Newbie lisa.lemp Posted May 20, 2008 Newbie Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 Hi, I've been a customer on here for some time and thought I'd join this. I need some help in the sex field in which I find hard to discuss sometimes and thought talking to strangers might be easier. I am recently married and my husband is getting really frustrated because I can't seem to have an orgasm unless I use a vibrator on my clit or use my fingers. He can't seem to get me off without my help. He is beginning to think that he is no good at pleasing me and I know that isn't the fact. The fact is I have always had a difficult time having the big O with just the man doing his thing. In my first marriage of 12 years, I never had an orgasm unless I did it myself. My husband wants to be able to get my off without my help. We communicate well and he has tried everything, but there must be something we haven't tried? Does anyone out there have any suggestions?Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members pappyld04 Posted May 20, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 First welcome to the forum! Are you capable of having an O if it's his fingers getting you there? Personally, I can almost get off when a women starts helping to achieve her own O. It may take some time to get comfortable enough for him to do it all himself but you are seemingly willing to take charge of your own pleasure and not just after all that he is tryiong to do with you. Please bring him in here and cut him loose on some of the articles that Mikayla and others have written on any topics that pique both of your interests! I promise you he will learn a lot of new things to help you along and so will you as far as that goes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members cmwise1 Posted May 20, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 It is hard to get the positions just right during vaginal sex to have the clitoris stimulated at the same time. You already know this works for you...a vibe or your fingers. Have HIM use the vibe and/or his fingers...maybe he wants to have some control and feels like he doesn't have any because you can pleasure yourself. Not everyone can have an orgasm just with vaginal sex and his persistence that you have one could cause some trouble...sounds like you are already feeling the pressure. Do you cum during oral sex?Oh, BTW, Welcome to the forum!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ToyQueen Posted May 20, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 20, 2008 First of all, welcome to the forum! Second, 80-85% of women NEED clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm. Is your hubby willing to use his own fingers on you? I think it's great that you will do what it takes to pleasure yourself. Perhaps your hubby is willing to learn.I found that I could only climax with intercourse if I was on top, so I could provide the stimulation against him that I needed. Would that work for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members angelkisses98 Posted May 21, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 First of all, welcome to the forum! Second, 80-85% of women NEED clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm. Is your hubby willing to use his own fingers on you? I think it's great that you will do what it takes to pleasure yourself. Perhaps your hubby is willing to learn.I found that I could only climax with intercourse if I was on top, so I could provide the stimulation against him that I needed. Would that work for you? welcome!! and i am one of those women also!! at first hubby was kind of worried as well, but then when he started using my toys on me, he changed his mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted May 21, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Welcome to TT! I agree with pinky44 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members nosleepnmesa Posted May 21, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Welcome to the forum!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members sun_flower969 Posted May 21, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Hi, I've been a customer on here for some time and thought I'd join this. I need some help in the sex field in which I find hard to discuss sometimes and thought talking to strangers might be easier. I am recently married and my husband is getting really frustrated because I can't seem to have an orgasm unless I use a vibrator on my clit or use my fingers. He can't seem to get me off without my help. He is beginning to think that he is no good at pleasing me and I know that isn't the fact. The fact is I have always had a difficult time having the big O with just the man doing his thing. In my first marriage of 12 years, I never had an orgasm unless I did it myself. My husband wants to be able to get my off without my help. We communicate well and he has tried everything, but there must be something we haven't tried? Does anyone out there have any suggestions?Thanks You sound like I used to sound. Welcome! read on read on! There is so much info and things for you to try here. I bet you will have success before you know it! Just know You ARE capable. Nothing is wrong with you! you just have to figure it out. I think Mikayla's Gspot orgasm article would really help you (and your husband) it it super informative!http://www.tootimid.com/sex_education/misc...spot_orgasm.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted May 21, 2008 Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Welcome to the site!! Feel free to peruse the rest of the Adult Talk forums, and you will find lots of useful hints, tips, and advise. You are not alone with the needing clit stimulation to get off darlin'. Most of us ladies do!! It's not "your fault" or "his fault", it's just the way most women are wired, damn the luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie lisa.lemp Posted May 21, 2008 Author Newbie Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 It is hard to get the positions just right during vaginal sex to have the clitoris stimulated at the same time. You already know this works for you...a vibe or your fingers. Have HIM use the vibe and/or his fingers...maybe he wants to have some control and feels like he doesn't have any because you can pleasure yourself. Not everyone can have an orgasm just with vaginal sex and his persistence that you have one could cause some trouble...sounds like you are already feeling the pressure. Do you cum during oral sex?Oh, BTW, Welcome to the forum!!Hi, thanks for your response. No, I haven't had an orgasm during oral sex. He has tried real hard too and I feel like I'm coming close, but it never happens. He feels like he's married to the woman of his dreams and can't make his wife cum and he thinks he isn't big enough or whatever. I told him it's not that. He is willing to try anything. He has tried his fingers and the vibe during sex but it never happens. It only happens if I'm in control of my clit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members jennycherie Posted May 21, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 welcome - it sounds to be me like you are perfectly normal. Isn't it great that you know what works? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members hollybw Posted May 21, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 21, 2008 Welcome to the forum! Sounds to me like you may just be trying to hard - pressure is a buzz killer!Try masterbating to achieve this first - the more you do it, the easier it is to get there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members mystofpric Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Welcome! I'd offer up my two cent, but everyone has covered most of it so I'm just here to welcome. enjoy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members its1013 Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Welcome to the site.I know EXACTLY what you're experiencing and the one thing that helped me move past this was me sitting or lying in front of my guy. When you're solo, you don't have distractions of facial expressions, etc. Maybe if the two of you try it with you being in front of him while he's stimulating you, you can close your eyes, relax more and feel more free to guide him - you know, slower, left, right, faster, etc. You could also introduce a vibrating toy while he's behind you. Personally, I love my egg. The right side of my clit holds the 'magic' spot. Exploit and capitalize on your magic spot and then I think you can move forward from there.It'll make you happy that he's happy he can get you off even if it happens quickly. Then the two of you can learn to expland on timing.Good luck. Hope this helps.sexualpeak, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Amylynn920 Posted May 22, 2008 Members Report Share Posted May 22, 2008 Welcome, from another woman who needs clit stim to orgasm. I posted about this not too long ago. It's ok for you to be in control, whatever works for you to get there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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