that made sense!